Soon came the day when the boys were to make their comeback on Music Bank. You could tell that Himchan was starting to get moodier as the day came closer, because he felt bad that he couldn’t take part in the promotions. Even though he didn’t say anything, you knew that it upset him watching Youngjae take over his parts. You knew your brother well enough to read the hurt that passed through his eyes, however brief.

You sat with your brother in BAP’s waiting room while the other boys and the staff members bustled around, getting their hair and makeup done and changing into their stage costumes. He’d been trying to keep his spirits up and be encouraging for the boys, but he looked desolate sitting on the couch, his arm in a sling. You took his left hand and squeezed it, smiling at him when he looked at you. “Don’t worry, oppa. Just focus on healing, and you’ll be out there with them soon.”

“They don’t need me,” he said softly, and it broke your heart because he was usually so full of himself.

“Oppa, that’s not true, don’t say that,” you scolded, nudging him. “You guys are a team. You know they wish you could be on stage with them too.” He remained silent, but you could see that he was still troubled. Changing tact, you grinned at him conspiratorially. “Come on, oppa, you know you’re the most important in BAP. Why don’t you just take a break and let the other members shine a little?”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at your attempt to cheer him up, but his voice carried a mock sternness when he spoke. “Ya, don’t try to butter me up. I bet you tell Yongguk that he’s the best too.”

“Of course not,” you insisted. “How can he even be compared to you? Awesomeness runs in our genes. We can’t help but shine wherever we go, right? Kim Him Chan jjang!”

Himchan cracked a smile, leaning over to mess up your hair with his left hand. He knew you were naturally the pessimistic and negative one, and it took a lot of effort on your part to play the role of cheerleader the whole time he was recovering from his injury, and he appreciated that. As much as you got on each other’s nerves all the time, you both knew that you’d do anything for him and vice versa. He stuck out his tongue mischievously at you. “I’m going to tell Yongguk you said that.”

“Tell me what?”

Yongguk walked over, a smile on his face. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in his all-black stage costume. He was usually really casual and laidback and frankly reminded you of a shy neighborhood boy-next-door but in his stage outfit, he exuded a charisma that turned him into a different person. He was wearing leather pants, a blazer, a vest and even gloves, and was heavily accessorized with silver. The only thing that ruined the image was his dorky smile, which reminded you that he was still the same boy you loved.

“She said I’m the best BAP member,” Himchan told on you immediately, pointing a finger at you. “Bbang, time to step aside and let me be the leader.”

Yongguk’s eyes widened as he reached out his hand to grab you. “Ya! The last time, you said it was Daehyun!”

You ducked out of the way as both boys aimed their glares at you. “I only said that Daehyun is the most handsome!”

“Ya, Kim Ha Na, how can you say that when your oppa is the visual!” Himchan whined, smacking your thigh with one hand.

Yongguk Himchan instantly. “Ya, Kim Him Chan, don’t hit my girlfriend!”

“Why? Do I need your permission to hit my sister?”

You laughed at their silly squabble, feeling your heart swell with a contentment that had started to become familiar to you recently. The journey hadn’t been an easy one, but you felt extremely lucky to have everything in your life seemingly falling into place. Sometimes, you still couldn’t believe that you and Yongguk were finally back together again, and you were actually happy. Subconsciously, you reached out and touched his thigh, which happened to be the part of him that was right in front of you because he was standing while you were sitting. He paused mid-sentence and looked down at you, blinking with curiosity. When you realized what you’d just done, you laughed. “Sorry, just wanted to make sure that you’re real.”

“Why, am I too handsome in this outfit?” he teased, adjusting his clothes conceitedly.

“Anyone would look better with that much eyeliner,” Himchan sniped, earning himself a scowl from Yongguk.

You noticed that one of the buttons on his vest was undone and you automatically reached up to button it for him, scanning the rest of his outfit as you did so, just to check that everything was perfect. “Oppa,” you said, looking up at him. “Don’t you think you’re wearing your pants too low? They’re going to fall off when you dance.”

“No, they’re not,” he insisted, pulling up his pants slightly. You never got his habit of wearing his pants low and hanging off his skinny hips. He’d picked it up years ago when he’d started getting really into the whole hip-hop culture, and you’d nagged him constantly even then. It wasn’t that the look didn’t work for him, because it did, but you couldn’t help worrying about him exposing more than he needed too, especially since he had a long torso and his t-shirts didn’t always cover him up that well. Now that he was constantly being followed by cameras, you only worried more.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you expose yourself on TV,” you cautioned, frowning at him. “At least tighten your belt a little.”

He grinned in a slightly goofy way, showing you his gloved hands. “I can’t do it with these on.” He jutted his hips out towards you. “Adjust it for me.”

“Oh my God, you two are disgusting,” Himchan complained, jumping to his feet and moving away immediately. “Why are you even doing these things in front of me?”

You looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up. “We’re in a public place. Ask your coordi noona to do it for you.”

Yongguk raised his eyebrows at you. “You sure you want another woman to touch your boyfriend here?”

You turned to glare at him. “Wouldn’t you do that if I weren’t here?”

“No, I’d just take off my gloves,” he said, grinning cheekily at you. “But you’re here now. Can’t you just help me? No one’s looking.”

You looked around cautiously. Everyone was rushing around doing their jobs, and nobody paid any attention to you or Yongguk. Besides, the two of you were in a corner of the dressing room and since he was standing in front of you, it wasn’t likely that anyone could actually see what you were doing. Hesitantly, you scooted forward and undid his belt, hitching his pants up.

Yongguk flinched. “Ya, not so much! Just tighten it by one notch!”

“Aren’t these pants too tight?” you complained as you adjusted the silver buckle to tighten the belt. The leather trousers plastered to his skin, and as your hands worked on his belt, you could see the front of his pants tightening even further. “Ya, Bang Yong Guk, stop that!”

“I can’t help it!” he said, looking from the bulge in the front of his pants to you. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” you repeated, indignant. “You made me do this.”

“You were the one who said my pants would fall off,” he pointed out as you finished adjusting the belt and moved your hands away, standing up. “What am I supposed to do now?”

You stared at him as he pouted, pulling the front of his blazer close. “You’d better figure something out fast. You’re going on stage soon.” You saw his arms snaking around you, and you raised your hands to pre-empt him, pushing lightly against his abs. “Oh no, don’t even think about it. Settle it yourself!”

“You’ll pay for this tonight,” he whispered close to your ear before stepping back, giving you a naughty grin. The way he said it in his low voice sent shivers down your spine and you could feel your ears turning red. You had to bite your lower lip to keep your own grin from spreading across your face. “We’ll see about that.”

“BAP, get ready for pre-recording!”

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and you wished him luck, laughing softly to yourself as you watched him pull at his blazer conspicuously to cover his crotch. You sighed contentedly, following the boys with your eyes as they exited the room. Himchan was at the door, patting them on their backs and giving them encouraging words as they passed him. You joined him, waving to the boys, who were clearly nervous about standing on the stage for the first time with their new song. You turned to your brother after they left. “Go sit down, oppa. I’ll go buy you guys some drinks.”

“Do you need me to come with you?”

“You only have one hand, oppa,” you reminded him, putting your hands on his shoulders to steer him back towards the couch. “I’ll be fine. I’ll make two trips if I have to.”

You wandered out into the hallways, which was full of people rushing around. You never knew it took so much work to stage the weekly music shows, and witnessing such a scene gave you a whole new respect for all the crew working backstage with no recognition. You saw a few idols congregating in the hallways, and some couples sneaking some private time together, and for a moment, you thought about Hyerin. When you and Yongguk had been dating secretly without anyone knowing, all these sneaked moments, short as they were, had been the most precious. Did she also have these moments with Yongguk when they were together? Seeing the idol couples display their affection for each other backstage must have inspired jealousy among their peers. Did you take this away from Hyerin? As you wondered, you passed a door with the words “DASONI (EXID)” on it. EXID was the band that Hyerin was in, and DASONI was a unit group consisting of two of her members. Even though she wasn’t a part of the unit, wouldn’t she be there supporting her members? Without even knowing why you did it, you knocked.

A heavily made-up girl opened the door and her face fell when she saw you. They must have been talking about you then, you realized. Feeling small, you smiled politely. “Is Hyerin here?”

“What do you want?” the girl asked frostily.

You felt your throat turn dry and you swallowed hard before answering. “I… I just wanted to see how she’s doing.”

“She’s fine, thank you.”

The girl stood there, blocking the entrance and staring you down, and you were about to give up when the door opened up and Hyerin stood there, looking morose. “It’s okay, unni,” she said to her friend before turning to you and offering you a weak smile. “Were you looking for me?”

You nodded, noting how sad she looked, in contrast to the first time you’d seen her, when she’d been a bundle of energy. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for being so happy when she felt like this. However, you were relieved that she no longer seemed angry, and still looked quite healthy, and not all frail and teary, as you’d expected her to be. Maybe she was stronger and more mature than you gave her credit for. And of course, it was a huge bonus that she wasn’t lunging at you and trying to strangle you. “I just wanted to have a word with you,” you said, trying to read her expression. “If you don’t want to, I understand…”

“Come in,” Hyerin said, surprising you. She pulled the door open and ushered you in, leading you to the couch at the end of the room. Their room wasn’t as crowded as BAP’s, and was much quieter, since only two of them were promoting, and they were a newer group, but you could feel at least four pairs of eyes following you as you sat down. Before you could say anything, Hyerin spoke first. “Unni, I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. I was rude.”

Her apology startled you. “No, don’t say that. I’m sorry. Yongguk oppa was your boyfriend and I shouldn’t—”

“He was never mine,” Hyerin interrupted, her voice firm. “Don’t get me wrong, there were so many bad thoughts going through my mind when I first found out. I wanted to do so many things to get revenge. I even thought of calling the tabloids and exposing the two of you. That would have really ruined him and everything he’d worked for. But then when I thought about it, I realized it wouldn’t make him love me, and it wouldn’t make me feel good. I’m not a bad person, unni.”

You nodded, surprised at how mature she sounded. “I know you’re not.”

“Hurting you or him wouldn’t make him come back to me,” she continued. You’d forgotten her habit of rambling on without pausing for your input. You sat back and waited for her to finish speaking. “If I think back now, I was so stupid for even thinking that he loved me. He never said “I love you”—or even “I like you”, in fact—to me. He didn’t even ask me to be his girlfriend. I asked him if I was and he said “okay”. It’s embarrassing, isn’t it?” You shook your head, but of course, your reply was of no consequence to her. “He even told me about you without caring about how I felt listening to his stories about his ex-girlfriend. He told me about writing about you in his songs and when I asked him if he was going to write me one, he didn’t answer. When I found out about the children you adopted together, I was upset, but he refused to even take their photos down. He even kept that drawing of you right there on his wall where I could see it. My members said I was stupid because he was obviously not over you, but I didn’t believe them because I thought he was so nice and sweet to me. But what do I know? He was the first boy I ever dated and I just liked him so much.”

“I’m really sorry, Hyerin,” you said. “I started it all because I was selfish…”

Hyerin reached out and touched your forearm with her hand. “Unni, don’t apologize. I’m not angry with you. I’m still angry with him for lying to me, but even I can tell how much you mean to him. Why would I want to get in between the two of you? I’ll just take it as a lesson that I need to learn to grow up. My unnis say first loves usually end in heartbreak, and are bad experiences for us to learn from, isn’t that right?”

You didn’t have the heart to tell her that Yongguk was your first love, but technically, you had broken up and gone through other relationships, so she wasn’t wrong about it being a learning experience. Both of you were silent for a moment before you realized she was done talking. “I was just worried about you, I suppose,” you said, relaxing for the first time since you’d entered the room. “I’m glad you’ve thought things through.”

“Don’t worry,” she assured you, smiling as she stood to see you out of the room. “I won’t take too long to get over him. I guess it’s lucky we didn’t date that long.”

The two of you walked awkwardly to the door, and you weren’t really sure what to say to her. “Well, um, take care. I wish you all the best, Hyerin. You’re a nice girl. You really deserve someone who can give you their love whole-heartedly.”

To continue her streak of never failing to surprise you, Hyerin gave you a hug. “Thank you, Hana unni. I hope you two are happy. For real.”

When you finally returned to the room, the boys had all changed into their white outfits for Rain Sound, and Himchan was, expectedly, fussing over the fact that you’d disappeared for a long time and then returned without the drinks you promised.

“Where did you go?” Yongguk asked, his brow furrowed, when you walked up to the rest.

You smiled and shrugged, feeling light-hearted now that everyone was at peace. “Just sorting some things out.” It had gone a lot easier than you’d expected, but right now, it just seemed like the stars were aligning, like it was all meant to be. Your world was right again.

Author's note:

Long fluffy chapter for my lovely readers! It was exam week for me, hence the late update, but I wrote an exceptionally long chapter to make up for that.

Extra characters, as usual, are random. I don't really know much about EXID, but I just wanted any girl from any rookie girl group to throw into the story and I randomly picked Hyerin from EXID when I was writing Chapter 17. It was a complete coincidence that their unit group DASONI happened to be promoting at the same time that BAP were promoting One Shot. I didn't know it until I started writing Chapter 24, but I'm amazed that the facts turned out this way. I suppose all the stars aligned for my story too! ^^

I also have something else I need to compensate for. I will be going on vacation to Korea for 10 days (WOOHOO MAD EXCITED!), so I won't be posting any updates until I'm back. In the meantime, you can take your time to savor this chapter, or re-read the other parts, if you like.

I also have an important decision that I would like you guys to help me make. I've just about maxed out my ideas for this story, and I plan to wrap it up by 25 or 26. I already have the ending thought out, and in fact for the past couple of weeks, I've written the first 4-5 chapters for two new stories. I started working on another story about Yongguk as a musician, but halfway, I got distracted by all these other stories of gangster Bang and started writing one about gangs. And honestly, isn't he just so goddamn y as a bad boy? <3 Take a vote! Which would you guys rather read?

(1) A continuation of What My Heart Tells Me To Do.

(2) A music story between Bang and a TS trainee. He's very similar to how he is in this story and she's a bad girl with a troubled past and he just can't figure her out.

(3) A story of the dark underworld of Seoul, where y bad boy Bang seduces the daughter of a mafia kingpin to rise up the ranks. It's a world of treachery and betrayal, and nobody is really who they seem to be.

Let me know your opinions (would be nice if you gave reasons why) in the comments and I promise I'll take it all into consideration! I'll probably still be able to read the comments whenever I get wifi, so I'll still be around! As usual, I can't thank you guys enough for commenting and subscribing and upvoting. Keep up the good work and I'll keep up mine too! Thanks, love y'all!

xx.

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRvQ1oTD9oY This is the performance I'm writing about in this part. How can anyone not get distracted by his tight pants?!