Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they’re born.

1^st April 2012

Luhan stifled back a yawn. The medicine from the flight had not fully worn off yet. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he almost couldn’t recognise himself with those professional makeup and hairdo. As much as he had gone through all these for the jacket shoot, filming of MV and debut showcase in Korea yesterday, he still could not get used to how different he looks. Looking around the backstage of their debut showcase in Beijing where everyone was busy with the 12 boys, he could not believe that all of their hardwork finally paid off. He could finally put an end to the hardship that he had been suffering and stand on the stage that he had been dreaming since he was 14. He could finally show Bixue that he did not let her down, he had worked hard like how he had promised even though they did not talk as much as they used to.

Ever since the last time that they quarrelled, Luhan and Bixue became more mindful about one another. Bixue would let Luhan know that she was busy with assignments so she did not pick up his calls but that did not stop her from missing for days or even weeks sometimes. As much as everything was going fine and there was nothing wrong with his life, he still have the heavy feeling  in his heart. It did not go away. Instead, he felt himself yearning for Bixue more than before. Every time she calls, he wished that he did not have to hang up. Every single text that she sends, he would read them over and over again till she replies with the next one. He missed her too much to forget her even for a short while.

“Hyung, I seriously think that you like her.” Sehun pulled a chair to sit beside the older boy. Pointing to his phone that had a picture of Bixue and Luhan, he continued, “You know if you can’t get someone off your mind, they are probably supposed to be there.”

“Especially its less than 1 hour away from our debut showcase and she is all that you are thinking about.”

Looking away from the picture of Bixue and him that he had set as his phone’s wallpaper, he no longer deny Sehun’s statement. For the past year, he realized that there was a place for Bixue in his heart since they first met. He didn’t know how he fell in love with her. Maybe it was the way his name sounded when she first called him when they were 10, or maybe it was the way he felt safe in her arms when he returned to Beijing last year, or maybe, just maybe, it was never a friendship between them. It was always love. He has always been in love with his best friend.

“I just want to give my all for her.” Luhan replied with a sad smile on his face. The family members of all the Exo boys came. Even the Korean members’ family flew all the way to China to support their son in achieving such an important milestone. Everyone’s family was here, except his. Despite him sending his tickets to his parents, they returned it back to the company via mail. The only comfort he had left was that Bixue is somewhere outside supporting him like she always would.

For her sake, he gave his one hundred and one percent on stage. He delivered his dance routines perfectly and sang his parts wonderfully. However, when he returned backstage, he was the only person who had no flowers, no hugs and no congratulatory messages as he watched the other members being surrounded by their family.

“Luhan.” Just when he was about to return to the resting area, he heard a familiar voice.

Turning around, he saw Laogao and Bixue standing a distance away from him with a big smile plastered across their faces.

“Are you the Luhan that I know? I can’t believe that you can move like that!” Laogao gave him a hug which caused Luhan to break into his first genuine smile that night. “Looks like you went to Korea and learn quite a lot!”

“Congratulations Luhan.” Bixue interrupted the boys and Luhan broke away from Laogao’s hug quickly. After a year, Luhan finally got to see Bixue and he lost his breath the moment he saw her looking back at him. The girl who kept him going and the girl whom he performed so hard for tonight. The girl who had unknowingly became his pillar of strength and his family.

“For you.” She handed him a bouquet of sunflowers which he took it before pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you.” Luhan choked out. Those 2 simple words meant a lot more because the things he wanted to tell her the most would lose their meaning the moment he put them into words.

“I’m so proud of you.” Bixue wrapped her arms around his waist and Luhan pressed her deeper into his embrace, pouring his one year’s worth of thoughts about her into it.

“The vans are ready! Family members please leave together with the boys. Friends, do clear the backstage!”

Upon hearing the announcement, Luhan pulled away from Bixue unwillingly. He really did not want to part with her, he still has a lot of things to tell her but he knows he has no choice.

“Laogao, send Xue home for me please.” Luhan asked Laogao urgently as the rest of the members were moving towards the exit.

“It’s okay. Xu Feng will send me home. Don’t worry about me. Just go.” Bixue comforted him but it made Luhan look up instinctively to see a man standing a distance away from them, nodding his head at him. Dragging his footsteps heavily towards the exit, he forced out a smile like he always would, helping the injured members to the van in hope that it would mask his own feelings but when he returned to the dormitory and laid in his bed, he could not hide it any longer.

He cares. He cares so much that he feels as though he will bleed to death with the pain of it. He did not want what Bixue and him had with anyone else. The thought of someone else touching her makes him sick to his stomach. He wants her, he only wants her. They had something wonderful but that something wonderful evolved into something undesirable because of his own stupidity.  Now he can only watch her fall in love with Xu Feng and there was nothing he could do. All he could think about was how could he be friends with someone he loves so much? He wanted to scream. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to tell Xu Feng that he loved her first.

Grabbing his phone, he walked to the living room as he typed in a message. He needed to hear her voice right there and right then.

[To: Xue]

Are you up?

Instantly, he received a reply.

[From: Xue]

Yupp. You can’t sleep?

[To: Xue]

Yea.

[From: Xue]

Me either.

[To: Xue]

Can I call you?

Hearing Bixue’s breathing from the other end of the line soothed Luhan’s feelings right away. The silence between them was comforting to the both of them as Luhan stayed on the line hearing her regular breathing and dwelled on his own thoughts. They didn’t have to talk, their presence was sufficient for them. Luhan did not know how long he sat on the sofa just listening to her breathe but he felt happy even though he knew from the other end of the line that she had fallen asleep.

“I’m happy to see you today.” He spoke softly into the phone, afraid that he would wake Bixue up. He imagined himself staring at her sleeping face, soothing her black hair like how he would when he was 10. He no longer had the right to do it.

“I still can’t believe that you will be getting married soon.” He choked out. Loving Bixue had always came so naturally to him that it hurts so much when he has to stop now. He can only watch them falling in love with one another and there was nothing he could do.

“I.. really didn’t like the idea of you getting married you know? I thought it was just me being selfish because I don’t like sharing my best friend with another guy, I don’t like you talking to someone else other than me and I don’t like the idea of you depending on him.”

“but when you smiled at me today.. I know I couldn’t risk losing you.”

“I love you Xue. I know it the moment I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up.”

“I… just got stuck.  I really wish I could turn back time to tell you all these but I know its all too late.”

Closing his eyes painfully, Luhan let the tears that he had been holding back the whole evening fall.

Yet again, he had to watch the only thing that could ever make him happy slowly slip out of his sight.

Finally! Our slow Lulu realized his feelings. I guess many of you must be tired of them not being able to know each other right. Now that our Luhan finally realized it, he confessed! But Bixue's asleep. Better than never right? Kudos to my proofreader who thought of this! 

This story may end earlier than what I expect but don't worry, we still got quite a lot more to go since Luhan just debuted!

Enjoy!