http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTQ_Xr4nQlM&feature=related

Jaejoong

I get up as I begin to shiver from the cold. The sun has already set, taking the sparkles with it.

Lost in thought I return home. I put off my jacket, throw the car keys on the table and head to the fridge. I take out a bottle of beer, open it and go into the living room. I take a seat on the sofa, put down the bottle and stare ahead.

It still does not blossom. Is it really hopeless to wait for you? Maybe, I should... leave it behind and move on.

Yet again, I am sitting in front of the numerous cactuses staring and waiting for a miracle. The bottle of beer is standing on the table next to me. I look at it and take it into my hand. The cold glass touches my lips, but then I stop.

I get up, the bottle still in my hand, heading to the kitchen; I turn the bottle upside down and watch the beer flowing into the kitchen sink. The last few drops seem to fall in slow motion.

Now I feel like I left all the miserable things behind me. Determined to erase all the bad things I search the apartment for all the bottles with alcohol I had bought to drink away my sorrow with, and pour the content into the sink. It is like a gesture, to make myself understand that the dark days are over and I will start living in the light.

Satisfied I throw the bottles in the trash.

I will treasure my life more from now on, so I can become a better person until we meet again, Yunho.

Hearing for myself that my friends were able to continue woke me up, making me understand that I can't keep on living in misery and self pity. I need to struggle, work hard and give it my best. Up until now I haven't done so, but now I finally found the motivation to stand up and be thankful for the positive things. No matter how tiny they might be, I will treasure them from now on.

Full with energy I sit down at the desk and start writing my essay for our upcoming album. We have already finished the photo shooting for it, now the only thing left to finish is writing our own, short, personal essays.

As I sit there and write, correct and rewrite Jiji jumps on my lap, rolling himself into a ball. I the silky fur with my hand.

If it wasn't for Jiji, maybe things would have been different; worse. Even though your kind is thickheaded as hell, you still know how to comfort people like me.

Thinking about this I get inspiration to write another essay. The words just come out without any problems.

After writing down the last word I hear someone typing in the code and opening the door.

I pick up Jiji and head to the entrance.

"Who is it?" I ask on the way.

"It's just me."

Jiji then jumps off my arm and disappears in my bedroom.

"Hyunjoong. What brings you here?" I ask excited giving him a hug.

"I just thought I should pay you a visit once in a while. How are you doing?"

"I am alright. Just the usual stuff as always. How about you?"

We head into the living room and sit down on the couch.

"The same, the same."

"I watched your latest drama. It was really funny. How was the shooting?" I ask him.

"It was great. I had a lot of fun with the whole staff. Yoochun acting in SKK Scandal was really cool too. Seeing him like this was really good. He did great."

"Yes he did a great job. Especially because he had to jet set all the time. He really had a hard time then, but he did really well. I am proud of him." I smile at my old friend.

"Could you resolve the thing about going on broadcast yet?"

"Uhm... not really. In fact there were several invitations but they got cancelled. For now we were asked to go on the guerilla date and several different news programs, but we will see if that'll work out."

"You not very confident?"

I shrug my shoulders and add "Dunno. I just don't expect too much, that's all."

He nods wordlessly.

"Have you heard anything from the other two?" he then asks cautiously. Even though I still feel a piercing ache in my chest as he mentions Changmin and Yunho, I am able to hide it.

"...no. I tried to write text messages and give them calls but..." I don't finish the sentence.

"Maybe if you have something to say to them, I could deliver it for you." he suggests.

I have to smile at his innocent attempt to help us.

"I think they know everything they need to know. But thanks anyway, Hyunjoong."

After talking about the uncomfortable stuff, we start to talk about all the things that happened since our last meeting. It really is nice to talk to him again.

I tell him about our showcases; the good and bad things; the English album and so on.

Late at night he leaves and we say to meet again very soon.

Lightheaded I get ready to go to bed. I fall asleep quite fast, and fall into a dreamless sleep.

The loud ringing alarm makes me jump. Sleepily I search for the alarm and try to turn it off. After several tries I finally manage to shut the stupid alarm clock off and I fall back into bed with wide opened eyes.

I give myself some moments to wake up completely, then I crawl out of bed and take a shower. After getting dressed and doing my hair I eat some fruits for breakfast.

I switch on the computer and sit down with a cup of steaming tea. I check the news, my inbox and then my twitter. As expected there are numerous messages sent from our fans, so I start to read them. After half an eternity of reading I take a break and check the dash board. Since I don't follow many people there aren't many posts to read, but then, I notice Su's tweets. I read them through and with every word I read I feel my spirits drop.

What are you doing, Su?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaN740SHSRg&feature=related

Junsu

Yoochun storms after me into the kitchen.

"Junsu. Answer me. Why did you write this?"

I stubbornly keep silent. I don't feel that I have to tell you the reason for writing this, since it is obvious. I am just wondering if he isn't sad that they used TVXQ as their name, that Hyung thanked that person and...

Then Yoochun's phone rings. He picks up, giving me a sour look.

"Yes?"

He nods and his face lightens up bit by bit.

"Really? Are you serious? That's amazing... Of course. No question. ... Thank you."

"What is it?" I ask excited but his look becomes cold the very moment he hangs up.

"Don't try to distract me from our argument." he snaps at me.

"Why don't you just leave me alone? You aren't that stupid as not to know the reason why I think that way." I growl, losing my patience.

"Yes, I know the reason. But that's not the point here! Didn't you think of the consequences your actions bring with them at all!? Use your brain once in a while, man!" he yells at me now.

I turn away from him but he swirls me around so I have to face him.

"Please leave now. I need to work." I say coldly and break free from his grip.

"You really won't talk? Fine. But don't expect me to back you up then." he snaps at me and leaves the room. I can hear him stomping through the apartment, collecting his things and then the door shutting.

I let my head drop and I sink onto the chair next to me.

I do have the right to say out loud that I feel disappointed, don't I? I wasn't the one who slapped someone in the face. It wasn't me.

As the three of us gather to work Yoochun doesn't try to make me talk anymore. Jae tries to talk to me about it. But Jae hyung also gives up persuading me after a short time. I stubbornly keep silent about that matter, as if it would stop existing, just by not talking about it.

We keep ignoring that fact after a while, especially after some really good news Yoochun received the other day.

“Jae hyung.” He won’t address me directly anymore. “I got a call from our manager yesterday. I was nominated for the KBS drama awards and they said to perform the OST. I guess it is quite certain that we can actually perform, since I am a nominee.”

I sit next to Jae hyung and listen up.

Did he really say that we can perform? He did, right? He did say so…

“Omo. Are you serious? If that really works out… it will be our first TV appearance as JYJ.” Hyung says with a wide smile too excited to form a straight sentence. My heart flutters in excitement over the good news. An opportunity like this; it seems like a miracle.

Finally we are given an opportunity to appear on Korean television, thanks to Yoochun. He, Jae hyung and me got invited to attend the KBS drama awards, because he got nominated in various categories, plus a performance with the soundtrack we sang for the drama Yoochun starred in. It’s so unreal still. I can’t believe it. Who would have guessed that him acting in that drama would help us returning on the small screen.

My thoughts appear with such a speed that even thinking these things makes me feel dizzy.

We keep discussing about the performance excitedly. The knowledge that we are given such a gift gives all of us a great push, lifting our spirits; it kind of lets us forget about the argument we had. Now we just have to hope and pray that we really can do this.

But just a few days after I would learn that Yoochun and hyung were right about the whole twitter thing.

It now brings many bad things with it. Friends who think to know the whole story involve themselves but in fact they don't really know about our situation and the whole truth.

I finally realize that by writing those things, I caused the three of us a lot of problems, but now it's too late for me to take it back. What is said is said. I feel guilty, but I don’t know how I should react to that kind of development. I didn’t expect in any way that it would grow out to this extent.

What have I done there? I should have kept it to myself. No. I didn’t start this. I merely responded to their actions.

I sit at home, reflecting on the things that happened the past few days, as my phone rings. I pick up and hear Kim Hyunjoong’s voice.

"Hi Junsu. How are you?"

"Ok. Thanks. And you?"

"I am fine." he says but doesn't say the reason for calling so I ask him for it.

"It's just. I am in your neighborhood and since I would like to discuss some things about the football match next time I thought we could meet for a drink."

"Ah, I see. Where are you?"

"I am at the other bar we were at the last time we met. I don't remember the name, sorry."

"Ok. I know where that is. I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Great. See you then." He hangs up with that.

I look for my wallet, facemask and woolen hat then I grab my jacket and keys, welcoming any distraction with open arms.

Disguised I leave my apartment and head to the place where Hyunjoong is at. Inside I look for him, but there is no need. He walks up to me and leads me to a small room.

As I enter and take a look at the room I freeze at the spot.

"Hello Junsu. Long time no see." Changmin says glaring at me.

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sorry for the late update ^^ I hope you enjoy it