You were awakened by the sunlight shining in your eyes. You rolled over in your bed, stretching your arms out wide as you did so.

“Oww…”

You quickly withdrew your arms when you realized you’d hit something. Your eyes flew open in surprise, but your face relaxed into a smile when you saw what you’d hit. Or rather, whom you’d hit.

“Morning,” Yongguk mumbled. He had a contented smile on his face, and his eyes were half open and puffy from sleep. He reached out to pull you towards him, and you snuggled happily into his arms.

This had to be the best feeling in the world.

You buried your face into his bare chest as he kissed the top of your head. You could hardly believe how things had turned out. Just twenty-four hours ago, you’d been absolutely miserable, thinking that this man had walked out on you for good. Now, here he was, in your bed, holding you again. Your arm slipped around him and you trailed a hand down his back, relishing in the way his skin felt beneath your fingertips.

He was real. This was not a dream.

He hugged you tighter, pressing your body into his. It made you suddenly aware of how completely you both were, and how very aroused he was. With a laugh, you pulled away from him, your eyes flicking towards the clock on the wall in the process. “You were supposed to be at work half an hour ago.”

His eyes followed yours and he groaned. “I’ll tell everyone it was your fault.”

“How is it my fault?” you protested.

“You’re the one who kept me up all night,” he answered with a mischievous grin, pulling you in for a soft kiss. “And you’re the one who’s making me not want to get out of bed right now.”

“Yeah, sure, you should totally tell our colleagues about our life,” you said dryly. “It wouldn’t be inappropriate at all. Wait… do they all think I’m pregnant?”

Yongguk laughed. “Fortunately, I doubt so. Himchan didn’t say anything in front of them other than the fact that you were ill. He only told me privately that he was pretty sure you were pregnant. Damn, I sometimes forget how good of an actor he is.”

“You’re such an easy victim,” you scoffed. “If he really thought that you’d gotten me pregnant, do you think he’d sit down and tell you about it nicely? I’m pretty sure the first thing he’d have done was to beat you up.”

“Good point,” he agreed, smiling sheepishly. “However he did it, I guess I’d have to thank him. If he hadn’t told that lie, I might never have apologized, and we wouldn’t be here now.”

“Yeah, you’re kinda mule-headed,” you joked.

His eyes widened and his hands went to your sides immediately, tickling you mercilessly. “Ya, what did you call me?”

You shrieked with laughter and twisted your body in an attempt to escape him, but he was much stronger than you. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” you cried out, gripping his arms tightly and trying to push them away from you. “You’re the sweetest, most understanding boyfriend ever!”

He frowned as he released you, but you could see in his eyes that he was secretly a little happy. “Now you’re just patronizing me.”

You took advantage of that break to slip out of the bed, sticking your tongue out at him. “Yeah, I am.”

His laughter sounded like music to your ears. He pointed his finger at you and curled it, beckoning you. “Ya, get back here.”

You picked your shirt off the floor and put it on. “No, you get out of bed. Everyone is sitting in the studio waiting for you right now. How do you expect them to start work if you’re not there?”

Yongguk pouted, but climbed out of bed after you anyway. He stood before you and crossed his arms like a clingy child. It was kinda cute, but you weren’t about to tell him that. “Are you feeling better? Do you still feel nauseous?”

You shook your head, finding his shirt and helping him pull it over his head. “Nope. I feel all better now, after some TLC from my boyfriend.” You couldn’t help smiling to yourself when you said that. The fact that your heart was whole again still hadn’t completely sunk in yet. “I can even come to work with you today, if you need me.”

“Nah. You may be one of the most important women in my life, but in the office, we don’t really need you that much.”

“Ya, you wanna die?”

He laughed and pulled you into his arms. “I’m kidding. But you should stay home and rest a little more, just to be safe. You can come back tomorrow. I’m sure your producer would understand that you need some time to recuperate.”

“I don’t know…” you said, pretending to think hard about it. “He’s kind of a jerk.”

He managed to land a light smack on your before you pranced away from him, both of you laughing. It was nice, being able to bicker teasingly with each other again. You vowed to yourself that you were going to cherish Yongguk this time, no matter what might happen. He tugged his pants on and ran his hand quickly through his hair, glancing at the clock again. “I’m going to run back to the dorm and wash up and get a change of clothes, and then I’ll be heading straight down to the studio. Will you be fine on your own?”

“Yes, oppa. I’m not going to die without your supervision.”

“Hey, I left you alone for a few weeks, and you nearly died,” he retorted. He came up to you, his brow creased with concern. “Remember to get something to eat and take your medicine, okay? Get something light enough for your stomach to process, preferably some kind of soup. Don’t eat junk food. Don’t eat any kimchi; it’s too acidic for you right now. Don’t eat anything spicy or—”

“I got it, grandpa,” you cut him off. “I’ll make sure to go out and get myself some sick-people food, alright? I have some errands to run anyway.”

“You shouldn’t be running around—”

You pushed him in the direction of the door. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. “Hurry now. You’re already late!”

“Fine, I’ll see you tonight when I get back.” He let you steer him to the door, but poked his head in and gave you a quick peck on the lips before he left, grinning from ear to ear. “Love you.”

You felt a warm, tingly feeling spread under your skin. Your world felt almost like it was falling into place again. Now, you just had to do one more thing and everything would be perfect.

You sat alone at your table in the café, twisting the wrapper of your straw nervously. You weren’t sure why you were sitting there doing what you were about to do. In fact, you weren’t sure you were ready to do it, but somehow, you’d felt compelled to.

“Hana.” A voice caused you to look up. You offered him a small smile and he sat down in front of you. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”

“I didn’t think I’d want to either,” you admitted. “But I think it’s better if I sort everything out before it gets any worse.”

Dongwoon smiled slightly, and you noticed how pale he looked. His face looked almost gaunt, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was usually radiant, but today, his ashy-brown hair made his face look dull and colorless. It pained you to think that he was this way because of you. Was this how Yongguk had felt when he was looking at you?

“I’m really sorry about what I did,” he said, his eyes pleading with you for forgiveness. “There’s no excuse for the way I behaved and I understand if you never want to talk to me again…”

“Yongguk oppa and I are back together,” you blurted out.

“Oh.” You saw the flash of disappointment in his eyes before he grew silent and looked down at the table. There was a long moment of silence before he looked back up at you and smiled at you with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. “I’m happy for you.”

You obviously weren’t fooled. “Dongwoon ah, you don’t—”

“No, really,” he interrupted you. He sighed. “I knew it was a long shot, trying to get another chance with you. As much as I hate to admit, he makes you happy in a way that I can’t even come close to. You know, you look completely different now compared to how you did a few days ago. Right now, you’re like… glowing with happiness.”

You bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from smiling like a lunatic when you thought of Yongguk. “I am happy. But I don’t want to be the reason why you’re unhappy.”

“You’re not,” he assured you. “I’m the reason why I’m unhappy. I shouldn’t have gotten myself involved knowing that you were attached, and I shouldn’t have made a move when you were heartbroken. I was just so afraid that if I didn’t do something when you were apart, then you were going to get back together and I’d lose my chance…” He caught himself rambling and looked down, taking a deep breath and letting out a shaky laugh before looking you in the eyes. “But I guess it was inevitable, huh? You guys getting back together?”

You stirred your drink, not knowing what to do with your hands. You’d never felt so nervous in front of Dongwoon before. He was always so easy and comfortable to be around. “Well, I really thought it was over for good this time, but I guess… I mean, it’s what I wanted. I wanted him back.” Dongwoon nodded and looked away. He obviously didn’t need to hear your touching reunion story. “Dongwoon ah… I asked you out today because I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

He looked at you, surprised. “You don’t have to be.”

“I do,” you insisted. “I should have been more aware of what was happening. Everyone called you my ex-boyfriend but I was turning a blind eye to it, insisting you were just a friend. You were right, we do have a lot of fun hanging out together, and I guess I wanted it to be just as simple as that. I didn’t stop to consider your feelings at all. Even Soojung warned me…”

He chuckled. “That girl… She knows more than I give her credit for. She doesn’t have good intentions, but she’s smart. I was trying to work my way into your heart slowly but she thought that if she spilled the beans for me, you’d flat-out reject me, and I’d give up hope.”

You smiled. “She seems to like you a lot.”

Dongwoon shrugged. “It would be much easier if I could fall for someone who already likes me, wouldn’t it? But unfortunately, we can’t will our hearts to feel a certain way.”

You pursed your lips, feeling the atmosphere feel slightly frosty again. “I really hope we can still be friends.”

“No, we can’t.”

The cold way in which he said that made your eyes widen in surprise. His expression was stony and you didn’t know how to react to that. You just sat gaping at him for a moment.

“At least, not right now,” he said gently, giving you a small smile. “I’m sorry, but from the first moment we ran into each other again, I never really had the intention of being just friends. Seeing you more mature and more beautiful, my heart was swayed. Everything I did for you this whole time had an ulterior motive, and I’d be ashamed to say I was being a good friend. But don’t worry, I’m going to give up graciously now.” He stuck his hand out across the table. “Hello, my name is Son Dongwoon, and I’m 23 years old. Can we be friends?”

At that moment, he smiled brightly, and you saw the sincerity in his eyes. He looked like his old cheerful self again. You grinned at him and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kim Hana, and we’re the same age. I’m sure we’re going to be good friends.”

You held eye contact with each other for a moment before bursting into laughter at the same time. “Let me just say this,” he said, his usual mischief apparent in his voice again. “I may be giving up for now, but tell Bang Yongguk that if he hurts you again, I’m going to swoop in like a knight in shining armor and steal you.”

You laughed. “I’ll be sure to let him know.”

Maybe things were going to be alright after all.

That night, you had dinner with the boys at their dorm for the first time in a really long time. There was laughter all around and everyone was comfortable. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d gathered like this, and having all the six rowdy boys talking and laughing over each other turned out to be something you really missed.

After dinner, the boys decided it was going to be movie night, and while everyone excitedly got the living room comfortable and picked a movie, Daehyun stayed in the kitchen to help you prepare fruits for everyone.

“I’m really glad to see you smiling again, noona,” he told you, his eyes twinkling as he helped you wash some apples. “And Yongguk hyung too. When you guys fight, the atmosphere is so depressing that all of us can’t help but be affected too.”

“Sorry,” you replied, giving him an apologetic smile. “Sometimes I forget how close you guys are. Did you guys feel like kids watching your squabbling parents go through a divorce?”

Daehyun grunted at you with irritation. “Noona, I told you a million times to stop thinking of us as kids! I’m an adult! I have dated and I know what it’s like to—”

You shut him up by stuffing a slice of orange in his mouth. “Yes, you’re such a big boy now, aren’t you?” you teased. He chewed on the orange happily and was silent for a moment.

“I’m serious,” he insisted after he swallowed the fruit in his mouth. “I can drive, I can vote, I can even watch adult movies…”

“Ya, ya, ya, Jung Daehyun! Why are you talking about adult movies with my sister?” Himchan announced his presence in his usual loud manner as he strutted into the kitchen. He let out a string of Japanese sentences which you understood none of, but from the way he was glaring at you and Daehyun, you inferred that it could be nothing good. With their Japanese debut approaching, he’d been doing that a lot and it annoyed the hell out of you.

Daehyun scowled at him. “I was just trying to—”

Even though he’d asked a question, Himchan didn’t really care for the answer and he didn’t hesitate to let Daehyun know that. “Ya, go help them move the pillows. I’m too handsome to be doing manual labor.”

Daehyun left after sticking his tongue out at his hyung, and Himchan moved to stand beside you, although he did nothing to help you as you started cutting the fruits. Whether it was at home or in the dorm, he never lifted a finger to help with anything. His role was always to “supervise” and you’d gotten used to it over the years. “So,” he said smugly, folding his arms across his chest. “I see you two have sorted things out. Don’t you think you ought to thank your clever brother?”

You turned to him and flicked your wet hands at him, causing him to sputter and step backwards as droplets of water splashed into his face. “Ya, why the hell did you lie that I was pregnant? Do you know how embarrassing it is? What if the whole office thinks I really am?”

He snapped at you in Japanese again before putting his arm around your neck threateningly. “Oh, you’re one to talk. Why did he believe me so readily if there was absolutely no possibility of it happening? What have you two been doing? Do you need your oppa to remind you to practice safe ?”

You turned to your side and glared at him. “You might not want to talk so much when I’m holding a knife in my hand.”

“How dare you threaten your brother with a knife?” he exclaimed. “I’ll tell Eomma.” You stuck your tongue out at him and continued cutting the fruits. “By the way, make yourself free next weekend. I told our parents that we’re going home for dinner and I, um… I’m bringing Hyosungie.”

You gasped and turned to him, seeing him blush. It was great news, and you were genuinely happy for him, since he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in a long time. “Aww, my oppa is getting serious. I bet Eomma will be so happy that our baby Channie is finally growing up!”

In response, he ran his hand under the tap and flicked some water at you, causing you to yelp and flinch while he laughed loudly.

“Ya, Kim Himchan, are you bullying my girlfriend again?” The deep baritone voice of Yongguk interrupted your little skirmish, and you turned to see him standing in the doorway, his adorable gummy smile on his face. “Are you guys done? The movie’s starting.”

You placed the last of the cut fruits onto a plate and dropped the knife in the sink. You handed the plate to Himchan. “Here, bring these out.”

He took it and headed out of the kitchen, but paused at the doorway to address Yongguk. “Ya, you shouldn’t live so dangerously.”

Yongguk’s brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at you for an explanation, but you just shook your head and turned to wash your hands in the sink. He came up to you and put his arms around you, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “You don’t have to do all this. You’ll spoil the kids.”

“Well, someone has to make sure you’re all healthy, right?” you teased. “All that ramyun can’t be good for you.”

He lifted his arm to his nose. “The guys say after we broke up, I’ve been eating so much ramyun that I smell like it. Do I?”

You sniffed his arm. “Do you?” You turned and sniffed his neck, inhaling his warm scent. He still smelled as good as before. “Nope. Not to worry. Now that I’m back, your days of poor nutrition are over.”

He pouted. “But I like ramyun.” He looked like a child at that moment, and you couldn’t resist laughing before you leaned up to give him a peck on the lips. He held on to you tightly when you tried to pull away, extending the kiss for a few more seconds. He grinned when you finally broke apart. “Luckily, I like you more.”

“What an honor,” you said sarcastically, making a face at him.

“So, what did you do today?”

He’d asked the question casually, but somehow you felt a little guilty. You looked down for a moment and wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest. “I met Dongwoon today.”

Yongguk said nothing, but you could feel his body stiffen slightly.

“You were right about his motives,” you continued. “He confessed this week.”

“Huh.”

You could feel the tension in Yongguk’s body, and you pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I rejected him. Today, I met him to tell him we’re back together and he promised me he’s going to give up. We’re strictly just friends now.”

You could tell from Yongguk’s dark expression that he wasn’t buying any of the whole ‘friends’ story, but he looked at you for a long moment and he sighed, pulling you back into his arms again. “Okay. I trust you.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “I know you won’t leave me for him, no matter how hard he tries. That’s enough for me.”

You hugged him back tightly, letting his warm scent envelop you. His assurance meant everything to you. If after every fight, you fixed a little crack in your relationship, then all the heartache was worth it.

“Now, let’s head out before we miss the entire movie,” he said with a grin, lacing his fingers with yours and tugging you out of the kitchen.

The boys were all sprawled across the floor in various positions, but you could see that they’d saved a spot for you and Yongguk. As you stepped carefully over the bodies, you could see that Hyosung had arrived while you were in the kitchen, and was comfortably snuggled up next to your brother. She gave you a bright smile when you passed her, and you smiled back.

Yongguk sat down first, and you sat down next to him. Then he put an arm around you and you leaned your head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. A comfortable silence blanketed the room as everyone watched the movie playing on the television screen, and you couldn’t help smiling to yourself. Sometimes, life got incredibly difficult, but looking around the room, you realized you were incredibly fortunate. You had an amazing brother and a boyfriend who loved you (although his words sometimes contradicted his feelings), and four adorable dongsaengs who really, really cared about you even though they couldn’t always express it. These were the people who made you happy and you vowed that you’d do anything in your power to make sure that they never had to suffer because of you again.

In that moment, everything was right in your world.

Author's note:

Last author's note for this story! I can't quite believe that I've completed this story. These 53 chapters have taken me a good 8 months of my life to write and checking the "Mark Story Complete" box was an incredibly surreal moment. I set out intending to write only 25-30 chapters, but the overwhelming response from my readers urging me to continue the story has led to number 53 today. I wrote a really long one in an attempt to tie up all the loose ends and thank you guys for your continuous support for What My Heart Tells Me To Do. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Other than sharing my fiction, I've also felt like I've gained lots of friends through this journey. I know I ramble a lot, sometimes about stuff unrelated to the story, but I get so excited because I know you guys are fellow BAP/Kpop fans! It also helps that you guys let me know in the comments that you share my interest in other bands like Beast, Big Bang, BTS etc. It really feels great to be able to converse with like-minded people! Although this story has ended, feel free to send me friend requests! You can also select "subscribe to author" on my wall if you wanna be updated about the other stuff I'm writing. I'm working on a few different stories at the same time, because my obsessions change quite frequently, so I haven't exactly decided which full-length story I'm going to post first, but I have a couple of one-shots/shorts that are ready to see the world. This is definitely not the last you'll see of warriorkitty. ;)

Lastly, I really wanna thank each and every one of you who have passed through these walls, whether you're a silent reader or a regular commenter. I would have given up long ago if not for you guys, but each comment spurs me on to post the next chapter. I would never have believed that so many people would be interested in some story I cooked up in my imagination, much less enjoy it or be moved by my writing. A couple of you have even told me that I've inspired you to start writing. You guys have no idea what it means to me *teardrop*. I am so deeply touched by all this support. Please accept my imaginary deep bow.

Much love, and please anticipate my future writing! THANK YOU X INFINITY!

xx.