It's hard to act like everything's okay when it's not.

I think that's the hardest part of life.

People say that you shouldn't bottle things up and that you should let your sadness and depression out, but...

If I say I'm in pain; I'm scared that I'll really be in pain.

If I say that I'm sad; I'm scared that I'll shed more tears....

My physical body is smiling, laughing, eating, drinking, hugging...

But my insides are being eaten by sorrow and hurt...

~~~

It's been 48 hours since what happened.

I'm not taking anything too seriously.

I guess I should've known that this would've happened sooner or later. I mean, what I wanted was a straight answer from Jonghyun right?

I really got a straight answer...

After coming back from the hospital work I decided to walk the 20 minutes home.

It's a cold night and as usual, people are bustling with things to do, people to meet, places to go.

Meanwhile there's me in this huge city of Seoul dragging my feet across the pavement, not aware of my surroundings at all...

The phone in my hand vibrated. I looked down and the phone blinked:

Kwang~

I cleared my throat and forced myself to get into a happy mood.

it up Hana. It's not like it would've worked out anyway. Besides, you have a boyfriend. Its better your broken heart than his.

"Hello?" I answered cheerfully.
"Hey Hana. Why haven't you been answering your calls?" he asked, worried.
"Oh, I've been busy and stuff. I want to see you!" I exclaimed.
"I was going to say that too," Kikwang cheered.

Me and Kikwang chose a meeting place and then hung up. I took a deep breath and mentally slapped myself.

. It. Up.

I grabbed a taxi to the address he sent me by text. When I got there, he was already waiting for me.

"Hey," Kikwang greeted me with a hug.

"Hi," My voice was muffled by his sweater. He smelled like Kikwang. I smiled.

"How is my girl?" Kikwang winked.

"She's doing pretty good. She's doing even better now because she's looking at her gorgeous boyfriend," I smiled.

"Gorgeous?" Kikwang smiled with his eye smile.

"Yeah, gorgeous," I grinned, "So where are we?"

"You'll see," Kikwang stuck out his tongue playfully.

He grabbed a duffel bag out of his back trunk and held out his hand for me to hold and led me through a trail.

"Shut your eyes," Kikwang said.

I nodded and shut my eyes closed and put my hands over my eyes. As Kikwang held my hand and led me closer to wherever he was taking me, I tasted salt in the air and heard seagulls' cries.

I heard the sound of the ocean crashing.

"Open," Kikwang smiled.

I expected to see an ocean. I mean, that is what I saw but that wasn't it...

I gasped, "You did this?"

"Yeah," Kikwang said, taking out food from his duffel bag.

Kikwang set out blankets on the shore of the beach and had little colorful christmas lights all around the blankets. It looked like a scene from a movie.

"How- Why?" I asked, touched.

"I've always wanted to do this with my girlfriend. And I know you love the beach. I just had to," Kikwang patted the area on the blanket next to him, motioning for me to lay down next to him.

"Eat," Kikwang stuffed a strawberry in my mouth.

"Thanks," I said, with the strawberry practically exploding in my mouth.

"You know.... in Seoul you can't see the stars. We're still in Seoul... but here- you can see the stars," Kikwang whispered in my ear.

"How's that possible?" I asked. I looked up and there were no stars. I mean, you'd have to go at least 2 hours away from bright Seoul to see the stars.

Kikwang handed me a little telescope thing. I held it up to my eye and surely, there were stars in the sky.

I laughed, "What is this?"

"I found it on the floor when I was a kid... It was supposed to be magic and let me see stars where there were none. But for some reason, it never worked. It only works here," Kikwangs said.

"Yeah right, how's that possible?" I said, not believing.

"Well believe me or not, but I believe myself," Kikwang grinned.

I turned my head and looked towards him. His arm was beneath the crook of my neck; a pillow for me.

Kikwang smiled his cute smile at me.

Maybe, just maybe me and Jonghyun weren't meant to be. Maybe it was Kikwang all along... 

"Can I kiss you?" Kikwang softly asked.

We hadn't kissed yet. I didn't allow him to. Sure, he came close to but I just never let him because I was unsure but now....

I nodded.

"Are you sure?" Kikwang asked again.

I just laughed and leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

Kikwang's eyes widened in surprise and his hand immediately touched his lips.

"I see stars," I laughed, picking up Kikwang's little toy again.

"Me too," Kikwang removed the toy from my hand and brought me closer towards him and closed the gap between us.

~~~

UNEDITED CHAPTER. because i need to sleep.

anyway.... ^_____^

awwww. <3

unless you don't like kwang and hana. LOL.

it's fine. this story is unexpected. ahaha