“…So amazing! We were in this old warehouse and all six of us were just standing there but it looked so cool…”

You were on Skype with your boyfriend again and he was telling you all about the music video that they’d just finished shooting for, but you were finding it hard to concentrate on what he was saying. Other than the fact that you were nervous about telling him about your photoshoot with a certain ex-boyfriend, said ex-boyfriend had also been constantly texting you ever since said photoshoot. You’d been too busy to hang out with him, but he’d just send you messages telling you what he was doing, sometimes even photos of the places he was at, or just random selcas. He didn’t have too many friends in Seoul, and you felt bad ignoring him so you usually entertained him whenever he wanted someone to talk to.

You looked discreetly at your phone as it buzzed again.

“I’m heading out with some friends to a club tonight. Wanna join? :)”

“I’m already in bed,” you typed back. “Another time, maybe.”

“…And then we went to the beach. It was so beautiful! I wish you could be here to watch the sunset with me. It was so breath-taking…”

You tried to listen to Yongguk because he was obviously really excited to tell you everything that had happened. He was like a little kid at that moment, and you didn’t want to interrupt him, but you felt uncomfortable not being able to get things off your chest. You felt like you were in trouble of some sort, and it was an awful feeling.

“Come on, since when were you this boring?” came Dongwoon’s reply.

“Since always. You have fun!”

You looked up from your phone and at your boyfriend again. He looked so happy that you felt even guiltier. Why were you even feeling so horrible when you hadn’t done anything wrong? You opened your mouth to interrupt Yongguk, but were once again distracted by another incoming message.

“My friends say there are lots of hot girls at this club! ^^” This message came with an attached photo of one of the popular clubs at Hongdae.

“That’s nice,” you said aloud.

“What’s nice?” Yongguk asked, and your eyes shot up to your computer screen, startled.

He was looking at you expectantly and you realized you had no idea what he’d been saying before you’d turned your attention to Dongwoon’s text message. “The, um…” you stuttered nervously. “That… video thing.”

Thankfully, Yongguk’s face brightened and he nodded earnestly. “I’m really excited about it. We’re going to be shooting in Vegas, like one of those top American pop stars! Sometimes I wake up and I can’t believe that I’m not dreaming.”

You exhaled with relief inwardly, but tried to keep your smile plastered to your face for Yongguk. Resolutely, you pushed your phone under your pillow. “You guys have worked really hard,” you told him encouragingly. “You earned it.”

He smiled at you, and you could see how genuinely blissful he was. This only compounded your guilt. There he was, thinking that everything in his life was going perfectly, while his girlfriend was back home cavorting around with her ex. Okay, so you weren’t “cavorting” per se, but when the photos came out, it would look like that was exactly what you were doing. Maybe if you snuck into the photographer’s studio and destroyed the evidence…

“How was your photoshoot anyway?”

You blinked, surprised that the conversation was now turning the way you’d wanted to steer it from the beginning but now that it had, you were lost for words. “It… went well.”

Yongguk smiled at you again. “When will the photos be out?”

“I don’t know,” you replied, your dry lips. “I’ll show them to you when they’re out.” Meanwhile, you were secretly praying that your photos would turn out horrible and they’d scrap them all.

“I can’t decide if I want to see them,” Yongguk complained, pouting. “I mean, of course I wanna see them, but I should be the only one who can look. What kind of swimsuit was it? Do you reveal everything?”

Despite yourself, you laughed. “I don’t reveal everything. But it was a two-piece bikini, so it was pretty revealing.” You saw the frown on his face and quickly added, “It wasn’t shot in an way though. It was more like a ‘I’m playing on the beach’ kind of thing.”

“You can’t control whether it looks or not,” he protested. “People can have erse imaginations. I don’t want to share my girlfriend with all these other men. I should be the only one who is seduced by you.”

“You’re not sharing me,” you assured him with a smile. “That person that’s coming out in the photographs is not me; it’s just an image. It’s just like how you have all these fans that call you their oppa. They have charismatic Bang Yongguk the singer, but the one I have is the dorky one who sleeps with his mouth open.” You could see the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “Besides, I reveal way more of my body to you, and that’s definitely just for you.”

Yongguk couldn’t hold back anymore and grinned widely, flashing you his gums. “Why are you saying these things when you’re so far away from me?” he whined childishly. Then, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes, he looked around his room before lowering his voice. “Show me.”

You shook your head. “Nope. It wouldn’t be fair for you to just get an image instead of the real person. You can look and touch when you get back.”

He laughed and shook his head at the same time. “You’re so mean.”

“I’m mean?” you asked with a laugh. “I’d be mean if I let you look now, when there is absolutely no possibility of touching.”

Yongguk fell backwards onto the bed with a groan and you took a deep breath to steady yourself before you decided to tell him. “Oppa, about the shoot…”

“Ya, what’s this talk about touching?” a loud voice drowned out your words. You heard a flurry of activity on Yongguk’s side and in an instant, you saw your brother jumping onto the bed and grabbing Yongguk threateningly in a headlock. “You’re not touching my sister, you hear me?”

The camera shook as another head popped onto the screen in a blur of silver hair. “Noona!”

You saw more bodies jumping on the bed, piling on top of Yongguk with excited yells. Youngjae’s face appeared right in front of the camera, blocking out the mass of bodies on the bed. He waved and smiled at you. “Noona, annyeong!”

Although you were annoyed that they’d interrupted you just when you’d worked up the courage to tell Yongguk, you couldn’t help laughing and waving back at them. It was so quiet without them that their noisy roughhousing was a welcome sight. You had to admit, you were partially relieved that you didn’t have to figure out a way to talk about Dongwoon for now.

“How are you monkeys doing?” you asked as they slowly untangled themselves from each other.

“It’s awesome here, noona!” Jongup replied first.

“This kid has been eating burgers every day,” Himchan declared, pointing his finger at Jongup. “When he comes back, he’ll be so fat that you wouldn’t be able to recognize him.”

Jongup flashed you his usual innocent smile, pushing Himchan’s finger away. “That’s because noona isn’t here to cook delicious food for us. Will you cook us Korean food when we’re back, noona?”

“Of course,” you said with a grin. “If I don’t feed you kids, who else is going to?”

In the background, Yongguk had hauled himself upright again, and you could see him beaming like a proud father amidst the five other boys. You knew that he genuinely saw himself as a leader and a guardian to the kids (sometimes even Himchan, who behaved like a kid even though he was older than the other boys) and it made him happy when you took care of them too. You knew that it endeared you to him because he was always thinking about marriage and being a father. Whenever you showed any maternal traits, you just knew he was thinking in his head that he was going to marry you, and that didn’t make you too comfortable.

Thankfully, the boys, being boys, were too upbeat to notice anything wrong with your behavior. Daehyun pushed Jongup aside so he could get closer to the camera. “Noona, I heard from Yongguk hyung that you did a photoshoot in a bikini! When can we see the photos?”

Himchan flung himself at Daehyun before you could even reply. “Ya! Who said you’ll get to see the photos? None of you are going to see them!”

“But they’re going to be up in public!” Daehyun argued. “How are you going to stop us from seeing them?”

“Guys, you’re making me regret that I ever took those photos,” you injected wryly. It was always hard to talk to the boys when they were excited about something, especially Daehyun, because he started rambling like a bullet train and nobody could get a word in edgewise.

Himchan stuck his head close to the camera. “You should regret it! We’re not the only ones who’ll see them. Imagine—our parents will too!”

“You have no right to judge me,” you shot back. “Your girlfriend models underwear!”

Himchan opened his mouth and closed it again, clearly lost for words. The boys laughed raucously and he was pulled backwards by Yongguk.

“Hyung, we take off our clothes on stage too,” Jongup pointed out.

“None of you will understand the agony of having to see your sister half-!” Himchan wailed, flailing his arms wildly as Yongguk struggled to hold him down.

“Don’t look, then!” you insisted, wishing he were beside you so you could hit him. You could always trust your brother to be a complete drama queen. “I’m going to bed. You guys have fun today!”

With all the boys in the room, Yongguk dispensed with all the usual mushiness and just waved at you as the boys hollered their goodbyes. As you put aside your computer, you sighed, knowing that the longer you put off telling Yongguk, the more it was going to look like you had something to hide, and you didn’t… right? Another buzz startled you and you reached under your pillow for your phone. Dongwoon had sent you a photo of a tray of shooters.

You flopped backwards onto your bed with a groan. What was it with you and exes?