White

What My Heart Tells Me To Do

 

“Ya, Kim Him Chan!”

“Wait, I’m almost done!”

“You’re making me do everything here!”

“Ya, can’t you just wait a minute?”

You threw a dishtowel at your brother, who was sitting at your dining table and typing at your laptop. Because of his injury, he had to type with his left hand and he was taking ages while you prepared what was supposed to be his White Day present for Hyosung. He easily dodged your attack by moving his body sideways, not lifting his eyes from the computer screen as your weapon fell harmlessly onto the floor.

“How long does it take to write a love letter?” you groaned, sliding the tray of chocolates that you’d just made into the fridge. Himchan had gotten this romantic idea of making Hyosung chocolates from scratch in addition to preparing a meal for a picnic, but he’d been trying to write her a card since he’d arrived, leaving you to do everything after giving the instructions. “You have no right at all to say that you made these, oppa. I just did everything on my own.”

“I bought the ingredients,” Himchan declared childishly. “And it was my idea. You’re just executing it.”

“I’ll tell her I made them,” you threatened, unpacking the groceries he’d brought so you could get started on his sandwiches. You were already resigned to having to do everything for him, since he could only use one hand. “And I hope you didn’t address her as ‘Hyosung noona’ in your letter. She doesn’t like it.”

He looked up, eyeing you suspiciously. “How do you know? Did she tell you?”

“Yeah, we’re totally close now,” you said, grinning. “You should be very afraid.”

“What else did she tell you?”

“That my oppa is a shy boy,” you teased. “You need to be more like your usual self. She thinks you’re being cold because you don’t like her that way. Why did you even sleep with her before she was your girlfriend? How can she ever feel like you want anything more than her body now?”

Himchan blushed furiously and looked away from you to continue typing his letter. “It just happened that way. But I really like her, and that makes me nervous. Ever since I confessed to her, we haven’t even… Aish, why am I telling you this? Just… It’s not about her body, okay? Tell her not to misunderstand me.”

You raised an eyebrow as you started washing vegetables. “Me? You tell her in your letter. It’s White Day. You can confess your true feelings today.”

“I already did,” he insisted, finally looking up. “Ya, help me print this and stick it into my card. But don’t read it.”

You turned off the water and wiped your hands, exasperated. “Am I your sister or your slave? Why does it feel like I’m the one who’s celebrating White Day with Hyosung unnie?”

“You’re the best,” Himchan said, putting his arm around your neck and giving you a sloppy kiss on the cheek as you bent over the computer. “I’ll let her know what a great help you were.” He released you, ignoring the scowl you gave him. “What are your plans with Bbang?”

You shrugged. The boys were at an M Countdown filming and you still had a lot of writing to do for the rest of the songs in Secret’s mini album. “We don’t have plans. I’m heading back to the office after I’m done helping you.”

“Maybe he has something planned for you.”

“We don’t celebrate all these cheesy things,” you said with a laugh. “We’ve known each other too long for that. Besides, he’s really busy and he has to prepare for his trip to Thailand tomorrow. If he feels romantic enough maybe he’ll ask me over to help him pack.”

“I think he’s more romantic than you give him credit for.”

You brushed off his comment as you helped him cut his little note into a heart shape to stick into his card. You weren’t really interested in celebrating all these little dates. Years ago when you were teenagers, celebrating stuff like Valentines’ Day and White Day as a couple were all new and exciting, but you really didn’t see the importance of them all. Even then, you’d preferred quiet nights in to fancy events and overpriced gifts. It wasn’t that you didn’t like receiving presents and commemorating certain dates. It was the over-commercialization of these dates that bothered you, and you knew that Yongguk saw eye to eye with you on this issue. You didn’t expect anything since he was so busy lately, but even if he did something, you knew it wasn’t going to be anything fancy like what Himchan was planning.

“Did you get flowers, oppa?”

Himchan froze. “Oh my God. I forgot.” He smiled sweetly at you. “Can you please…?”

You groaned, mentally kicking yourself for reminding him. Sighing deeply, you finished up his card before checking your reflection in the mirror to make sure you looked decent enough to head out to the florist around the corner. “It’s going to cost you a bomb though.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise,” he said, putting both his hands together in a pleading motion.

“Ya, work on your food while I’m gone!” you warned, grabbing your wallet, grumbling the whole time. “It’s not like it’s my date.”

 

You were engrossed in your work, your headphones on and pencil scribbling furiously when you felt something cold touch your shoulder. You’d been alone for hours now, and were so intensely focused on your work that instinctively, you jumped, your hand skittering across the paper. You pulled your headphones off as you twisted around for the source of disturbance.

Yongguk stood behind you, laughing at your reaction.

“You scared me,” you complained, holding your hand to your heart, which was still pounding hard from the shock. “Ya, stop laughing!”

“I wish I had this on video,” he said, continuing to guffaw as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Since when did you get scared so easily?”

You smacked him with the notepad you were writing in to get him to stop, and then studied the stray line that you’d accidentally drawn across the paper. “Look at what you made me do.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, your hair for a moment before he started giggling again. “But that was priceless.”

“I hate you.” You pouted, putting down your notepad.

“Ya, you can’t say these things on White Day,” he protested, turning your chair around to face him. “It’s a day for honest confessions.”

You crossed your arms, frowning at him. “I’m surprised that you know that. Other girls’ boyfriends take them out on romantic dates but mine scares the hell out of me and then laughs at me.”

He grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet before wrapping his arms around you. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here. And I shouldn’t have laughed at you.” Reluctantly, you circled your arms around his waist, hugging him back. You felt him bury his nose in your hair for a moment before he spoke again. “Did you want me to take you out on a romantic date?”

“No,” you said, pulling back. “Just try not to send me into any more heart attacks and I’ll be happy.”

“It’s been a while since we celebrated anything though,” he pointed out, pouting at you. “You didn’t even give me candy on Valentines’ Day.”

“Did you want me to give you candy?” you asked, smiling uncontrollably at how cute he looked. He was famous for being bad at aegyo, but at moments when he least intended it, he was actually full of aegyo. He just couldn’t do it in front of cameras or when people were looking at him, but it showed up at the most random moments, and it drove you crazy. You poked his stomach. “You got a lot from your fans though. You’ll get fat from eating too much candy.”

His hand flew up to protect his tummy from you. “How can candy from my girlfriend be the same as candy from fans?”

“Was I even your girlfriend on Valentines’ Day?” you asked, poking him again at a different spot. “Wasn’t it Hyerin?”

“No,” he replied, giving you a stern look.

You laughed. “If you really want candy, I have some chocolates in my fridge. I made them for Himchan oppa to give to Hyosung unnie and I have some extras. He already picked the nicer looking ones though.”

His eyes brightened at the mention of chocolates, and you couldn’t resist reaching up and pinching his cheeks. He flinched and moved backwards to fend off your attack. “Ya, what are you doing?”

“Our Yonggukkie is too cute,” you teased, before turning back to your table.

“Are you done with your work? Shall we go?” he asked, leaning over you to look at what you were writing.

You sighed, scanning the mess before you. “No, but I suppose I can continue tomorrow.” You stretched, feeling the tension in your neck and shoulders from having sat in the same spot for too long. You checked your watch. It was almost ten at night, which meant you’d been there for six hours straight.

“Have you been sitting here all day?” he questioned, looking at you with a worried look on his face. “You didn’t have dinner, did you?”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I’ll just go back and have some ramyun.”

You packed up your stuff and the two of you walked back to your apartment building together. He couldn’t hold your hand even when you walked beside each other, and he had to put the hood of his jacket up and hide his face behind a pair of glasses, but it had been a while since you’d even walked beside each other in public, and it was nice. The streets weren’t too crowded, and you were able to remain fairly relaxed, glancing around only a couple of times to make sure that no one had their cameras out. As if he were thinking the same thing, he boldly grabbed your hand when you were a few minutes away from home, lacing his fingers with yours.

When you finally reached your floor, you were beaming. It was just a short walk, but it meant so much to you, it already constituted a really good White Day date for you. You only let go of his hand to punch in the passcode for your door, while he waited for you with a similarly dorky smile on his face. You held the door open, turning to him. “Are you coming in?”

“If you’re going to invite me in,” he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Don’t you have to be up early tomorrow?” you asked, hesitating. You knew that it was going to be a busy day for him. The boys had to shoot for Music Bank in the morning before catching a flight to Bangkok later in the day for another schedule. “Have you even packed your luggage?”

Yongguk reached past you to push the door open, bundling you in impatiently. “Don’t be silly, I’m only going for two nights. Besides, it’s still early.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but the words died in your throat as you took in the sight before you. Rose petals were scattered all over the floor in a trail from the door to the dining table, leading to the bed, where more petals were arranged in the shape of a heart on your bedspread. Candles flickered on various surfaces around the apartment, and some heart-shaped balloons floated, tied down to chairs and other furniture. You couldn’t see that clearly in the dim light, but you spotted some dishes laid out on the dining table.

You felt Yongguk press himself against you, arms coming around in front of you in a back hug. His plump lips planted a kiss on the little bit of exposed skin between your neck and your shoulder, before moving up to your ear. “Happy White Day.”

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BangRis
#1
Chapter 1: Coming back to this story everytime i miss bang yongguk ☹
Swagguin
#2
Chapter 53: Ugh I always come back to this story cause it’s so good !!! I’m still crossing my fingers for a sequel 😭✌🏻💕💕💕
miuratatsuya
#3
I read this few years ago and I forgot the title. I literally forgot to subscribe and that makes it harder to find...😅 now, I'm gonna re-read it again because I miss the plot and story.😊
28meimei
#4
Chapter 53: Loved it!!!
dnsxox #5
Chapter 53: Whoa.. this rollercoaster of feelings is amazing.. what a ride. I love how you picture each of the characters and the detail of each situations. This fic reminds me of Louis Tomlinson & Bebe Rexha - Back To You. That song is totally describing Yongguk and Hana. Thank you for this amazing story❤
lirlewings #6
I just binge read this story
It's a great story ;-; i like it so much?
peppermintani #7
Chapter 53: I'm glad I can always come back and read your BAP stories. This was the first one I ever read and it was such a good balance of drama and romance, plus angst. So glad to see Youngguk as a main character and it was so creative how you integrated BAP music and lyrics so it didn't seem like AU, just a behind the scenes of their real life that we don't ever know about. I hope you write more Youngguk or Daehyun stories in the future, (well actually any member)!
Swagguin
#8
Chapter 26: Still hoping and praying for a sequel <3 ! It's too good !