Since you didn’t have any other plans, you followed Himchan and your parents back to his dorms the next day, and you went to take a look at the apartment. It was pretty small compared to your old apartment, but clean and nicely furnished. It felt strange to be able to open the front door and see the whole place, bed and all, but you supposed you could get used to it. Your mother, however, loved the place and paid the deposit for you upfront. So it was settled. You were moving in the next day. A day after you moved in, you were due to start work. You barely had a say in any of what was happening, but it seemed like your life was restarting itself again fairly quickly.

Your first day at work went quite smoothly. You were given a small room with some equipment to work with, and most of your first morning was introductions by two senior songwriters, Kibum and Jiwon. They taught you some basic stuff, like how to work the computers and recording equipment. You didn’t really play any instruments besides your rudimentary piano skills, so your focus was mainly on writing lyrics for the time being. After lunch, they pretty much left you alone to get acquainted with your workstation. You were doing pretty okay until sometime in the mid-afternoon, when you ran into some problems with the software, which you weren’t really that familiar with yet. You left your workstation and wandered around the rooms for a bit. Neither Jiwon nor Kibum were at their stations. You felt really lost, since it was your first day and you really didn’t know your way around that well.

Catching sight of another staff member, you stopped her. “Excuse me, do you know where I can find Jiwon oppa or Kibum oppa?”

“I think they’re working with BAP today,” she told you, pointing down the hall. “The recording studio is over there.”

You thanked her and as you walked in the way she’d pointed, you inhaled deeply. That room, you were very familiar with. Not too long ago, you’d spent many nights there. Steeling yourself and praying Yongguk wasn’t inside, you knocked on the door before entering the room.

The moment you opened the door, you heard a giggle and a flurry of movement. Surprised, you stepped back. “Annyeong haesaeyo!” a chirpy voice said loudly. It took you a moment to register what was happening, and you instinctively bowed back at the girl who had just bent over 90 degrees to bow at you. When she straightened, you saw that it was a very pretty and young girl, although what she was doing here you had no idea. Beside her, you saw a frosty Yongguk sitting in his chair. He made no move to get up or to greet you. Jiwon and Kibum were nowhere in sight.

You felt a strong urge to turn and leave, but before you could say anything, the girl was talking to you at a rapid speed. “I’m Hyerin. Are you Yongguk oppa’s colleague?”

Still confused, you nodded.

“How should I address you?” she went on. “I was born in 1993, how about you?”

“I’m Hana,” you replied, almost automatically. “I was born in ’91.”

“Nice to meet you, Hana unni! I hope I’m not getting in the way of your work!”

“Don’t call her unni, we’re not that close,” Yongguk said, reaching out to take her hand and pull her back a step away from you. At the sight of him lacing his fingers with hers, you felt a twinge of pain in your heart, but you willed it away. You even ignored the jibe he’d aimed at you. To you, he said gruffly, “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” you replied, forcing yourself to smile. “I was just looking for Jiwon oppa or Kibum oppa. I’ll look for them somewhere else. I won’t disturb you two.”

You turned and left the room with as much dignity as you could summon, but the moment the door closed, you had to take a deep breath and will your tears not to overflow. No matter what he’d done for you behind your back, he was in another relationship now, and she mattered enough for him to bring her to his studio to watch him work. You had been replaced. You knew it was your fault for running away and you knew that it was stupid to expect him to be waiting for you when you came back, but it hurt like crazy. How could you work and live in the same building as this man when your heart had not let go of him yet?

That night, feeling stifled in your little apartment, you went up to the rooftop. You couldn’t sleep. As soon as you lay your head down on your pillow, you just kept replaying the scene you’d witnessed earlier, and you couldn’t help feeling hurt. You just needed to get some air to clear your head.

When you pushed open the door to the rooftop, you startled someone who was sitting on a ledge and he turned to look at you. “Eo, noona?”

It was Daehyun. “Daehyunnie,” you said, smiling as you walked towards him. “Am I disturbing you?”

He shook his head and motioned for you to join him. “No, come on up.”

You hopped up onto the ledge and looked out at the lights beneath you. “It’s so bright,” you commented. You’d gotten so used to the darkness and tranquility of Cambodia that seeing all these bright lights flashing at you made it hard to feel relaxed.

“Yeah, that’s the city life for you,” Daehyun remarked. “Are you getting used to your new apartment?”

You shrugged. “I guess.”

Daehyun turned to you and smiled slightly. “Is something bothering you?”

You didn’t answer for a long time. Of course, lots of things were bothering you, but you didn’t want to saddle Daehyun with all your problems. “It’s nothing much. What about you?”

“I just broke up with my girlfriend.”

You were looking out at the cars below, but at his statement, your head snapped up and you stared at him in surprise.

Daehyun grinned. “Are you surprised? I had a girlfriend in Busan and I even managed to keep it under wraps for this long. But I guess some things just aren’t meant to work out.”

“Daebak,” you said, laughing. “I totally had no idea. I just saw all of you boys as kids, but it seems like I was wrong. What happened?”

“Noona, I’m 20! I’m an adult!” Daehyun protested, laughing along with you for a moment. “We just drifted apart I guess. It’s tough when we lead such different lives. Noona, you know that song you wrote? That’s exactly how I feel.”

You lowered your eyes at that. “That wasn’t meant to be a song. But since it turned out like this… What can I do? I’m glad it touched you though.”

“Noona, I don’t want to sound like I’m intruding in your affairs,” Daehyun began, looking slightly cautious. “But I broke up because things didn’t feel right anymore with my girlfriend, even though we managed to survive the distance and the secretiveness for this long. You and Yongguk hyung constantly coming back to each other again after being separated… Don’t you think it’s something special? Don’t you think it would survive all the odds?”

You bit your lower lip and thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared to try when everything seems stacked against us.” You smiled wryly at him. “I don’t know how to take risks. Do you think I’m a loser?”

“No, I don’t,” Daehyun replied. “Don’t you think that’s why you’re perfect for each other? Yongguk hyung does things recklessly and you’re here to reign him in.”

“You guys have to stop talking like it’s a fact that we’re going to get back together,” you stated, sighing. “He seems to have moved on just fine. I met his girlfriend today. Gosh, I wish I could hate her, but she’s just so damned… cute.”

Daehyun laughed. “She’s really something, isn’t she? It was like she locked in her target and pounced. But noona, do you really think a girl like that is Yongguk hyung’s type?”

“Who knows what his type is?”

“You’re his type,” Daehyun pointed out, nudging you. “Noona, he’s done so much for you this whole time. When we go to radio shows, he promotes your song more than he does our title song. Don’t tell me you’re not touched at all.”

You in a breath and slowly exhaled. “I… I suppose I am, but he’s making things so difficult right now, parading his new girl around in front of me and being rude to me. It’s not exactly like he’s sitting there with his arms open to welcome me back, you know?”

“Give him some time to get over his anger,” he advised, patting you on the back. “He and that girl… it’s not going to last. Trust me, he still loves you.”

You didn’t know what to believe, and you weren’t sure that you wanted to believe that Yongguk was still in love with you. If he had moved on, you could probably move on and start healing too, but hanging on to the hope that he was going to come back… If he didn’t, what would you do then?

“Don’t think too much, noona,” Daehyun said, his voice snapping you out of your thoughts. It was as if he knew that your mind was swimming with negativity again. He smiled sadly at you. “Time will heal everything.”

The two of you sat there for a long time, just chatting. There wasn’t anything much you could do or say to help Daehyun through his breakup, and he seemed to understand that. All you offered was a listening ear and comforting company, which frankly, was what you needed as well. Finally, both of you got tired and headed back down to your floor. Daehyun, being a gentleman, walked you to your door.

“Thanks for the company,” he said, sliding his hands into his pockets as he waited for you to open your door. “I think I really needed that.”

“I should thank you,” you replied, smiling. Then, seeing how vulnerable and tired he looked, you gave him a hug, patting his back. “It’s gonna be okay. If you need anything, noona will be here, alright?”

He nodded, squeezing you back. “We’re both going to be fine.”

You were just pulling away from the hug when someone cleared his throat loudly from across the hallway. Both of you turned to see Yongguk standing in front of the door to the boys’ apartment, his expression dark. He appeared to have just returned home.

“Goodnight, noona,” Daehyun said, patting you on the arm and smiling sympathetically before he turned to walk towards his leader. Yongguk held your gaze the whole time Daehyun was crossing the hallway, his face expressionless. You didn’t have the energy to deal with his moods. Looking away first, you entered your apartment.

Just the thought of having to see him every day drove you crazy with the urge to grab him and scream at him and ask him just what he wanted from you. Why did he help you find a job where he worked and a place to live where he lived if he was going to treat you like this? Why did he have to make things so damned difficult?

Author's note: I know some of you guys are getting really frustrated with my characters by this time, and I'm sorry it sounds bad, but can I say I'm kinda happy that you're all so emotionally invested in my fictional creations? I'm really touched, so thank you guys! :')

And also, since you're all such awesome readers who've waited patiently for me to post each chapter, I'm going to give you guys a little sneak preview: the next chapter will be super long and will explain some of the things that have been going on. 

I understand that some of you are starting to hate Hana or even my portrayal of Yongguk, and I won't really defend myself since I never set out to create happy fluffy perfect characters. The reason why I started really liking BYG and getting inspired to write about him was because I felt like he was someone with a lot of emotional depth. He feels to me like someone who's experienced a lot of pain, and also someone who's a little bit dark and damaged, and I think I tried to portray that as much as I could afford to. In fact, I actually started writing him to be quite cruel in the next chapter as well, but alas, after reading some of the comments, I caved and decided to lower my original limits of how far he could push Hana and still get her to forgive him. So, yes, hang in there with me a little longer and hopefully you will love him again!

I just hope you guys can keep in mind that people (especially lovers) do crazy, irrational things when they're upset. Have you ever looked back on a failed relationship and wondered what the hell you were thinking? I did, and I think I tried my best to portray this lack of reason. Also, I think if you love someone passionately enough, you often end up hating them with equal passion when you get mad. The video for 'I Remember' was really my starting point for envisioning this couple.

So, that's my defense for everyone who's been getting upset about my characters! It doesn't really bother me that much, but I thought I might want to consider my readers' feedback, so I did make changes to the story to make it happier and more romantic. Perhaps after this, I'll write a darker story where I can portray Yongguk in all his damaged glory, but for now, I hope you guys will continue to support this story!

Thanks for reading/commenting/subscribing etc! I do listen to feedback, so don't stop writing those comments!

xx.