“Noona… Noona? Noona!”

You snapped to your senses when someone clapped his hands just inches in front of your face. You gasped when you noticed Daehyun standing in front of you, looking quizzically at you. “Noona, are you okay?”

You nodded, not having realized that you were zoning out. “Yeah. What’s up?”

He pointed at the bottle of water in your hand. “I was asking if I could have some water.”

You handed it to him quickly. “Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

He looked skeptically at you for a moment before taking the bottle from you and uncapping it. As he took a gulp of water, he followed your line of vision and spotted what had gotten you so preoccupied. Standing at the other side of the room was Yongguk and a pretty young assistant. She was part of the styling team, and she was rubbing some kind of baby oil or something on his arms. As she touched him all over, you could see that they were having a conversation. She said something and he laughed heartily in the way he always did when he found something really funny, throwing his head back and moving his whole body. Seeing all these familiar habits, especially when girls other than you brought them out, made you feel a bitter taste at the back of your throat.

“Noona. You sure you’re okay?”

A couple of weeks had passed since you’d broken up, and Yongguk had kept his distance from you. It was hard, considering that you saw each other in the studio every day, but both of you made a conscious effort to avoid speaking to each other if you could help it. It was awkward at first, but you slowly got used to being civil to each other. It was as if you were now just acquaintances. Colleagues. On the surface, at least. Every time you saw him, you still yearned for him. You still searched his eyes for a hint of the love he used to have for you, but each time you failed to find it, a little part of you died. He was slowly healing from the break-up. He was slipping further and further way from you and there was nothing you could do about it.

“I’m fine,” you told Daehyun, although it was probably also an assurance for yourself. You smiled at him. “Are you done with your solo shot?”

He nodded, wiping his forehead with the towel around his neck. “I’d forgotten how tough it is working with fire.”

You were at the set of the boys’ music video filming for their Japanese version of ‘Warrior’. You’d dropped by to deliver food and drinks for the boys, but you were fast regretting your decision. In the studio, everyone was like family, but here, there were strangers and unfamiliar people. In particular, unfamiliar girls. Like that one who was running her hands all over your boy—ex-boyfriend. Even though you’d always known that he worked with lots of women, it’d never bothered you when you were together. Now that he was single and there was some likelihood that he might be open to their advances, it really got under your skin. The two of them laughed loudly again, and you turned away in irritation.

Daehyun was watching you watch Yongguk, and when you turned back, he caught your eye. He raised an eyebrow at you and you flushed. “Noona, if it’s bothering you…”

Your phone rang at this moment, and you grabbed the opportunity to escape. “Oh, sorry, I have to get this,” you said, holding up your phone, before running off towards an empty corner of the set. In your rush to avoid being busted by Daehyun, you hadn’t realized who was on the other end of the line until you picked up. “Hello?”

“Hana, I’m so sorry! I forgot that I had all these girls on my Instagram and I don’t know how they even…”

As the caller rambled on, you took a second look at your screen. Yongguk’s sister. Great.

“Unnie, slow down,” you interrupted her. “What’s going on?”

There was a pause.

“You haven’t seen your Instagram account, have you?”

“No, I haven’t,” you answered. “What about it?”

“Um, you have about two thousand new followers right now,” she told you, sounding guilty. “And I think it’s because I ‘liked’ one of your photos.”

You didn’t have to think too hard to infer which photo she meant, because you’d only posted two photos. One was that very first one with Dongwoon in the salon, and the second was a photo of you and your brother when you were five and six respectively. You’d stumbled upon it while looking for something else, and had decided to take a photo of it on your phone. To ensure that you didn’t achieve overnight Internet infamy, you hadn’t captioned it or made any reference to the boy in the photo being Himchan, but people who knew you personally would know for sure that he was your brother.

“Oh. It’s okay, unnie. I really don’t post much. I’m not going to put any private information on there.”

“Are you sure? Because I feel really bad…”

“Really,” you assured her. “Don’t worry about it.”

You heard her breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s good then. Yonggukkie probably won’t be too happy that I caused this to happen, though. How are you guys doing? He’s filming today, right? Are you with him on the set?”

You hesitated. Okay, so he probably hadn’t told his family that you’d broken up yet. Your eyes flicked towards Yongguk. He was filming a scene where he’d smash the hood of a car with a sledgehammer, and flames would shoot out beside him. The first time he’d filmed this scene in the debut video, he’d gotten hurt, and you couldn’t help feeling a knot of anxiety in your stomach as you watched him step onto the set. “Um, yeah, I am.”

“Has he asked you about dinner at my place next week?”

You bit your bottom lip, wondering if you should tell her or wait for him to. “No. Unnie, actually…”

“No?” she exclaimed in surprise. “That forgetful boy. Well, I’ll just tell you now…”

You fidgeted nervously as she went on about her plans for the dinner, which obviously, you were not going to be a part of since you were no longer Yongguk’s girlfriend. Something twisted painfully within you, but you brushed it away, inhaling deeply. “Unnie, actually, Yongguk oppa and I aren’t together anymore.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, but you could hear her surprise. “What?”

“We broke up two weeks ago.”

More silence. “Has there been some kind of misunderstanding? Have you two talked things out calmly?”

You could tell that she wasn’t sure what to think, considering the two of you fought so often. “No. We decided that it was better if we split up. It just wasn’t working out.”

She sighed. “No matter how big the issue is, don’t you think that there has to be a way to make things work as long as you love each other?”

You in a breath. The way she thought was very similar to Yongguk, and that was natural, since they were siblings. He used to say all these lofty things about an ideal love too, and you were the practical one who never believed in them. Did you still love him? You did. But sometimes that wasn’t enough. “Unnie, we tried...”

“You can’t just give up like this,” she insisted. “I know sometimes my brother may not be great at expressing himself and he may say things that are hurtful, but most times, he doesn’t mean it. You need to be a little bit more patient with him. If he has done something wrong, I hope you can forgive him.”

You looked over at Yongguk again. Natasha probably thought that it was you who’d walked away, and you couldn’t blame her. Who would have thought that Yongguk would be the one who’d quit first? Who would have thought that he’d be the one smiling so naturally while your heart was being ripped to shreds? It had to be karma. “Actually, he dumped me.”

“He did what?” she exclaimed, the shock apparent in her voice. “Don’t worry, Hana. When I see him, I’ll give him a piece of my mind. That idiot needs someone to talk some sense into him.”

“Don’t,” you said quickly, slightly flustered. “It’s not like that. We just…”

“Hana, I’m sorry if I seem like I’m interfering,” she said seriously. “But I can’t watch you two throw away what you have. You have something so special and it seems like only the two of you fail to see it. Do you know that on our mom’s cell phone, her wallpaper is the picture she took with you and Yongguk at the concert? You’re like family to all of us, and if my brother is stupid enough to break up with you, he needs a good talking-to.”

You felt your tears rising to the surface. That seemed to happen a lot over the past two weeks. Every little reminder of how happy you and Yongguk used to be turned you into an emotional wreck, and you had to struggle to suppress your tears until you were alone in the safety of your own home. “Unnie, I really think you should listen to him before you judge. There’s just been a lot of things going on, and I think it’s best for him if I stopped being a part of his life.”

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “In a way, it’s kind of romantic how the two of you can’t live with each other, but can’t live without each other either. Alright, I’ll listen to what he has to say when I see him. But just so you know, my invitation to dinner still extends to you.”

She was wrong, of course, you thought bitterly. He was living perfectly fine without you.

“Thank you. I’ll try to make it,” you said, even though you knew full well that it was a lie. You had no intention of having dinner with Yongguk and his siblings, especially not when it was so hard being around him.

You looked back at Yongguk, who was staring charismatically at the camera, as you hung up. He finished the scene without much trouble, although his proximity to the flames worried you a little. As he hopped down from the car, you almost instinctively went up to him, but you stopped yourself when the girl from before got to him first. The way he smiled at her when she handed him a towel was like a knife to your heart.

Himchan came over and stood next to you, putting an arm around your shoulder and giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said shortly. “I’m tired. I’m going home to get some rest. Hope the rest of the shoot goes well.”

You realized that your emotions must have been written all over your face. The boys all knew about the break-up, and it didn’t take a genius to see that Yongguk was moving on more comfortably than you. They walked on eggshells around you, always being careful not to mention his name. At the same time, they were constantly trying to hint to you that they were there for you in case you needed to talk. You appreciated their intentions, but you were sick of being treated like a wounded bird that they were trying to take care of. You hated being in that position of vulnerability. No, you weren’t okay, but no, you didn’t want to talk. They probably thought you’d feel better if you let it all out, but that didn’t work for you. You just wanted everyone to leave you alone so you could heal with as much dignity as you could scrap together.

“Hana…” you heard him say with a sigh as you turned and walked away, but you pretended you hadn’t heard. You weren’t some weak little girl who needed taking care of.

If Bang Yongguk could move on and live happily as if the past six years hadn’t happened, so could you.