If someone really loves you, they wouldn’t let you slip away no matter how hard the situation may be.

10^th October 2014

As expected, news of Luhan leaving Exo broke out and Luhan was nowhere to be seen in Beijing. He was thankful for this big city and at the same time, grateful to Xu Feng that he had foreseen this coming. Half a month into his departure, he had been actively receiving treatment from home. Xu Feng had arranged the best doctor in Beijing to go to the house that Bixue and Luhan stayed so he could keep away from the public eye. It was something that Luhan, and also Bixue really needed.

Bixue had officially taken time off from her work, focusing fully on helping Luhan recover. There was nothing much she could do except to accompany him and to boil soup that would aid to strengthen his body. Everyday, she would ask herself what else could she do more for him because Luhan did not look alright in any way.

“Are you okay?” Bixue asked him halfway through their meal. She knew that he was worried about the reaction from the public but they both had made a pact on not to check the social media until Luhan’s health condition improved.

Luhan looked up at the girl and shook his head. As much as he wanted to clear his mind to allow speedy recovery, he could not help thinking about what would his fans and the people outside say about him. He was worried everything he built up might be ruined just like that. And he, Luhan, will have nowhere else to turn to.

He was not going to lie to his girlfriend when she asks if he is okay. They are in love so he will tell her what’s bothering him. She cares. It’s also alright for him to be vulnerable with her. He did not want to tell her that he is okay when he is not, because then he will be mad at her for not understanding him when he did not even explain it to her. Bixue can’t read everything on his mind so he is going to give her a chance to listen, understand and definitely love him.

Putting down her chopsticks, Bixue walked behind him and wrapped around his shoulders. She kissed his cheeks, thanking him for being honest with her. The way he shook his head, telling her that he was sad, came to her as he would never be okay again but no matter what happens, she would hold him warm, until all his broken parts heal, until he would feel the sunshine again, and even more until he becomes it. “You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.”

This time, Luhan nodded his head. He held Bixue’ hands and guided her to the front before pulling her onto his lap. He buried his head into her embrace, closing his eyes tiredly. Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding him when he is at his worst. And he really is thankful that he is back home because whatever happens, Bixue is his light.

“How are you feeling?” Bixue patted his back gently after sharing silence for a long while.

“Safe.” Luhan muttered before looking  up at her. “When I’m with you, I feel so safe. Like I’m home.”

As the days went by, Bixue continued to do her part. She would wake up at 7 in the morning to purchase the freshest chicken from the market so that she could brew soup everyday, and also ingredients for their meals that day. Then, she would start cooking and after they eat, she would remind him to take his medicine. It was like her love covered Luhan. It wrapped around him like a blanket. Her soul started a fire inside him once again, and it’s slowly melting the sadness that used to consume him. She did it through her actions.

This day, Luhan put down his game controller and looked at Bixue who was busy in the kitchen. He likes looking at her when she is not paying attention because he thinks that’s when she is the most beautiful because she is just being her usual self, concerning about his health as she danced around the kitchen just like a bumble bee, always busy with something that is good for him. He could not imagine having anything more than her. She is his best friend, his everything to him. He did not want to ask for anything more.

Walking into the kitchen, Luhan slipped his hands around her waist and leaned his chin on her shoulders.

“Let’s do take out tonight instead.”

“Take outs are unhealthy. I’m already almost done with preparing for dinner anyway.”

“Doctor said I’m recovering well. Stop being so worried uh?” Luhan told her softly and grabbed her hands that were busy washing the vegetables in the sink. “Let’s eat at my parent’s house today then.”

Bixue turned her head slightly and smiled at the boy. Its always moments like this that she knows for sure Luhan loves her. He figures out what she needs and he gives it to her, without her asking; words of comfort.  

“Then shall we head over to the living room?” Bixue asked and Luhan helped her to take off her apron, backhugging her as the couple made their way to the sofa.

“What shall we do?” Luhan browse through the movie channels but Bixue did not reply him. Instead, she took his phone and switched it on. Luhan looked at her in shock. He had not touched or even switched on his phone since he returned to Beijing.

“Let’s check what your fans say.” Bixue placed the phone back in his hands.

“It’s okay. I had somehow learn to take it lightly these few weeks.” Luhan told her honestly.

“But it would never untie the knot over here.” With her finger placed across his heart, Luhan looked down and he knew that she was right, deep within him he still wanted to find out. “Don’t worry Luhan, I’m beside you.”

With his trembling fingers, Luhan hit on his Weibo app lightly. He leaned forward to his phone and Bixue simply just placed her chin on his shoulder while her arms wrapped around his waist, looking over at his phone together.

Very much to his surprise, it was contrary to what he had imagined. His fans left tons of encouraging messages on his social media accounts, be it Weibo or Instagram; they all wished him well and hoped for speedy recovery. Although there were a few who scolded him for betraying Exo, it was much lesser than he had expected. As he scrolled through the messages, reading every single one of them, tears began welling up his eyes that he tried to hide it behind his long fringe.

“Leave them a message. They would be happy to hear from you.” Bixue encouraged but he did not know what to write. He stared at the page for a long time, before deciding to type something in English so all of his fans could understand. Bixue did not want to contribute, she wanted to have his own thoughts even when she holds him in her arms. After he was done, he switched off his phone and pulled Bixue in so he could hug her better.

They both fell into silence as Luhan reflected about how his health issues had made so many people worry about him. Bixue who is worried everyday, his parents who came over every weekend to check on him, Laogao, Xu Feng and Guo Jing who comes over once in a while to visit him and even his fans whom he had not met some of them before. He felt bad that he had caused them so much trouble and he asked himself how was he going to return the favour in the future. He could fulfill his parents and Bixue’s wish, to not be an artist but if he is no longer one, what other jobs could he do? And what would happen to the fans who loves him and stuck by him this time?

For now, he decided to leave these issues aside. He was going to focus on getting his health back on track so as not to let everyone down. They chose a romantic movie to watch as Bixue lay in his arms with him and help him forget about the world.

“First love, do you even remember who it was?” The male lead in the movie asked.

“Yeah, I do. It was you.” Luhan replied softly beside her ears.

“It’s not me you liar.” Bixue back. They both knew who his first love was and once in a while, Bixue would poke on their misery and laughed at it.

“First love never dies.” The male lead went on and Luhan repeated the same words.

“First love never dies. And that’s you.”

Bixue smiled and reached over to meet Luhan’s lips. The couple kissed each other lovingly, alongside with the male and female leads in the movie as their breathings got messier and they both were getting heated up. Bixue did not mind if it end up any further, she was his since the first time they met but it was her first time, she did not know what to expect or what to do.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” Luhan told her gently as he kissed down her neck, his hands slipping into her shirt to carress her soft skin. Bixue rested her hands on his defined chest, enjoying the buildup that Luhan was guiding her to. As he slowly fondled her, Bixue was embarrassed at how excited she felt that she blushed furiously. Although his hands were under her shirt, she knew exactly what he was doing.

Luhan kissed her reddened cheeks. It was their first time making out and he wanted to make sure that he took it slow. He pulled his lips away unwillingly after pleasuring her and pulled her shirt back in place. Bixue simply squirmed in his arms with embarrassment that made Luhan chuckled at how adorable and innocent she looks.

And that was what he needs.

A person who can make him laugh on mornings that he did not want to wake up.

As much as I would like this fic to be "clean", I don't think Luhan is THAT innocent. So for the reality of the fic, I decided to add slight skinships. I would try to write in a more beautiful way instead of my usual way? Hahah.

Anyway, I'm receiving REALLY little questions for behind the scenes - cast interviews. PLEASE PLEASE THROW IN MORE QUESTIONS! It would be hard to make it real if I don't receive at least 5 questions? I only have 2 so far /: 1 for Luhan and 1 for Bixue. 

3 more chapters and the story will end. SO GRAB YOUR LAST CHANCE TO ASK PLS! 

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