“Yah! I’m not stranded in a desert, aren’t I? Say something! Anybody?” I moved my gaze away as I saw Ricky sneakily glared at me, I knew he wished me to start the talk. But I was still too astonished by everything. “You said something just now.” I choked on my ice cream hearing Heeyoung’s words. Checkmate, Ricky-ah.

The awkward silence between us three faded slowly but surely. But then the culprit suddenly had to go, leaving me and Heeyoung alone there. Purposely, I thought. And I was right. The text he sent me later said so. I had to admit that I was happy to get a free time with her, just to get to know her more. But the worries if she didn’t feel comfortable for just being with me all alone couldn’t leave my mind.

“So…?” Heeyoung startled me, I was spacing out after reading Ricky’s text. I smiled at her, delaying some time to think what I should say to her about Ricky. Wait, is she blushing? Did I embarrass her or something? I scratched my unitchy head, chuckling to shrug my weird thoughts off. Soon, brilliant idea popped in my mind. “Ricky-ah babo! He didn’t leave us any bucks to pay his bill!” I cursed Ricky.

The girl looked at me and started laughing along with me. Oh happiness. “He must have got it from babo Chunji.” That babo Chunji thingy amazed me for the umpteenth time. Even she already knew about that joke and freely used it around.

We successfully made the atmosphere warmer after sharing talks and jokes. I had to admit that we easily got attached, not sure whether it’s just her easy going nature. The most important thing I just did was asking for her number. Man, Choi Changjo asked for a girl’s number for the very first time in history. Clap for me.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I innocently asked her all of a sudden. But I really got to make sure of that, or else this number of her would be all useless, right? Later I realized, probably I sounded way too serious when I asked her that. She looked so damn flustered by my question.

“Mwo? No! I’ve never had any relationships before. My best friend when I was in the US is a boy. We’re so close that others think we’re dating. Maybe that’s why there wasn’t any boy who came to me. And I think I don’t look that girly for them either.” But you’re just perfect for me. Should I come to you?

She kept hanging her head low, eating her ice cream seriously. I noticed a small stain at the tip of when she slightly raised her head. “Ah, wait.” I unconsciously moved my thumb there to wipe it, totally had no idea that it would make a big impact for both of us later. Especially her.

“Uhm, s-sorry. I-it’s my reflex. You left a bit of ice cream there.” Undoubtedly I stuttered, she was still staring blankly at me, made me feel guiltier than ever. I kept cursing at myself inside for the sudden skinship. I really hoped she wouldn’t be mad for it. Because honestly I was happy instead. Keke.

We were walking down the street soon, and I personally hated to end the date. “Eh? Shouldn’t you walk that way and take the subway?” She just realized I was walking beside her all along back to the apartment. “What? You expected me to leave right away? Of course I can’t!” I laughed at her question.

“Why can’t you?” asked her again, with that confused face of her. But cute, still. “How could I let you walk back home alone? Ricky would kill me if I let you!” I made my answer as a scoffing without realizing that her mind could interpreted it in a wrong way. “O-of course I couldn’t let myself either. No, it wasn’t because of Ricky! He’s just another reason! Walking you back home is my will! Really!” The truth slipped out of my mouth, wishing it could correct his previous words.

She laughed, I didn’t know for what. “Yah! It’s still 6 and my place is just two blocks away please!” She insisted to go home alone. Unfortunately I’ve promised myself to walk you home from now on forever, dear.

“Andwae.” I intertwined my fingers with hers, started dragging her faster. “Come on.” I knew I was getting more brave with my actions. I wouldn’t care with how it might come to her mind, but I just felt like doing it. I took a big risk by intertwining my fingers with hers in our very first date, my other fingers were crossed wishing upon the unseen stars that it would be okay. Then, all I knew was that she held my hand tighter.

The world felt like mine. Really.

We were holding hands, laughing teasing each other on our way back to the apartment. She shooed me when we arrived at the gate, but I wouldn’t let go of her hand. “I’m walking you home and we haven’t arrived at the exact place yet.” I grinned winningly at her. “Haish!” She snorted and took me by my hand inside. She was the one whom dragging me then.

The elevator was empty, just having these two awkward kids inside. What’s funny was that we were holding hands in silence. Yeah, I repeated, we’re still holding hands.

“We’ve arrived.” My heart paused when she said ‘we’. It gave me the feeling that we’re a couple somehow. Soon, I promise you. “Hurry go back home before it’s late.” The slight care in her voice made my day.

“Uh.. Okay.” I shrugged in disappointments. “Changjo-ssi,” She called me, one of her eyebrows raised. But she didn’t continue, confusing me. “What?” I asked her in the end. Her gaze moved down to our twined hands, I was holding her hand still. “Oh my, I’m sorry!” I laughed at my stupidity, sure enough my face was flushed. She laughed too, her cheeks were slightly pinkish. Glad to make you laugh, Heeyoung-ah.

I couldn’t help myself not to dial her number that night. I sunk my teeth deeper onto my lower lip in every waiting beep I heard. “Yah L.Joe! I’ve replied your text! At least give me a sec to type! Gosh, why you’re so impatient?! I always keep my promise!” I was shocked by the sudden shouts, worried if I dialed the wrong number. But to me, clear enough it’s her voice. I held back my laughter, yet I was worried if I embarrassed her right away since she thought I was that whoever called L.Joe. “What now, Lee Byunghun? Say something or I won’t go out with you tomorrow!”

“H-Heeyoung?” I shut her up this time, she didn’t respond back, ultimate silence. “It’s me Changjo.” I added. Hearing my name, she rushingly begged me for forgiveness after accidentally scolding me. She spluttered everything out just to make me forgive her. I just laughed at her total cuteness, “It’s okay. Things like that happened everytime.”

I started teasing her and such, myself was shocked by my own cheesy words on her. He kept laughing at her, happy enough just to hear her voice, even if she scolded him. “What is it by the way? Why did you call me?” Babo, I’m interested in you. “Can’t I?” I asked her back calmly.

“O-of course you can! You can call me anytime! I’m just-“ Did she stutter? Am I making my way there? I laughed again, “I miss your scolding already. Your scolding to that Lee Byunghun-ssi made me forget why I called you.” I was curious who the heck that Lee Byunghun. Her love interest? Whoever he is, I started getting jealous of him. The way she talked to him was nothing like an usual friend. Shut up, Changjo. You only met her for the first time.

The weeks after went weird for me. I really wanted to see her again but she’s kinda busy with some sort of projects, she said. I just wished it wasn’t her excuse not to meet me. I kept worrying if she might get traumatized by what I did in our first date before.

I was spending my time, thinking about her like what I had been doing after the first time I met her, when Ricky called. Code red, he said. Of course I got what he meant. Since I knew her, we never talked about another particular things. We just talked about her. Well, it’s me, kept talking about her to him. I didn’t really care if he got annoyed by it. I just felt like talking about her everytime.

You should get going. Be faster. His words made me nervous. I totally had no idea whom those guys were. That Byunghun guy, maybe? And who else? If Ricky said it in plural term, there must be more than one, right? Damn it, what should I do?

Well, honestly I understood completely what he wants me to do. But this fast? Really? We just even met for once! That girl would think I’m crazy!

But despite those worries, I want to make her mine. I just have to. It’s a must.

Coincidentally Heeyoung texted me that night, asking how I’d been doing. The hype got me called her instead of replying her text. The talk we had, her laughs, her voice, are some of the best things in the world to me. That night I told her straight how I’d been missing her. I have no idea since when I turned to be this Cheesy Changjo everytime I talk to her. No matter how she keeps telling me she’s annoyed by this Cheesy Changjo, I’d like to bet that she likes it somehow. You may say I was being overconfident just to cheer myself up, because it’s all true.

On the next Saturday, I walked nervously to her place, picking her up. I even stumbled on pebbles before as my insanity decreased. That day Choi Changjo picked a girl up for a date on the first time in his life. I should write that one down in my personal history later.

I made the bell called for her inside. Later that beautiful figure I’d been missing showed up in front of me, smiling like an angel. Well, she is an angel. To me, at least. I awkwardly greeted her, and the atmosphere went more awkward when my mother-in-law, okay let me correct it, when her mom appeared as well. She smiled warmly at my greeting, a good sign? Keke.

The trip we took was like a trip in a silent hill. Total silence. We didn’t have Ricky to melt down the awkwardness like in our first met. I was the one struggling on my own, trying to start a talk with her.

I took her to my favorite restaurant, wishing it would be our favorite, not just mine anymore. I really wanted to make one of my favorite places to be memorable for her, just to remember me. My fingers crossed, wishing another wish for myself to successfully make it.

“Heeyoung-ah,” I started, hesitantly looking at her who’s having the dessert. “Yeah?” Our gazes met as she raised her head to see me. I reflexively moved my gaze away from that beautiful eyes.

I inhaled deeply before putting my hand on hers, encouraging myself to look at her right into the eyes. I wasn’t sure if it’s just me or her hand turned colder for real. “Heeyoung-ah… Do you..uhm.. Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Finally those words came out from my mouth, screw the stutters.

She gasped, staring blankly at me. “C-come again?” I knew she asked me just to make sure. I knew she heard it clear enough before. “I love you. Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I repeated in one breath, shooing away the uneasiness.

“I d-don’t know, I…I think I’m…” I didn’t know why but I had actually got that bad feeling on it. I just knew it’s coming. But the show must go on, although I had to gamble on how the result would come out to be. “I think I’m not ready for it yet. I’m sorry, Changjo.” She looked down on her lap.

I sighed. I had taken the risks, and then I had to deal with the consequences. That wasn’t the way I wanted it to be, of course. But what’s done is done. I had tried.

I lifted her chin slowly to face me, I smiled at her. I wiped her tears using my thumb, it shocked me to see her cry. Why is she the one who’s crying? Shouldn’t it be me? The smile was still on my face as I kept wiping her tears. “It’s okay. You don’t have to cry. I’m the one who should be crying now.” But I really didn’t want to. I didn’t even hold it. There’s no tears in my eyes that moment. I didn’t even feel any kind of sadness I should had felt. Instead, I felt guilty to make her cry. I made her cry.

“It’s okay, Heeyoung. It’s okay, please stop crying. I don’t want to see your tears. Your tears hurt me too.” She tried her best to prevent her tears from flowing down more, but she failed. She stared at me, troubled to speak her mind out. “I love you no matter what.” I told her again. I just got to tell her that over and over again. Because I really do. I really really do.

I smiled as I turned my head to see her after noticing her glance at me. I spreaded my arm, later she started sobbing again in my hug. “Ssshh… You should stop, Heeyoung-ah. Really.” I patted her back slowly. “Calm yourself, I didn’t mean to make you like this.” I couldn’t stand seeing her crying. I made her cry, remember. It’s because of me. I ruined our day. I did.

“I’m sorry, Changjo-ya.” She whispered, still burying her face on my shoulder. I stayed silent, I started her hair to soothe her instead. “Changjo-ya,”

“Hm?” I smiled again at her as I wiped her wet cheeks. She sighed, leaning her head back on my shoulder. “I just want you to know,” she paused. I waited for her to continue, not to rush her. “I love you too.”

I blushed, fortunately she didn’t see me. My heart stopped. She….loves me? My tongue was tied, I couldn’t respond her words. Because I would just tell her that I love her over and over again. And it wasn’t the right respond, I guess.

I planted a kiss on her head to answer, leaving a small trace for her to know how I really do love her. “Come on, we’ve arrived.” I helped her getting up and hopped off the subway. Her head kept hanging low, I totally had no idea why.

I walked away from her doorstep after bidding each other goodbye. “Changjo-ya! Wait!” I turned my body at her call, to see her approaching me, running. We had that staring contest in a sudden, before she startled me with a tight hug around my stiff body without saying a word. Hesitating, I hugged her back.

She buried her face onto my chest, later I could feel the shirt I was wearing slowly turned wet as she started crying again. I didn’t have another idea what I was supposed to do than pulling her closer into my embrace.

“Thanks for loving me.” She told me after she finally showed her face, her smiling face, bitter one. “You’re the first guy ever who confessed to me. You really didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” She spluttered. I didn’t deserve it.

I forced myself to smile back at her, “It’s okay. You love me too, that’s all I need to know.” I hugged her once again before leaving her place for real.