I talked with ajhumma for endless hours. We laughed and remembered the good old days when me and Jonghyun would go down in the middle of the night to buy some ice cream. As I was walking back home, I marveled in all of Seoul's lights that I hadn't seen for 7 years.

On one of the huge TV screens attached onto a side of a building played an ad with Kim Jonghyun on it, smiling and holding up the drink that he was advertising for the whole Seoul population to see.

Well that's ironic.

I sighed and thought about what I saw last night. Him and his girl were in our "secret waterfall" laughing and kissing and doing what disgusting affectionate couples would do with each other.

Was it even right to feel jealous and sad? I was being so selfish. I couldn't decide to take back Jonghyun whenever I wanted to. Especially if he loved someone else.

I just kept walking and passed by a pojangmacha. I unconciously gave the drunkards in there a disappointed look.

"HEY BABE COME HOME WITH ME!" a guy about the same age as me winked at me.

"Get some!" one of his friends howled, leading the others erupting into laughter. What was this, a bar?

I scoffed trying to ignore them and walked into the pojangmacha. I was just in the mood to eat something cheap.

"Ajhumma, can you get me some of the noodles?" I shouted. The ajhumma nodded and started to make them for me. I sighed and laid my head on the plastic table.

I missed Jonghyun. I mean, I missed him the whole time I was in the States but now that I'm in Korea, I see his face more and more. It makes my heart ache for him. The ajhumma put the bowl of noodles on the table and I ate and cried like a loser.

The old men and other people in the pojangmacha stared at me like I was stupid. I was practically wailing now, letting my salt tears drop on the spicy noodles.

Flashback:

"You were the one that let him go, Hana.... Why?" Ajhumma asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"It was the right thing to do. How would we have been able to be in love over the internet and webcam?" I asked, frustrated.

"Well you love him now don't you? And you haven't seen him for 7 years..."

---------

Ajhumma was right. Everything just happened so fast that I didn't even really think about what I was doing to myself. I knew that we could've made it work between us somehow but for some reason I just left.

I was scared. I was scared that he would break up with me first. I was scared that if we kept loving, our love would just keep getting tighter and tighter until we finally sprung. I was scared that if I loved him from across the seas, he would cheat and lie. It's easy to cheat and lie if your girlfriend is on a webcam.

I don't even know what I'm thinking. I must be crazy right? A crazy selfish little girl. Stupid.

Jonghyun's POV:

I gathered up all my strength and moved my dresser from the corner of my room. I clambered down and all the clothes fell out onto a rumble on the floor but I didn't care.

I stepped over my clothes and saw a jar in the corner where my dresser was standing. It was a jar containing cherry blossom petals and a single note. A note that I never read because I was afraid of falling in love with her again or hating her even more. 

I carefully screwed open the jar. It wasn't the original. 7 years ago I had threw the original jar against the wall.

I dug my hand through the blossoms until my hand touched the note. I grabbed a hold of it and opened it up.

A million cherry blossom petals for Kim Jonghyun.

That's all it said. I shoved the note back into the jar and put it back into the corner of the room frustrated.

I wanted to throw it away so bad.

"Jonghyun?"

I looked up. Hyeyoung was standing in the doorway. She looked around my room.

"What happened?" she asked. My dresser was toppled on the floor and there was clothes strewn everywhere.

"I was just looking for something," I replied. Not a lie.

"What's this?" Hyeyoung walked over to where the jar of cherry blossoms were.

"A gift from a fan," I lied.

"There's a note in there!" Hyeyoung exclaimed.

"Wait don-" I started but Hyeyoung already had screwed the jar open. The wind from the open window made the cherry blossoms fly out of the apartment in a hurry.

"WAIT!" I yelled. I jumped up and leaped to the window but I couldn't do anything to get them back. I just watched as they danced away from my apartment out of the jar in Hyeyoung's hands.

"Oops..." Hyeyoung said.

I wanted to punch her but I refrained.

"The note's kind of creepy," Hyeyoung scrunched up her nose. I snatched the note and the jar away from her and tossed it into my closet.

"Jonghyu-...." Hyeyoung started.

"Why'd you do that?!" I turned around and screamed at her.

"But.... I didn't know. It's just a gift from a fan. It's not like your ever going to meet her or anything," Hyeyoung protruted. She wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Don't yell at me...." she cooed.

I sighed and turned around and hugged her back.

Kikwang's POV:

"Hana.... Are you awake?" I waved my hand in front of Hana's face when she started to stir.

"Wha?" She blinked and sat right up in her bed, "Where am I."

"Your hotel room, stupid," I laughed.

"Oh..." she calmed down, "Wait what happened? When did i get here? Why are you here?"

"You passed out at the pojangmacha and the ajhumma just called the last person you talked to," I explained.

"I passed ou- WHAT?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?" Hana started to freak out again.

"The doctor just said stress build up. Funny, how you need a doctor- but your a medical student," I laughed.

Hana gave me a weird look but then she started laughing too. We were just sitting there laughing.

"You need to relieve your stress," I declared.

"I'll worry about that later," Hana said.

"How about tomorrow?" I asked and gave her a wink.

"Don't you have any schedules?" she asked.

"No."

"After I do my homework," Hana said, "I mean, the one reason I'm here is to quickly get this project over with and graduate, right?"

I nodded. I admired her so much.

"Okay after the project, call me or something. I want to relieve your stress," I gave her a wide smile.

We talked for a little while and I further explained what happened. She fell asleep and I left her room. I locked the hotel room door beside me so no one could get in while she was sleeping and touched the ring in my back pocket and sighed.

I'm finally going to really confess tomorrow. I promise myself.

~~~

unedited. there might be some mistakes but your comments made me want to update ^____^ okay goodnight! (: