You ended up staying longer than you’d intended, and with the people around you constantly refilling your glass before it was even half empty, you’d lost count of how many drinks you’d had long ago. You’d played some drinking games at the start and because you were the most uncoordinated person you knew, you’d kept losing and being forced to drink whatever was in your glass. At some point, you’d lost track of what you were even drinking. Although you weren’t in the mood to party, you had to admit that you were having fun. The bunch of models that Dongwoon had run into at the event was a really fun bunch, and you were actually having a blast talking and laughing with them. Or maybe everything just seemed funny because your head felt kind of light and woozy.

Soojung was already drunk and lying on your shoulder with her eyes closed, muttering incoherently every once in a while. Across the table, Dongwoon was showing two of the girls the photos from the shoot you’d done together on his phone. They were giggling and intermittently making some comments to you, which you couldn’t really hear over the loud music, but nodded anyway.

You took another sip from your glass and set it down before leaning back into the plush seat, causing Soojung to fall into your lap. You didn’t bother to move her. Your head was starting to pound, and you just didn’t have the energy even though she probably weighed half of what you weighed.

Dongwoon came over and lifted Soojung off you, sitting down beside you and letting her rest her head in his lap instead. He patted your thigh with one hand. “You okay?”

You nodded, leaning your head back and shutting your eyes for a second. “Just a little dizzy. Oh man, I’m in so much trouble. If Yongguk oppa were here…”

“I won’t tell,” he assured you, before letting out a chuckle. “I find it amazing how you’re letting him tell you what you can or can’t do.”

Your eyes snapped open and you glared at him. “I’m not.”

Dongwoon shrugged before holding up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s good that you care enough about his feelings to change things about yourself. I just never expected this side of you, you know, actually asking him for permission before you head to a club.”

“I don’t have to ask him for permission,” you snapped. “I just let him know where I am, in case he worries. He doesn’t control what I do.”

Dongwoon opened his mouth to argue, but clamped it shut, realizing there was no point arguing with you. He nodded and your hair gently. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

You relaxed again, just as the two girls in front of you leaned forward and yelled something at you that you couldn’t hear. You just nodded again, before turning to Dongwoon. “What did they say?”

His eyes were playful. “They said we look cute together. We do, don’t we?”

You laughed. “Are you complimenting me or yourself?” You looked down at Soojung, who was sound asleep in Dongwoon’s lap. “You two would make a good-looking couple.”

“Me and Soojung?” he asked, surprised. “No way. I think of her as a little sister.”

You bit your lip for a moment, contemplating whether to say exactly what was on your mind. Under normal circumstances, you might have held your tongue, but copious amounts of alcohol always made you too honest for your own good. “Earlier, in the fitting room, Soojung said…” You laughed, as if it were a ridiculous idea. “She thinks you’ll never fall for her because you’re still hung up on me. I don’t know why she’d even—”

 Dongwoon looked at you with a straight face and said something that you didn’t catch. You tilted your head towards him. “What did you say?”

He leaned closer to you and said loudly in your ear, “I said, she says all kinds of nonsense! Don’t listen to her!”

Although you knew that Soojung was wrong, it was a relief hearing it from him. At this time, the two girls sitting opposite you raised their glasses and you and Dongwoon picked yours up. You clinked your glass against theirs before downing it. Okay, that one may have been a little bit past your limit. One of the girls stood up, staggering over the table to get over to your side, and pulling you to your feet. “Unnie, let’s go dance!”

You tried to decline, looking to Dongwoon for help, but he waved you on. “Go ahead. I’ll stay here and look after Soojung.” You grabbed his arm and he patted your hand, beckoning you closer. You bent down, and he moved his face closer to your ear. “You should go. She won’t quit bugging you until you dance with her. My manager hyung’s coming to pick us up soon, and I’ll get Soojung into the car first, then I’ll come get you after, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll deliver you back to your boyfriend in one piece.”

“You’d better not leave me here,” you warned him as you were unceremoniously dragged away by the girls. It was a small club, and it wasn’t long before you were swallowed up by a throng of gyrating bodies. The flashing strobe lights and semi-darkness only added to your confusion, but the crowd quickly you in, and you felt yourself moving along to the beat, although not entirely of your own accord.

Unfortunately, that was the last thing you could remember of the night.

The next morning, you woke up in a strange place. Your foggy brain vaguely registered a loud banging noise in the distance. You tried to look around you, but your eyes were so dry you could barely keep them open for more than a few seconds at a time. Your throat was parched, as was your mouth, and your tongue felt like sandpaper when you ran it over your lips. There was a vaguely sour tang at the back of your throat that made you feel slightly nauseous. You sat up, and felt your head throbbing. You felt like you’d just been in a train wreck, and you had no idea where you were. All you could tell was that you were in a bed (alone, thank God) and you were wearing clothes that weren’t your own.

You examined the clothes that you were wearing. You had on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that didn’t quite fit you. It smelt masculine, which sent alarm bells ringing in your brain. It didn’t smell like Yongguk. Where the hell were you and whose clothes were you wearing? Most importantly, how had you gotten into these clothes? A quick check ensured you that you were still wearing your underwear from last night. That was a relief, right?

The loud banging noise continued, and you swung your legs over the side of the bed. You tried to stand, but the wave of dizziness that hit you immediately sent you crashing back down onto the bed. You winced at the jolt, which caused your head to pound even more. The banging noise stopped, and was replaced by the sound of a yelling voice, which didn’t really help the migraine that was threatening to drill a hole through your head. You pushed your hair back from your face and tried standing again, slowly. Inwardly, you swore to yourself that you would never touch a drop of alcohol again for as long as you lived.

You managed to make your way to the door of the room you were in, but nothing could have prepared you for the sight that greeted you when you pulled the door open.

Standing in the small living room, just inside of the opened front door, were Yongguk and Dongwoon. From the looks of it, Yongguk was livid and was yelling at Dongwoon. When you stepped out into the living room, however, both men froze and turned to you.

There was a heavy silence in the air as your boyfriend caught your eye for a brief second, before his gaze moved down to take in your outfit and your general state.

“You son of a .”

Both you and Dongwoon were unprepared for the punch that Yongguk swung. It caught him hard in one eye, and he staggered back from the shock, one hand coming up to cup the injured area.

Yongguk was moving forward again in a flash, his left hand grabbing Dongwoon by the front of his t-shirt and his right pulled back in a fist to strike again. “You ing bastard. What the did you do?”

You flew across the room in shock and horror, flinging yourself at Yongguk and tugging at his arm with both your hands before he could hit Dongwoon again. A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm you, but you forced yourself to focus, pulling your hysterical boyfriend back before he could do anymore damage. Even though you’d fought countless times over the years, you’d never seen Yongguk this furious before. There was a dangerous glint in his eye that seemed almost wild, and it scared you. You felt him struggling, trying to push you aside, but you blocked him with your whole body, wrapping your arms around him to try to calm him down. It was ironic, considering that your own heart was thumping somewhere in the vicinity of your throat.

“Oppa, please, stop!” you pleaded, holding on to him for dear life as Dongwoon scrambled away a few feet away from him.

“Are you seriously trying to defend him now?” Yongguk roared, turning his murderous glare on you. He grabbed your arm tightly, looking in disgust at the clothes you were wearing. “What is the meaning of this?”

Dongwoon moved forward, trying to get himself between you and Yongguk. “Don’t talk to Hana like that!”

In a second, Yongguk had let go of you and was pulling at Dongwoon by the front of his shirt again. “Who are you to tell me how to treat my girlfriend?”

You shoved your body in between them again, on the verge of tears. Seeing Yongguk so out of control truly scared you. It was as if he were a different person, and you couldn’t predict what he was going to do next. Even though he had a short temper, he was always gentle, and he never resorted to physical violence. At this moment, though, you were genuinely terrified that he was going to do something to hurt Dongwoon, and it was hard for you not to start panicking. When a hand shot out to pull Yongguk back, it felt as if an angel had been sent to rescue you. All three of you snapped your heads towards the newcomer.

Manager Kang.

“Yongguk,” he warned quietly, one hand on Yongguk’s shoulder. He didn’t have to raise his voice or use any force, but Yongguk calmed down immediately and stepped back, leaving you dazed as you stood in between the two men. The boys’ manager turned to you, giving you a look that you couldn’t quite read. You couldn’t decide if he liked you or not, because he was nice to you most of the time and treated you like one of the kids, but you knew your existence in Yongguk’s life made his job really difficult. As if the concealment of your relationship wasn’t already trying enough, your relationship was far from stable, and it definitely affected Yongguk. It had to be tough for him managing the boys’ personal lives, such as in this particular situation, where he had to calm down three hysterical people. It was no wonder that most idols weren’t allowed to date.

“Let’s go.”

He was looking at Yongguk when he said that, but he turned his gaze on you soon after. You were bewildered. Did he mean you? Was he offering to take you away too? You looked at Yongguk, and then you made the mistake of looking at Dongwoon.

He looked absolutely distraught, as if he too were on the verge of crying. He gave you a pleading look. “I swear, nothing happened! I brought you back here because I really don’t know where you stay…”

Before he could even finish, you felt Yongguk grab your wrist, hard. Instinctively, you try to wrestle yourself out of his grip, but he only tightened it further. He was a lot calmer, but there was still that dangerous darkness in his eyes when he looked at you. “Have you had enough? Do you want to stay here?”

You stopped fighting him, knowing you didn’t want to stay. Your world was spinning, and you didn’t know what was going on or what to believe. Manager Kang started walking away first, and Yongguk followed, pulling you along with him.

“Hana, you have to believe me,” Dongwoon begged, although he didn’t try to stop you from leaving.

Yongguk snapped his head around and glared at him, but a slight shake of the head from his manager, and he turned back again to leave. You felt your tears welling up as you followed them. The entire elevator ride down, the three of you stood in a stifling silence. Yongguk refused to look at you, and Manager Kang pretended to be busy on his cell phone. You couldn’t help your tears from spilling down your face as you thought of how messed up everything was, and how you were too helpless to even begin fixing it. All you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear. However, you weren’t even given that luxury. When you got to the car, Manager Kang climbed in the driver’s seat and Yongguk took the passenger seat without taking a second look at you. Then the door slid open, and you saw the five other members of BAP staring at you with a mixture of shock and pity.

Your brother got out and took your hand, helping you into the car before climbing in beside you. It was deathly silent in the car, save for your occasional sniffle.

“Why are you all here?” you asked Himchan quietly as he handed you a tissue.

“We came right from the airport,” he answered. “Yongguk was freaking out because he couldn’t contact you, and he insisted on finding um… you know. We drove here the moment we landed.” He your hair, giving you a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

The way your brother was looking at you released another flood of tears. Everything was complicated, and you didn’t know who was what in your life anymore, but your brother would never stop loving you unconditionally. You buried your face in his shoulder and let yourself cry.

“No. I’m not okay.”