http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvvVDYYLqoE

Jaejoong

Now, now Su. Aren't you a bit too obvious? Even a blind man could see that you still love Chun.

"What are you going to do about Yunho?" he asks me straight forward.

"If I meet him again, finding us in the same place as I left him, I will tell him."

He wouldn't care anyway.

"That's the only right thing to do." he agrees.

"Then, why do you want to keep it from Yoochun? Wouldn't he find out sooner or later?" I want to know.

"I just don't want him to know. We finally managed to head back to the way we were, as friends. If he knew, I would lose him for good,... I think."

I nod.

Maybe you are right, Su. Knowing Chun, he would feel too guilty. He is just too pure, unlike me. I envy him because of that. I let Junsu forgive me too easily. I don't deserve so much courtesy.

I feel so greatful that he still talks to me, even though I did something as stupid as this so I can't help it but smile a bit.

"You look better this way." He suddenly says.

"What?"

"When smiling, you look better that way." he grins at me.

"But I want to make clear that I can't act as if it didn't happen. I will try to understand bit by bit, eventhough I can't promise that I'll manage to."

"Thank you." Is all I manage to say.

I wouldn't be capable of doing that. How can your heart be so big, Su?

We keep silent again for a bit. I can clearly see that Su is thinking hard about something.

"Can I ask you something?" I say.

"What?"

"About you and Chun."

"You don't tell me about your thoughts either, hyung."

"Hm... that's true."

He looks at me thinking until his eyes sparkle.

"How about a deal?" he suggests.

"Deal?"

"I know that you tend to keep everything to yourself. But occasionally one has to say it out loud."

"What...?" I start but Junsu continues my sentence.

"...I suggest is that you answer my questions and I will tell you our whole story."

Now you know how to take advantage of a situation like this. Maybe it's a good idea to just go along with that.

I nod and feel my heart speeding up.

"Alright. You ready?"

I don't really respond to that, because I will never be ready for something like this.

"How are you feeling?"

What?' How are you feeling?'? That's your first question?

"Alright."

"No. I want to know how you feel in detail. Like the past few days."

How can I explain? He wouldn't understand me anyway.

"Nothing, and sometimes too much."

"In what way?" He seems to really want to know.

"Empty, being held captive in a deep black hole. Not feeling anything, like an empty shell. At those times I forget how to cry."

He silently waits for me to continue.

"From time to time I feel helpless. I don't know what to believe in anymore. If breaking free is all the trouble worth it. I miss..." my voice cracks, refusing to speak out the last thing I want to think about.

"I miss Yunho ... so much. Not knowing how he is doing... it nearly kills me. With him I left my heart and soul behind."

Even I can hear how shallow my voice sounds as I talk about it. Sometimes despair shines through, but all in all the thing happened what I was afraid of. Talking about all this exposes my inner pain.

I can't keep on talking.

"About one year ago, I stayed over at Chunnie’s place. We were talking about ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-0fBQpQzBM

Yoosu's story

"Do you think we made the right choice?" I ask Yoochun.

"I don't know. But I am sure that we had to make this choice, no matter if it is right or wrong."

"Why do you think that?"

"The things that are supposed to happen, will happen anyway, sooner or later. And I believe that this is one of these things."

"Hm. Maybe."

We are lying next to each other on the floor and look outside the window at the dark sky, our heads nearly touching.

"You believe in fate." I state the fact not asking him a question.

"Mhm."

"So, do you think that it's also fate who you fall in love with?" I ask trying to sound nonchalant.

"Mhm. Since I saw Yunho hyung and Jae hyung."

"I guess so. They definitely are meant to be together. But don't you think it's too unfair that fate parted them like this?"

"Maybe. But a relationship is not meant to be easy either."

My heart is racing as I am about to say the next words.

"Then would that mean we wouldn't be fated to be together?"

Yoochun suddenly sits up and looks at my face, wearing a surprised look on his face.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I... Hypothetically... I meant... just in theory..." I stammer, searching for words in panic.

He suddenly loses his spirit and sinks back down on the floor.

"Then hypothetically... if it was about us, I'd say fate gave us another opportunity to make the right choice."

"The right choice..." I think about what he just said for a while, trying to make out what he meant by that.

Did he try to say that he likes me?

"And what is the right choice?" My heart is racing as I wait for his answer.

"Being honest."

I turn my head to look at him not sure what to say next.

Is this the right moment to tell him how I think about him? What if he rejects me?

"But being honest can bring disappointment with it." I decide to say in the end.

"Disappointment is better than regretting to have not taken the risk."

I get up and support my upper body with my elbow resting on the floor.

"Then why don't you just tell me?"

Why did I just say that? You are too impulsive Kim Junsu. You blockhead.

"What? That I love you?" Chun says matter of fact still lying next to me looking up to me.

"What?" I whisper.

"I used my opportunity. Now it's up to you if you take that chance or not." he smiles sheepishly.

"I... I... "

Just opening and closing my mouth like a fish won't help! I have to say something.

But I don't even have the chance left to say anything. Yoochun pulls me down to him, hugging me tightly against his chest. I can hear his heart; it's beating as fast as mine. I feel happiness overwhelm me and my lips curl up into a wide smile.

We keep lying there for some time until Chun shifts around so that we can look into each other’s eyes. His eyes are pitchblack, giving them the look of buttons. The moonlight reflecting in them make him look like some figure from a fairytale.

Once more I explore his face that holds a unique beauty. This high, pointy nose; the chubby, cute cheeks; the full, curved lips. His features are so well composed I feel a bit jealous, but at the same time happy to be able to see him so close up.

Without me noticing we get closer until I can feel his warm breath on my hot skin.

We move at the same time, our lips touch softly; nearly shy. I feel dizzy. I haven't known until this day, what a simple, shy kiss can make your body go through.

Bit by bit I realize how deeply I love him. Every tiny bit of him, even those things I always claimed to be annoying.

"That day I understood what it means to love someone so dearly for the first time." I end the story and I feel my heart racing, as I remember this moment.

Everything seemed so perfect. But in the end I ran away, hurting the both of us. That is why I blame myself for the thing that happened between hyung and Chun.

I can't really make out what Jae hyung is thinking, but he obviously is in deep thought.

After a while he speaks up.

"Why don't you continue?"

"I will keep that for later, when I feel that you need someone to talk to."

"That wasn't..."

"Uh, uh. I never mentioned that the deal counts only for today. If you don't talk on your own, I have to force you."

And that was the final word; hyung gives in to my stubbornness.

I won't leave you behind, hyung. I will show you the way to a bright day again. I promise.