I’m sitting here crying and I don’t know if its because I miss you or because you don’t miss me.

20^th April 2008

Right when the school bell rang, Bixue grabbed her bag and ran out of her classroom. Her classmates casted her weird looks, she was the least athletic person in their class and they were shocked at how fast she was running. However, she didn’t stop until she reached the school gate where her driver was already waiting for her. Pulling open the car door, she boarded it quickly and instructed her driver to drive home as soon as possible.

[From: Luhan]

See you later. I can’t wait to open my present. Muahahah.

Bixue smiled at his text. She remembered Chen-bo told her before how Luhan would get shy whenever people bought him presents on his birthday but weirdly, he would only demand present from her. She often complains that he only bullies her but every year without fail, she would wrap him something with a red ribbon.

However, as they grew older, Bixue had officially ran out of things to buy for him. She had replaced his spoilt pencil case when they were in middle school, bought him a new wallet 2 years ago and even knitted a scarf for him last Chrismas. It was a headache to think of her best friend’s present.

This year, she thought she should not give him anything physical but do something for him instead. After thinking for weeks, she decided on cooking his favourite dishes so it would fill a table. Although she didn’t know how to cook, she had been practicing a month ago for his birthday today. It wasn’t easy especially when she had barely stepped into the kitchen before. Despite the cuts on her fingers, she was determined to make this surprise dinner happen because she could already imagine Luhan’s eyes twinkling at the food with that big smile plastered on his face.

That expression would make a month’s worth of hardwork worth it.

“Young Mistress, we are here.”

Bixue jumped out of the car and headed to the kitchen the moment she stepped into the house. She had 3 more hours before Luhan turned up and she was panicking already.

“Young Mistress, please at least put down your school bag and change your clothes.” Bao-ma shook her head at the girl who was rummaging through the fridge for her ingredients. She had to bit back her smile at the girl’s action.

“I’ve got no time Bao-Ma!” Bixue replied as she kicked the fridge closed with her feet, her hands were filling with ingredients she needed for the dinner. “Luhan is coming in 3 hours!”

“I thought someone was upset that he didn’t call the past few days?” Bao-ma teased as she remembered how upset she was when she hadn’t heard from Luhan over the last week. The girl waited near the phone daily and when he didn’t call, she would return to her room with a slumped shoulder.

“He did. Yesterday night.” Bixue fought back. Although Luhan no longer calls her daily, he would still call her once in a while to update about Qian Ya. He would tell her everything they did together and from his words and tone of voice, she knew he was very happy. Compared to his updates, her life was dull and boring so she would just listen to him. Although she didn’t get to tell him about her stuffs, she was still very happy. At least, he was talking to her.

Shaking her head again, Bao-ma went up to get the girl’s school bag before ordering the other helpers to put it away. “You are just jealous that he is talking to other girls. Like a lover would.”

“We are just best friends Bao-ma.” No matter how Bao-ma about liking Luhan, she didn’t think that it would be love. She didn’t know what is love anyway.

“And Bao-ma. Please don’t disturb me. I need to start cooking!”

Bixue pushed Bao-ma out of the kitchen and began her preparation; slicing, marinating, frying, steaming and stir-frying. Every step was done with all of her heart and soul, pouring her best wishes for her best friend into the food.

Two and a half hour later, she tied her signature red ribbon on the candles of his cake and Luhan’s birthday dinner was all set. She smiled proudly at her hardwork before rushing back into her room to prepare herself. Wearing a simple white dress, she sat at the dining table and waited for her best friend to arrive.

The clock struck 8 and Bixue straightened her back, waiting excitedly for her best friend who would arrive anytime.

The clock then struck at 830 again and Bixue was waiting patiently for the birthday boy who was half an hour late. The candles on the cake were still unlit.

The clock struck 930 and Bixue stood up from the table and walked towards the window where she could see her front porch, wondering why the boy had yet to arrive. She called him on his phone but no one picked up.

When the clock struck 1030, Bixue decided to walk out of her house and wait for Luhan outside. She held her phone tightly in her hand as she stood outside her porch, constantly peering towards the main gate for him. He wasn’t home, and he didn’t pick up his phone. She was worried about him, wondering if something happened to him on the way here. As the hour went by, she got tired but she didn’t give up waiting for him. Luhan promised that he would come so she sat by the steps and continued waiting for her best friend.

And when the clock struck 1130, Bixue’s 50^th phonecall finally got through.

“Luhan?” She called his name worriedly. “Luhan?”

“Hello??” Luhan shouted into the phone and Bixue had to pull her phone away from her ear. The background was very noisy and he was competing with the noise. “Xue??”

“Xue? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah I can!” Bixue answered a little louder than usual, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to hear her. She pressed her hand over her chest, relieved that Luhan was safe and sound.

“I’m still at a Karaoke Room!” Luhan continued shouting, “I don’t think I can go over today!!”

“Are you ending soon? I can wait for you!”

“I don’t think so! Lao gao brought Qian Ya to surprise me! I still need to send her home later!”

“I will come another day to collect my present! They are waiting for me to sing, got to go Xue! Bye!!”

“Lu…”

The opposite end of the line went flat before Bixue could even wish him Happy Birthday and she could only stare at the phone that was in her hands with tears b up her eyes. She had waited a month for this and all she wanted was to wish him a happy birthday at least. But he didn’t even give her a chance to. Just as she wanted to text him, the clock had struck 12, signalling the end of his birthday; she was too late.

With tears rolling down her cheeks, Bixue walked back into the house. She stared at the table that was filled with his favourite food. There was no way he could collect his birthday present another day. But he probably wouldn’t know. Bixue took the plates and walked to the kitchen, emptying every dish into the rubbish bin. Till the last dish was cleared then she sat on the dining table and cried.

Luhan could told her if he didn’t want to talk to her, if he didn’t want to be friends or if he didn’t care about her anymore. It was fine with her if he told her. She would understand that he had Qian Ya now. But this moment, she was really tired of his unkept promises and waiting around for him who never seem to come.

Now she knew how scary it was to find someone that could make her happy. She starts giving him all of her attention because he was what made her forget everything bad that was going on in her life. He is the first person she wants to tell everything to. It is great to have Luhan in her life but to think how easily he could just leave her and take that happiness away when he goes, it was scary. But, it was too late.

The moment she realized she likes him, everything came to an end.

Luhan is finally 18 years old and you guys should know this is one of his important milestone in life. I can't wait to write more!

Enjoy!