Dear Hana.

I'm smiling and laughing everyday now. But why is it that whenever I smile, I hear your voice? Why is that whenever I laugh, I feel like your there laughing with me?

I'm doing great too. I'm getting closer with other idols and nowadays, my schedule is so packed that I barely have time to think. I remember when you used to make fun of me because I had too much free time.

Guess what Hana? I met someone new just like you told me to. She's just like you.

I do everything with her. I go see cherry blossoms, and we even look at the stars all night. Just like we used to do.

Whenever I'm with her, I feel so happy inside. It's because it reminds me about when we used to be perfect together.

Don't worry about me. I'm smiling and laughing everyday. Yet I'm crying everyday.

How are you? I miss you.

I wish the best for you. I love you.

-Kim Jonghyun (4 years ago).

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Choi Hana's POV:

*beep beep beep beep*

I slammed my hand on the alarm clock to shut it off. I felt... disgusting. I frowned and sat up in my bed and saw a huge wet mark where I was sleeping.

I had been too lazy and tired to change into my pajamas so I just slept with my wet dirty clothes from last night on...

So what happened last night? I ran away from Jonghyun and his girlfriend after holding my breath for almost 3 minutes in our "not-so-secret-anymore-waterfall" and throwing rocks to distract them. On my way home, the bus driver almost didn't let me on the bus because I looked so nasty. I felt my heart drop back down into my stomach where it was last night when I saw him with his girlfriend. I guess he really listened to me when I told him to forget about me.

I felt my phone vibrate and I picked it up.

"Hello?"
"Hey Hana, your coming to the 'Save the Children' thing today right?" I recognized Kikwang's voice.
"Yup..." I answered.
"Text me when you get here, okay?" he hung up all cheery.

I grunted and took and did my regular morning routine.

I got into a taxi and headed over to the Han Research Hospital in Seoul. Once I got there, I checked in so my professor would know that I actually came and give me my freaking graduation diploma. Next to my name was the hospital room I would be helping in. Room 53C. I headed up the elevator and walked into the room.

Kim Jonghyun's POV:

"I have to what?" Key asked.

"Santize the children where their subdeltoid bursa and humerus is. Make sure that there's no dirt or sweat or anything else on them and send them off to room 53C for detoxification if needed," the man explained to us. Me and Key glanced at each other.

The man walked off with his clipboard and started to bring us the children.

"Wait!" I shouted after the man but he just left us with the kids and some other doctors that were busy doing other things.

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked Key but he just shrugged and put the antibacterial stuff all over the kids' arms.

"Is that where their subdeltoid whatever is?" I questioned.

"How am I supposed to know?" Key patted the boy and told me to bring him to room 53C.

I grabbed the boy by the hand and led him to the room. The door was opened so I peeked in. There was a bunch of people in white suits giving shots and stuff. I shivered. I hate needles.

"Hyung where am I going?" the little boy tugged on the hem of my shirt. I looked down and smiled. He was so cute. Reminds me of Yoogeun. He had incredibly huge eyes.

"Your going to go in here and have them check you up," I reassured him even though I wasn't even sure. I could tell that he was nervous.

"HANA!" I heard all of a sudden. Someone pushed past me and the little boy and hugged a figure. The guy who pushed past me was Lee Kikwang from B2ST. He opened his arms and hugged a girl. I guess he wasn't scared about his image or paparazzi.

I looked again at the two hugging. The girl's face was buried into his arms. Her short hair and small figure was all too familiar. They parted from the hug but her back was towards me. DId Kikwang say Hana...?

The girl turned around and helped a little boy to get his shot. She beamed down at him lovingly and carefully did the procedure. She tucked her hair behind her ear and Kikwang put his hand on her shoulder and whispered something in her ear. She laughed with her signature laugh.

I couldn’t come up with any words.

I really didn't ever think that I'd see her again after 7 years.

My heart started to beat faster and faster and the world around me stopped.
Her bright and smiling face made my heart burn.
I have so much to say.... yet I have nothing to tell her.

"Hyung?" the little boy tugged on my shirt again but the feeling and sound felt so distant like I was in a tunnel.

"Hyungggggggg?" the boy tugged again.

"YAH HYUNG!" this time, someone smacked the back of my head. It was Minho this time.

"What are you doing here like this?" he asked. He took the little boy and led him into the room. I lifted my foot to follow but I looked at Hana again smiling, beaming, lighting up her whole face. Kikwang put his hands on her hips and she smiled but gently brushed his fingers off.

What was I feeling? Jealousy? Hate? Rage? Anger?

I thought I got over her. I thought I didn't care.

Minho was right. What was I doing standing here like an idiot?

I have Hyeyoung now. A beautiful girl who loves me truly and will never leave me.

I my heel and swiftly walked back into the other hospital room without looking back once. I didn't need to.

Choi Hana's POV:

"Change shifts!" the head doctor clapped his hands and dismissed everyone. 

"Finally," I sighed. I took off my gloves and my white coat off.

"Let's eat," Kikwang said, leading me out with his hand on my shoulder.

"So touchy today," I laughed.

"Yeah," Kikwang chuckled awkwardly. We headed to the hospital cafe while the other doctors and half of the other celebrities took our place. I still didn't understand why the celebrities and idols were here anyway. Most were just updating their twitters with selcas with the little kids showing off their "kind and pure hearts".

"What do you want to eat?" Kikwang asked, putting his arm around me.

"Kimchi Stew!" I shrieked excitedly. I hadn't had Korean food in forever. I always ate the American food provided at the school cafeteria and I had no time to make my own Korean food. My fridge was empty except for soda and ice cream. Heh.

"Okay, I'll order," Kikwang smiled and motioned for me to sit down. I sat down where I saw Doojoon and Dongwoon.

"GUYS!" I exclaimed as I sat down.

"HANA! YOUR HERE!" they greeted me with hugs and pats.

"Did Kikwang tell you? You don't seem as surprised as you should be," I joked.

"Yeah, he said you'd be here. But we're in different rooms," Doojoon frowned.

"Oh well, I'd probably only yell at you if you were helping in my hospital room," I laughed. Me, Doojoon and Dongwoon reminisced our past memories together while Kikwang was waiting in the line to order his food.

"Dongwoon!" I heard a male say.

I turned towards the direction of the voice to see a blonde idol walking towards our table waving.

"That's Key from SHINee. He's my best friend," Dongwoon grinned, "Do you know him?"

Yes I know him. I know him too well in fact... I blinked a couple of times looking around to hide behind or under something but he was coming closer. I'd look like an idiot if I hid under the table. I couldn't hide behind my chair, I'd look like an idiot.

AHA! I spotted a salt shaker and waved my arm dramatically across the table making the salt shaker drop onto the floor.

"Hey guys!" I heard Key's voice as I bent down to grab the salt shaker.

"Hey, where've you been? I was looking for you everywhere!" Dongwoon exclaimed.

"Sorry. I was busy with putting anti-bacterial stuff over children's arms," Key said proudly. Oh, so Key was the one that was messing up the sanctifying process.

"I heard that you messed that up," Doojoon joked.

"Whatever. I did good. Who's that?" Key asked. I could tell that he was talking about me.

"Is that Nicole?" He asked.

"No, it's our friend from the States," Dongwoon explained.

"What is she doing?" Key asked.

"I don't know. Say hi, Hana!" Doojoon said.

Oh my God.

I stuck my hand out from under the table and waved at him. Key awkwardly waved back.

"Is she ugly? Is that why she's hiding under the table?" Key asked. Wow. That was just so... typical Key.

"No, she's really pretty and cute. I don't know what she's doing under the table though," Dongwoon laughed.

"Just picking up the salt!" I said, hoping that Key would go away.

"Oh... Okay well I"m going to get some food," Key said, saying bye.

Thank the Lord.

I got up from under the table and Kikwang came back with the kimchi stew and some rice.

I inhaled the scent of the food and smiled, my stomach grumbling. I picked up the spoon and started eating.

"She still eats like a man," Doojoon said with no hint of sarcasm in his voice at all.

"Hey," I warned with rice on my lips.

"She's cute," Kikwang smiled. I didn't know how to respond to that statement so I just kept on eating. So yummy.

After lunch, we went back into the hospital room and worked the whole day. By the end of the day, I was so exhausted that I wanted to faint and I had to walk home. Being the idiot that I was, I didn't bring any money for the bus, subway, or taxi ride back to the hotel.

Kikwang offered me a ride home but I didn't want him to. I knew how scary fans could be with something like this. Besides, his manager was slightly glaring at me the whole time Kikwang tried to persuade me.

I google mapped the way to my hotel and it would take 25 minutes to walk back. I sighed but started walking trying to find something good out of the situation.

I decided that this would be my little Welcome-back-to-Seoul-here's-a-tour-for-you-just-in-case-you-forgot-how-Seoul's-streets-looked-like. While I was walking, I thought about the past. The shine of the moon and city lights on the street was so familiar and loving.

It reminded me of ajhumma. The ajhumma that me and Jonghyun went to go buy ice cream from... The one that owned a ramen shop 7 years ago. I turned back around and made a bee line for the ajhumma's shop. I smiled when I saw the cute little sign that said the name of the store on it.

I walked in and opened the door. It made a little twinkling sound, alerting that a customer had come. There were a few couples eating ramen and I saw halmoni waking around, drying her hands on her little apron. She worked hard and diligently. It made my heart hurt to see that she had aged so much during those 7 years from hard labor.

"Hello," she welcomed me. As soon as she laid her eyes on me though, her eyes widened.

"Hana-ah..."

"Ajhumma," I ran into her arms. For some reason, tears started to leak out of my eyes.

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short and not so amazing :( sorry i haven't updated in about a week. i've been super busy.

thank you guys for your comments and subscriptions and support. i really appreciated it. you guys make me happy ^_____^

hope you enjoyed! <3