Part Fifty: Sungyeol
The Words Unsaid
Part Fifty
Sungyeol
“What the hell Sungjong, “ I mumbled to myself as I walked down the street.
Leave it to the maknae to have the last words even in a coma.
I look down at the riddle and sigh because honestly how did he expect me to solve this?!
“Some like me hot, some like me cold, some like me mild, some like me bold. What am I?” I read out loud.
At first I thought it was the dorm but the mild and bold part didn’t make sense for the location.
I bet the other members had already figured out their clues and were back at the dorm.
No Myungsoo was probably still looking or he was roaming the streets lost.
I swallowed hard thinking about all the events that had happen today.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to say goodbye to Sungjong.
Of course I wanted to say my dues to the youngest member. Myungsoo, Sungjong and I were the youngest of Infinite and we always dealt with hyung’s . Of course I wanted to say goodbye to him.
I just didn’t want to see my members.
I didn’t want to see how damaged they had become because of the accident. Most of all I didn’t want them to see how broken I was.
I lied to Myungsoo that I couldn’t speak. I knew if I really wanted to I could but I was scared. If I talk then I would have to explain my feelings and I wasn’t ready to show them how crazy I really was.
How guilty I felt about Sungjong’s death.
No I wasn’t ready to talk about my stupid feelings but when I saw my members falling apart.
I had to say something.
I wanted to tell them to stop fighting. That Sungjong wouldn’t want this and that we have to stay strong.
But the only words that came out was that i-it was my fault.
The words that I pushed to the back of my mind was now on lips for everyone to hear.
To say that I explode was an understatement.
Maybe at that moment I needed to explode I thought as I sat down on a metal bus bench.
I let my hands run through my hair as a I let out a defeated sigh.
It was too hard.
There was no way I would be able to figure out the riddle before everyone else. Once again I was going to be left out.
"Sungyeol?" An uncertain voice called.
I looked up from my seat to see her standing there with a worried look on her face.
Anger started to form at the bottom of my stomach and I stood up to leave.
"Wait," she called for me as she reach for my arm.
"No," I snap trying to walk away from her.
"Please let me explain," she begged me.
"Why should I?" I snapped at her. "Are you going to make a fool of me again?"
"No," she answered simply. "Please just let me explain and if you want to hate me afterwards then so be it."
"I shouldn't give you a minute of my time after everything. I trusted you and you hurt me," I admitted.
"You’re right. I'm a awful person and I deserve to be thrown in the ocean with an anchor tied to my feet. But right now I want to tell you the truth. Afterwards if you still hate me then you don't ever have to see me again."
"Fine," I snapped.
She sighed. "I didn't mean to lie to you from the start and I did have plans of helping you. It was just merely a coincident that you were Sungjong's bandmate. I really did want to help you Sungyeol but then it got way too confusing. But you have to know that my feelings for you weren't a lie."
I turn my head away from her, "I don't want to hear it."
I couldn't let down my wall again around her. No I didn’t want to be hurt all over again. What I really wanted to do was build a castle and put myself behind brick walls away from everyone's words and actions. Even though I might be a lonely at least I'm not getting hurt. The only person I can trust in this world is myself.
I turn to leave but then her hand grab my arm.
"Don't," I snapped
" Just give me one second," she begged me.
"No," I shouted as I ripped my arm away from her grasp.
I had every intention of leaving that park bench and Dr. Kang Sora behind but then I felt her soft lips on mine and my world stops spinning.
I let out a gasp as looked into her eyes trying to understand her actions just seconds ago.
"W-why?" I sputtered out.
"Because believe it or not I like you. I like how childish you can be but yet you are so manly. I like how when you get mad your eyes go wide and you speech nonsense. I like how you care more about your friends and family then you do for yourself. I like how you’re stubborn but that allows you to never give up. I like how caring you can be but also selfish at times. I pushed my feelings away because it wasn't professional but I still couldn't stop liking you. I just like you!"
"B-but," I looked at her still stunned.
"Do I have to kiss you again to make you understand," she snapped.
I could feel my ears turning red as I tried to comprehend the words she had just told me.
"But why did you lie to me?" I questioned her because even though I would love to kiss her again I still had my wall up.
"How did I lie to you Sungyeol? The drama?" She asked me.
"You can start there," I told her.
“That was mostly Sungjong’s fault,” she admitted.
“Wait what?” I looked at her with wide eyes. “Don’t try blaming this on Sungjong.”
“I’m not,” she raised up her hands. “Sungjong didn’t just come to me because something was bothering him. He came to me because he needed someone to talk to and our talks didn’t just involve around his problems or worries. Sometimes they were just him telling me about his day or a new Tv show he was watching. The last thing we talked about was that darn TV show. I don’t really know why I shared it with you maybe because I felt like I was giving you a gift from Sungjong in a way.”
Cars drove by as I tried to comprehend the words she had just told me.
Sungjong was the one who had originally seen the show but why didn’t I remember seeing him watch it. As much as I hate to admit it I couldn’t remember what tv show Sungjong was watching or what type of music he was listening to before the accident.
I felt as if I couldn’t remember the youngest at all or maybe I just never knew him.
“You have to know Sungyeol I never meant to hurt you,” she added looking at me. “I really did care about you.”
I let out a sigh. “How does it end?”
“How does what end,” she looked at me curiously. “Our relationship?”
She took a deep breath and I could tell that she was hurt. “If that’s what you want th-“
“No how did the show end?” I looked at her with a smile.
“Oh,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “The girl falls in love with the guy.”
“Typical,” I scoffed.
“Things are going good till she finds out that she doesn’t have cancer and it was just a mess up at the hospital. She goes home and leaves the guy. After a couple of months the guy comes to her hometown and finds her. They fall back in love and live happily ever after.”
“So the typical ending,” I laughed.
“Everyone likes a happy ending,” she smiled.
“Not everyone,” I pointed out. “I’m a er for sad endings.”
“I could tell. I bet you are the type of person that cries at stranger’s weddings,” she laughed.
“No,” I frowned even though she was completely right.
I had once gone to my cousins wedding and cried through the whole ceremony even though I had never met him before.
“Soo,” she looked at me and I knew there was more on her mind. “Do you forgive me?”
“Nope,” I told her.
“Sungyeol,” she slapped my arm.
“Oww,” I shot her a glare.
“Come on Sungyeol,” she told me as she crossed her arms and crinkled her nose.
“Fine,” I told her with a smile.
She let out a small squeal as I pulled her into a tight hug. I had forgotten how she smelt of vanilla and brown sugar and the way her hair was soft against my fingers.
In that moment I had forgotten about Sungjong and about the fans. Oh how the fans would hate me for going off and finding a girlfriend during all of this.
Wait girlfriend?
Don’t get too attract Sungyeol! Don’t let her know that you like her more than she likes you! I always had a habit of letting my feelings get the best of me which usually resulted in disaster.
So just play it cool Sungyeol!
“OUCH!” I shouted as I felt a sharp pain to my side and I let go of Sora.
“What was that for,” I snapped rubbing my side.
“You were squishing me,” she laughed.
“Just for that I’m not going to forgive you!” I pointed out crossing my arms.
“Sungyeol!” she shouted at me as she raised her eyebrows.
“Fine but I’ll only forgive you if you do one thing for me,” I told her as a smile emerged from my face.
“And what is that? Jump around and scream like an idiot or go buy you food?” she asked me as she placed her hand on her hips.
“Maybe later but right now figure this out for me,” I said as I handed her a piece of paper that contained Sungjong’s riddle.
“What is this,” she said as she frowned.
“It’s a riddle obviously,” I rolled my eyes.
“I can see that and why do you want me to solve it?” she asked me.
“Because I ehh,” I let my head dropped. “I can’tsolveit.”
“What was that?!” Sora leaned into me.
“Icantsolveit,” I mumbled to myself.
“What?” she asked once again even though I was pretty sure she was knew what I was saying.
“I can’t SOLVE IT!” I shouted raising my hands above my head.
She smirked, “Okay you don’t have to beg!!”
Then she looked down at Sungjong’s riddle as I stood back waiting for her to be stumped too.
But then she smile and looked up at me. “You are such a idiot.”
♦♦♦♦♦
Of course Sungjong would pick this place and now I felt even more like an idiot in front of Sora.
Once the glass door swung open I was met with the wonderful smell of coffee beans and the clinking of glasses.
It smelt like home in that little cafe that was located down the street from our old dorm. I had thought that the café had closed after we left the old dorm and moved into the new one. When we were living in the dorm I used to visit this café twice a day. The old women running the café would know me by my name and give me extra coffee for the days I needed it.
When we left I had forgotten to say goodbye but it wasn’t as if I didn’t mean to say goodbye I was overwhelmed with schedules. But now I couldn’t help but wonder what happen to the old lady that used to serve me coffee.
The small café looked the same as it did years ago and it still had its ugly yellow countertops filled with little bags of small treats. I had half expected to see the young woman standing behind the counter reading a book or refilling the coffee machines. But instead stood a worn out teenage boy that had stains up and down his white apron as if he just went to culinary war.
“Hello welc-“ he paused looking me up and down. “I know you.”
I paused at the doorway as fear crept up my spine. A fan or maybe just someone who recognize me but this wasn’t a time to be recognized.
I didn’t need it posted online that I went on a date right before Sungjong’s death. As much as I wanted to say that I didn’t care about what people wrote online I still somewhat care.
“I eh-“
“You are Sungyeol...right?” he asked me with a smile on his face as he step from the counter.
“Do I know you?” I questioned him because although the voice looked familiar I still couldn’t remember who he was.
“It’s been about four years since I saw you the last time,” he told me.
“Wait,” I paused as I scanned the boy up and down.
“You are not the owner's son right?” I said with a smile.
He nodded with a grin.
“I used to play games with you,” the young man told me.
“Woah you grew up,” I said looking at how tall the young man had grown. “You got a lot taller.”
“That’s what happen when years past,” he joked. “Who is this?”
I looked at Sora who was standing at my side smiling.
“She is…” I paused looking at her face.
What were we friends?
Boyfriend and girlfriend?
I had forgotten to ask what we were and now one question could ruin our whole somewhat kind of relationship.
“I’m Sora,” Sora introduced herself with a smile and small nod.
“Nice to meet you Sora,” the boy smiled. “You sure are pretty.”
Sora laugh as she covered . “Thank you.”
I shot her glare then turn my attention back at him.
“But where is your Umma,” I asked him trying to see if she was hiding somewhere in this tiny shop.
“Oh,” his smiled dropped. “She is dealing with some health issues that’s why she’s not here.”
“But she will be okay,” I questioned him as my heart started to pound.
“Yes,” he answered simply but the boy still looked sad.
“Why are you not with her?” I asked because I knew that this shop wasn’t that popular and spending a couple days away wouldn’t change anything.
“We need money for her treatment,” he said looking down at his feet.
“Oh,” I sighed quietly.
“But I bet you are here for this,” he said as he regained his smile. He walked behind the counter and pulled out a old black shoes box.
“My Umma kept is nice and safe for you,” he told me as he handed the box.
It felt heavy but not from the weight but because I knew the contents in the box would change everything.
“My Umma wanted to give you this in person I guess she will be disappointed to know you came while she was sick,” he told me.
“D-did Sungjong dropped this off?” I looked at him and I felt like crying.
“No some random person dropped it off and said it was for a scavenger hunt and that Sungyeol from Infinite was coming to get it and not to open it. But then the accident happen and we tried calling your company but no one believed us. Umma kept it safe just in case you came back,” the young man admitted.
“Well thank you,” I told him and bow.
“I’ll make you your favorite Americano while you open your gift but I promise it won’t be as good as Ummas,” he laughed.
“Thank you,” I bow again.
“Let sit down,” Sora pointed to a round wooden table that was located in the corner of the café.
I nodded and followed her to it.
“Are you ready?” she asked as we sat down.
I nodded even though I never thought I would be ready. I looked down at the shoe box trying to think of what the Sungjong would have left me.
Was he going scold me or make me laugh?
“Are you going to open it?” Sora looked at me than back to the shoebox.
I grabbed ahold of the cover as I let out a shaky breath trying to calm my nerves than I open the box.
Inside contained two white envelopes with the numbers one and two written in black ink.
I grabbed the white envelope labeled number one and open it. Inside contained a white paper with a website address written neatly on the paper. Underneath the address was two simple words: “Watch Me.”
“What is this?” I mumbled to myself.
“Here Sora,” handed me her cell phone.
I carefully open the web browser app and typed in the address. I didn’t press the enter button till I made sure that the address was correct.
The screen turned white then slowly Sungjong's face appeared on the screen with a play button on the bottom right hand side.
Sora let out a gasp as she leaned over to get a better view of the phone.
“Sungjong,” I sighed as I took in his face.
“Here,” Sora reached into her purse and pulled out black headphones. She handed them to me as she stood up from her seat.
“I’m going to give you some space,” Sora told me then she squeezed my shoulder and just like that she was gone.
“What is this,” I whispered to myself as I plugged the headphone into the cell phone.
“What is this.”
I swallowed hard trying not to break down just from the small screen shot. I took deep breath then without any regrets I pressed play and Sungjong came to life.
“Took you long enough!” he laughed into the camera letting his gums show.
“I bet you are the last one to figure out the riddle or maybe Myungsoo is still looking for his? Are you surprised that I put this little scavenger hunt together? I bet this answers your questions about why I have been missing lately because believe it or not this has taken me a while to put together. But besides that I want to tell you something. Firstly Lee Sungyeol,” he looked directly into the camera making my stomach turn.
“You are not a joke! I mean you are a joker but you are not a joke. When you first joined Infinite you didn’t get along with us or even the fans. We all thought that you were going to use your Aunts fame as a way to climb the social ladder. But you didn’t. You didn’t even like it when people asked you questions about her and you would always direct the question back to Infinite. At one point we thought you were going to leave Infinite you know after you used informal speech to a higher up. That was the moment we realized that you were a part of the group. Dancing without you felt weird and unnatural. Infinite couldn’t work with just six people and it was as if you became a part of the group without us even knowing. You could have left us after all we weren’t so nice to you and even the fans were mean to you but you stuck it through.”
He smiled as if he was recalling the memories.
“I’m not sure if it was because of your pride or because you are as stubborn as a bull. You stayed with us and ignored the comments and worked harder to become even more apart of Infinite. You are brave Sungyeol and don’t let anyone else tell you different. Any other kid would run away after reading mean comments that not only insult you but your family. You are brave for staying and throwing it in the anti faces that you can sing and you can dance and you can act.”
I could feel tears starting to well in my eyes as Sungjong’s words hit the wall I had placed up after his accident.
“Not only are you brave you are also true to yourself. I have to pretend to be full of aegyo or this girly guy who only knows how to do girl dances. Even though I do kill those girl dances! But what I’m trying to say is you are always true to yourself. Even if Jung Yeop wants you to act a certain way you never really conformed to it. That’s something most of us can’t say now. You stayed true to yourself even after being picked on. You know Sungyeol I’m actually jealous of you because you wear your heart on your sleeve. We know when you are mad or upset. We know when you are happy or when you're scared because you never hide anything from us. There is something I need to tell you Sungyeol. I need you to keep on smiling and acting like a dork because it’s okay to be a dork and actually dorkness looks good on you,” he smiled widely.
“That’s all I have to say,” he told me as he rubbed his finger under his eye. “In the second envelop is a present for you and don’t say I didn’t try!”
I grabbed ahold of the second envelop and looked down at it not sure what type of gift Sungjong would have chosen for me.
“Did you open it?” Sungjong asked me.
“No,” I replied then open the envelop.
“Do you like it?!” Sungjong asked as he rocked back and forth in his chair in excitement.
I pulled out another piece of paper and on it contained numbers and names of stores but before I could inspect it anymore Sungjong began to speak again.
“Inside is your order numbers for the new outfit I bought you! Remember all the times you asked me if your outfit was okay or fashionable? Well I decided to buy you a whole new one so you can stop asking me!” he smiled as he brushed his hair out of his face. “Okay I lied the whole reason I bought you a new outfit is because I got director Park Chanwook number!”
I almost choked on the saliva in my mouth.
“What!” I whispered with my wide eyes staring at the screen.
“Listen I know you will think I bribed him or something but I didn’t,’” Sungjong told me. “I ran into him at a restaurant and told him about you. I even showed him a clip from your TV show with Woohyun and he liked you. He is coming out with a new movie and he thinks you will be perfect for the part. Call him he is expecting you.”
But why?
Chanwook was a famous director in Korea and he came out with some of my favorite movies such as Old Boy and Stoker. It was almost unbelievable that Sungjong met him and totally unbelievable that he wanted me in one of his movies.
“Well I guess this is the end! You better tell me how much you love me when you see me later today! Oh and Sungyeol,” he paused as he stared at me through the screen. “I love you…you dork.”
The screen went black and Sungjong voice disappeared from my ears.
I looked down at the piece of paper that contained the wonderful gifts that Sungjong had left behind for me.
Then it hit me that he was gone.
He was really gone now.
I thought that I had shed all the tears I could but I was mistaken. I let out a loud sob as I placed my head in my hands.
This wasn’t right he should be here.
I felt someone’s arms wrap themselves around my shoulders bringing me into a tight bear hug.
“It’s all right,” Sora said into my ear but it just made me cry even more.
“I just miss him,” I sobbed.
Oh how I really did miss him.
Hi,
I hope you guys will enjoy this update and we are getting to the end of the story. There is only two chapters left! Woah where did the time go with this story. I also want to talk about today’s date. Today is september 11 and for those who live in the states you should know what happen on that day. For those who don’t I will tell you guys. On september 11 2001 two planes crashed into the world trade center resulting in around 3,000 people death. This didn’t just include the people on the planes or the people in the building. Fireworkers and volunteers also died during the tragic event. Hearing about this event for the first time made me realize that the world wasn’t a place where the good guys win and the bad guys lose. That bad stuff happens to good people and there isn’t anything we can do about it. I couldn’t post this chapter on this date without talking about 9/11. Because honestly it will be a date I will never forget as long as I live.
But anyways back to a lighter note what did you guys think about this chapter. Hopefully there isn’t a lot of grammar mistakes since I am editing this on three hours of sleep. Yawn I’m tired I might go take a nap.
But anyways I hope you guys enjoy it!
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