Part Thirty-Five: Sungyeol
The Words Unsaid
Part Thirty-Five
Sungyeol
My mind was on fire as I ran through the streets pushing random people out of the way. A male and female wearing a couple t-shirts shrieked at me when I pushed passed them but I ignored them. Daeyeol told me to keep calm but I was never one to listen to reason. I tried to stay away but every time I closed my eyes I kept on seeing her smiling face. The way I kissed her like an idiot! She was like every other person in the world just using me because of my status. I wasn’t anything special I was just a once famous idol with too many problems. Was she trying to get a scoop so she could get her five seconds of fame? I should have known she wasn’t different from the rest.
When I reached the old familiar building I knew there was no going back. I was going to make another fool of myself but I really didn’t care anymore. I ran up the stairs without a second thought and slammed open the door. Which might have been a dumb decision since there were patients waiting for their appointments. An older woman was holding on to her chest as she sent daggers at me. While a man wearing all white had ran to the corner of the room looking as if I had just killed his cat.
I bowed slightly then made my way to where Dr. Kang’s office was.
“Excuse me,” the young secretary called after me but I couldn’t stop. Not when she was only a couple feet away from me.
“You can’t go in there,” she screamed after me but it was too late I had already slammed the door open.
Dr. Kang was sitting on her red chair with a notebook in her hands. She looked up at me with wide eyes then she stood up throwing her notebook to the floor.
“Sungyeol,” she called out.
“I’m sorry I tried to stop him,” the secretary apologizes next to me.
“What is this about!” a man not much older than Sunggyu stood up from the old couch. For a second I wanted to punch the guy for sitting on my couch but then I realized why I was here.
“Who is he!” the man shouted as he walked towards me.
“Mr. Choi we will talk about this next week,” Dr. Kang told the man.
“But I booked you for a whole hour!” the man shouted as his face was turning red.
“You will not be charge,” Dr. Kang smile. “Lyn could you please help Mr. Choi out.”
“Are you sure?” the women eyed me.
“Everything will be fine,” she smiled the pointed towards the door.
The man grumbled something under his breath but nether less followed the secretary out of the room. Once the door was close Dr. Kang smile dropped.
“Sungyeol what is the matter with you! I’m with a patient can you no-“
I tossed Dr. Kang the DVD I had bought off the internet a couple days ago. Dr. Kang barely caught it but when her eyes scanned the DVD she let out a gasp.
“I can explain,” she told me as she placed Kara’s Secret Love DVD on her desk.
EXPLAIN
I held up the prewritten message on the white board.
“So what I copied a tv show. I thought it would help you open up,” she admitted to me.
You Lied. Are you even a shrink!!
I wrote down harshly on to the white board.
“I thought it would help you not make you like this. Do you even understand what you’re doing to your friends and family? You are making them worry with guilt. They want to help you but you push them all away,” Dr. Kang snapped.
If I am then I have good reason.
“No you don’t! Just because your friend was injured in a car accident doesn’t mean you have to live your life like a zombie,” she told me.
So I should live my life like you? Playing with people’s emotions!
“It wasn’t like that Sungyeol,” she took a step towards me but I placed up my hands. “There is more to the story.”
Tell me.
“I can’t,” she admitted to me. “Sungyeol I think you’re over reacting.”
Over reacting? Yeah right you just played with my emotions. You know I actually thought we were friends. But we both know that was a lie. So was that kiss a lie too?
This was the one question I had on the top of my mind since I found out the truth.
“Oh S-Su-“
I never want to see you again.
“Sungyeol you need help. You can’t live your life like this you’re a ticking bomb.” She said with a frown.
I stared into her eyes for the longest time before I wrote one word on to the black smudged whiteboard.
Boom.
I took off running out the door past the angry secretary and the scared patients. I jumped down the stairs like I was running away from the police.
I didn’t want to be there with her.
No.
I wanted her to feel guilty for the things she had done to me. I wanted her to feel like a fool instead I felt like a horrible person. I wasn’t mad that she copied the television I was mad that the times we spent together was lies. I felt betrayed. I felt worthless.
I killed Sungjong.
I fell in love with a liar.
It was a mistake to go to her and I knew that but I couldn’t take it back even if I really wanted to. If only had I taken Sungjong’s spot then none of this would have happen. I wasn’t anything special in Infinite. Sunggyu had the voice. Woohyun had the grease. Dongwoo had the always annoying optimist that made everyone love him. Hoya had the ab rolling moves. Myungsoo had his good looks. Sungjong had his confidence and I had nothing. I was tall and that was it.
I was worthless and I should have been the one that died that day not Sungjong.
My lungs burned with fire as I collapsed on the ground gasping for air. I knew I looked silly by the way people stared at me as they walked down the street. After all you don’t see a grown man cry on the steps of a library every day.
I wanted to get up and go home but I was too tired and emotionally drain to do so. I knew my umma would want to know where I went and I was too worn down to answer her. Things had grown too complicated and I wanted to run away like always but Dr. Kang words would forever haunt me.
“S-Sungyeol,” a voice called for me.
I looked up and saw the last person I wanted to see in the world. He fell to his knees and wrapped me in his arms.
As much as I wanted to deny it those arms felt like home. For a slight second I imagine that were on stage crying over the amount of love the fans were giving us. For a second I almost forgot about the accident.
“It’s okay,” he sighed patting my back causing me to sob loudly.
Myungsoo you always felt like home.
Authors Note:
This is a really short update and I actually was trying to find a way to make it longer but sometimes a short update still has the same impact as a long update. I hope you guys are enjoying the story! YAWN! Moving is really tough and I’m not even moved into my new place yet. Since the landlord wanted to do some last minute renovations so I’m stuck in a crappy hotel room for a week. BLAH sorry I’m just really tired.
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