Love should be a trivial thing. But with you, it’s my everything.

2^nd November 2008

Luhan walked along the familiar street, looking the other way. He used to enjoy walking Qian Ya home but today he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it because this was probably the last time he would ever get to walk her home.

There were many times that Luhan could have confessed but he didn’t had the courage to. He always thought he had many tomorrow with her but now he had to just pretend nothing ever happened between them. The dates, the teasing, the company. He really wants to hold her hand, laugh at her jokes, walk by her side, snuggle on the couch, look into her eyes, talk about everything and kiss her lips every single day.

Deep inside him, he didn’t want it to end this way but he had to pretend everything between them was never meant. He knew Qian Ya probably feels the same way as him, or she wouldn’t agree to go out with him time after time.

“Qian Ya..” Luhan stopped in his track and Qian Ya turned to look at him. The dimly lit streetlamp casted two long shadows on the road they were standing at. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“What.. what is it?” Qian Ya bit her lower lips nervously. Luhan and her had been going out for quite some time now but he still had yet to confess. As much as she likes him, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She is a girl afterall.

“I’m going to Korea and train to become a singer.” He had chose his dream and he could no longer stay in China. The love he had for Qian Ya could only stay buried in his heart. “I.. probably won’t be coming back for quite some time.”

“Oh.. really?” It took Qian Ya some time to process what he just said to her. She didn’t get to hear the words she wanted to hear the most and it struck her that maybe, she wouldn’t get to affirm his feelings for her in this life. Blinking away her tears, she was thankful for the dimly lit lamps that hid her tears so she could force out a smile. “You can sing so well, I believe you will definitely be a great singer.”

“Thank you.” Luhan swallowed hard. “Can… I hug you? Before I go?”

Upon nodding her head, Qian Ya felt her body being enveloped by him. They didn’t speak a word to one another but just stayed in each other’s arms, enjoying their first and last hug. Luhan felt Qian Ya’s hand circling around his waist and he closed his eyes, imprinting this feeling in his memory.

“When are you leaving?” Qian Ya broke the silence and asked.

“Soon.” Luhan closed his mouth before opening it again, almost saying something. Amost.

The rest of his life might have turned out differently if he had. But he didn’t.

-

Bixue stood beside Lao Gao, watching Luhan doing his check-in at the counter. Both of them didn’t speak a word to one another. The atmosphere lingering between them was bad, because both of them are watching their best friend walking away from them without knowing when will he return.

“I’m done.” Luhan appeared before them and smiled at the duo. They were the only ones who knew he would be flying off today. He didn’t tell his other friends, not even Qian Ya because being thrown out of the house to achieve this dream wasn’t something very honorable. He wanted as little people to know as possible.

“If you can, please come back and visit us whenever you can.” Lao-gao patted his shoulder and told him. He couldn’t believe that his friend signed a trainee contract without hesitation.

“I will.” Luhan hugged his best friend and patted his friend’s back as well.

“What about Qian Ya?” Lao-gao asked just when Luhan pulled away from him.

At the mention of her name, Luhan’s eyes darkened as his smile became forceful. Shaking his head, Luhan gave his reply. They wouldn’t be together and he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“And you.” Luhan took in a breath and stood in front of the girl who had been awfully quiet. Bixue hadn’t spoke a word since they stepped out of her house and he frowned at her behaviour. Leaving her alone made Luhan worry. He wasn’t sure if he could call back as often as he had during his exchange days. “Please take good care of yourself.”

Smoothing her black hair, Luhan continued. “Don’t fall sick and if you can, send me your drawings.”

“If there is anything you need help on, look for Lao-gao.”

“Xue, don’t stay so quiet anymore okay? You need to make new friends and.. go for something you like too.”

Bixue nodded her head, her tears that was welling up in her eyes fell. Luhan will go on and meet someone else and she probably would just be a chapter in his tale, but for her, he was, he is and he always will be, the whole story. Nobody could understand how much Luhan meant to her in this life. She didn’t have a mother, and her father didn’t care about her. Luhan is the only person who loves her for who she is.

“I will. I will take care of myself, I will continue to draw and I will make new friends.” Bixue wrapped her arms around him as she sobbed. Luhan nodded his head as his hands instinctively locked her in him.

“I will take care of your parents for you.” Luhan pulled away to look at Bixue, his lips quivering at the mention of his parents. “So don’t worry about them and take care of yourself in Korea.”

“Thank you Xue.” Locking her tighter in his embrace, Luhan leaned his chin on her head and closed his eyes. Till he calmed down then he pulled away from her, signallng that it was time for him to go.

“This is the first time I hear Xiao Xue talk so much.” Lao-gao broke the silence and Luhan laughed as he picked up his bag on the floor.

“Luhan.” Bixue held his hand and placed a white envelope in his hand. “Don’t open this until you leave Beijing.”

Nodding his head, Luhan held onto the white envelope in his hand tightly before taking a last look at the Bixue and Lao-gao. And slowly, he turned around to leave. Till the plane pulled away from the gate and Beijing gradually becoming smaller under his feet, then he pulled out the letter. Smiling sadly to himself, he felt touched that Bixue remembered that he was scared of heights and had problem taking flights, she must have wrote him a letter to distract him.

However, when he pulled out the letter, his hand trembled at the sight of the handwriting.

My dear son Luhan,

I’m sorry that I couldn’t send you off personally so I could only get Bixue to pass you this letter. Please forgive me for that.

All these years, your father had been very strict on you because he hopes that one day, you would be someone great and useful. Don’t blame your father for throwing you out of the house. Even though he does not show it, but deep in his heart, he really loves you. So do I.

You have been a brave boy ever since you were young, not afraid to try anything you like. So the moment you turned your back on us to go after your dreams, I know how much it means to you. As a mother, I will support you in my heart. Always.

Please stay safe in Korea. If you need anything, please get in touch with Bixue. She will come and look for me.

Luhan, the road to your dream may not be easy. But please remember, no matter what happens or what you do, don’t have regrets. If it is good, it will be a memory. If it is bad, it is an experience.

I love you.

Love,

Mother

Wiping away his tears, Luhan swallowed his cries. This would be the last time he was ever going to cry, he is a man and he has to stay strong for his mother went through great lengeth to show that she believes him.

And for Bixue, who had never stopped believing in him.

I am unsure of Luhan’s training period. I went online to search, some websites wrote April 2009 – December 2011. While some others cited that he got scouted in 2010. I don’t know how can he be offered a contract in 2009 when he is only beng scouted in 2010? LOL.

April 2009 seems believable to me so I edited the storyline a little. Luhan’s exchange was changed to 6 months so the dates could flow better. Hopefully I made a right guess.

Enjoy!