In the silence that ensued, Yongguk stared at you partly in disbelief and partly in anger. It was as if someone had pressed a pause button in the room. None of the dongsaengs dared to move or make a sound, since you were clearly unstable and honestly, nobody had a clue what was going on.

Finally, Yongguk broke the silence. “Are you crazy?”

It was a simple statement, softly spoken, yet loaded with so much venom.

“Are you crazy?” you replied indignantly. “How could you even write a song like that? How could you made a video like that?”

He laughed dryly. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“Am I? AM I?” you almost shriek at him. “I tried to be nice to you. It’s you who’s throwing tantrums and… and…” your voice cracked and more tears came. “Writing all these… hurtful words.”

Yongguk looked away and Daehyun cleared his throat loudly. “Ah, I’m so hungry right now. I’m going to the convenience store to get a snack, who wants to come?”

The kids quickly made their escape, leaving Himchan, who was actually worried that the two of you might fight. He did, however, stand a respectful distance away and just kept quiet.

“I can’t believe you,” you continued, swiping away tears angrily. You grabbed the front of his shirt again to force him to look at you. “Look at me! Do you think this is a joke?”

Yongguk looked at you, and then his eyes darted towards Himchan, who was standing with furrowed brows. Then, grabbing your wrist, he pulled you in the direction of one of the rooms. Himchan made a move to step forward, but Yongguk warned him away with his eyes. “We just need 5 minutes. Please.” Himchan stepped back, although the worried look never left his face as you struggled to free your hand from Yongguk’s grip. Nevertheless, you followed him. You didn’t want your brother to witness you talking about the details of your failed relationship anyway.

You entered a room with two beds in it, and stood awkwardly in the middle as Yongguk closed the door. Now that the two of you were in such a small space alone for the first time in two years, it felt weird. At that moment, you suddenly realized that you had rushed out of your house in your pajamas, an old t-shirt and thin cotton shorts. You hadn’t even put on a bra. Realizing that, you quickly crossed your arms over your chest. You suddenly felt a bit self-conscious, running out barefaced and crying like a crazy woman.

“I wrote that song because I wanted to write something that I honestly felt,” Yongguk said softly, with a hint of bitterness in his voice. “You write. You know that the best words come from the heart.”

“Didn’t you think that it might be insensitive to me?” you answered, your voice also bitter. “Didn’t you imagine I might watch it?”

“Of course I knew you would see it. That’s why I wrote it.”

“And you didn’t think it might hurt me?”

“I don’t know,” he said, looking away again. “I thought you didn’t care.”

You didn’t know what to say for a moment. He was right, you probably shouldn’t have cared and just written him off as a crazy ex, but you really cared about the fact that he was so (unreasonably) mad at you. And you really cared that he had put your memories, the memories you kept close to your heart because he was your first love (even though you didn’t love him anymore), up for display like that.

“I wanted you to feel hurt,” he continued. “Because you really hurt me.”

You sighed. “It was two years ago, o…” you caught yourself just before you called him ‘oppa’ again by habit. “And yes, you’ve hurt me. You got what you wanted. Are you happy now?”

“A little,” he admitted, a slight smile playing at his lips, which infuriated you. “But not as much as I expected. Maybe because I got slapped for it.”

You almost smiled too, but you held back. “Well, you deserved that. And that made me a little happy too.”

“You promised you wouldn’t do that,” he protested.

“I’m the girl who promised you forever and didn’t keep it, remember?” you retorted, quoting his lyrics. “Now when you’re famous I’ll be that girl who doesn’t keep promises.”

“Sorry.”

Even him apologizing in that off-hand manner irritated you. “Are you really sorry?”

“Those are my memories too, you know? You can’t tell me not to write about them.”

You bit your lip. You couldn’t fight against that logic. “Well, can you at least warn me next time so I don’t receive it like a slap in the face?”

Yongguk nodded. “Speaking of which, you haven’t apologized for slapping me.”

“I’m not sorry,” you said in amusement. “And this time I can’t even just have with you and pretend I am and make everything go away.”

As the conversation proceeded, the two of you had started actually speaking to each other like two normal people rather than enemies, but that last comment was just too much and made everything weird again. Yongguk stared at you with an unreadable expression, his ears turning slightly red. You stared back for a moment before remembering to cross your arms again. You felt your cheeks heating up too and mentally kicked yourself for saying stupid things without thinking, before moving past Yongguk to leave the room.

As you were going to open the door, he grabbed your forearm. “Wait.” You looked at him incredulously, not knowing what to expect after that awkward moment. However, he just grabbed a hooded jacket off the back of a chair and handed it to you indifferently. “Here, take this. I can’t believe you actually went out in public like this.”

Mutely, you took it and tried to put it on, but in your rush to leave, you somehow got tangled up in the jacket and got stuck. Silently, he unknotted the jacket from you, put your arm in the right way, and then zipped it up for you. Your heart was pounding so hard that when his hand came up to your chest, you were sure he felt it. His hand lingered for a moment when he’d reached the top of the zipper, and the two of you stood in that awkward tableau for a moment, not looking at each other.

Finally, he withdrew his hand, and you opened the door quickly, feeling slightly light-headed all of a sudden… and your brother stumbled in. As if everything wasn’t weird enough as it was.

“I, uh… it was quiet, so I thought… maybe… one of you… uh, died?” he offered sheepishly.

Oh God. “I’m leaving,” you said brusquely, and walked as fast as your dignity would allow you out of the apartment.