Dear Jonghyun,

I think that you know that I left by now. You probably really hate me and I understand. I would hate me too.

It's funny, huh, how the fortune teller was right about us being seperated.

Please don't be hurt because of my leave. Even though it's abrupt and you say that you can't survive if I'm not near you, you can do without me. I know that your strong.

Take care of your body Jonghyun and promise me that you'll smile and laugh no matter what happens. Last promise. I know that I broke my other ones... but if you smile, my heart will be at rest.

~Choi Hana

PS.

Being the selfish girl that I am... I'm leaving you with my memories. I don't think that I can live on with a light heart if I carry you with me everywhere. I'm returning all of our memories together back to you... I think it's the only way I can move on.

You'll be okay without me.

Don't look for me and meet a good girlfriend so you can forget a horrible person like me.

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Choi Hana's POV:

I always seem to cry in the airplane.

I guess airplanes are like a symbol of goodbye for me. Goodbye to my home, goodbye to my mother and father, goodbye to my love.

"Hana-ah," My aunt and cousins greeted me at the airport.

"Noona!" the exclaimed, hugging my waist. They were still young with cheeky grins and no front teeth.

"Hey guys," I ruffled their hair.

"You look exhausted. Let's go home," my uncle said. We went into the car after baggage claim and the whole security check for international flights.

"Are you okay?" eemo asked.

I nodded and swept away a tear falling from my eye.

it up, Hana. Your the loser that left him.

I breathed in and plastered a smile on my face.

I'd better get used to doing this fake smile thing. I'd have to do it for the rest of my life.

During dinner, my aunt, uncle discussed schooling with me.

"So medical school?" my uncle asked, impressed.

I merely nodded.

"That's great!" my aunt exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

I gave her a fake smile.

"SHINee!" I heard my cousins shout all of a sudden. I whipped my head to see an old episode of Hello Baby.

"I love Shin Sekyung." Jonghyun said through the television.

I stuffed my rice down my throat and turned away from the TV.

I had to get rid of him from my mind. I thought that if I left my memories with him, it would be enough but whenever I see his face, I want to cry.

Hana...

I hate you so much. I never want to see you again. You took my heart and left with it. How can you leave me like this?

... Why can't I move on? What did you do to my heart?

You didn't even write that you loved me anywhere in this letter.

You didn't say that you would miss me.

What don't you understand about the fact that I can't live without you? Didn't you love me too? Wasn't it love? DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF STATE YOU LEFT ME IN?

What kind of heartless person like you can just leave me with your trace lingering on my body?

What am I supposed to do if you make me fall into your love and then force me out of it?

You don't know what you did to me.

I can't do anything without you. Not now, not ever.

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Jonghyun's POV:

"HANAAAA!!!!" I screamed clenching my chest and holding a jar in my hands.

"Hyung, what's wrong?!" Taemin rushed in to see me kneeling down and tears ferouciously falling down.

"She left me. SHE LEFT ME!" I threw the glass jar into the wall. It broke into a billion little pieces and fell violently to the floor. Cherry blossom petals cascaded down from the jar erupting along with the jar.

"Jonghyun..." Key and Onew emerged from the doorway.

"She just left. Without a word," I whispered weakly.I clenched my aching heart again. She had done this to me.

I pushed through the members and ran furiously out the door and went to the nearest convenience store to buy beer. On the way there, I passed the playground me and Hana were at when we were coming back from the cherry blossoms.

I passed halmoni's shop that I went to with Hana.

I drank and drank more beer as my vision started to blur and I felt that good feeling of becoming drunk.

I felt better... until I heard Hana's voice in my head urging me to stop drinking. Urging me to forget her. Urging me to move on.

I shook it off and chugged down the last drip of beer.

"JONGHYUN!" I heard Onew. He was in a hoodie and looked around to make sure no one was looking and threw me into the dorm.

"SHE LEFT ME!" I yelled.

"Don't be sad because she left you. Be happy... Would you like it if she gave you fake love?" Key persisted.

"It doesn't matter. I just want her near me... I can't go without her. I WANT TO TALK TO HER RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

"She's gone hyung," Taemin quietly said but the words struck me. I snapped close my phone and let it drop out of my hands.