It had been two days since your brother had dragged you to the doctor, and you’d been resting at home and trying to recuperate. You had no doubt that Yongguk had to be mad at you, because you were on a tight schedule to finish up the recording and mastering for the album before the boys started up their activities again. He could probably have completed the recording without you there, but for the editing process, he would need the entire team and your three days of sick leave was probably one of the worst things that you could have done to him.

You were slowly recovering, but still weak. At least the vomiting was getting less frequent. Himchan and the boys tried to check on you periodically, but time was scarce for them. In addition to finishing up with the recording for their album, they still had to rehearse for their upcoming concerts, learn the choreography for their new songs, and prepare for their Japan debut. That meant language classes, more recording when Yongguk was done with the Korean album, and more rehearsals. With so much on their plate, it was amazing how you were the one who’d collapsed first while they were all still going strong.

You climbed out of bed and checked the clock. It was eleven in the morning, which meant that you needed to get some food and take your medicine. You’d slept for almost twelve hours, and you’d already missed one dosage. You washed up quickly and went to your kitchen to try to find something to eat. Times like these, you hated the fact that humans needed food and sleep to survive. It was such a hassle, just staying alive. You could have done so much more with your time if not for these two essential activities. You thought of Yongguk, whom you knew thought the exact same way as you, and sighed. When you were together, you always thought about how different you were, but now that you were apart, you couldn’t stop thinking about the similarities that made you a good pair to begin with.

You opened a cabinet and sighed again, finding it empty. You’d forgotten to ask one of the kids to buy you some groceries. You tried the instant food cabinet.

Empty.

You’d finished the last packet of ramyun last night. Damn that stupid medicine that had to be taken three times a day. If you hadn’t had to eat three times a day, your food might have lasted you a little longer. You opened the fridge. There was nothing inside except some soda. What did you even live on before?

You could feel your stomach rumbling, threatening to rage again if you didn’t put food in it soon. You knew what was going to happen. Your stomach would start hurting so much that you’d break out in cold sweat, then your head would join the party, and then you’d lose all the strength in your body and throw up. You didn’t know why your body did that when you didn’t give it enough sustenance, but it just did.

Afraid of what would happen, you picked up your phone so you could order takeout. It was that exact moment that your brother called.

“Hana ya!” he greeted you in his chirpiest voice.

“Yes, oppa?” you answered, leaning on your kitchen counter as you held your phone to your ear.

“The guys at the office were worried about you and just wanted to check in,” he said. “I’m putting you on speaker, okay?”

Before you could even agree, you heard a few voices talking loudly over each other.

“Hana? Can you hear us?”

“Annyeong, Hana ya!”

You had to move the phone away from your ear a little because they were so loud. You chuckled, despite your condition. “Yes, I can hear you guys. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine! I should be back after another day or two of rest.”

“Are you still throwing up?”

“Not yet today,” you said. “Hopefully it’s not going to happen again.”

“Have you taken your medicine for the morning?” Himchan’s voice came over the phone again.

“Not yet,” you replied. “I was just going to order takeout before you called. I don’t have anymore food left at home.”

“I’ll buy you some food later when I’m heading back,” he offered. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday when you were running out?”

“I didn’t notice.”

He gave you a disapproving ‘tsk’. “You’re always so absent-minded. You can’t be so careless all the time, especially now that you have an added responsibility.”

You furrowed your brow. “I what? Why—” He started talking again before you could finish your sentence, but you stopped listening when you felt another wave of nausea hit you. “Oppa, I’m going to have to call you back. I think I’m going to throw up again.”

You hung up and threw your phone down before making a beeline for the bathroom.

You groaned after you threw up for what felt like the millionth time in the past three days. What kind of torture was this? Cold sweat dampened your skin and as you’d expected, your head started throbbing as you forced yourself to your feet. You went over to the sink and splashed some water on your face before brushing your teeth again.

You headed back towards the kitchen to get your phone, but before you could make it there, black spots started to blur your vision. You managed to maneuver yourself onto the couch before your knees buckled. You heard your phone ringing from where you’d left it in the kitchen, but you couldn’t drag yourself up to get it. Your body felt like deadweight, but your head felt amazingly light. The nausea returned, and you curled up on your side, willing it to go away.

You closed your eyes.

“Hana… Hana… Don’t scare me. Come on. Wake up!”

You woke up to someone shaking you. You opened your eyes and one person’s face came into focus.

Yongguk’s.

“Oh, thank God,” he said when he saw that you were awake. He was on your couch and holding half your body up. Then he pulled you into a crushing hug, much to your surprise. “I’m so sorry.”

You couldn’t register what was going on. There was a desperation in his voice that you couldn’t quite understand. “What’s going on? What are you doing here?”

He helped you into a sitting position, putting himself behind you so you could lean back onto him if you didn’t have the strength to hold yourself up. Being so close to him after your break-up was still uncomfortable for you, but he didn’t seem to notice it. He leaned sideways to pick up a cup from the coffee table and held it in front of you. “Here, drink this first.”

You were still bewildered by what was happening, but you obeyed anyway. You took the cup so you could see what was in it. You couldn’t really tell, but it was some kind of soup. You hesitated, but he still had one arm around you, holding the cup, and when he moved to cup towards your lips, you drank. You couldn’t really taste much, but it was warm and your body seemed willing to keep it down. You paused after one mouthful, waiting for your body to decide if it was going to reject it.

“Liquid food will be easier for your body to process for now,” he said, sensing your fear. He guided the cup towards your lips again. He did this a few more times, as if he were feeding a child, until the cup was empty. He put the cup away and gave you a concerned look. “Do you want more? I can make you another cup.”

You shook your head and sat up, tearing yourself away from the warmth of his embrace. “I’ll be fine after I take my medication.”

You made to stand up, but he stopped you. “I’ll get it for you. Where did you put it?”

“On the kitchen counter,” you said in a small voice, still trying to wrap your head around the situation. You watched as he went into the kitchen and returned with your pills and a glass of water. Your body already felt much better after getting some food, but seeing him move around the apartment with so much ease was making your heart hurt. He sat down beside you and handed you your medication. Both of you were silent as you popped your pills and washed them down. When you set the glass down, you realized that he was staring at you with a pained expression.

“Um, thanks,” you said awkwardly, not sure what to think. This whole time, when the boys were taking turns to drop in on you, Yongguk hadn’t even visited once. You had no idea why he was there, or what he intended to do next. He wasn’t saying anything and you didn’t know what to say either. The whole atmosphere was so awkward. Your eyes wandered all over the room before settling on him again, and you gasped in alarm. “Oppa… are you crying?”

He was by no means sobbing, but you could see a few tears marking trails down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice full of emotion. “I never should have let you go through all this alone. I’m sorry.”

You couldn’t even begin to fathom what was going on. Why did he keep apologizing to you? “What—”

“I’m sorry I was selfish,” he interrupted you, pulling you into a hug again. You were too startled to react, and remained frozen as he held you tight and buried his face in your shoulder. “All I thought of was how much you were hurting me and I never thought of how you must have felt when I said all those hurtful words. I saw all along that you were having a hard time, but I chose not to care. I made myself out to be some hero instead, telling myself that I had to be cold so that you could move on.”

The words he was saying were words that you’d been longing to hear, but somehow, the situation didn’t feel right. You had no idea what had sparked off his sudden bout of emotions. Yes, you were really sick, but he was making it sound as if you were about to die. You tried to pull away from him. “Oppa, wait…”

“No, I need to say this,” he insisted, holding on to you even tighter when he sensed your resistance. “I thought I could do it… I thought I could walk away from you. I thought I’d be happier and more focused without you, but all I felt was emptiness. I couldn’t even concentrate on work, watching you come in looking so broken every day. I’m sorry for making you cry when I promised to make you happy. I ignored you, thinking I was helping you let go of me, but I didn’t realize that I couldn’t even let go of you myself. When you told me you were quitting, I was crushed. I started doing all these ridiculous things… You were right, the recording didn’t have to take so long, but I found myself trying to drag out the whole process of making the album just so you wouldn’t have to go.”

You kept still, listening to him. You couldn’t stop your heart from fluttering at his words. Was he saying… you didn’t even dare to hope until he said it outright.

“Everyone around me said I was being stupid and stubborn. I’ve never been called ‘stupid’ so many times before in my entire life, you know?”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, although your heart went out to him. “You’re not stupid,” you assured him. Bang Yongguk was a lot of things, but stupid was definitely not one of them. You remembered your high school days, when he’d rather spend all his time writing raps than studying no matter how much you nagged at him. The moment his mom said he could do music if he got ranked first in class, he worked hard and did just that. When he wanted something, he did everything in his power to get it. Was that what he was doing now, forgetting his pride and breaking down in front of you?

“I met up with my siblings, and noona told me she invited you… And then she scolded me for her having to hear about us breaking up in such a circumstance. You should have seen her; she really ripped into me, and I think she used the word ‘stupid’ at least twenty times in an hour. But the thing that really struck me about her lecture was about my family… to them, you’re their family too. She said they couldn’t force me to stay with you if I don’t love you anymore, and my mom even said she’d take you as her goddaughter if you can’t be her daughter-in-law. She asked me to think hard about whether I still loved you… but that was never the problem. The answer was always a clear yes. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone else quite as much. I don’t know how we’re going to make it work, but now I know I can’t give it up that easily.”

You were crying now, silent tears rolling down your cheeks at the urgency in his voice. You could feel his own tears soaking your t-shirt as he continued burying his face in your shoulder. You would have thought that heartfelt words like that would be spoken with some eye contact, but he seemed perfectly comfortable just talking to your shoulder. You didn’t mind it that much. Having his voice beside your ear and being in his embrace was as comforting as you remembered, and you didn’t mind staying like that for the rest of your life.

“I never stopped loving you either,” you confessed, wrapping your arms around him. “I thought I had to try to move on, but instead of diminishing, my feelings just grew instead. And that made me feel worse because it looked like you were moving on…”

He shook his head. “I was just pretending… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never should have hurt you like that. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. I never should have doubted you. How can I, when you’re going through all this because of me? This must be incredibly scary for you, especially when you never wanted to be tied down by anything… I’m so sorry you had to go through this alone, but I swear I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll do anything… I’ll even give up everything and marry you…”

“Wait, what?”

Your exclamation had arisen out of confusion, but he seemed to have taken it to mean something else. He released you and looked you in the eyes, his face completely serious as he took your hands in his. “I’ll give it all up. I don’t have to be a idol but I’m completely committed to being a good husband and father...”

You couldn’t help the frown that creased your brow as your brain tried to put two and two together. “Oppa, what’s this about being a father?”

“You don’t have to hide it anymore. I already know that you’re pregnant. Himchan told me…” He gasped, a revelation suddenly coming into his head. “You can’t be thinking about getting rid of it, are you? I won’t agree to this!”

“He told you that I’m pregnant?!”

You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as you stared at each other. Confusion slowly started to take over his features when your brain somehow decided on the former and you burst into laughter. You laughed so hard that for a full minute, you couldn’t stop. Tears sprang to your eyes again, and you clutched at your abs.

“Wait, so… you mean you’re not pregnant?”

“No, I’m not!” you insisted, wiping tears from your eyes. “Ya, do you think that we’re filming a drama here? Just because I’m puking my guts out, I must be having a baby? For your information, I’ve been throwing up at all hours of the day. This is definitely not morning sickness.” His expression was still one of confusion and disbelief, so you reached for your bottle of pills on the coffee table and pointed to the label. “Look, it says ‘gastritis’. I swear, I’m not pregnant.” You thought about that strange phone call you’d had with your brother where he’d put you on speaker mode. “I think Himchan oppa meant to trick you.”

You were both silent for another moment as he struggled whether to be disappointed or relieved. Another dilemma was surfacing in your head. If he’d apologized and said all that he’d said because he’d thought that he needed to take responsibility for you and your child… What was going to happen now that you weren’t actually pregnant?

You looked down at the floor and he seemed to guess what you were thinking. He cupped your face with both his hands and tilted your head up to meet his eyes. “Just in case you’re wondering, I still mean everything I said. Except I do feel kind of stupid now.”

“You’re not,” you told him with a small smile. “My brother is an idiot.”

Yongguk smiled back at you, and you realized it was the first time you’d seen that innocent, angelic smile in a long time. “Yeah, nothing’s going to change except for the fact that I’m going to kill him. You might have to become an only child.”

You stayed in that position, just smiling at each other like two dorks until you broke the silence. “So, does this mean that we’re… going to try to make this work again?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

He grinned at you. “Will you be my girlfriend again? I can’t promise you that we’re going to live happily ever after, but I can promise that I’ll fight valiantly to make everything work out. No matter what, I’m going to be here for you and our future children and…”

You gave him a peck on his lips before he went any further. “We’ll take it one step at a time, okay? We’ll just stick with ‘girlfriend’ for now so you don’t have to quit your job.”

He pulled you in for a kiss, and you surrendered yourself to the euphoria. You missed his kisses so much. He deepened the kiss and you found yourself leaning forward, hungry for more. His hand was moving up your t-shirt and it was starting to get hot and heavy fast. Your hand pressed down on his left thigh as you shifted closer, and he winced, breaking the kiss abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, concerned.

Yongguk rolled up the leg of his shorts to reveal a huge purple bruise on the outside of his thigh. He blushed, sheepish. “Earlier, when Himchan was telling me that you were pregnant, I impulsively said um… I asked him what made him so sure it was mine, and he kicked me! He might look weak, but it really hurts.”

You didn’t even have the heart to be angry with him, hearing the whiny tone in his manly voice. You just laughed. “You totally deserved it.”

Author's note:

Sooo... there! So many of you commented expressing excitement about her being pregnant that I feel kinda bad for tricking you guys. I actually thought of just ending this chapter without the clarification bit after the blank space, but I thought cliffhanging you guys for another chapter would just be mean after all the "is she pregnant omgomg" comments. And btw, this whole gastritis thing has happened to me before a few times because I don't eat regular meals, and it does get really bad at times. I've thrown up and nearly fainted in public when I get these attacks, and I'm still not a mother yet, so yeah, as misleading as my writing may be, I still tried to be scientifically accurate.

For all you guys who are disappointed about Hana not being pregnant, I'm sorry! On the bright side, her not being pregnant makes the option of a sequel to this story more viable because it just wouldn't be realistic anymore if she did get pregnant and Yongguk had to quit being an idol, or worse still, hide her away while he continued being an idol.

Just a heads up, the next chapter will be the final chapter. There won't be anymore surprises since I decided to put the happy reunion in this chapter instead of pushing it to the next one, but I'll try to wrap it up as well as I can. My heart hurts already :( But well, here's a long chapter for y'all to laugh/cry hysterically over before I end the story!

Thanks again for all the love and do keep commenting!

xx.