Some people touch your body. Some people touch your soul.

31^st January 2014

Luhan could not remember how many hours he slept the night before but he quickly swallowed a pill, in hope that he could get a few hours of rest before reaching Beijing. At least when he is asleep, he doesn’t have to feel guilt because he would not remember the fact that he slept with someone else to earn that million dollar copies sale and that he drank with many other girls to get sponsorships and endorsement deals. He could not say no even though he hated it.

However, the amount of sleep he got could not chase away the tireness that was draining him out. He still looked so tired that Bixue could not help but to be shocked at his state. Nonetheless, she still pulled him into his arms to welcome him home but as they laid on the bed at night, she knew that Luhan was still not asleep even though it was 3am in the morning.

“Talk to me.” Bixue said in the dark as she cuddled against him. He used to fall asleep immediately when he comes back on the first night. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.” Luhan replied and slipped his arms around her petite waist, “Absolutely nothing.”

He did not want her to see that side of him; the dirty and ugly Luhan. He could not show it to her because all these years away from home, had had learnt that once he reveal all that he is, people eventually get scared and they run. He could not afford to let Bixue run away.

He was not sure if he could ever show her, or anyone that side he is ashamed of.

“Come back to me.” Bixue hugged him a little tighter. He may be laying next to her but she knew he was not here with her. She could see it in his eyes when they talked. Where ever he was, he just wanted him to come back to her soon. All that she wanted was him to be himself when she is with her. At least, he would not be so tired.

“Silly girl, I’m right here.”

The night’s conversation ended as the day slowly broke. It was their yearly affair and tradition that they spent the upcoming New Year this way; going to the market together, decorate the house together and wrap the dumplings together.  It was something that kept the two of them going for the rest of the year just so to spend the short but fulfilling New Year together again the next year.

The house was quieter than usual because Luhan was not as active and talkative as before. Bixue noticed the change and she knew it was the tiredness that was wearing him out so she pretended not to know. She did not want him to spend extra energy to pretend just to make her less worried. Even through the night when he faced insomnia, Bixue pretended to sleep. Till it was near dawn then Luhan finally fell asleep, and she too, slept.

“Happy New Year.” Bixue greeted Luhan when his eyes fluttered opened.

With a smile spreading across his face, Luhan pulled Bixue closer to him and pecked her lips lightly. “Happy New Year.”

“Do you want to go back home today?” Bixue asked lightly but Luhan just looked away with a forced smile.

“Maybe not this year.” He remembered that during an interview, a reporter asked him to describe his home and he almost said her name. Instead, he stayed quiet. People expected him to say a damn place but he felt more like home in her two arms that ever in his own house. Not even his dormitory.

Holding his head with her hand, Bixue turned Luhan’s head so that he was looking at her. Then her thumbs began drawing circles on his cheeks, earning a soft chuckle from the man as he held her hands that were on his face.

“You know, I just found out recently that your parents went to SMTown in Beijing earlier this year.”

Luhan froze with his eyes wide opened, waiting for Bixue to continue.

“I didn’t know until I talked to your mum over the phone a few days ago. She said something like, Luhan is so successful now. He must be happy that he has so many fans cheering for him at the concert in Beijing.”

“I asked her how did she know that you had concert in Beijing and guess what she said? She said that your dad and her went instinctively before realising that she was not supposed to say.”

A whirl of emotions surged through Luhan. He was touched that his parents made an effort to go there, happy that they finally accepted his dreams as a singer, worried that he did not perform well enough that day and upset that he could no longer be honest with the way he is.

“You performed well that day. Your mother said that she did not know you could dance so well.” Bixue held his hand as she chuckled. She too, did not expect that boy she met 10 years ago could dance so well.  “And Luhan..”

“Your parents missed you.”

“I think you should make the first step to go back now. They had made theirs already.”

Holding Bixue’s hands tightly in his, Luhan nodded his head. The couple quickly got up to prepare with Luhan fussing over his dressing. He wanted to look his best so he even borrowed Bixue’s concealer to conceal his dark circles. Luhan could not wait for Laogao to fetch him, he gave up being secretive and drove Bixue back to his home together. But when he reached, he suddenly lost the courage to enter as memories of how he was being chased out flashed past him.

“Young Master!” An old and husky voice broke the silence. Luhan looked up to see an old man with grey hair struggling down the steps.

“Young Master!!” Chen-bo called out as he grabbed on to Luhan’s arms tightly. When the maids told him that Luhan had returned, he ran out immediately. For years he had been waiting for his young master to return, he was so afraid that he might not be able to see him before he dies. “You are back.. My young master… I thought I will only get to see you at my grave…”

“Chen-bo…” Luhan hugged the old man as he blinked away his tears. The butler who once ran after him to catch him for a bath could no longer run, the butler who was young had wrinkles all over his face now and the butler who once treat him like his own son, still do. Guilt sprang into Luhan’s chest.

“Follow me in.. Old Master and Old mistress would be so happy.. so happy to see you..”

The old man led the way and Luhan and Bixue followed suit. They quietly approached the dining area that never changed ever since he left, not even the way his parents sat. The only thing that changed was his father and mother’s hair. The once jet black hair had all turned grey. Luhan stood still, watching them eat their breakfast like how they would on every New Year morning. He remembered when he was younger, the house would be filled with his voice and his mother had to ask him to quieten down just so he would stop asking questions and eat.

When his parents finally realize that he was standing there, the tears that Luhan had been controlling all these while, fell. He stared at his mother who was also crying and his father who just stared back at him, with tears glistening under the living room’s lights.

“P…Pa… M..Ma.. I’m.. I’m home.” Luhan finally found his voice after some time. His mother looked at him and looked at her husband, holding his hands worriedly when he did not make any response.

“Lao ye, our son is back and why aren’t you saying a thing! Your anger should have subsided after so many years! You.. you had even seen for yourself. He had made it big! There should be no hatred between father and son!” His mother was crying and begging at the same time. Bixue and Chen-bo had to wipe away their tears as they prayed hard that Old Mr Lu would not throw Luhan out of the house again.

Because if he did, Bixue knows, Luhan was going to be even more broken.

Silence engulfed the entire living as no one dared to say a thing. The only sound that could be heard was the soft sniffles that was coming from everyone.

“Why are you still standing there? Come over and eat.”

Luhan could not believe his ears when his father broke the silence. He had expected him to throw him out of the door once again. Unable to believe his ears, he just stared back at his father.

“Luhan! My son!!” Mrs Lu ran over to give her son a hug. For how many years she had hoped that she could embraced her son once again.

“Ma…” Luhan hugged the mother and after a while, she pulled away. She wiped his and her tears away and led Luhan to the table. As Luhan approached the table, he did not forget the girl who made everything happened. He turned around with a bright smile, reaching his hand out for Bixue, waiting for her to join him.

When their hands interlinked, Luhan brought her to the dining table and sat her beside his usual spot without breaking their hands.

“Pa.. Happy New Year. Bixue and I hope that Ma and you will have good health.” He wished his parents and his mother smiled as she nodded her head.

His father did not smile or nod, he wore a grim expression but there were tears behind his eyes.

“Let’s eat.”

After more than 7 years, the Lu family had finally reunited.

“Bixue, thank you so much for always taking good care of him.” Mrs Lu thanked the girl.

“Lu-yi, please don’t say that.” Bixue looked at Luhan before looking back at the lady, “It’s only my job to stay by his side.”

Warmness spread through Luhan as he squeezed her hand under the table.

“What’s the two of your relationship now?” His father questioned.

“We… are together.” Luhan was still afraid of his father. “But I am not allowed to date so it had been hard on her all these while.”

Just as he had expected, his father’s expression changed and before he could rage, Mrs Lu held his hand and shook her head. Mr Lu calmed down and turned to Bixue instead.

“You should visit your father more often too.”

With the mention of her father, Bixue looked away and agreed. Luhan caught that sadness and squeezed her hand once more.

“I will accompany her to visit Uncle Zhang tomorrow.” He told his father. “And.. I will let him know about us too.”

“I’m sure your father would be happy to see you Xue.” Luhan turned to Bixue and flashed her an assuring smile that warmed up her heart instantly.

“That’s good.” Mr Lu was pleased with his son being so responsible. “Then where are you staying now?”

“I’m staying with Bixue all these while.”

“Shift back home.” His father’s voice was almost like a command.

“But.. I don’t want the fans to bother the two of you. If they find out where I stay, all of them will definitely pester or even try to enter the house. Its too dangerous for the two of you.” Luhan reasoned.

“Then what about Bixue? Will she be safe?” His mother asked worriedly.

“Bixue had already sold the house that we are staying to Laogao. Its under his name now. And everytime we enter or leave the house, we use 2 different cars so its quite safe.”

Upon hearing how tough it was for Luhan to get around, Mr and Mrs Lu decided not to pursue the issue further. They suddenly realize that it had not been easy for him all these years with the fame that he gets.

“But Luhan will stay here for the night.” Bixue interrupted without asking Luhan’s consent, causing the family to look at the girl who barely use to talk last time in surprise.

“And you will stay with him too. Its an order.” Mrs Lu smiled and teased the couple where they were both blushing. Mr Lu too, wore a faint smile for the first time that day.

After lunch, Luhan and Bixue took a walk around the house, reminiscing the old times they used to have in the Lu mansion. When they finally reached the last stop, Luhan pushed open the door into his room. Nothing had changed.

His CDs were still stacked in that same corner, his soccer ball was still sitting on his studying table and most importantly, the potrait that Bixue drew was still hanging on the wall.

“It had been so long...” Luhan looked at the potrait and smiled. With Bixue beside him, he s his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. When he first receive that potrait, he had never expected that things would turn out this way. He definitely did not expect that her scent, her warmth and her touch were all meant for him to find comfort in.

“Yea, it had been so long.” Bixue smiled as she leaned against his chest while she admired the potrait.

“Thank you for everything Xue.” He whispered and kissed her forehead gently.

Thank you for existing in my life.

This chapter seem very much like an ending but its not! We still got a peak coming right up. 

I sort of finished writing an update for this story 2 days ago but the bimbotic me wrote the wrong chapter! I wrote the next chapter instead of this. No wonder I felt weird while writing it. It was until I was about to post then I realise I skipped a chapter by accident. So yea, I spent the last 2 days writing this chapter again. 

I'm kinda hoping to end this story by 45. Or else it would be too draggy but we will see how it goes. I still have a couple of things that I had yet to clear up/write in Luhan's life.

And is there any Park Bo Gum fans out there? I'm totally smitten by him recently that I'm itching to write a fic about him.

Oh Oh! And there are a few readers who asked me to blog post about my Korean trip and I'm still thinking if I should. What do you guys think??

ENJOY THE CHAPTER!