BGM: SNSD Taeyeon - If

Seohyun’s P.O.V

Hyoyeon onnie was fall asleep now, now I’m alone again with thousand thoughts  on my head. I sat on my bad, thinking, trying to understand this messed up thing. God, why? Why it has to turned out like this. I took my diary and wrote over it, like I always do before I go to sleep. I heared my phone rang, all over again, and it was Yonghwa oppa. He still hasn’t stop to calling me. I know this was so unfair for him. But, if I pick up his calls I don’t know what I’ve suppose to say to him. I decided to checked my phone. There wasn’t only a lot of missed calls from Yonghwa oppa, but also a lot of test messages. I red one of the text. When I red it, I felt my sight was blurry, and it was because of my tears. Oppa’s words broke my heart into pieces.

Hyun, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with us? Why you have to do this? Why we have to be like this? Don’t you know that I’m hurting now? You’re hurting too right? Hyun, what’s the reason? I thought we’re fine, we’re fine as long as we love each other, right hyun? Saranghae. Good night Joohyun.

“Saranghae. Good night Joohyun” that words kept echoing in my mond. Even after this horrible thins that I did to him, how come he still say “Saranghae and Good Night” like we always do. Oppa, if only you know, I do feel the same. It’s killing me, really. But what can I do? What should I do? I just want you to be happy, I don’t want you suffer because of me. Oppa, it’s hard for me too, but please understand.

Na du saranghaeyo oppa, good night too, and please don’t be sad…

That was my last sentence on my diary. I really want to reply his text and say that words, but I have to control myself. I hope you hear that oppa. I hope you know that I did all this bad things because I love you. I’m sorry oppa. Cheongmal cwaesonghamnida. I closed my diary put it beside my pillow and decided to sleep.

*********************

(SNSD dorm)

Like usual, Seohyun was the first to woke up, then she woke up the other onnies because today they will practice again for their comeback. Yesterday she felt doomed, but today she felt better and she woke up SNSD onnies with her cheerful tone. Beside, she doesn’t want her onnies worried too much about her, so she tried to look better today, although deep inside her heart she still felt that pain, that hurt, the scar was still there.

“Practice..practice..and practice… could I get a day for break and sleep all day Leader-nim?” Jessica asked Taeyeon and she layed in the couch at the living room.

“Stop dreaming you sleepy head! Go get ready palli, we’re go in a minute” Taeyeon ordered Jessica.

“Ahrasso!” Jessica was finally got up, still felt annoyed because she didn’t  want to practice today.

“Onnieeeee breakfast’s ready!!!” Seohyun shouted from the kitchen, she prepared toasted and scrumbed egg and also milk for her onnies.

“Whoooaaa you prepared all this Hyunnie?” Sooyoung asked excitedly and just in a second she brought her breakfast to the living room and ate that right after.

“Ne.. come on onnie-deul let’s eat” Seohyun yelled again to her onniedeul so they can eat their breakfast faster. She joined Sooyoung in the livingroom to ate breakfast.

“Gomawoo Seohyun-ah”  Hyoyeon said to Seohyun and smiled to her.

“Aniyo onnie” Seohyun also smiled to  Hyoyeon.

Sunny also joined Seooyoung and Seohyun to ate breakfast in the livingroom, she sat beside Seohyun, then she asked Seohyun.

“Neo..kwaencanha?” Sunny asked worriedly and looked at Seohyun’s face

Seohyun just gave Sunny a smile and nodded, then she continued ate her breakfast.

“Chincha?” Sunny still asked worriedly.

“Ne onnie. Ggokcheongma” Seohyun gave Sunny her smile again.

Sunny still felt strange with Seohyun’s action this morning. Yesterday she looked horrible, but today she looked cheerful as if nothing happened. But one thing that Seohyun couldn’y hide from her onnie, even she looked cheerful and pretended that everything was okay, her eyes, that sparkling eyes, wasn’t there, that morning her eyes wasn’t sparkling like usual. Actually, all of her onnie-deul know that Seohyun wasn’t okay this morning, but it seems like Seohyun tried to hide her feeling and tried to looked stronger and better today in front of them, so her onnies except Sunny asked Seohyun again about yesterday. Jessica was the latest and got her breakfast in a hurry. When she saw Seohyun, she felt something wrong with the maknae’s outfit, who wore long sleeve.

“Hyunnie why’d you wear long sleeve for practice? You’ll feel hot like hell.” Jessica asked Seohyun

“Oh..this..this..because the weather’s a little bit cold so I wore this..” Seohyun suttered as she lied to Jessica.  It wasn’t because she felt cold but it was because the bruises all over her body, if her onnie and Jaewoon see this, the problems will get bigger and she doesn’t want that happen.

“Yah just mind your business Sica, you were the latest everyday to practice, better think of that than busy with Seohyun’s outfit” Hyoyeon shouted to Sica, because she already knew why’d Seohyun wore the long sleeve today.

“Enough enough! Lets go to practice room now. Kaja!!!” Taeyeon ordered to other members and the members followed her, heading to practice room.

When Taeyon opened their dorm’s door, she was surprised because she saw a guy stood in front of the door. It was Yonghwa.

“Ah. Yonghwa?” Taeyon widen her eyes and was hanging because she was surprised

“Ne annyeonghaseyo Taeyon-ssi” Yonghwa gave Taeyeon a weak smile.

“Nuguseyo onnie?” Seohyun walked from the livingroom and finally arrived at the front door. She was so surprised when she saw Yonghwa stood in front of the door, he looked so pale.

Taeyeon didn’t knew what to say to Seohyun, so she decided to leave them alone and finished their problems. Then Taeyeon told another member to go first to their practice room.

“We’ll go first, so take your time. Annyeong Seohyun, Yonghwa” Taeyeon said.

SNSD except Seohyun left the dorm and leave the couple alone. Seohyun remained silent and stood in front of the door. She didn’t dare to looked Yonghwa in the eyes. She felt so doomed just by looking to Yonghwa’s face that looked pale and his eyes were puffy. They’re still stood in front of the door, no one initiated to speak first. Until Yonghwa finally broke the awkward atmosphere between them.

“May I come in?” Yonghwa asked Seohyun. He looked to Seohyun and waited for her responsed, she kept her head down.

“Of course” Seohyun answered weakly and turned her body without even took a glance to Yonghwa.

Suddenly she felt someone wrap her body, and it was Yonghwa, he backhugged Seohyun.

“Don’t do this” Yonghwa said to Seohyun, still backhugged her tightly. He closed her eyes and placed his head on Seohun’s shoulder.

Seohyun kept silent with Yonghwa’s sudden act. She really miss him. She miss his hug, his warmness, his voice, his fragrance, she miss Yonghwa, so much.

“Don’t be like this Joohyun-ah. Please” Yonghwa’s voice cracked and he start crying.

Seohyun could feel his tears dropped on her shoulder. She felt like hell. Yonghwa, her beloved namja crying because of her. She tried to release from Yonghwa’s embrace, but Yonghwa tighten his hugged. Seohyun couldn’t bear eat anymore, and she cried. Yonghwa released her embrace and turned Seohyun’s body so he could see her face. Seohyun kept her head down, didn’t dare to look at Yonghwa. He saw Seohyun also cried, so he took her to his embarace again. After awhile they were kept hugging until Seohyun finally release herself from Yonghwa’s embrace.

“Oppa.. I…” Seohyun finally spoke up

“Do you still love me?” Yonghwa cut Seohyun’ words

“Ne?” Seohyun surprised by Yonghwa’s question. She still didn’t find the fake reason for their broke up.

“Do you still love me?” Yonghwa repeated his question.

“Oppa what do you mean? It was not because of that”

“Then answer me. Do you still love me or not?”

Seohyun kept silent and didn’t answer Yonghwa. “What should I do? What should I tell to him? Is it really the best way? It’s impossible to let him knows what the reason was. What should I do?” Seohyun was busy with her thoughts. She still tried to find the fake reason, but she couldn’t find any.

“Do you really want to bre-- ” Yonghwa was about to asked Seohyun again but his words cut by Seohyun

“I don’t love you. I don’t love you anymore”.

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Annyeong gogumas! Annyeong readers! I decided to changed my writing style, so how was it? I hope it makes you guys feel more cmfortable. Thanks for subscribers and readers or maybe just vewers. Hihihi. Enjoy reading! Don't forget to leave comment or subscribe me! Danke! ^^