Junsu opened his eyes that felt like they had been glued together. His body felt sore and the numbness had overwhelmed him, made him tired all over. He looked around, and realised he had been asleep in a hospital room. There was Junho, lying on the bed he laid his head on. Junho's face was covered with multiple bruises and his lips were torn. It might be Junho was involved in a fight when he was kidnapped.

Junsu still couldn't figure out why they were kidnapped, though the reason they were released without a ransom paid or any requests done. It was just like borrowing them for a while and then returned.

But not in the same condition.

Junsu found Junho almost drowned in Han River. It was like he was given a sedative and then was thrown into the river without mercy. It was freaking cold too in this season. When he found Junho he was as blue as a newly born baby, his eyes rolled backward like he was having a seizure attack.

"Hyung-" Junsu grasped Junho's hand, squeezing it in silent.

They knew. Junsu, they knew what we had done to Yoochun.

Junsu covered his face with both his hands. Junho was still unconscious, needed oxygen, learnt that he had almost ruptured his spleen and liver due to being hit regularly. His body was covered with old and new bruises. But Junsu could hear the beatings of his own heart when he wrapped his palms around Junho's strong hand.

The door suddenly was swung open from outside. Junsu lifted his head, his eyes darted at the person who just came in. His heart stopped when Yoochun's eyes met him. They were cold, as if he had never known each other before.

Junsu wiped his eyes and stood up. Yoochun looked at Junho for a moment before he gazed away.

"I want you to quit." he said, as cool as he always was. Junsu bit his lips, they were quivering. Yoochun let out a small sigh. Junsu could feel his eyes watered.

"I'll give it to you by this evening." but he refused to lament his own bad luck.

Yoochun clicked his tongue and left.

***

Yoochun didn't say anything else to Ahin after he asked Ahin (although not nicely) to go to the office alone. He claimed he would go home by himself, and he needed to go somewhere first.

Yoochun waited at the room where he could easily see the door to Junho's cubicle.

Not ten minutes later, Junsu walked out and he was holding his phone close to his ear. His face was red, his aura was gloomy. There was a pang of guilt in Yoochun's heart but he tried to deny it. He observed Junsu who had said nothing but listened to whoever was on the other line.

***

"Hello?" Changmin picked up the phone immediately after he saw Junsu's name appeared. He was just thinking about him and it drove him crazy. It hurts him too when he couldn't still forgive himself due to being careless with Jaejoong.

"Changmin..."

"What is it, hyung?" Junsu's voice sounded so tired. His voice was coarse, the sorrowful of whatever events was there.

"Nothing." there was a sigh. Changmin bit his lip, his heart still worried heavily for Junsu who for him had a lot of unfortunate events. "I just want to hear your voice."

"Do you want me to come and see you?"

"No. I'm at work." his words were choked up but Changmin pretended he didn't hear it. "Thank you."

"It's okay." there was silent but both of them didn't hang up the phone. Changmin waited for Junsu to say something but nothing came by. "Are you sure?"

"Are you in a hurry?"

"Uh...no...talk away,"

"You don't sound happy. Maybe I disturbed you..." Junsu’s voice was at Changmin’s limit.

"No..."

"It's okay, I'm going to hang up now..."

"No! Hyung! For God sake..." he almost shouted on the phone. "I know something is wrong, something is bothering you. Or else, you won't call me out of the blue? What is it now?" there, the word vomit had come out. "Don't do this to me, Junsu hyung. Don't let the puzzles choked me up until I couldn't breathe because I couldn't know."

"I'm sorry I did that to you."

"It doesn't matter, hyung. But please. Stop keeping everything to yourself. Called me because you missed me? Is that a new bull you created?"

"..." Junsu was silent, but Changmin could hear his ragged breathe.

***

Yoochun grasped the hem of his shirt tight. He was still staring at Junsu who was leaning on the wall. Junsu who always seemed strong despite whatever burden Yoochun brought him was breaking down. His shoulder stooped low, his hand covering his mouth to muffle his sob and his other hand clasped tightly the phone he put on his ear. Tears were wetting his porcelain skin, his cheeks tainted with unwanted blushes. His eyes were shut, as if he was trying to block the world out.

Yoochun's heart was sliced with a knife, splitting it into pieces that Yoochun's chest tightened.

Yoochun waited until his sob subsided.

"It's nothing, Changmin. Don't scold me like that." he faked a laugh.

Yoochun clenched his jaw.

It's always Changmin! Changmin, Changmin, Changmin! The fire of jealousy erupted again but Yoochun could only blame himself.

It was him who intentionally made Junsu like this, so he had no rights to be there for Junsu.

Junsu sighed into the phone.

***

Changmin put down his phone. Junsu just hang up after he said a silent thank you to him. He was still worried, despite of what Junsu told him. How could he not? He knew Junsu was crying, sobbing maybe but he wouldn't admit to it. Why should he? He had never done it before and he wouldn't miraculously do it now.

But what was it now? Yoochun or Yunho? Only one way to find out.

***

Junsu washed his face in the bathroom before he returned to Junho's room. His brother was still there, peaceful in his own state of dreams. He wondered what he was seeing in it, whether it was a nice one or a nightmare. He wished he could be in there, just so his hyung know he would always be there by his side.

Junsu leaned in and kissed his forehead. His eyes were heavy, wanted to shut again so that he could push the cruel world away. He wiped the non-existent tears and walked to leave his brother alone.

He's ready to leave his life.

***

Jiyong smirked at the screen. Then he turned to Seunghyun who was calculating something in his head.

"Once Kim Junsu leave, there won't be any obstacles at all." Jiyong stated, his tone was icy cold. The smirk lingered on his lips, he had been waiting for this moment.

He had been waiting for the day Yoochun would fire Junsu. Then Park Shin Geun would have no power on him, the bond would be broken.

That was what they were waiting. All of them were waiting when Junsu was not stable enough to be his brother's pillar.

"Too bad, brother's too sick." Jiyong said in a sing-song manner. "Too bad, one love too many," Seunghyun stared at Jiyong, but he said nothing. "One can hate. One can love..."

"Why do you care so much about Kim Junsu?" Seunghyun asked, finally after a long silence. Jiyong stopped humming to himself. "Wasn't Kim Junho's the better twin? The one with a greater power?"

"Yes, true. But his power is not stable. Not like Junsu. Kim Junsu learnt to control his power but Kim Junho couldn't. The Leader wants a more humble source, and Kim Junho was a distraction so Kim Junsu couldn't focus to what he was supposed to do. That's why we kidnapped Kim Junho, to distract him, to mentally torture him."

"Interesting." Seunghyun spoke. Jiyong eyed him cautiously.

"Say..."

"Hmm?"

"What would you do if it happens to me?" Seunghyun knitted his brows.

"What are you saying?"

"What if I'm in Junho's position? Or maybe...even Junsu's? What would you do?"

Seunghyun opened his mouth, hesitated but nothing came out. Jiyong scoffed, and brought his eyes away.

"Just like I thought." the smaller man muttered. Seunghyun held his breathe. He better not say anything at all, because now he would just misunderstand everything.

***

Junsu's legs felt so weak. He called the taxi and almost collapsed when the vehicle came to pick him up. He leaned on the canvas seat, threw his gaze outside the window when he saw a glimpse of Yoochun.

He sat up straight abruptly as if there was a new energy injected through his vein. He watched Yoochun who was obviously watching him went away.

Did he want to stop, but why should he?

Yoochun hated him.

But why was he there? Didn't he leave together with Ahin?

Damn it. He his ability, trying to read Yoochun's mind.

He could only hear profanities inside his head, and Junsu couldn't know who he was mad at.

But he wouldn't stop. He closed his eyes, and held on to whatever left of him until Yoochun’s voice faded away.

***

Junsu woke up from his brief sleep inside the taxi when the driver woke him up. He had arrived at Eunhyuk's house. He assumed Eunhyuk had leave home to work already, because the door was locked. He turned the key and entered the house, feeling the grief that he felt before overwhelmed him again when there's no one around. He sat down, opened his laptop and typed his own letter of resignation.

He couldn't believe his world would be turned around like this in a very short period. It seemed like yesterday Yoochun was embracing him, kissed his lips and smiled, only for him. He felt the physical pain now.

They could never erase the past. It was never okay to just make the history ceased to exist, it was there for a reason. And he could only hope the stars that he had collected in the happy period could last his life time.

"Hey..." not long after, Hyukjae came home. "You back already?"

Junsu didn't have the will to say that he was fired.

"I need a new job." Junsu could hear Hyukjae's soft gasp. He walked nearer to Junsu and hugged him from behind.

"I'm sorry,"

Junsu bit his lips to prevent himself from crying again.

"Now what would you do?"

"I'm going to have to find a new job, obviously." both of them chuckled lightly but the grief was still upon Junsu.

"Will you tell this to Yunho?" Hyukjae whispered, and Junsu heaved a sigh. "You just didn't tell him anything lately?" Junsu shook his head. "Junsu..."

"I'm just...I had lost my hope whenever I'm with him."

"But he's waiting for you."

"Sometimes I'm confused too about you, Hyukjae-ah. Who are you supporting?"

"I support all your decisions but it had been a while since you told him anything." Hyukjae squeezed his best friend's shoulder. "He's still your boyfriend if you haven't break it off yet. I don't want him to still think that he is, while you're obviously avoiding him."

"I just...I'm..."

"Maybe he had learnt what you want him to. Maybe it's time to finally accept him back."

Wait...

Junsu turned around and saw his friend staring back at him.

"Did you meet him lately?"

"I..."

"You did, didn't you?" Junsu narrowed his eyes. "And he persuaded you to get to me. Nice move, Yunnie,"

"He's worried. He's only thinking about you,"

"He wasn't when I was with him." Junsu turned back and typed the last words of his retirement. He saved the document and sent it to the printer.

"He wants to get back to you."

"He whispered to you, didn't he? He approached you," Junsu stood up and walked to the printer to take the letter. "Because as far as I know, you didn't support us that much,"

"Didn't he?" Junsu almost dropped his papers when suddenly he came in. Junsu shut his eyes tightly for a while before he turned around. Yunho was standing close to them, and Junsu didn't hear him enter.

It must be because he had been inside this house.

His ability must have been rusty now. He couldn't hear him.

"Come back," Yunho said in a solemn tone. "Please."

"I still haven't made up my mind."

"What's more to think? I'm here."

"Because he's not here." Junsu retorted. Yunho rolled his eyes, almost fed up with Junsu's irritable attitude.

"I can force you."

"If you do that, you had never cared for me." Junsu put down the paper. Yunho grabbed it before Junsu could stop him.

"You resigned?"

"You're happy now?" Junsu took the paper away from him. Yunho couldn't hide his smile. "You're happy I'm out of job?"

"I can support you." Junsu shook his head.

"You don't understand,"

"It's always that statement. 'You don't understand.'" Junsu looked away, and saw Hyukjae returned to his own room to give room to both of them. "He didn't need you like how I need you. Do you see it now?"

Junsu didn't say anything. Yunho exhaled.

"He fired you, didn't he?"

"I resigned."

"Huh," Yunho scoffed. "As if. Remember when you told me when you started working with him?"

"What?"

"'I will only resign when he fired me,'" Yunho smirked. "He fired you."

"Yunho, go away."

"I can take you back, can I?" Junsu smiled bitterly.

"Yunho..." Yunho took Junsu's hand and pulled Junsu into his embrace.

"Please don't leave me." Junsu closed his eyes. Yunho was too nice. He was too kind, but he would hurt him more if he's still with Yunho.

"Yunho, it didn't work like that,"

"Stay with me,"

"Yunho..." his voice sounded defeated. Yunho embraced him tighter, refusing to let go. "I can't be in this relationship. When we were young, maybe I need you but..."

"You don't need me anymore?"

"What's more to hold on to?"

"We promised each other."

"Because you made me. You whispered to me,"

"Because I love you."

"But you can't do this to me. You're making me fake it." Junsu sighed, but he returned the hug.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Let me go. It's about time." Junsu gazed at Yunho. "We're not young anymore. We're going to fall apart eventually, even if it's late," he traced Yunho's face with his fingers. Yunho took his hand and kissed the back of it. "It's to save the heart break,"

"You already broke my heart," Yunho's eyes glistened with fresh tears. Junsu caressed Yunho's chin, and kissed beneath his eyes softly. "Why it's so hard to have you?"

"You'll learn. You'll live."

"Why?"

"Because I know you. I can hear you, deep inside your heart, remember?"

"So then...you know what I want," Junsu shook his head lightly.

"But do you want to force me to love you. I tried but I failed. I'm sorry,"

***

Yoochun lifted his head when the door was opened from outside. Junsu entered. As soon as their eyes met, Junsu bowed down. Yoochun noticed there was a white envelope in his hand. His heart plummeted. Junsu put the letter on his table and bowed down again.

Yoochun tried hard not to think about anything. He knew Junsu could hear him.

Junsu didn't speak a word nor did he turn around to look his boss in the eyes for the last time. Yoochun balled his fists. His whole body was shaking trying to stop himself from plunging himself towards Junsu and to force him to fight him back. He was confused.

He let out a ragged breathe when the door was closed behind Junsu. Only then he realised he had no more connection with Junsu.

And he was terrified.

A/N You only appreciate something when it's gone. It applies to Yoochun.

hello everyone. thank you and sorry for sticking so long with this story...it's been hard to update with current me who is coping with life. my work had taken over me, that i didn't even have the time to meet and talk with my family members. i also had lost my father recently due to his chronic illness, there's no word of how i could describe about the loss of my life because he was the most important man in my life...and he went away suddenly. my life had also a turning point where i'm getting married in early March next year. i met him in hospital where i worked and because he and i were in the same profession we barely could date.

thus, the story of my life had disturbed you guys.

but thank you thank you for sticking with me along this time...please bear with it as Yoosu find a way to worm their way to each other's heart again.