I’m going to die.
Oh god I’m really going to die.
The whole world was swaying like one of those awful carnival rides. My whole body was full of shivers even though I was surrounded by blankets.
I slowly open my eyes but as soon as I did a bright light blinded me.
Oh god.
I groan as I wrapped the blankets tightly around my body
Oh god.
I let out another groan as I rolled onto my side.
What happened?
Was I hit by a car?
No.
Oh god what happen last night. I ran my hand through my hair as I let out another moan.
“Are you dead,” Hyojin asked me.
“Yes,” I moaned keeping my eyes shut.
“I brought you something,” Hyojin told me.
“I don’t want it,” I whined rolling over again so my face was now resting on the wall.
“It’s not drugs, come on it'll help,” she informed me as she pulled back the covers.
I let out a groan as I slowly opened my eyes. It was too bright and it took a while for my eyes to finally adjust.
Hyojin was sitting next to me wearing a large tee shirt that hanged off her shoulder. Her greasy hair was placed in a messy bun. You could clearly see dark circles under her eyes which made me wonder what I looked like.
“You look like death,” Hyojin told me as if she read my mind.
“I feel like death,” I murmured holding onto my forehead.
“Here this will help,” she handed me a cup. I gave her a questionable look. “It’s not drugs or anything like that.”
I took it from her grasp and began to drink the brown liquid. The cold slimy liquid slid down my throat making me want to throw up. I let out a gag but I was still able to swallow it completely.
"What was that?" I groan as I wiped my mouth with the corner of my sleeve.
"My grandfather's medication," Hyojin answered simply.
"Oh okay...wait WHAT?" I shouted making my own head pound.
Hyojin simply shrugged.
"Isn't that dangerous? What if I die or worse," I shudder thinking about all the side effects you could get by mishandling medication.
"Don't be such a girl," Hyojin rolled her eyes as she slapped my arm.
"Ouch," I said as I rubbed my now red arm.
"Believe me you'll be thanking me later," she pointed out.
I rolled my eyes at the comment then threw the blanket over my head.
Five more minutes.
"Oh no you don't!"  Hyojin shouted then ripped the blanket off of my head.
"Whyyy!" I wined kicking my feet.
"Someone is here to see you!" She shouted catching my interest.
"What?" I asked sitting up quickly almost bumping my head against Hyojin.
"Careful," she scolded me.
"Who is it? Is it my brother?" I asked the panic already creeping in my voice.
It's been four days since I left my brothers apartment, lying that I would be at the dorm. I was really planning on going to the dorm but then I remembered that Sungjong's belongings would be there. I couldn't be there by myself so I ran. I ran so hard that I didn't even realize I had run right to Hyojin. I wasn't ready to go home and deal with the looks.
"I don't know his name but he keeps calling you his hyun," she said playing with her hair.
No.
It was worse than I thought.

I never thought I wouldn't want to see one of my best friends. Kibum was an idol just like me so it made it impossible to hang out. Either one of us would have a schedule or would be resting for the next schedule. The days we by chance met up it felt as if no time had gone by. We would spend most of the day shopping or watching funny videos on Kibum’s computer. More importantly it was nice having someone besides Infinite members to talk to. But right now meeting up like this wasn’t what I wanted.
He was standing with his arms crossed and his nose up in the air.  He was looking at the kitchen table where last Tuesday’s black bean noodles.
"Kibum?" I called for him.
His eyes shot in my direction replacing that disgusted look to a look of relief but that soon changed to something else.
Smack.
I grabbed ahold of my pounding cheek as I looked at Kibum teary eyed.
"W-what was that for?" I sputtered out.
"Be happy that's all I did," he snapped.
“You didn’t have to hit me so hard!” I snapped raising my hand up but instantly dropped it when I saw his face.
“Your brother has been looking for you! He keeps on calling me leaving me these long crazy messages. He even came to the dorm thinking that I hid you under my bed or something. Even your managers are trying to get in contact with you. Come on let’s go back to the dorms or Boohyun’s apartment,” he told me as he grabbed my hand.
I ripped my hand from his grasp as I took a step back, “No I'm not going back.”
“Come on Woohyun stop being a brat and come back to the dorm with me,” Kibum said.
“No,” I replied crossing my arms.
“So what you’re going to stay here?” he asked shocked looking around at the messy apartment.
“Yes I am," I replied confident with my decision.
"You rather stay with a druggie than your own family?" Kibum pointed out harshly.
“She’s not a druggie," I argued.
"Do you want to know how I found you?”  He poked me in the arm. "I had to go through her drugged out clients to find you. Woohyun I know you’re dealing with some but this is not the way to do it," Kibum scolded me.
"She not a druggie she just...um-"
"Sells drugs?" Kibum interrupted me.
"What does it matter to you?" I asked clenching my fist.
"Because unlike you I still view you as a friend," Kibum argued back.
"What does that mean?” I snapped back.
“It means that you’re too busy getting high or drunk or whatever you do here to even call back your brother or me!” Kibum voice sounded strange as if in any moment he would start crying.
“You don’t understand,” I sighed.
“Then tell me,” Kibum pounded his chest.
“It doesn’t matter you can’t understand it!” I shouted because even I don’t understand.
“But she does?” Kibum asked pointing to the hallway.
“Shh!” I didn’t want Hyojin to overhear him.
“Are you kidding me? You're going to protect her even though she’s done nothing for you! This is the last time I’m asking you to come with me,” Kibum snarled.
“I told you before I’m staying here,” I replied.
“Fine but if your brother calls me again I’m not going to lie for you,” Kibum threaten.
“Good!” I snapped.
“Fine! Call me when you come back to your senses,” Kibum then stomped out of the apartment.
I stood there trying to calm my mind. I wanted to run after Kibum and apologize but my pride wouldn’t let me move an inch.
“He left?” Hyojin came into the kitchen.
“How much did you hear?” I asked taking a seat on top of sacks of old magazines.
“Just a little,” she admitted as she pulled out a cigarette.
“I’m going to stay here,” I said more to myself then to Hyojin.
“Good for you,” she said dully as she lit her cigarette.
“Do you even want me here?” I asked not sure if I wanted to hear the truth from Hyojin.
“I’m used to living alone so having you around isn’t too bad,” she admitted then took a drag of her cigarette.
“Come on you love having me here,” I cocked my head looking at her.
“Oh okay I love having you here!” Hyojin wrapped her arm around my shoulder and with her empty hand patted my head.
“Ya!” I shouted as I pushed her away.
“Come on get dress we got to go for a run,” Hyojin told me.
“Again,” I whine.
“Do you want to live on the streets? I’m sure some homeless man would love to manhandle you or else you could go live at home aga-”
“OKAY! I’ll get dress,” I told her as I stood up.
Home was the last place I wanted to go.

Going for a run had a different meaning now with Hyojin.
“Don’t get out of the car and don’t talk to anyone,” Hyojin said unbuckling herself.
I nodded as I placed my feet on the dashboard.  I always waited in the car but I didn’t mind.
No one besides Hyojin would want to run into a building full of low life gangsters.
The first time I came here I felt on edge but now it feels like we’re going grocery shopping.
I never thought I would say that about drugs but as long as I didn’t get involved then I was happy living with Hyojin.
Two giggling school girls walked across the street catching my attention, it wasn’t that these girls were beautiful because they looked normal. It was what one of the girls was carrying that got my attention. The backpack was dirty and contained a couple of stains but still a black Infinite symbol was as vivid as ever.
I felt proud that Inspirits hadn’t forgotten us. I missed doing fan service. I missed making people smile.
I unbuckled my seatbelt not thinking much about how I looked.
“Are you going somewhere?” Hyojin asked as she opened the door.
“Ah no,” I replied re-buckling.
“Let’s get out of here,” Hyojin turn on the car then pulled out of the parking lot.
“Hungry?” Hyojin asked as she turned down a street.
“Starving,” I smiled but it soon dropped when I saw something.
The girl with the Infinite bag was now holding a light blue bag. She looked happy as she threw the old Infinite backpack into the trash. Then she placed the new bag over her shoulder and ran after her friend.
“Actually I’m more thirsty than hungry,” I admitted.

Yes I’m very drunk and that’s fine.
Oh my god I want some fried chicken.
I should ask my bum if he can steal some chicken from Onew.
Oh yes that sounds like a wonderful idea!
“I’m going to steal s-some chicken,” I slurred my words together.
I stared at myself in the mirror and came to one conclusion. “You Nam Woohyun are a king!”
I laughed as I pushed myself away from sink. My back slammed roughly against the bathroom’s wall but I didn’t care.
“Let’s go home and have some chicken,” I mumbled to myself as I started to make my way to the door.
There were only a handful of people that were still hanging around the house and most of them were either sleeping or making out with someone.
“Chickenchickenchicken,” I mumbled to myself as I quickly made my way to the door avoiding stepping on sleeping bodies on the ground.
The cold air hit my hot face sending shivers down my spine. A small part of my brain knew that going home like this wasn’t a smart idea but my mind was in a haze.
“Chicken home chicken,” I mumbled to myself as I swayed back and forth.
The streets that were usually busy were now empty which I would be thankful for later on. I took a step forward but somehow my foot was caught in an invisible rope and I tumbled to the ground.
I laughed at myself as I rolled onto my back.
“Chicken!” I shouted which cause someone to shout something from their window.
“Chicken,” I groan as I forced myself to sit up. I look down at my hands that were now bloody and raw.
I smiled.
I couldn’t feel a thing.
Everything felt numb even my thoughts felt numb as if I was dreaming.
My stomach growled reminding me that I was on a quest for chicken.
After a couple tries I was finally able to get to my feet.
“Chicken,” I shouted again and started to quickly walk towards the closest fast food restaurant. The managers barely let us eat chicken especially me when I had a bad liver. The doctors told me to stay away from greasy foods to avoid stomach aches but how can I when there are s0 many amazing things to eat?
When I turned the corner I saw something white flash across my eyes then suddenly I felt myself flying backwards into the cold ground.
I let out a groan rubbing my forehead.
“I’m sorr-…Woohyun?” a voice above me said.
I felt a hand grab my arm and yank me into a seating position.
“What is this?” I shouted pushing off the arm but it stayed put. “MISTER let go!”
I finally looked up to see my Boohyun wearing a chef’s jacket staring down at me.
“B-Boohyun!!” I smiled widely. “Do you have any chicken?”
“Why are you bleeding?” Boohyun kneeled down next to me.
“I-I don’treallyremeber,” I slurred my words together.
“What is that smell?” Boohyun sniffed again then frowned. “Have you been drinking?”
.
No.
“Yes.”
“You’re missing for three days then I find you drunk and bleeding on the streets. Gosh Woohyun how immature can you be!” Boohyun lectured me.
“I just wanted some chicken,” I mumbled.
“Get up,” Boohyun grabbed my arm.
“No,” I snapped back. The ground was colder and the world didn’t spin so much down here.
“Come on Woohyun.” Boohyun pulled me up to my feet but I didn’t stay there long. I lost my balance and Boohyun quickly wrapped his arm around my sides.
“Mom is going to kill you,” he mumbled as he led me towards home.
“Mom has chicken too,” I mumbled half aware with what was going on.

RINGGG.
Oh god.
I rolled over in the bed wrapping myself in blankets.
My whole body was shaking as if I was some type of massage chair.
RINGG.
“Shut up,” I mumbled.
RINGG.
I let out a groan not wanting to wake up. I was dreaming that the seven of us were on stage performing in New York City. There were thousands of fans who were screaming our names as the seven of us took the stage.
I didn’t want to wake up from that dream but my phone kept ringing throwing me back into the reality.
I blindly moved my hand around till I felt the square electronic.
“Hello?” I mumbled into the phone.
“Yo where are you,” Hyojin asked.
“What are you talking about I’m at the hou-“
I ripped the covers off which was stupid since instantly I was blinded by the sun which had now consumed my room.
I wasn’t at Hyojin house sleeping on the floor in the dirty room. Instead I was sleeping in a large queen size bed that contained all of my brothers belonging.
“I’ll call you back,” I yelled into the phone and hanged up before she could protest.
“,” I mumbled to myself as I threw the blankets off of my body.
I felt sick as if I was going to throw up at any second but I knew I had to get out of here.
How did I get here?
Like a movie the scenes from last night began to fill my head. I was drunk like really drunk then I ran into...oh god.
“Boohyun,” I mumbled to myself.
He dragged me back home then what happen? I rubbed my hand through my hair slowly realizing that it was damp.
That’s right he threw me the shower fully clothed but before he the shower he shook his head back and forth and said, “I’m so disappointed.”
The cold water didn’t feel nearly as bad as the words. They made me feel angry but yet numb at the same time.
I never wanted to disappoint anyone in my whole life but yet here I was.
“I’m sorry,” I screamed as cold water splashed against my warm body.
“,” I mumbled to myself.
“!”
A beeping sound came from my phone and I looked down to see a text message from Hyojin.
After you figure out where you are get your stuff together. We’re going to Busan for the week.
“Busan?”
I couldn’t go not with Boohyun watching me. I knew my brother wouldn’t let me go without some type of lecture. He would make me wash dishes for the rest of the month.
I sighed I guess it was time to get my lecture done and finished with.
I open the bedroom door and walked into the living room. The apartment which was usually full of noise was now quiet.
“Hyung?”I called for him.
Silence.
“H-hyung?”
I looked around the apartment but I found no traces of my hyung.
Strange.
It wasn’t till I walked into the kitchen for the second time did I notice a purple sticky note on the fridge.
Woohyun-
I had an emergency at the restaurant I’ll be back in a half hour. Don’t do anything stupid and don’t leave! When I get back we're going to have a serious conversation!
Great.
I threw the note in the trash can, not looking forward to the talk Boohyun was going to give me.
My phone beeped in my hand turning my attention from my thoughts.
There was one word.
Busan?
“I’m sorry,” I said to the empty kitchen.
Then I ran.
 

Authors Note:
I haven’t posted in a while I’m sorry. Life has just been so hectic for the last month but thank goodness things are now calming down. There are some important things that happen this month that I wanted to talk about.
 
First off Infinites Four Year Anniversary!!
I’ve only been an Inspirit for two years but I treasure those years. These idiotic boys have stolen my heart and made me a happier person. When I first got into Infinite I was dealing with some medical problems and they helped me get through it. Each one of these boys has taught me something:
 
Sunggyu has taught me to do what I love and not care about what other people say. Sunggyu wanted to be a rock star but now he’s in a boy band. I bet his friends picked on him about joining a boy group instead of a band. But he didn’t let other people’s words sway him in his choice of joining Infinite. So thank you Sunggyu for showing me that you shouldn’t care about what other people’s thoughts are when it comes to your dreams.

Dongwoo has taught me to always smile even when you’re sad. Whenever I have a bad day I always look up videos about Dongwoo. I know that being an Idol can be tiring but Dongwoo always look happy which makes me feel like if Dongwoo is getting no sleep and barely eating and he can put on a smile then so can I.

Woohyun has taught me that you can be the person you want to be. People always picked on Woohyun for his looks but look at him now. He has made himself into a better person a person that people love. I don’t even think Woohyun is ugly but he defiantly got better looking since his debut.

Hoya has taught me to be passion with whatever I do. Even if my parents, friends, or coworkers don’t think I can do it. He has taught me that if your passion about your dream then it will come true.

Sungyeol has taught me that it’s okay to change your dreams. Sungyeol was already in SM as an actor but he dropped everything to be a singer. He threw away his safety net and followed something he enjoyed.

Myungsoo has taught me that being myself is the most important thing. It feels like now a day that L is fading and the real Myungsoo is here to stay. Which I for one am happy about.

The lovely maknae Sungjong has taught me that even if you’re young or small you can still be stay strong. You still need to speak your mind if you don’t agree with what is being said. Sungjong is the maknae which is usually means being pushed around by his hyung but I have feeling that Sungjong pushes his hyungs around more.
So thank you Infinite for teaching me new things and making amazing music. I hope you can make music for another ten or twenty years.
 
Woohyun’s Accident
I saw the title of the article saying that Woohyun was in an accident. I felt as if my heart had stopped and I actually sat on the ground. I soon realized he wasn’t injured and my heart could beat again. I don’t think Infinite could be Infinite without the seven of them. Please get better Woohyun and don’t push yourself. We rather you rest for a month then be in pain.
 
Graduation:
A lot of people are graduating maybe following their dreams or going straight into work. Whatever you do I want to let you know that I’m proud of you for graduating. All that work you did will pay off one day. I hope all of you can accomplish your dreams! Congrats the class of 2014!!
 
Thank You
Thank everyone for still following my story even though I haven’t posted in a month. Hopefully now that I have my life figured out I will have more time to write! So thank you!!!