"I just act like this because I'm scared that you'll leave me again. I'm scared to love someone unstable. I love you Hana," He crashed his lips into mine. His soft lips warmed mine, but I could taste the alcohol. I just sat there, too shocked to do or say anything. He pulled me closer, but then pulled apart and frowned, "Hana. Do you hate me? Why are you not kissing me back?"

"J-jonghyun. You won't remember any of this tomorrow. That's why I'm not kissing you. You also have a girlfriend, and you don't know what your saying right now," I said, trying to snap out of the spell he put me in.

"Why don't you believe me? I love you so much, Hana. I act mean because truthfully, I know that in the end, you won't be by my side," Jonghyun said. His eyes were beginning to droop.

"Come on, we should go," I said. dragging Jonghyun inside. I thought deeply about what he said. In the end, I won't be by his side? Does he think that I'll always leave him? In the elevator, his head drooped onto my shoulder and I half-pulled, half-carried Jonghyun into the room.

"Don't leave, Hana," Jonghyun mumbled into the pillow.

"Idiot. We were forced into the same hotel room, remember?" I retorted back, annoyed at his drunken state.

"Don't ever leave..." Jonghyun's voice faded.

"What?" I asked. He didn't reply, and I just heard quiet snores. I changed, brushed my teeth, washed my face and crawled sleepily into bed. I was tired but I couldn't go to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Jonghyun and what he said. He was drunk, though, right? So he doesn't mean anything, right? I sighed knowing that he wouldn't even remember an of this tomorrow morning. he was making me fall deeper and deeper in love with him and his sweet words. Why can't he say all of that to me when he's not drunk and when he doesn't have a girlfriend...?

I tried summarizing the day... I got to Jeju, slept, fell onto Jonghyun, got called a ert, ate some good dinner, went swimming, sort of relaxed in the spa, where Jonghyun "confessed" and reminded me about dad.

I always try to forgive and forget my father's mistakes but it's easier to say than actually doing it. I mean, it's hard to forget your father almost killing you and your umma because of alcohol problems.

Jonghyun's POV:

Oh God, my head. Must've been the Vodka wine. Hah, I put Vodka in the wine.

So...... Where am I? I looked around and looked out the window to see the beach and a beautiful landscape.

Oh yeah, I'm in Jeju. With my family. With Hana. Where's Hana? Wait. How did I even get here last night?

Flashback:

"I love you Hana," I said, smashing my lips into hers, waiting for her to kiss back.

"Hana, Do you hate me? Why aren't you kissing me back?"

What the hell . Did I just tell her everything?!

Just on cue, Hana walked in. She was all wet and she held a water bottle and a towel in one hand. She looked at me, and we just stared for a few moments until she walked away, grabbing her clothes to go shower. Does she even remember anything?

After her shower, I took one also. When I came back into the room, I opened my mouth to speak when she stood up.

"Breakfast, downstairs," she said.

"Oh. Okay," I responded. I grabbed my phone and followed after Hana.

"Yesterday, do you remember anything?" Hana suddenly asked as we rode the elevator.

"Um. Yeah. Sorry, I was a little drunk," I responded trying to be cool about it.

"It's fine." she said, looking around wanderessly.

"Yeah. Just forget about it all. I thought you were Sekyung," I lied.

"I understand," she said, walking out of the elevator. I sighed. Sekyung. I was supposed to break up with her. I didn't like her anymore and we were just not as close as before. The hugs were meaningless and the kisses were just kisses you would give to a sister or your parent.

I sat down looking blankly at the breakfast in front of me. Hana was happily eating her toast, but every now and then, she would slowly chew and think about something. Mom and dad then walked over to our table, smiling widely.

"Good morning! Did you sleep well?" Mom asked cheerfully. Hana nodded happily and I answered, "Mhmm."

"So what did you think about the hotel?" Dad asked, "Was the spa good?"

"The hotel's great, thank you so much for taking me," Hana said generously.

"No problem," Mom beamed.

"Yeah, and the spa was really nice," I said, glancing at Hana. She looked disturbed and quietly scoffed and looked sad for a second but she went back to her chewing.

Was Hana upset? Why was she upset?

Flashback:

"Cause it's fun! And it tastes good too.... Hana, you don't like wine, do you? After what happened to your dad right?" I slurred. Hana's dad had an alcohol problem. She would call me whenever he got drunk.

Hana didn't answer but she looked a little sad and hurt all of a sudden.

"Oops. didn't mean to say that." I said, covering my lips and changing the subject.

. I'm a jerk. Hana hated alcohol and crap. Even the mention of it.

I looked at Hana in guilt. She was slowly chewing her bacon.

Oh no. What if she hates me? Wait. I'm acting like I hate her too. I'm confused..

Hana's POV:

Jonghyun kept looking at me. I just ignored him and went back to my thinking.

I went swimming this morning to try to get rid of my thoughts but it obviously didn't work. I couldn't get my dad, Jonghyun, being an SM trainee without my parents knowing, or anything else off of my mind..

"Come back down in an hour so we can head to the boat, okay guys?" Jonghyun's dad interrupted my thoughts.

Me and Jonghyun nodded and his parents left us to eat.

"I'm leaving first," I excused myself. I walked away and went up into my room. While I was eating, I randomly decided to do this. I breathed in and called my parents. I dialed in all the numbers and codes for international calls and I was finally connected to my mom.

"Hello?"

"Umma?"

"Hana!"

"Hi Umma!"

"Hi honey. Are you doing well in Korea? Jonghyun's mom is taking good care of you, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is... And I'm doing good. How's it back in the States?"

"Oh it's the same. Is their house nice? Is it scary sleeping without your parents?"

"No mom, I'm old enough, it's fine. I'm at Jeju Island with their family right now."

"Oh yeah, it's her anniversary isn't it? I sent a card so make sure they get it, okay? So is Jeju alright?"

"It's really nice. The beach is really pretty and the hotel is beautiful. Umma, I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Mom.. I'm...... a trainee."

"Eh?"

"A trainee."

"What does that mean?"

"Mom, I'm a trainee at SM Entertainment."

"What? I don't understand. What's that?"

"It's the management... the entertainment with Super Junior and Shinee and DBSK."

"Why would you be there? You don't belong there! Did you try out?"

"Well, not neccesarily.."

"Why are you a trainee? Are you going to mess up your life and become an entertainer? Are you going to throw away all of your hard worked grades and dance proactively in front of live television?"

"Mom... You know that I wanted this."

"I thought you wanted to become a doctor."

"I really did. But I wanted to become a singer too just as much."

"You worked so hard. Me and your father sent you to a private school and gave you tutoring so you could get good education and go to a medical school. It was my last wish for you. Do your parent's wish not mean anything?"

"Mom-"

"Are you crazy? You could become a doctor and have a stable job!"

"Mom. Trust me. Please..."

"Do you even remember why we sent you to Korea in the first place? It was a reward for your studying. We didn't buy you a plane ticket so you could go and become an entertainer!"

The way my mom said "entertainer" made my heart drop. I felt automatically guilty. What my mom said wasn't wrong. My tuition for the private school plus the tuition for tutoring was about 20 thousand a year. Also, the dancing. My mom put me in dancing because I begged her to saying that I needed a break every now and then. She agreed if I promised to stay on track with my studies.

"So you really want this, huh? Sing for me now. Let's see how good you are,"

"Mom.. Don't be like this." I started crying. I knew I couldn't do any of this if my parents didn't support.

"What? If you were good enough to be accepted, you should be able to sing in front of your parents, at least right?" My mom's voice was harsh and sharp.

"Mom, don't do this to me. I'm sorry.. Please support me. I can become a doctor after this."

"Support? Wait until your father hears about this. This is ridiculous."

"Mom.."

"So you have to stay in Korea for the rest of your life?" 

I paused. I didn't even think about that. I'd have to be in Korea for training and my career would be in Korea.

"I guess.."

"Do you think that Jonghyun's parents would be able to keep you in for that long?"

"I'm in a dorm."

"A dorm?! Your crazy aren't you. Did you not even think about asking me about this?"

"I did trust me, but I knew how you'd react."

"So you just decided to do it by yourself?"

"Yes, but mom. Trust me and-"

My mom had hung up. By now I was sobbing. I felt terrible. I didn't tell her because I knew that it'd end up like this. I was split in half right now. A part of me wanted to ignore this and become a singer and the other half wanted to become a doctor. To tell the truth, I'd always had an interest in medicine. When I told my parents, they were delighted. But again, I always had an interest in the arts also.

I kept crying and crying. While I was crying, I just thought, "Why am I crying?"

I didn't really know why I was crying. All the stress was coming over me all of a sudden. I was truly clueless and I didn't know what to do.

"Don't cry. I hate it when you cry," Jonghyun emerged from the corner next to the door.

"How long were you there?" I sniffled.

"I came up in the elevator about 10 seconds after you did...."

I sighed. I just sat there in my tears and puffed eyes.

"I went through the same thing too." Jonghyun came over and sat on his bed, across from me, "You know... You really need your parent's support for this kind of job,"

I ignored him and stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. I poked my skin and tried to make it look like I didn't cry.

"At times like this, you need a hug," Jonghyun crept up and hugged me from behind. My heart stopped and I felt a little better. I turned around in his arms and hugged his waist.

"Your freaking bipolar," I muttered into his chest.

"I'm haven't changed," Jonghyun chuckled.

"I know. You still have temper problems, your still concieted, your still rude, your still bipolar.... Do you know how confusing you are?" I asked. On the plane, he hated me, and right now he's the Jonghyun I loved so much.

"Are we friends?" I asked him, taking my arms away from him.

Jonghyun bit his lip, "Friends?"

"Yeah. Friends. On the plane and at SM, your mean to me and you act like I'm your worst enemy. Yet every now and then, your normal "

"I..."

"You don't have to hate me Jonghyun. Your scared that I'll leave you right?"

Jonghyun didn't reply but his expression said, 'yes'.

"Why would I leave my best friend? I don't think I'm going anywhere, I'm a trainee.. You know, I haven't seen you in 2 years and the way we greet each other is with a fight. I've learned my lesson."

Jonghyun fidgeted but he smiled, "I missed you."

"You.... you scared me, Jonghyun," I said sticking out my tounge.

"Sorry. It's just that I was a little.. in denial,"

"I know. I"m sorry that I left."

"You know, it's actually my fault. You called me but I never called you. I was just a little upset that you acted like we were just friends," Jonghyun laughed.

"Really? Well you have a beautiful girlfriend now," I put on a fake smile. Jonghyun just laughed and nodded, "Yeah. I do."

We walked into the room and just sat there. It became awkwardly silent so I the TV. The first thing I saw broke my heart.

"SHINee's Jonghyun and Shin SeKyung are confirmed to be dating!"

". WHAT IS THIS?!" Jonghyun said. He went into panic mode, calling managers, members and other important people. He was pacing talking on the phone and he looked stressed out.

Meanwhile, I sat there watching the screen flash with pictures of Jonghyun and Shin Sekyung holding hands. They were laughing and being loving to each other. My heart hurt so much. I knew that they were going out, but I didn't really get the full understanding until now.

They were a beautiful couple, talking and walking on the dark streets of Seoul alone together.

FLASHBACK- [ 05/23/2009; 1:12 AM]

"I can't believe your leaving in a month, Hana," Jonghyun said. He lay on my bed and chewed on some chips.

"Me niether. I don't want to leave you," I told Jonghyun. I sighed and slumped into the chair in my room.

"Hey, let's go out tonight," Jonghyun said mischeviously, sitting up from the bed.

"Go out? Like on the streets?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Jonghyun exclaimed, "All of the parents are in the living room and we'll just say we're buying ice cream and they'll let us go."

"Mmmm... Okay," I said. Me and Jonghyun slowly walked into the living room and told the parents that we wanted to eat ice cream. They waved us off and made sure we called them when we got to the mart.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked as we put on our shoes and walked out the door.

"Let's doorbell ditch." he said smirking. I quickly agreed to it and we made a plan.

Since I lived in an apartment, we would ride the elevator from the top of the apartments to the bottom. We would push all of the elevator buttons and since there were 2 apartment rooms on each floor, I would go for the left apartment and he would go for the right. We would quickly ring the doorbell and then ride the elevator down one story to get the next rooms. 

 It was a success and by the time we got to the bottom, we were all sweaty and panting.

"We should do this to work out and get fit," Jonghyun said as we walked to the corner mart to finally buy some icecream.

"I know.. That was hecka fun," I said, still panting from all the running. It was actually a lot harder than it looked.

"Yeah. Want the usual?" Jonghyun asked as we walked to the ice cream section. I nodded and he tossed me a little ice cream packet. I smiled. I'd always get the ice cream milkshake and he'd always get the strawberry ice cream cone.

"What are you guys doing here this late?" the ajhumma at the mart said as we checked out.

"We wanted your ice cream," Jonghyun said charmingly.

"Aigoo. You guys are so cute. Your growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday when you popped out of your momma's tummy. The next thing I know, your gonna be married off," the ajhumma sighed, beaming down at us.

"Don't worry, ajhumma. We'll always come back to the mart to visit you," I said, handing her the money.

"Ah.. I wouldn't be surprised if you two got married to each other. Even as little babies, you guys would cry if you didn't see each other for one second," the ajhumma said, ruffling Jonghyun's hair.

Me and Jonghyun just shyly smiled. After a short talk with the ajhumma, we left the mart.

We unwrapped the ice cream and started eating as we walked.

There was a orange glow of the streetlight as me and Jonghyun walked through the city, our ice cream and talking.

"I'm so gonna miss this," I said as I on the ice cream pouch.

"Me too.. You know I love you right?" he said.

"Of course. You tell me everyday. I love you too," I smiled and looked up at him. He was so handsome, he'd always been handsome. He had strawberry on his cheek. I laughed and wiped it off of his cheek.

For the rest of that night, we walked all around the dark city of Seoul, talking and laughing, enjoying our last month together. I held tightly onto Jonghyun's arm, not ever wanting to let go. He smiled and pulled his arm out of my grasp, but wrapped his arm around my shoulders.