Yoochun

“Hey, Yoochun. What is it?” he says happily as if everything was alright.

“Why’re you at hyung’s place? “ I say in an exaggerated angry tone.

“What is your problem?”

“It just seems that you have more than enough time to visit other people. And you don’t even think it’s necessary to tell me?” I say all fired up now.

“Am I not allowed to make my own decisions?” Su says annoyed.

“No one mentioned you couldn’t make your own decisions. What I’m talking about is that it seems I am not as important to you as everyone else.” I say pissed.

“Let’s not discuss this on the phone. I will come over.”

“No thanks. Just stay. I’m leaving.” Even to myself I sound like a spoiled child as I say this.

“Don’t act so childish. I’m on my way, ok?”

“I’m at your place. I won’t wait for long so hurry.”

“Yes. See you in a bit.” He says and hangs up.

What the hell is wrong with him?

I look at the phone in disbelieve. The past few weeks have been just too stressful and exhausting for me so I am overreacting easily. As if it’s not bad enough already, this realization comes too late again.

RIght. It’s not him. It’s the other way around. I should ask myselfwhat is wrong with me. I am acting like a jealous wife right now.

Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. What will he think of me now? I’m sure he’s mad at me for behaving like this.

I pace the room as I wait for him to come home, trying to sort out my messed up thoughts.

I should apologize. Otherwise he will be fed up someday and I’ll be left behind for good this time.

Sooner than I expected I hear Junsu coming into the apartment and walking into the living room where I am waiting for him impatiently. The moment I see his face I feel how my spirits lift and my anger at him disappears completely.

I walk over to him and pull him into a tight hug. Junsu obviously is startled at my overly joyous welcoming, and is paralyzed for a few moments until he shyly hugs me back and pats my back softly.

“What is going on here? I don’t get this situation Chun.” He says sounding unsure if he should be happy or rather worried at my strange behavior.

“I just missed you so much.” I respond and smell the scent of his neck causing goose pumps at the sudden sensation.

The moment I say this he relaxes and lets himself sink into my arms and he snuggles into my chest.

“I missed you too. I missed you so bad, Yoochun. You can’t imagine.”

We stay like this for I don’t know how long, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies. As I close my eyes I feel his even breath on the bare skin of my collar, feel his fingertips as they my back, feel his quickened heartbeat, which assures me yet another time that I still make him feel nervous. It gives me a feeling of security and takes a bit of my anxiety, for I won’t ever be sure if I am enough for him.

Millions of thoughts cross my mind, but not a single one is able to linger in my brain long enough to actually pay attention, since I am too busy with indulging myself in this one moment.

In my trancelike state I don’t even remember who of the two of us broke the embrace, but suddenly we stand there looking into each other’s eyes with stupid wide smiles on our lips.

I watch the sparkle in Junsu’s eyes with amazement, not sure if there will ever be another person with these kind of eyes. For sure there won’t ever be.

“How about we take a seat?” I hear Su say, but it sounds as if he is miles away from me.

“Oh, yeah. Let’s do that.”

He takes me by my hand and leads me to the sofa and makes me sit next to him. He puts down his key and mobile on the small side table.

“Yoochun? You alright? You seem really out of it.”

“Huh? Uhm… yes I am alright. It’s just… “ I don’t finish the sentence.

“It’s just? You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you.” Junsu says in a soft and understanding way.

I take a deep breath and reassemble my thoughts.

“I can’t get a straight thought. Just like before on the phone. I overreacted. I am sorry. I know you’re busy and stuff and there is no reason for me to be jealous when you visit hyung…”

I tell him about what things have been chasing me lately and somewhat I actually feel a little better but still my face feels hot of embarrassment as I tell him that I have actually been jealous of him and hyung.

“Never mind. It’s alright. I should have let you see my face before hyung. You know how dull I am sometimes.”  he says.

I have to laugh at his words and let my head rest on his shoulder.

“But I am still mad that you didn’t even call me to meet up even though you knew that I am back already. Did you do that on purpose?”

“Why would I forget on purpose?”

“You’re actually telling me you forgot me? Wow, that’s mean you know?” I say in a joking way, but in fact I do feel a bit offended that he actually forgot about me.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He says apologetically.

“It’s alright. It’s not as if I didn’t forget you before.” I say teasing him.

“Aw, and you dare telling me I’m mean?”

Let’s distract him.

“Yeah. I can take care of myself. What is a helpless child like you supposed to do without me?”

“You calling me stupid again?” he pushes my head off his shoulder. I can’t help myself but to chuckle at his cute expression whenever he’s mad for me teasing him.

He pouts at me and gets up.

“I am taking a shower. You stay or leave… do whatever you want.”

“Would I want to miss the sight of a half Junsu that has dripping wet hair?”

Su stomps out of the room huffing and then vanishes in the bathroom.

I make myself comfortable on the sofa and switch on the TV. I hear as the water starts pouring out of the showerhead a minute later.

As I am waiting for him to finish, his phone buzzes announcing Jae hyung’s call.

I take the phone and pick up the call.

“Hey hyung. What is it?” I say and my heart drops at the sound of his drunken voice.

“Shunsu. I am sorry. But I have to tell him…”

Cactus

Oh! There he is again. But what is this expression? I don’t know it.

“Why do you blossom even though I am doubting like this? It really makes me feel sad to see how optimistic you are.”

Sad. This look means sad. But why are you sad? Always keep the faith. As long as I blossom…

Jaejoong

The loud music sounds through the whole apartment and I sit on the floor, in front of that green spikey plant, that points at me judging with this bright, beautiful blossom on the top of it. Its fragile petals don’t seem to be affected at all by the pointy spikes, scratching the soft surface, leaving delicate, nearly invisible scratches behind. I cautiously trail one of those marks with the tip of my finger.

I can hardly feel any difference to the uninjured surface.

Is this how my heart looks like? What will Yunho’s heart be like if I tell him? I am not even able to tell him the truth. How could our relationship survive if I am this big of a coward?

I am fascinated by this sight and am completely focused on these petals. But then there is a clink of the bottle of Soju I accidentally pushed over and the content spills over the floor. Hastily I pick up the bottle trying to save the reaming bit of Soju that is left in the green bottle. I hold it in front of the light to see how much is still left. It’s just a little so I put the bottle to my lips and drink the clear liquid in one sip.

My hand sinks to the floor, loosing the grip on the bottle. I watch it as it rolls over the floor and gets to a halt at the edge of the carpet.

With some effort I pick myself up from the floor and stagger into the kitchen to get another bottle of something.

With replenishment I return to the living room and drop down onto the sofa.

“I really need to clear things up. If I don’t he won’t ever forgive me.” I babble.

But Junsu won’t let me, will he. No. He won’t. But Yoochun doesn’t need to know too, right?  I need Yunho to forgive me for this. I need… he forgive.

I get up and look for my phone that I have thrown somewhere in frustration as I kept fighting myself if I should inform Su about my plans to tell Yunho about my betrayal.

I look under the pillows on the couch and scan the floor. I spot a pile of clothes on some chair in the room and I pick them up piece by piece to uncover the phone as I lift up the last piece of clothes that was hiding my phone. I take it and look through it for Su’s number.

Toot. Toot. Toot. Too…

“Hey hyung. What is it?” he picks up.

“Shunsu. I am sorry. But I have to tell him…” I fight the sensation to through up. I have to put down the bottle I have been holding in my hand up till now to concentrate on what I am about to say. I have to close my eyes because the lids are too heavy.

“What do you need to tell who?” he asks me.

“Yunho. Yunho, I have to tell him. He needs to know.”

“Yunho? Wha…?”

“I can’t keep our agreement. I have to tell him.”

“But…”

“Yoochun doesn’t have to know. I won’t tell him.”

“What does Yoochun not need to know?”

His voice sounds so strange. Does he have a sore throat?

“You know. The one night in the US. When this woman… this woman…what was her name?”

“Amelie…” he says without any emotion.

“Yes, that’s right. Amelie it was. That night when Yoochun came into my bed. We were so drunk…” I say with a drunken chuckle.

“You told me not to tell him.”

“About what?” Su asks.

“Didn’t you say the next morning not to let anybody ever know? Especially Yunho and Chunnie?”

“Say it.”

“Chun, he thought I was you. And then we slept with each other. You remember?” I say with a drunken chuckle.

Suddenly I hear a noise coming from the phone as if something crashed into  Su’s phone.

“Hello? Su? You there?”

The next thing I hear is heavy and quick footsteps.

“Yoochun?!What…? Wait!” someone is calling.

Then there is the loud sound of a door being slammed shut.

Completely exhausted my hand slides down lying next to my body, the phone still in my hand, and I fall asleep.

Dear lovely readers & subscribers !! ^-^

Thank you so much for your patience all the time. :3 I'm quite busy lately, sorry. >-<

I hope you enjoy this chapter =)

♥