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Jaejoong

"I'll help you" Hyunjoong says.

I feel like suffocating right now.

I wanna get out of this damn car. I need to get out of here!

The moment I grab the handle Hyunjoong locks the doors and yells at me if I want to get myself killed. Totally pissed I look out of the window into the dark night. I notice that the street lights get less and less as we drive and at some point there are hardly any left, so I can't even make out where we are headed.

Damn Hyunjoong. What do you think you are doing? You don't know what you are doing, that's it. Why do people always have to interfere in my business? I'm becoming crazy for good like this. I've had enough heartache for a live time already. I'm fed up. I can't do this anymore. I just can't.

I breathe heavy but I try my best not to show it. I don't want Yunho to notice how hard it is for me to be so close to him.

The drive takes quite a while, I think about an hour or maybe longer already and we drive through some forest, uphill. I have no clue where we are going anymore. I won't have a way to get away until Hyunjoong comes to his senses and takes us back.

Maybe I will makehim come back to his senses.

Finally we stop somewhere nowhere and Hyunjoong turns off the engine. Now everything goes quickly. Hyunjoong gets out of the car and another car stops not far from us.

"What is Su...?"

That's Su's car. I should have known that he was in on it. That's why he kept behaving so strange.

I try to hurry after him but the door is still locked. Without thinking for too long I climb to the front seat and get out of the car. Hyunjoong is already headed towards Su's car.

"YAH!" I yell after him but he ignores me. I feel really angry now and I scream at him to come back but he keeps going.

The front window of the passenger door is rolled down so I can see into the car. Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun look out widely smiling at me. Hyunjoong slams the door shut and rolls down the window. I keep yelling after him but he doesn't seem to care at all.

"YAH! LEAVE THE KEY HERE!"

"See you later!" he shouts and waves with the key.

I pick up a hand full of stones from the ground and angrily throw them after the car.

"YAH! Come back! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

I kick a stone with my foot and continue screaming "ARGH! Bastards!"

Now I remember that Yunho is there too and I can't take it anymore. I decide to get out of here and storm away.

"Hey. Where are you going?"  Yunho tries to stop me by grabbing my wrist what sends an electric shock through my body so I break free at once.

"Leave me alone!"

"Where do you think you are going? We have no idea where we are. You could get lost."

I feel a sting in my chest at his worried tone but I shake it off.

"In what way does that concern you, huh? Just disappear from my sight." I hiss hoping that this will make him back off.

"Don't be stupid, Jae!"

Don't call out my name. Please. Do you know what that is doing with me? Ugh.

I swallow hard.

"I don't mind being stupid! I just don't want to see you, ok? I just can't! So leave me alone!"

He keeps following me. I kind of panic and oversee a big stone that is lying in my way and I fall over it twisting my ankle. I howl in pain as I fall to the ground.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" Yunho rushes over but I don't want him to care about me. I don't want myself to think that there is any hope left, so I force myself up but it's useless. I fall back down.

"Stupid stone. Why does it have to be where I want to walk?"

Suddenly Yunho grabs me and pulls me on his back. I try to get back down and I even hit him, but he won't loosen his grip on me. The familiar feeling of his back makes me give in to him and let him carry me to the car where he lets me down on the front seat. He gets the first aid kit out of the trunk and bandages my injured leg. As he lifts up the leg of my pants I get all tense.

Thank god it’s so cold out here. I try to breathe steadily to calm down a bit.

As he fiddles around to treat the foot I can feel the old wound stinging a bit as he puts on the bandage.

"So all done. You shouldn't step on it until we can see a doctor." he says concerned.

"Tsk." I say to clumsily hide my confusion.

"We need to put your foot on something." he says to himself and spots the carton box with the lamp in it. "Ah. There." he goes around the car and takes out the box.

"Why the hell does he put a seatbelt on that thing?" he says to himself and walks back to me. Yunho puts down the box and places my foot onto it. Then he goes to lean on the hood.

Those crazy bastards... they will definitely pay for this. I will kill them when I see them. ARGH! How could they?

I check my cell phone so I can call a cab, but here is no reception at all. Angrily I throw it on the back seat.

Great. We are somewhere nowhere!

I am still sitting on the front seat of Hyunjoong's car my legs hanging out of the car, the right leg resting on the carton box of the lamp Hyunjoong bought today. I look at it angrily.

So now I know why he put that stupid lamp in the front seat. He is so going to pay for it!

Yunho is facing the other direction. I feel all the grieve coming up again that I had buried deep down after Yunho had told me to break up, just like this. I still don't know the reason, or rather, I don't want to believe that the reason was that he didn't love me anymore.

"Why did you break up with me?" I hear myself say.

What did I just say? Did I say it out loud?

He looks back at me surprise all over his face.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget it." I say and look the other way.

For a while it is silent, the only sound I can hear is the whooshing sound of the wind in the darkness. The chilly wind blows through my hair sending a shiver down my spine.

"It's not the reason you think it is, Jae." Yunho suddenly says making me swirl my head around to look at him. I listen to him tensed, waiting for him to continue afraid I’d ruin this chance I can learn the reason for my broken heart, but he doesn't say anything. I can't take it anymore and ask without thinking.

"Then what other reason is there?" Even I can hear the bitterness in my voice.

He doesn't answer again so I just keep on talking.

"What other reason weighs enough for you to break up with me? I thought we loved each other..." my voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

"I already said, that's not the case. I loved... I love you." he says it so lowly that it takes a while until I get what he just said. I jump up and fall down since my foot can't carry me.

"Ouch!"

Yunho rushes over once again and helps me up onto the seat.

"Don't be so reckless. What if it's broken again?" he scolds me. I feel relieved that he seems to worry about me.

"No it's not. It's just sprained. It will be alright in no time." He kneels before me looking up into my eyes. Although I can hardly make out his features because of the darkness I feel my heart speeding up.

"Do you still feel the injury from back then?"

"Huh? Oh. From back then when we were still as five… yeah, sometimes." I can't hold his strong gaze so I break and clear my throat.

"What you said just before..."

"Hm?"

"Did you mean it?" I whisper completely nervous, my hands sweating like crazy.

"Mhm..."

"Then why...?" I stop in the middle of the sentence. I just can't keep on talking out of excitement over his answer. I wondered the past years what he really felt or didn't feel for me and now I finally know. It feels not real.

Yunho sits down on the carton box and a cracking sound comes from it. Our eyes widen as we hear the sound of the breaking lamp.

"Oh. Oh." Yunho says and slowly turns to look at the box guiltily. "What was in it?"

"A lamp we bought today." I say grinning at him.

Ok. Now we are even, Hyunjoong. Imagining his shocked face I giggle.

"He will survive it I guess." I say and laugh quietly Yunho laughing with me.

"Huuuum... so..." Yunho sighs.

"So?"

"I guess I owe you an explanation."

"I guess so." I reply anxiously waiting for him to start talking.

"How should I start? Um... as I learned that the three of you decided to sue the agency I was worried. Since my father said I couldn't do the same as you, that I have a responsibility towards him and my family I saw no way out." Yunho pauses. He stares into space as he talks. I can feel that it burdens him to talk about it what makes me feel bad.

"I was aware of the fact that staying will force me to follow the contract and that the agency will eventually make me do and say things I don't want to. I was sure that I would hurt you even if I don't want to. And of course I won't be able to explain. They check our phones and mails and so on. I was afraid of that. I thought making you hate me would make it easier for you."

We keep silent for a bit because the mood is a bit tense.

"You stupid." I say causing Yunho to look at me in surprise.

"What made you think it would be easier? I believe in you no matter what. And in Changmin too. I know how the system works and the both of us know the truth. So..."

"Thanks a lot for the compliment… hm… but I guess I should have been more confident."

"Uhm... you should."

"I can see your breath. We should go into the car. It's too cold out here." Yunho says and helps me up and lifts me onto the backseat.

“Argh. Something stings into my back.” I reach for it and pull out my cell phone I had thrown there before.  I pull up my nose, which is running because of the cold.

"Could you check if there are some handkerchiefs in the clove box?" I ask him and he searches the box.

"Hey! Look here." he says in excitement and holds something up in the air.

"Oh my god. That's the spare car key." I say excited.

"Uhm... does that mean that we drive home now?" Yunho asks clumsily hiding his disappointment.

"No. I'd say it means we got a heater for the night." I say sheepishly and smirk at him.

He smiles back at me closes the doors and switches on the heater before he climbs on the back seat. We sit there silently, Yunho hugging me tightly and we enjoy the moment for now.

"I am sorry, Jae. For hurting you. I hope you can forgive me." he says looking at me with those puppy eyes.

"I will think about it" I laugh at him.

He softly kisses my lips and I respond, but before we can go any further he softly whispers something in my ear.

"I love you."