When Kris and I were finally done with the dinner, we were both drenched in sweat and both physically and emotionally drained. I felt sorry for his future wife; she would have a hard time controlling both his raging hormones and complete incompetence in home economics. When we set the food down on the table, still handcuffed, our parents clapped in delight. They looked like a bunch of kids getting their Christmas gifts opened.

“How was it?” my mother asked, poking her fork into the chicken to see of it was cooked through.

“Terrible,” he groaned as I landed a vicious kick to his foot.

“It was an absolutely endearing experience,” I announced, smiling broadly. The faster our parents believed we absolutely loved each other, the faster we would get out of their ridiculous bonding program. I was dreading to hear what we had to do next.

“This pasta is awesome!” Mr Wu cheered with a happy smile. “My tummy is going to have a fantastic time!”

Kris looked like he wanted to drop into a hole, curl up and die. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t enjoying watching him suffer. My mother eyed the food critically and chewed slowly, savouring every little flavour. My mum was as hypersensitive as a werewolf. She could hear, see, taste and smell everything we did. Like the one time I passed some wind in the car and just by the sound, she could tell I had pigged out on junk food. Nothing ever escaped my superwoman of a mother.

“The chicken’s a little overcooked,” she said, eyeing the two of us as Kris squirmed uncomfortably. “What were you two doing in there? Canoodling?”

“NO!” I gasped. Except that was exactly what we were doing. The parents smirked into their food as we stood awkwardly in front of them, still handcuffed.

“Um so can we uh be free now?” Kris asked with a pleading expression. The parents kept eating, still smirking. My father wiped his mouth and looked at us with an innocent expression.

“Who said you were done?” he chuckled, obviously enjoying the looks of horror painted on our faces. “You guys are going to your homework together, handcuffed.”

Dread pooled in my stomach. Tomorrow, a physical health assessment was due on the inner workings of the female and male reproductive system. Kris would have a jolly time bullying me as I tried to label different parts of a . I buried myself in the one hand I had left.

“You guys are utterly evil,” I groaned as I sat down to eat. Too bad Kris had my right hand and I was right handed so I couldn’t even slip a spoonful of pasta in my mouth with my left hand.

“Kris, give me back my goddamn right hand,” I yelled. “Do you want me to starve to death?”

“You want me to feed you?” he snapped back. “I have to eat too!”

“Aren’t you right-handed?” I asked as he shovelled a piece of pasta awkwardly into his mouth, narrowly missing his nose. “Oh my god, you spawn of the devil, stop pretending to be left-handed so I can eat in peace!”

Kris smirked and started eating properly. I was so tempted to strangle him but our parents probably wouldn’t approve.

Our parents chuckled as Kris’s mother made the most embarrassing comment ever. “They do look like two lovers quarrelling don’t they?”

I choked on my pasta as Kris stiffened visibly beside me.

“Yeah,” his dad laughed. “They’ve always argued like two little love-birds, I was just wondering when the hell they would get together.”

“Dad!” he hissed, embarrassed and red in the face.

“Sorry to disappoint but that’s never going to happen,” I muttered, taking in a full view of Kris eating in a much unreserved manner. There was no way me and that idiot-

I shook my head in denial.

No way. 

A/N: 

Um LOL.....

I'm down with a cold, how weird is that? It's like the beginning of summer in Australia and I have a cold? That's some weird crap... :L