Woohyun Recap:

After staying in the hospital Woohyun went to live with his brother Boohyun in Seoul. Boohyun is a chef who owns his own restaurant. He left unable to see the members who were in the hospital.

I played with the hem of my sweatshirt as I stared at the red painted door that seemed to doom in front of me.

I was being stupid again? Wasn’t I?

I quickly formed a fist and before I could talk myself out once again I quickly banged on the door. The door let out a loud creak and I wonder if I had knocked too hard.

Seconds had past as I stared at the door for any signs of movement.

No one was home.

I should have came earlier or later.

I was about to turn away and head back to my brother’s car when the door open.

I was expecting to see the round face that had woken me up on most days but instead I was met with a pale slim face. Her black hair was placed into a messy bun which matched her sweat suit outfit.

“Yes?” she answered raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“I ah yes I’m here to see Gonam,” I unsurely said wondering if I was at the right door.

“Oppa can’t come to the door right now,” she told me crossing her arms.

I stood on my tippy toes trying to see past her. “He’s here?”

“You’re Woohyun?” she asked me as she bit the corner of her lip.

“You know me? Ahh you know Infinite.” I replied shaking my head. “Who are you?”

She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “I'm Gonam's girlfriend. We met once at a concert.”

I could feel my cheeks turn red as I tried to recall the moment. Gonam never admitted to anyone that he was dating someone.

“Oh we did! Now I remember!” I lied. “So you know that Gonam is in charge of Infinite and I would like to see him.”

“Nope,” she answered sternly.

“What?” I asked dropping my smile.

“I’m sorry but Oppa isn’t having any visitors at the moment. I hope you understand,” she informed me as she pushed a strand of her hair away from her face.

“But I don’t think you understand. I’m Woohyun from Infinite! He would want to see me,” I argued feeling the frustration creeping up.

“I’m sorry but he can’t see you right now,” she told me as she looked back into the house.

“Bu-“

“I have to go. It was nice to see you again Woohyun,” she replied with a fake smile.

“Wai-“

The door slammed shut cutting off my words.

“Aish!” I yelled throwing my fist through the air in frustration.

I was hoping that I could get some answers that would solve my questions. Of course I also wanted to see Gonam too but the questions kept on nagging my brain all day long.

“No luck?” a deep voice asked.

“He's out,” I whipped around with a smile on my face.

“Come on lets head home,” my brother told me as he turned to head back to the car.

“Actually there was one more place I would like to go,” I called after him.

He would have laughed at me for making my brother drive me places all day long like a manager. Although I knew secretly he didn't hate it when other people took care of him.

“Woohyun?” a voice called behind me.

I turn around to see Hyowan running towards me with black grocery bags in his hand.

“Oh hey,” I smiled brightly at the manager. It had only been a week since I left the hospital but I still missed Hyowan.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as soon as he reached me.

“I was going to see Sunggyu-Hyung,” I told him as my eyes scanned Hyowan’s slim face. Although it looked as if he hadn't showered in days he looked better than before.

“Oh,” Hyowan frown as he resituated the bags in his hands.

“Are those for Sunggyu-Hyung?” I asked looking at the bags. “Did he ask you to get those for him?”

“Oh yeah-“

“It’s all junk food isn’t it?  Here give it to me I’m going to go see him anyways,” I reached out for the bags but Hyowan pulled it away.

I gave him a quizzical look as I tried to grab the bags again but Hyowan slapped my hand away.

“Didn’t Jungryu talk to you?” Hyowan sighed as he ran his free hand through his greasy hair.

My heart skipped a beat, “What happen? I thought he was doing better?”

“Whoa he’s fine,” Hyowan's words sent waves of relief throughout my body. “It’s just that he doesn’t want to see anyone right now.”

“Yeah but it’s me,” I pointed out smiling.

“Woohyun he barely lets me into the room,” Hyowan admitted.

My smile dropped, “But it’s me if you just tell him I’m here. I’m sure he'll want to see me.”

“Sorry Woohyun. I’ll let him know you came by though,” Hyowan told me as he tried to pass by.

“Wait,” I grabbed his arm stopping him. “Just ask him please. I’m sure he will want to see me.”

“Woohyun....how are you doing?” Hyowan ignored my question and tilted his head to the side.

“W-what?” I sputtered out suddenly thrown off by the random question.

“Are you still staying with your brother?” Hyowan asked casually as if I wasn’t just begging to see my best friend seconds ago.

“Are you eating well?” he asked me smiling widely.

“I-I’m doing fine. Well actually I have some questions about the car accident,” I admitted.

“There isn’t really anything else to be said about tha-“

A sharp ringing coming from his pocket stopped his words.

“Just a moment,” he told me as he balanced the bags and reached in his pocket.

“He-…..Yes…..I will be there in a couple moments. I’m here with Woohyun...I know....I will be there in a moment okay,” Hyowan hanged up the phone.

“Was that Sunggyu-Hyung?” I asked staring at the phone in his hand.

“I better get going. Take care of yourself Woohyun and I’m sure you can visit Sunggyu some other time. Don't worry this will all get better with some time,” Hyowan told me as he walked past.

“Hyung!” I called after him making him stop in his tracks. “J-Just tell him I say hello.”

“I’ll tell him,” Hyowan informed me then he walked away leaving me there with my thoughts.

I let out a sigh as I turned away and started to make my way back to the side entrance. I placed my sun glasses on and my hood up to defect any unwanted glances.

I knew Sunggyu was okay but my feelings wouldn't be put to ease until I saw the grumpy leader who happen to become one of my greatest friends.

Our friendship snuck up on us throughout the years of rooming together. We had fought and most of it had to do with our positions in the group. We were both the lead singer and both fighting for the same lines in songs. Sure there were sometimes when I wanted to hit the other singer and maybe just once or twice I tried. Everything changed after we debut and the real pressure of being an idol finally set in. I soon realized that Sunggyu was one of the most reliable Hyungs. The days the anti-fans comments became too great Sunggyu was always there to talk to me in the middle of the night. We would both be beyond exhausted from whatever we had schedule that day but Sunggyu always had time to listen to my random rants. Now that we were all apart it made me realize how much I leaned on my bandmates. Being by myself was awkward and it was almost like missing a limb.

I had tried all morning to get in contact with the rest of the members but everyone seemed to have their phones off.

I could feel the phone in my pocket vibrate reminding me that Boohyun was waiting for me. He only had an hour before his restaurant opening and I was sure we’ve been out for more than that.  I knew there was one more place I wanted to visit but I couldn’t not right now and not by myself.

The cold air hit against my skin sending shivers throughout my body. My iPhone's bright light clashed against the darkness.

I re-read over the words once again before I pressed the grey button that read tweet on it. I heard a ding as I knew my words were going to be read by thousands of fans soon enough.

“You’re not going to jump are you?” came a snarky voice behind me.

“Kibum!” I shouted in surprise covering my heart.

“Shh! Do you want to wake up the whole of Seoul,” Kibum scolded. “Why is it so dark here anyways? Don’t you have lights up here?”

“Hold on?” I quickly ran over to the corner of the roof and ran my hands on the wall until I felt a cold metal box. I forcefully flipped up the switch which gave power to the Christmas lights that decorated the walls. I could see Key standing there wearing a bright red plaid short sleeve button up with a black tee shirt underneath. His black knitted hat was placed perfectly so the label was showing in case of any photos were taken by the paparazzi.

All Idols were brain washed eventually to become a walking billboard. It wasn’t a bad thing just something we all became accustomed to.

“What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be at SM practicing or on some show with Shinee?” I asked worried that Kibum was causing trouble once again.

“Let see I haven’t seen my friend in a month and he doesn't know how to answer the phone. I had to check if you’re still alive,” Kibum retorted.

“I’ve been busy,” I sighed already tired of talking.

“You’re so busy that you’re spending all your free time on a rooftop in the dark,” Kibum scoffed.

I shifted uncomfortably. “It’s quiet up here.”

I had been standing here for hours but it felt as if I had just walked up here to get away from the clanking of Boohyun’s restaurant.

“Now this is really getting depressing. Come on go grab your tightest skinny jeans because we’re going to a party,” Kibum told me placing his hands on his hips.

“I can’t dance,” I muttered looking at the floor.

“This is coming from one of the members of the most in synch groups out there,” Kibum pointed out.

“Why are you doing this?” I questioned as I stared him up and down.

Kibum was my friend but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to hit him sometimes.

“Because you need to stop moping around. Now let’s go before you damper my wonderful mood,” Kibum grabbed my arm to lead me down stairs.

I pulled away from him. “Stop it!”

My voice made Kibum take a step backwards. I had yelled at Kibum in a joking kind of way but I’ve never really yelled at him before.

“I don’t want to go can’t you understand! Sungjong is dead! I don’t even know what the rest of the members are doing right now. Everyone keeps telling me that it's going to be okay but I just want everyone to leave me alone!”

Quietness took over the rooftop as I took a deep breath to calm my anger.

“You’re lying,” Kibum finally told me.

“Lying?” I replied shocked.

“You don’t want to be alone because I wouldn’t want to be alone if-“

I interrupted him, “If one of your members died. If Minho died during dream team-“

He injured himself once but dream team isn’t like jumping into a foam pit full of sharks,” Key retorted.

“What if Jonghyun died in that car accident,” I pointed out.

“But he didn’t and even better he was able to rest and play while the rest of us had to work which was totally unfair if you ask me,” Kibum sulked as he thought about it.

“What if Jinki got squished by the light fixture at music bank-“

“Then there would be more chicken in the world,” Kibum retorted with a smile.

“Shut up!” I yelled again but this time Kibum didn’t flinch at my voice.

“What if Taemin died huh? What if the one member you didn’t think would disappear just leaves without any warning. What if you never got to say sorry for all the teasing? You didn’t get a chance to guide him through life troubles like a Hyung should,” I swallowed hard begging the tears to stay put.

Key frowned as he crossed his arms. “I would be pissed. Pissed at everyone and honestly I would be moping around the house like you. You would yell at me and take me shopping or whatever to make me feel better,” Kibum told me honestly.

“But it’s not you it’s me,” I pointed out.

”We both know you need me,” Key pointed out almost arrogantly. “Plus I’m not doing this just for you. No I’m doing this for your fans, Infinite, and the whole of Korea. No one wants to see a pathetic Woohyun.”

“Pathetic?”

“You’ve had a week to mope around the house. If Sungjong was alive he would tease you for being such a girl. Don’t argue with me you know it’s true,” Kibum insisted.

“Excuse me?”

Did Kibum just come to insult me?

“I’m sorry but if I don’t push you no one will. I’m sorry that something beyond tragic happen to you. But moping around won’t make you feel any better. So let’s go out and the next time we can sit around and talk about our feelings,” Kibum stated.

“Kibum I shouldn’t be out right now. What if the paparazzi catch us? The fans would be disappointed in me,” I pointed out.

“Screwed the fans well just for this moment. You do realize our job ends when we leave the stage and the cameras are off of us. We’re not Gods as much as the fans think we are. We’re allowed to have fun especially you right now in this moment,” Kibum pointed out as he took off his hat to fix his hair.

I stood there in silence taking in his words. I loved my fans even the ones who got a little crazy when they saw us. I loved how they screamed by a simple jester of throwing a hearts or making a heart with one of the members. 

“I’m not going to dance,” I answered simply.

I could already hear the pounding of music as we stepped out of Kibum's car.

I straighten my jacket as I nervously looked at the giant house that stood in front of me.

Why was I so nervous? It wasn’t as if I hadn’t been to a chaebol party before. I usually tried to stay away from the socialite parties which were usually filled with other chaebols, models, and random idols. Last time I went to a chaebol party Hoya and Sungyeol got into a fight with a chaebol who happen to think he was better than idols.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked Kibum as we reached the door.

“Just for a couple hours then we can leave. Don’t worry Onew-Hyung knows the person throwing the party and he says that he’s cool,” Kibum reassured me as he open the door.

Some random dubstep song was playing loudly as Kibum and I made our way into the huge house. The house was nothing less then what I would except from a chaebol. High ceilings and expensive paintings crowded the walls. There were no family photos but there never were in any chaebols house.

“KEY!” someone screamed loudly as a short slightly chubby man came into view. He was wearing all the expensive labels but yet it still didn’t look right on him.

“Oh hey Hyung,” Kibum greeted him with a bow.

I could already tell that this man wasn’t close with Kibum. We only use our stage names on camera or in front of fans.

“Who is this?” the man eyes scanned me up and down. No doubt looking for any signs of importance such as expensive clothes or accessories.

“This is Woohyun. Woohyun this is Jinho,” Kibum introduced us.

“Oh hello,” I smiled falsely as I bowed.

“Oh you’re an idol right?” he asked as he squinted at me.

“Yes,” I replied already done with the conversation. All I wanted to do was be back at Boohyun apartment.

“I’ve seen you before. Where have I seen you before? Is your group popular?” he asked dumbfounded.

“Infinite,” a female voice popped out of nowhere.

That’s was when I notice the slightly short girl standing in the corner of the room. Her black Muse shirt hanged off her body which clashed with her sky blue leggings and black combat boots. Her black hair had swirls of purple which was placed into a messy bun.

 She looked as if she didn’t belong especially not at this party.

“Infinite…..OH you’re the guy whose member died?” he answered clapping his hands together as if he just got a joke.

“Yeah I’m that guy,” I smiled widely but all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.

“Well let’s get you a beer,” Jinho said leading us down the hallway.

I shoot an I’m-going-to-kill-you look at Kibum who gave me apologetic smile. 

We walked down the hallway leading towards a large living room area that was full of pretty people and loud music.

“Here,” Jinho said placing a glass in my hand.

“Thanks!” I smiled as I looked around for a place to quietly dispose of it.

“Key!!” a girl screamed as she made her way through the crowd. She was wearing a nice black dress and bright red high heels. Her hair was slick back in a high pony tail which made her look even more clean cut.

“Ah Minji,” Kibum smiled as he hugged the girl.  It wasn’t a romantic hug or anything like that just a hug between friends.

“Your late,” she whined as soon as she and Kibum separated.

“It took me a while to drag this one out of my house,” Kibum nodded in my direction.

She turned her head as if she finally noticed that someone else was standing next to her. “Oh hi I’m Minji,” she greeted me as she slightly bowed.

“Hello I'm Nam Woohyun,” I smiled as I bowed.

“Key I need to speak to you,” she eyed me. “In private if you don’t mind.”

Kibum looked back at me then back to Minji who was bouncing on her feet waiting for a reply.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” I told him sternly.

“Are you sure,” he asked me unsurely.

“Go I’ll be right here when you get back,” I reassured him.

“Rea-“

“Let’s go! Miah totally needs your help,” Minji told Kibum as she led him through the crowd. Kibum turned his head looking at me unsurely but I just nodded giving him one of my famous smiles.

Of course the moment Kibum left my sight my stomach dropped. My eyes scanned the packed living room looking for someone familiar.

Everyone’s eyes kept on glancing up at me as if I was about to pop a magical unicorn out of my .

I should have been used to judging eyes but this was different. It was almost as if they were looking at me with sympathy.

A wave of dizziness passed over me as the room started to slowly sway. My heart started to beat faster as my body started to heat up. My mouth was beginning to salivate and I knew what was going to come next.

I dropped my glass on a nearby table ignoring Jinho shots of protest as I sprinted towards the door.

The cold air hit my face making my whole body go numb. I grabbed a hold of the porch railing bracing myself for the next wave to pass over me.

Deep breaths.

In and out.

It had been a while since I've had a panic attack and I had long forgotten to take my pills.

Slowly my heart started to slow down as the constant waves of dizziness stopped.

I could hear the front door open as someone walked onto the porch.

I took another deep breath hoping whoever it was would go away.

Something hit the back of my leg making me jump slightly.

“Kibum I’ll be back in a second I just needed to take a breath,” I sighed trying to stop my shaky hands.

“Who is Kibum?” a female voice asked behind my shoulder making me jump.

I lifted my head to see the out of place girl standing next to the railing holding a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in one hand.

“Sorry I thought you were someone else,” I told her taking a step away from her. “I should go inside.”

I turn away to run back inside of the house but then she spoke again.

“Stay.”

“What?” I asked turning around to look at the girl who was already lighting up a cigarette.  It was almost unnatural to see a girl smoking since the only girls that I was surrounded by were older hair and make-up Noonas that were already married with children. There were also girl groups but managers heavily guarded them whenever around male idols. Finding time to meet a girl in private while being an idol was almost impossible.

“I said stay. Are you deaf or something?” she remarked as she flicked her cigarette sending orange embers to the ground.

“I uh…”

“Or are you mute but I swear I heard you speak before?” she asked as she placed the cigarette up to .

“I can speak and I can hear but the more important question is why do you want me to stay out here with you? Is it because I’m famous?” I remarked because it wasn't the first time someone wanted to hang out with Infinite just because of their status.

She coughed and at first I thought it was from the smoke but I soon realized she was laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked angrily.

It was a first time in a while since I was being tease, last time was when Sungjong-

“Do you always tell strangers about how famous you are?” she spitted out.

“Only the ones who are annoying as you,” I retorted.

“Feisty,” she smirked as she threw the bud of her cigarette to the ground and stomped her heel into it. “You can stay out here with me. You’re more entertaining than most of the people in that house.”

“Most of those people are too busy showing off their money to care about being entertaining,” I pointed out. “Which brings me to this question why are you here?”

“You haven’t been to one of these parties before?” she questioned me.

“They're not really my taste,” I admitted looking at the door wondering if I should go back to the party. Key would notice eventually that I was gone and come looking for me.

“I bring the fun,” she reached in her pocket and brought up a small bag that contained one single white pill. For a second I was confused to why a girl would carry around a pill in a plastic bag. Then her words slowly replayed itself in my head.

She brings the fun.

She brings the pills to the party so chaebols can be reckless. It made my skin crawl standing this close by something that could ruin my image. I heard horror stories about idols being mixed up in drugs even some of them being sentence to jail.

People like me can’t be put in jail.

I wouldn't be able to survive one day with a face like mine.

“L-listen I need to go,” I sputtered out taking a step backwards.

She rolled her eyes as she placed the little bag back in her pocket. “It’s not a bomb.”

“It’s not that,” I replied eyeing her pocket. “Stuff like that could ruin my career.”

“But you don’t have a career anymore...right?”

My head started to turn from those simple words.

“I might not be singing right at this moment but I’m still an idol,” I snapped at her.

Then she did the last thing I thought she would do in a situation like this she started laughing loudly.

“What are you laughing about,” I asked angrily now regretting going inside when I could.

“Don’t you realize how much of a robot you are? I know you can sing but isn’t it tiring being controlled every second of your day? I bet this is the first time in a while your let off of your leash isn’t it?”

I rubbed the nape of my neck than looked at her. “I have never worn a collar or been on a leash before.”

“I don’t mean literally! I thought all idols were supposed to be smart or something like that,” she snapped.

I was already fed up with the girl and I've only been speaking to her for mere minutes.

“Listen I rather not deal with this right now,” I told her as I started my way towards the porch stairs.

“Hey robot,” she screamed. I turned around in time to see something thrown in my direction. My hands grabbed the plastic bag that she had shown me earlier.

“I don’t want this!” I told her almost in a panic holding it back for her.

“Relax it’s nothing too strong and it's totally legal well that is if you have a prescription,” she joked. “If you like it or you want some more good times just come find me. My name is Choi Hyojin you can find me at Club Z.”

“Like I would come looking for you,” I snapped.

“You’ll come eventually,” she told me with a knowing smile.

I let out a grunt of disgust as I walked down the stairs away from the booming of music.

Silence filled my ears as I sat on the cold ground of Boohyun's apartment rooftop. It had taken almost an hour to make it back by foot instead of taking a ten minute bus ride. Since the accident our faces had been airing on news stations making even non- inspirits recognize us.

Sungjong's death had brought the harsh reality of sasaengs into light. A couple years ago the government had set up an advice center for artists who were having a hard time coping with their fame.

 We all knew that this wasn’t enough for fans who had taken their love to the next step.

Sungjong would be happy in a way to know that his death is going to help fans and even some artists.

But it wasn’t right.

No someone shouldn’t have to die before something like this gets fix.

A buzzing noise from my pocket broke through my thoughts making me forget all about the sasaengs.

“Hello,” I answered.

“NAM WOOHYUN!” I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear. “I have been looking for you for the past twenty minutes! Then Hyojin tells me you left!”

“Yeah I walked home,” I admitted which wasn't the smartest thing to tell Kibum.

“YOU WHAT!” Kibum scolded me.

“Kibum it's almost midnight,” I whined.

"I didn't ask you for the time! Nam Woohyun do you ever realize that sometimes you’re the biggest !?"

I sighed not really ready to hear Kibum nag me until my ears fall off.

“Everyone was staring at me,” I told him thinking back to that smoky and alcohol filled room. “And I just had to get out of there.”

I heard Kibum take a deep breath. “Okay next time just tell me when you want to leave. What if something bad happen to you? You’re members would kill me then my members would rebel then it would cause a fan war. Do you really want a fan war against ShaWol and Inspirits?”

A fan war was the last thing I wanted right now.

“You’re right,” I sighed defeated.

“Damn right I’m right,” Kibum told me.

I could hear Kibum slow breaths in-between the sounds of cars whizzing by.

“Listen,” he suddenly said. “Manger Gyeongshik is threating to throw away my clothes if I don't head back to the dorm. I'll come visit you in a couple weeks when my schedule is clear. Then we can watch melodramas or listen to ballads. Whatever you want okay?"

“I’ll be fine,” I replied with a fake smile.

“Woohyun?”

“What?”

“Don’t do that thing that you always do when you’re angry or upset.”

“What thing?” I asked still trying to sound happy.

“Faking it till you start feeling better. You can’t do that with this situation. Just don’t bottle it all up or else it’s not going to be pretty,”

“I won’t” I let my smile fall.

“Promise”

“I promise.”

“AISH! Not my jacket from England! I got to go!”

I was about to placed my phone back into my coat pocket when I heard the beeping.  I looked down to see I had gotten three hundred notifications on my newly posted tweet.

My hand slipped back into my other pocket and I roughly grabbed out the little baggie.

What was so special about this?

Why did people fight and even die for this thing.

It seemed stupid but yet it made me curios.

My phone let out out another beeping sound as if it was yelling for my attention.

Then I did the two stupidest things I had ever done before. Even the time I dressed up like a girl on a variety show or all the times I had to do skinship with Sunggyu Hyung.

I bit open the plastic bag ignoring the seal because I knew if I took time opening it I would have changed my mind. Pieces of plastic and the small pill filled my mouth then I did the last stupid thing.

I swallowed it.

My eyes looked down at my phone screen and I let out a fake almost crazy smile.

“Hello this is Infinite’s Woohyun.

The past few days have been tough but your love for Infinite is making it bearable. Please stay strong for Infinite and Sungjong. Sungjong even though you can't read this I know you would hit me and make fun of me for posting this. I just wished we could have played more before everything. Even though the hyungs tease you a lot we still care about our lemon candy Sungjong. If you wake up I promise I won't tease you as much or drown you in aegyo. Just wake up."

Vocab:

Twitter: A social networking site and also a microblogging service.

Kibum: Also known as Key. Member of Shinee in which he sings, raps, and dances. Key is known for being very outgoing and the diva of Shinee. He is also very good friends with Woohyun.

Shinee: R&B group under SM Entertainment that formed in 2008. The group contains five members Onew, Minho, Kibum, Jonghyun, and Taemin.

Minho: Discovered in 2006 by S.M casting he was then chosen to debut in Shinee as the main rapper. Minho is known for being very competitive and athletic.

Dream Team: A South Korean reality variety sports show. The show consists of different teams, artists, idols, and actors competing against each other in various physical and mental contests. Minho won a car on dream team by beating everyone in an obstacle course.  Here is the video if you want to watch it: Click Here.

Jonghyun: He is the lead singer of Shinee and was casted by S.M in 2005.  He loves to joke around with the members and he’s not afraid to speak his mind.

Jonghyun's Accident: On April first Jonghyun ran into the guard rails on Dongho Bridge while returning to the dorms from visiting home. He didn’t suffer major injuries, but he was hurt around his nose and missed the promotions of “Why So Serious”.

Jinki: Also known as Onew. He is the leader and main singer of Shinee and was casted by SM in 2006. He’s known for his “Onew condition” which is when he is being clumsy or doing dorky things. He also had a deep love for chicken and here is a  video of his love for chicken click here. 

Music Bank Accident: On June 27^th 2009 at the end of Music Bank while Idols were leaving a large light fixture started to fall down. A couple of the idols along with staff members pushed the fixture back into place. It was reported that Onew fainted after seeing the lights coming at him while other people reported that the tower actually hit Onew’s chest. Although we will never truly know why happen and why it happen.

The video of the accident can be seen here. It’s a fan cam so I would turn down your volume. 

Taemin: The lead dancer of Shinee and also the Maknae. He joined SM when he was only 12 years old then when he was 16 he debut. When he first debut Taemin was bullied by his classmates. Throughout the years Taemin has grown up in front of everyones eyes. Now he is much more than a dancer but also a great singer. You can check out him singing in immortal song: Here

Chaebol: Usually a large business that is owned by one family. For example look at Secret Garden (TV show) Kim Joo Won. Also Hyun Ki Joon in Lie to Me (TV show).

Panic Attack: Is a type of anxiety disorder in which you feel as if something bad is about to happen. Panic attacks can last for minutes or even hours. Symptoms of a panic attack includes accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, nausea, feeling light headed, hot flashes and more. During an interview Woohyun mention being claustrophobic which can lead to panic attacks.

Women Smoking:  In Korea smoking as a woman is look down upon. You can read this article about a women smoker living in Korea: Here

Inspirits: Infinite fanbase name.

ShaWols: Short for SHINeeworld and they are Shinee's fanbase. 

Sasaengs: I’m not going to call these people fans because they’re not. Sasaeng fans have made it their life goal to be noticed by their bias or idol group even if that means hurting them.  They are known for stalking idols and even sneaking into their dorm rooms. They even pay taxis to chase after their idols which results in car accidents.

Skinship: It is used describe intimacy and closeness between mother and child although today it’s used for bonding through physical contact. Such as hugging or holding hands.

Author Notes:

Sorry about not posting sooner. This week I have been struggling with getting enough sleep which actually resulted in me over sleeping my alarm twice. So instead I made this chapter really long! I know this chapter seems kind of crazy but when something as tragic as death happens people can do crazy things. It always gets worse before it gets better

Also do you guys like the vocab section or should I stop doing it? There is a couple stories in which I'm totally lost when they use Korean words or rreferences so I added a vocab section to help you guys out. Just please let me know if I should keep it or stop doing it.

Also I just want to let you guys know I'm really enjoying writing this story and it’s all due to you the readers. If it wasn’t for the comments or the subscribers I would have given up a while ago. So thank you!