Time fly really fast, without them noticing it’s almost three weeks after their breakup. Inspector Song Ji Hyo who working back at Ilsan Police Station already can accept the break up even though sometimes she still feels sad and cry especially when she is alone or thinking of him. She tries to act cools and strong in enjoying her life as wonderful as she can by getting herself busy with her job, joking and having fun with her best friend, Gary or even going shopping or just loitering at the mall but the emptiness still feels in her heart. Her heart and soul already left together with the broken love far in Seoul.

Her best friend Kang Gary acknowledge about the changing in her but never he utter or talks regarding the matter. For her happiness he didn’t want she to remember her past as he aware about the breakup she had face. Too see her happy and cheerful in her ways is enough for him if compare during the early time she transfer back to Ilsan. Still he remember how pitiful she looks, every night she will goes to the club or café to have beer or soju, crying and repeatedly saying the man name. Although she never speaks regarding the break up to him directly but he knows regarding the matter along with the truth that he keep in himself.

The two best friend now having their lunch together when suddenly the woman receive a phone call from unknown number. In her blank mind, she answer the calls before end it soon with the smirk and annoying face which make Gary curious in seeing her changes expression. With just a gesture in asking her ‘what had happened’, she chuckle a bit about to share the story when suddenly her mobile rang again.

“Uhhhh…you so popular today Ji Hyo-yah” he say once she answer her calls and continue his meal although eavesdrop some conversation she had. With the smile and some laugh in her talks he knows someone close had called her but he wonder regarding the conversation when the words ‘he’ appear in , it’s also same with the ‘his’ that she used to the previous phone call. But after hearing her talks he can assume the word he, him and his that she had refer too… without ever needs to say his name, he knows with her gesture it was her ex-boyfriend. He can sense that although sometimes she may look annoyed and uncomfortable to talks about her ex even didn’t utter his name even once but he can see deep inside her eyes still had a care and worries. He knows she not completely forgotten this man and still has feelings for him... and he know soon he must speak about his secret to her even though its might hurt him.

Her conversation with the caller only end after 20 minutes, he was about to ask her but perceived to her gesture stop him. He know by her gesture she would never want to speak about it by too focus in having her meal in their remaining 15 minutes lunch hour although he can see the worried and serious expression in her face. Without she acknowledge he draw a little pain smile as deep inside his heart he know what would the answer he get if he utter the words that he had wants to speak to her since he know regarding the break up… it would be the same like before, it had happen twice to him and he know he not strong enough to face it for thrice. For now he will keeps this word together with his love to the woman in front.

******

Far in one place at Seoul, one man walks enter the old house. The surrounding of the house looks creepy and the dusk are everywhere, there also the spider that being the owner of the abandon building. The smell of dusk enter his nostril and sometimes he sneeze to chase away the dusk that disturbing his breath. His hand holding one old letter with the nice yet familiar handwritten inside, the envelope of the letter looks old and yellow with the addressee name: My little one. Yes that his nickname given by the writer and this 18 years old letter from his adopter father received to him by the paralyzed man.

The sudden meeting between him and the old man and his son happen three days ago. Without him expected, the old man came to his office in seeking his forgiveness also pledging for her daughter happiness besides handling the letter that being long enough in his save. According to the old man he received  the letter through his adopted father’s secretary a month after the death occurs to be given to him after he is 20 years old and this letter also among the reason he try hard in searching his best friend’s heir.

To the Ahjussi, giving his warm smile he give his forgiveness and also his thankful for his time seeking for him at the office, to him also he pledge and say his sorry words to make her daughter miserable. Without saying his exact reason behind his decision of the break up, continually he say his regretful since he can’t accept the older request to reconcile back with Ji Hyo since he doing it for her happiness. Only he know the reason behind his decision although he totally broken with his decision.

The content of the letter had lead him into enter this home again after 18 years he escape together with his brother on the wicked night. Since he can’t remember well the place but thanks to the latest technology he managed to get into the house although takes him a couple of hour to search it. The atmosphere of the building looks creepy and messy but the surrounding still the same, end corner of the yard he still can see the old sakura tree that immobile strongly stand. Still he remembers this is the sakura tree with the swing attached that he likes to play with until one day the branch broke and hit him.    

With the guidance of the letter, his steps move from the living room to climb the stairs then walks along the path until her reach the mini library of the father. Soon, he opens the door and same like the entire building this room also looks messy and dirty with the dusk everywhere. Without wasted time in his inquisitive thinking he walks to the end corner of the room where the job desk located in searching the diary that being mention by the father on his letter.

Go to Appa’s library and find the black diary located at the third drawer of the desk.

From one drawer to another he search but the diary unavailable, missing and wonder him the where about. Who had taken the diary or did his father misplace it somewhere.

*******

After a day outside going to his adopted family’s home and training himself at the gym, in his tiredness Jong Kook come back to his house when the crimson can been seen at the sky. Today, he taking his leave for his medical checkup but intentionally he didn’t go to the Hospital for it, there also the medicine that he needs to take every day. Since the break up not even a single pill he take for his diseased purposely he do to forget the girl but still he fails to do so. He really hate to stay at his home since he can see her appearance anywhere inside the house; at the living room where she likes to watch the Drama, she doing her cooks at the kitchen, her sleep at his bed, her talks, her laugh or even her cry… completely he remember it although how hard he wanted to shoo it from his mind. Each time he remembers her, the tears will always fall which make him become the gym and beer addict.

It also happen today, in order to forget her he had go work out for almost 5 hours at the gym which make his body totally stiff and hurt. Just enter his house, rashly he go to his room to take a sleep but his stubborn eyes won’t shut although how tired he are and soon after his memory with her at the room tout to his mind. He hates it much and quickly he walks to the kitchen to search for a beer inside the fridge.

A tin… two…three… one after one he drink even he can’t count how much he had until his mind become blur and hurt. But the water makes him miss and remember her more and continuously his mouth chanting her name. In his cry he bubbling his frustration and guiltiness to the woman also the pain his heart suffer. The ring from his mobile disturb him and in his hardness he walks to grab the cell phone but he hiss in disguise once the call end as soon he holds it. Her picture at his mobile’s screen caught his eyes make the man sit at his place and unleash all his sorrow there while his thumb rubbing the screen that already wet with his own tears. Without he realize his thumb doing his job at the mobile following his numb mind and soon her name appear on the screen after he tap the green button.

“Ji Hyo-yah…”

*****

Ilsan

The women at the garden with her best friend Kang Gary sitting and playing at the swing to get their rest after finish their 30 minutes jog at the park. Thrice a week they will go to this park to have their jog together after their works in order to maintain their health beside keeps fit.

But the woman looks gloomy today and Kang Gary knows what capturing in her mind now, from her act he knows she is thinking of him. Although she tries hard to hide it but he know since he can see the gloomy in her eyes after she received the calls during their lunch break. Even though he didn’t know what the problem that had arise but from her gesture he knows she is worried and sad, sometimes she will be space out when she is alone. How he wish he can enter her brain now to see or erase all the memory of her with the man but he know it is something only be in his dream. He know how much she love the man ever no one can replace him in her heart and he did also know how much he love her even willing to sacrifice himself. It’s all what he know, might be only he know and he doubted himself either to tells her or not. Will he courage enough in sacrifice his own heart and love in order to give her happiness like what had done by the man? Will he able to love her like what he had done? Are his love to her not big enough if compare to her ex? Question by question comes in his mind together with his hesitation. In his selfishness he wants to keep the secret to himself just like the man request and waited for her patiently but his other side doubt his action. What should he do? He didn’t know and the memory of him with the man reminiscence in his mind.

**Flashback**

“What are you doing here? Why you keep following her?” Kang Gary anger voice appeared once he grab to the man’s collar once he caught him at his car. Numerous times he had saw the car loitering around Ilsan keep followed her, with his curious and for her safety he knew he should caught the driver.

Kim Jong Kook… he took a back once he read the stranger name on his ID and quickly he knew who he had caught too. The man although a stranger to him but his name is familiar, much time he had heard his name from the woman – the man that had gave sorrow to the woman that he had crush too. Saw his well built and muscular body shrink him a little in think how strong the man in front of him and saw to his good looking face didn’t stopped him to think how he able to won her heart. For him this man are perfect and it low his self esteem a bit but thought of his did to her snapped him more.

“Kim Jong Kook, I know you. Why did you hurt her?” he said still hold to the man collar.

“Are you Kang Gary, her best friend? Can we talk a while?” the request by the man made him loose the grip at his collar. With a smirk face he walked towards one food stall nearby and the man followed him from behind.

“What you want to talk about?” he asked once Jong Kook took his seat and he pour a glass of soju to the muscular man while take his own. The bitterness of the drink entered to his throat and warms his temperature a bit.

“Did you love her?” the sudden question by the muscular man shocked and choked him and rashly he took another sip to clear his throat. Didn’t give him the exactly answer he just silent ashamed to acknowledge it since he knew it only a sided love.

“Since you love her, can you make her happy and take care of her?” his another question yet requested surprised him and it stunned him more once the man stood from his sit and kneeled in front him. In his shocked and ashamed with the people inside the food stall in rash he grabbed to the man shoulder and asked him to take his sit. But the stubborn man didn’t budge from his act and kept pledged make him no choice except to agreed with his request. Heard the request from the man exploded him a bit in his doubt of the love of the muscular man toward his best friend. In his mind he wanted to grabbed to him again and hit him hard but the people around taken him back so in his annoyed sound he asked “Didn’t you love her? All this while are you making fun of her?”

“As I love her that why I do this because I know I can’t give her happiness, she will only received suffers. She deserved a better person than me, the one who can give her happiness and I can see it in you Gary-shi”

“But she never love me, in her its only you”

“Please Gary-shi, capture her heart and make her happy. I just only can give her harm, please take care of her and I trust you much in this”

“But didn’t you will suffer, how about your own self?”

“Don’t mind about me, the most important now is her. To see her happiness also will make me happy. Please Gary-shi, I don’t ask much only this and please don’t tell her regarding this matter” the man kept pledged before he excuse himself and exited the stalls after received his promises. And since that day, never he saw the man again.

**end of flashback**

But observing to her act just now makes him reluctant to keep the secret in himself. The emptiness can be seen in her eyes and he identify never ever he be able to make her happy. All this time he acknowledges she just pretended to be happy and act cools although the sadness still hooks inside her heart. No one are able to make the woman happy except the man, the man that still inside her heart and he know like what the man did he also must be courage to accept the reality although it sacrifice himself. ‘I’m sorry Kim Jong Kook-shi’.

Exhale a deep breath he calls the woman name and in his knuckle to hide his emotion he throw his word. “Ji Hyo-yah there one thing I need you to know”

A tear drops from her eyes once he finish told his story and the ringing from her mobile disturbed them. The tears in her become dense once she answer the calls and in quickly she run from the place after give him a slightly hugs in her gratitude for his word. “Thank you Oppa”. Alone in his silent he just watch the woman leave the place and without him notice a tear flow from his eyes. A tear not of sadness but happiness as he grateful for his decision and he know somewhat he had granted the man wishes…  A wish to bring happiness in her – and he glad he managed to did it. 

p/s : The story gonna be end soon... hope you can stay with me for the continuance of the chapter. What the real reason behind his decision & who is Kaonashi???