I watched quietly as Jonghyun walked out of the hotel room. I didn't know what to say...

So I didn't say anything.

Instead, I ran to the small hotel room kitchen, grabbed the bag with the soup I packed earlier and chased after Jonghyun. I caught him in the hotel lobby and placed my hand on his shoulder and turned him around. He froze. He knew that it was me.

He didn't want to see me.

I understood. I told him that his "love" Hyeyoung didn't love him as much as he loved her. Meanwhile, he had to literally hide from peole because of the rumors about his "drug" problem. Of couse he didn't want to see me. He probably didn't want to see anyone... I just silently put the bag in his hand, panting from running to try to catch him, and then turned away. I felt his gaze burning a hole in my back as I walked away. I didn't turn back to look at him, though.

As I was going up the elevator back into my hotel room, I got a text. I opened it mindlessly. It was from Kikwang:

Where are you? ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Oh... Crap. I had totally forgotten about meeting Kikwang.

Today was one of his free days so we were going to meet at Chenggyecheon. I sent him a message back that I'd be right there. I darted into my hotel room and ignored the huge soup stain in the middle of  my carpet. I slipped into a casual dress and a jacket in under 5 seconds, grabbed my bag and semi- sprinted semi- walked to the lobby and caught a taxi. 

I tapped my foot, checking my watch every 2 seconds in the taxi. I looked out the window to see cars and cars lined up, waiting for the traffic jam to clear. The taxi driver glared at me. I could tell that he was irritated that I kept fussing in the back.

In the end, I got out of the taxi in the middle of the street and just ran the rest of the way to the river. When I finally got there, I was panting, holding my jacket in one hand, panicking and looking around for Kikwang. Just as I was about to give up, I saw a black huddled figure sitting down alongside Cheonggyecheon. I slowly walked towards the figure.

"Kikwang?" I asked, trying to look for the man's face.

"Hana," the figure looked up. It was Kikwang.

"Kwang.... why did you wait for me this long in the cold?" I asked. It was freezing cold in October, especially in the night. I sat down next to him and touched his skin which felt like ice.

"I just... wanted to see your face," Kikwang grinned even though he was obviously suffering from the cold weather. He put his shoulder over me, "Your warm." he said.

I just smiled. Me and Kikwang were only getting closer as time went by. Even if we didn't see each other often, we texted and talked over the phone. We didn't need to go anywhere to have fun... We just had to be with each other.

"How is everything?" Kikwang asked, brushing some hair off my face. His freezing hands made my skin tingle. He knew about Jonghyun and everything and my stresses about college and all of that.

I replied with a sigh. Kikwang chuckled in response, "Is it that bad?"

"No..... Well- I don't know," I answered.

"Don't be stressed," he kissed my forehead and held me closer to him. I smiled and hugged him. We layed down next to the river with our feet in the water, looking up at the sky.

"You see the stars?" Kikwang asked.

"We're in the middle of Seoul with huge buildings surrounding us, there aren't going to be any stars," I frowned.

"Did you forget about my telescope?" he chuckled. He took something out of his pocket and placed it in my hand. I just laughed when I realized that it was his star toy. I looked through it and sure enough, there were stars.

"I see the stars now," I laughed.

"I see them everywhere when I'm with you," Kikwang whispered.

------

I was confused. Completely confused because I had a dream. A dream about Kim Jonghyun. Him and I were dating again. Everything was perfect. So, so perfect. We were both happy together and only together. There was no Hyeyoung....

..No Kikwang. And that was the part that confused me.. I was happy with Jonghyun and in my dream, I didn't even know who Kikwang was.

When I woke up, my heart ached. I love Jonghyun and I love Kikwang. I love Jonghyun as a friend. I love Kikwang as a boy. At least that's what I wanted to think. 

I just pushed the thought aside and watched TV as I ate my breakfast. News about Jonghyun was still popping up everywhere and SHINee and the managers were going crazy trying to stop Jonghyun's rumors from spreading more. Onew had told me that Jonghyun had been getting worse with the beer problems and Hyeyoung had just made everything worse. I quickly finished the rest of my breakfast and decided that I'd go out to see Jonghyun today.

Jonghyun's POV:

"Hyeyoung. HYEYOUNG!" I banged on her door again. She wouldn't answer but I knew that she was in there.

I kicked the door, punched the door, tried unlocking it in any possible way. I sighed in frustration and leaned against the entrance of her apartment when she finally opened it.

"STOP DOING THIS TO ME!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. I grabbed my balance again from almost falling when she opened the door on me and held her tight. She tried to push me off but I held onto her too tight. She started to cry and I tensed up. I couldn't take it when girls cried. I softly let go of her and kissed her. It would make her better, right? MY kisses always made my girlfriend feel better.

But she just cried even more and punched my chest. It didn't hurt at all but I could tell that she was trying to hurt me.

"Hyeyoung, take me back," I pulled a rose out of my back pocket. Hyeyoung took it and kicked the petals on the floor.

"I'm so much happier without you. You said you loved me right? Then leave me alone so I can be happy!" Hyeyoung cried.

"No, your happy with me. Stop fighting me!" I held her wrists from hitting me anymore.

"Hyeyoung?" The elevator dinged.

I turned around. Standing in the elevator was Hyeyoung's boyfriend. I narrowed my eyes as he glared at me and fiercely took my hands off of her wrists. Hyeyoung stood behind her boyfriend and gulped. I looked at her, betrayed. She's my girlfriend, what is he doing with her? Yet, I couldn't do anything. Even if I had my reputation somewhat ruined, SM would kill me if I got into a fight. I griped the hem of my shirt and held in my anger.

Her boyfriend smiled and put his arm around Hyeyoung. Hyeyoung looked scared, as if I would do something, but then smiled in satisfaction when I didn't. They both went into Hyeyoung's apartment and slammed the door behind them.

I looked down and saw my tears dropping onto the floor, wetting the ripped petals of the rose. I leaned against the wall of the outside of her apartment and slid down, holding my hand aganist my mouth, trying to supress the tears.

Just then, I saw a pair of converse appear in front of me. I frowned and looked up. A hand held out a tissue.

It was Hana...

I didn't know how to respond. I was embarrassed because she was giving me the tissue. Ashamed because of the fact that I was crying for a girl, and guilty because of the way I treated her. But I didn't let it show...

I just looked down and didn't accept the tissue. Hana grabbed my hand and put the tissue in it. After that, she walked away.

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hello~

;well first off sorry for not updating. and sorry that so much of you guys want to kill me or hate me because jonghyun and hana are... going thru problems. hope you guys don't die of frustration because i know how it feels -.-

this week has been superrrrr long. it's homecoming week so everything's super hectic..... but i didn't even go to homecoming and just stayed home doing AP World History homework and watching dramas while eating ice cream with my umma. 

haha anyways,, so many of you want a pinky promise sequel! i've decided what fic i wanna do next but i'm not gonna tell (:

thanks for reading; commenting; and subscribing ♥♥
oh and ps. the picture up there that's supposed to be the picture is cheonggyecheon where Kwang and Hana met. beautiful right? it's my favorite place in Korea;; me and my brother walked thru the whole river barefooted about 2 years ago with my mom and dad ♥ it's amaaaazing.