http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUd5VksbhkU

Yoochun

Last night I was really unsettled and had a hard time to fall asleep. I had so many things to think about, even though I had already cooled down from the walk I took.

"Wake up! It's time you get ready. We need to rehearse for the concerts." I hear Su yell what shocks me so much that I fall out of bed landing on my back. I can’t breathe for a moment.

"Ouch! Why do you have to scream like a maniac?"

Are you crazy screaming like that so early in the morning? Aw, my poor back.

He says something I don’t register, not wanting him to keep nagging I get up and head to the bathroom to wash up.

Before leaving Su nags me about having breakfast, but I don’t care. I really don’t feel like eating. My mind still is focused on the matter with Amelie.

Just while rehearsing I am able to concentrate on the main thing; the upcoming concert. We keep doing the dances and songs over and over again, do sound checks and have talks with the director about the whole show case, special effects and so on. I feel that the concert will be great and I hope we can show the fans how thankful we are and that we really appreciate their support.

"Hyung. You going home now?" I ask Jaejoong after we finished and pack our stuff.

"Um, yeah. But I still have to buy... things. So I can't take you." he says.

"I see. Su takes me home, don't worry."

"Uhm." he nods and leaves the venue.

After making fun of him once more - oh god, it is just the best to see him pulling those annoyed faces - we leave. He keeps silent the whole drive and even kicks me out in some kind of way, ‘cause he just closes the door after me getting out to drive off.

Do you have to be so sensitive? I wasn't serious after all.

I walk upstairs, enter my apartment and fall down onto the sofa out of exhaustion. For a second I close my eyes but then my phone buzzes with a text message.

                I want your answer.

It is Amelie. I feel anger creeping up on me.

I guess I have to make it clear once and for all, since it obviously wasn't clear enough the last time.

I dial her number; waiting for her to pick up.

"'allo Yoochun. You finally call." she answers the phone with a disgustingly sweet tone.

"Obviously I do."

"So what is your decision?"

“Before I tell you, I want to know something.” I say coldly.

“What eez it?” she asks obviously satisfied with my reaction.

I guess she is quite certain that she got me where she wants me. Foolish girl.

“Did you like Junsu?”

“I never said I didn’t.” she says arrogantly.

“Then why do you go to that extent to get me?” I really want to know why she is doing these crazy things.

“I just try to reach my goal.”

“Goal?”

What the heck is this crazy woman talking about?

“Uhm… let’s put it like zis. I am not ordinary. And I zink I deserve to be loved by special people.”

“Then let me put it my way will you?”

She keeps silent waiting for me to continue what I was saying.

“To say it bluntly, you are a celebrity .”

She huffs into the phone obviously holding back her anger.

“Put it as you want.” she mumbles cocky.

"But I'm afraid I have to tell you that you will fail to reach your so called ‘goal’. I told you before at the after show party. But I guess your birdbrain wasn't able to actually get it. No!"

"Don’t be so sure of zat, Yoochun. If you don’t do as I say I will tell ze press zat zere is somezing going on between you and Junsu." she hisses.

"Huh. What evidence do you have? No one will believe you." I mock her.

"All ze people at ze party can confirm that there is somezing between the two of you.” She says chuckling what sends a shiver down my spine.

“No one will help you. Do whatever you want. I won’t let you have your way.” I growl at her.

“Zen be prepared to read some unpleasant ‘eadlines very soon.” With that last sentence she hangs up.

Finally I took care of this crazy . But what about Junsu? I have to tell him eventually. I guess it’s the best if I tell him, that her parents don’t approve and that she wanted me to tell him she wants to break up. It’s better than telling him that he was being used like this. I can’t hurt him like this.

Relieved I go into the kitchen and prepare something to eat for dinner. I check the fridge but it is nearly empty. I take out the milk for a bowl of cereals. Then I take a spoon out of the drawer and start eating. Sitting at the table all alone suddenly feels very lonely. Sometimes I wish there was someone who I can spend time with.

I can’t take the silence anymore, take the bowl and go into the living room to switch on the TV. The sound lets me forget that I actually am alone.

After finishing the bowl of cereals I go back into the kitchen and do the dishes. While doing that I hear someone at the door, but the person doesn’t seem to know the right combination.

If its’ some crazy people who try to get into my apartment again, I’ll go crazy for good. Even at home there is no privacy anymore.

I decide to ignore it and continue with what I was doing. But then I hear the sound of the door unlocking and a person storming inside.

What the heck is going on?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH6Ucu_Jdv0&feature=related

Junsu

Argh, I can't type in the correct combination. Why do my hands tremble so much?

Toot.

. Got it wrong again. Ok, calm down.

I take a deep breath and slowly type in the code once more.

Yes, finally got it right.

I open the door and hurry inside, hastily off the shoes. I hear sounds coming from the kitchen and storm in.

Yoochun is standing at the sink doing the dishes and looks at me in surprise.

I feel a tear falling down my cheek, not able to hold it in anymore.

"Junsu. What is wrong?"

I start to sob. Yoochun steps closer to me and tries to embrace me but I avoid him. Chun is standing there not knowing what to do, helplessly watching me cry.

After some moments I find the strength to say something.

"I. You. ..."

"What do you mean?" he says desperately trying to get what I am stammering.

"Do. You. Really. Like. Her?" I finally manage to say in between my sobs.

"Who?" he says, obviously not following me.

"Amelie."

His eyes widen not saying a word.

"So it's true." I state letting my head drop.

"No! Where did you get that idea form?" he denies fiercely.

"She told me. That you and her..."

"No. No. She lied, Su."

"Oh my god. What am I going to do? He will be so disappointed in me."

"What...?"

I keep on talking confused, not really getting to the main point. Yoochun tries to make me explain but I am just not able to properly talk about all those things.

He leads me into the living room to sit down on the sofa, him next to me letting me lean on his shoulder to cry.

I don't know how much time passed until I can finally get a grip on myself again. Maybe the reason is that I have no tears left I can shed.

"I am sorry." I mumble.

"It's alright." he says softly wiping away my tears with his thumb.

"So you and Amelie..."

"There is nothing between us." he interrupts me.

I nod and relax a bit.

"I know you like her a lot, I understand if you are angry at me but..."

"It's not that I am angry at you."

"What?" he whispers confused.

"I was... I am so jealous."

"Su, that is normal..."

"You don't understand me. I am not jealous about her liking you. I don't want you... to like someone else."

I said what I really feel. Finally.

He looks at me in disbelieve mixed with surprise.

"I know that I am the last person on this planet that has the right to be jealous. I selfishly hurt you. I am the worst." I say sniffing.

Chun still keeps silently staring at me. It makes me feel even worse than I already do.

I get up attempting to avoid looking Chun into the eyes, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back down into his arms. He holds me in a tight embrace not letting go of me. My heart starts beating fast that I am sure he can feel it thumping against his chest.

His scent makes me shiver a bit. It has been such a long time since I allowed myself to engross myself into him, that I lose sense.

He buries his hand into my hair, still not letting go of me.

"Am I awake?" he whispers into my ear.

"Huh?"

"I dreamed of you telling me this since the day we broke up."

I hug him back and now and relax, letting me fall into his arms.

"You are too good to me. I don't deserve you forgiving me this easily."

"Shush. That doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that I have you by my side again."

Just like this we keep sitting there for a while.

Even after breaking the embrace we keep sitting on the couch, me snuggling into his wide chest.

"I am so sorry, Chun. It's all my fault."

"No, Su. It's not you who made the mistake. It's her." he tries to assure me.

"It is. I kicked it off the moment I left you. I shouldn't have done that in the first place."

"Let's... not talk about that anymore today, ok?" he says a bit unsteady.

"I am sorry."

We stay silent again for a bit.

"But, is it really that much of a problem for you that I am a guy?" Chun suddenly asks.

"No. It's just... it may sound like a stupid excuse, but..."

"But?" he urges me to answer. I decide to tell him. I owe him that after all.

"My father had a talk with me. He said to find a girlfriend soon so I could start planning the wedding and having a child. He really wants to have a grandchild. I felt really pressured. I couldn't withstand it, trying to please him... but I can't. I need you. I am selfish..."

"I understand you. It's ok. I just wanted to know. Don't pressure yourself too much."

He smiles at me and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I don't care about it. Having you by my side is all that matters." he says.

I can't believe that it actually turned out like this.

Happiness lifts the heavy weight from my chest that had pulled me down all the time we were separated.

Now everything seems to brighten up like weak sunrays fighting their way through a thick cover of clouds.