“Do you know what you are gonna order sir?” a very attractive waitress come to our table. I gave a quick look to the menu and ended up choosing a cappuccino. Then I looked to Junsu to see if he had already chosen. He was staring at the waitress and just blankly answered:

“I’ll have the same.”

The fact that he was looking at her in such an obvious way, even following her with his eyes as she walked to the counter, was really REALLY annoying me.

“I know she is pretty but you shouldn’t look at her like that.” I mumbled before I could stop myself. Junsu finally looked at me with a very surprised expression.

“Oh no, no. I’m not looking at her… It’s not like that…” as he was trying to explain the girl came back with our orders.

“Here you go sir. And this piece of pie is on the house.”  She said with a huge smile as she placed the food in front of me. Suddenly Junsu snapped:

“Look miss he is not interest in you ok?? So save yourself a piece of free pie cause you will not get his number written on a napkin or in any other place, understand?” he was quite aggressive but the girl didn’t seemed very affected. She left the rest of the order on the table and walked back to the counter repeating apologies.

I kept staring at Junsu with my mouth open.

“I wasn’t looking at HER. I just didn’t like the way she was looking at YOU.” He finally explained and then he looked so shy he was trying to hide his face with the cup.

“Ohhh… I see.” I answered not knowing what else to say. I too took little sips of my drink, trying to avoid looking at the boy in front of me.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be so awkward. It’s just that… I get a bit too possessive some times. Maybe cause I’m used to be used more like an accessory than a person, and I’m used to don’t be given much attention or give much attention to my company. I’m just a pretty boy that people pay to show around”. He said almost in a inaudible tone.

He was pouring his heart out and the only thing I could say was:

“Hamm…” and stare at him with my mouth open, Good one Yoochun.

Thank god a waitress, different from the one that had served us before, came at that time saving me from an embarrassing moment of mental shutdown.

“Excuse me, hello. I’m really sorry for the behavior of my colleague. She’s new here and she doesn’t know how to keep a professional distance yet. I’ll surely talk with her. I came to apologize and give you two this. It’s on the house, enjoy. And we would like to see you again.” She said with a big eye-smile and then left the table with consecutive bows after putting between me and Junsu a big bowl of patbingsu¹ with two spoons on it.

We looked at each other. Obviously the girls thought that we were a couple. I just wasn’t sure if Junsu would like me to call them and tell them they were wrong or ….

We shrugged his shoulders, took a spoon and started eating the delicious desert. Knowing him and how much he liked sweets it was no surprise when he finished almost half the bowl before I even started it. I had to smile.

“What? It’s freaking delicious. Here!” he grabbed the other spoon, filled it and made me eat it. I was a bit surprised but I was even more surprised when I heard the two waitresses giving little screams of excitement and giggling while looking at us.

“Well she was interested in you but it looks like she likes the idea of us being a couple just as much.” Junsu said after noticing the girls too. Then a naughty expression appeared in his face:

“Jagya², you feed me know.” He said with his cutest expression. I was almost shocked and my hand automatically went to the bowl and then to feed him without me even noticing. “Woah maa³.” He said while putting his hand over mine and giving me an ear to ear smile. I felt like I could melt right there. How could he be so…?

“Let’s go? I’ll go pay, my treat.” He kept talking but my brain was somehow frozen. I just nodded affirmatively.

“Please come back. You and your boyfriend.” I heard one of the waitresses say, her voice getting high pitched when she said “boyfriend”. “And we are really sorry for that mistake earlier. If my colleague new you were couple she wouldn’t definitely behave like that.”

“Oh it’s ok. To be honest I’m a bit too jealous sometimes, I want him all to myself.” Junsu answered. I was so shocked with his answer that I turned to look at them but he was already by my side, grabbed my hand and walked me out of the shop.

We walked a few minutes without saying anything. My head was all messed up; a billion thoughts were running through it. And I was surely mixing fantasy with reality. My chest was heavy; I felt angst even thought I didn’t really know why.

Then I realized we were still holding hands. I stopped and forced him to let go of my hand. I didn’t even realize how violent my act was.

“Woe⁴?” Junsu asked looking at me with puppy eyes.

I was angry. Really angry. But why??

“You can’t do stuff like that.” I said with a much louder voice than I intended. His eyes showed understanding. He lowered his face hiding his expression from me, but his tone of voice showed a sudden sadness:

“Mianhamnida⁵.”

That hit me like a speeding car. Why was he being so formal? So distant?

Suddenly I just wanted to comfort him. But why? Why was he sad? Because I was mad. And why was I mad? Because he acted that way? But I… I enjoyed every smile of his… every touch…

“I’m going home first then. It was fun at Jaejoong’s house. Have a good night.” He started slowly walking and only then I realized we were almost at his house. The way he was walking, with his head so low and his arms motionless… “Aish Park Yoochun! What have you done now??”

I rushed to him and started walking by his side. A few minutes later we were in front of his building. He vowed deeply has a goodbye.

“Can I come in?” I asked, not sure of what was going on. He finally looked up to me, a bit surprised.

“Oh, yes hyung⁶, if you want too.” He vowed again. He kept acting distant.

I entered his house after him. We were welcomed by his cats begging for food.

We went to feed them, giving me no attention. I was wondering if it wasn’t better for me to just leave.

“No. I’m staying. It’s because of the stuff that’s left unsaid that we are always fighting.” I thought I had only thought that but apparently I said it out loud cause Junsu stopped feeding his cats and looked at me a bit confused. I could feel my cheeks blush.

His expression quickly changed to sad again as he said:

“Hyung everything is okay. You don’t have to worry. I’m sorry for what happened earlier at the coffee shop, it won’t happen again. I’m a bit tired, I think I’m going to rest now.” He vowed again and started walking into his bedroom.

Surprisingly his words only made me get really angry again. I found myself standing at an empty kitchen with 6 cats looking at me. I had decided I wouldn’t leave until we talked it all out. So I walked into his room and busted the door open.

I walked on him while he was changing, shirtless and looking at me with a worried expression.

“Yah, it won’t happen again? Why did you do that in the first place?” I started shouting.

“Hyung calm down. I already apologized…” he was avoiding the question.

“Aishhh will you answer me?? Do you do that much? Going around grabbing guy’s hands? Or girls for that matter?”

“YES I DO. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR? WOULD YOU FEEL BETTER IF I SAID THAT?” he suddenly started screaming again. We looked silently at each other for a while. He sat in the bed, looking at his hands. “Mianhamnida hyung. I misunderstood our relationship. I thought it wouldn’t be awkward to play like that. I’m sorry, I should have thought before…”

“Think of what?” I asked.

“Well, you told me how you suffered when you told everyone you were gay, and how you had stopped dating guys… I should have thought that my actions could hurt you because of that. I’m sorry.” He looked at me. It was my time to lower my head. Just then I realized that the reason I was angry had nothing to do with that. “But hyung, I don’t usually go around holding hands or whatever with anyone, don’t say that." He added with a hurt tone. “Hyung? Answer me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Don’t be angry. I won’t do it again”. He came to me and was pulling my shirt to get my attention. I pulled my arm away from him.

“I won’t come here again.” I announced, starting to walk to the door.

“What? Yoochun wait. I’m really sorry. What can I do? I told you it won’t be repeated.”

“AND HOW IS THAT BETTER? WHY DID YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? DO I LOOK LIKE A TOY YOU CAN PLAY WITH?”

Now he was really surprise and looking at me with total confusion in his eyes.

“What are you saying? You know that’s not what I meant…”

“REALLY? I GUESS YOU DIDN’T MEAN ALL THAT YOU SAID TO THE WAITRESS EITHER. IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO THINK THAT I COULD ACTUALLY GET HURT? DO YOU KNOW FOR HOW LONG I’VE BEEN ALONE? WAS IT FUN TO TELL HER HOW JEALOUS YOU ARE OF ME? I BET IT WAS, AFTER ALL YOU DIDN’T MEAN IT…”

“I did.” He interrupted me and suddenly my heart started to race.

“What?”

“I did mean it, okay? I meant every word I said. I do feel jealous when I see you with other people and I do want to have you all to myself. Are you happy now? Do you realize now why I was playing like that? Why I was enjoying it so much? But how could I say anything? You couldn’t ever like me and I didn’t want to put that burden on you, I didn’t want to stop seeing you either. But now you know it. So tell me, are you happy? Why are you so angry after all? The one who is gonna get his hurt broken here it’s me.”

He was looking at me with teary eyes and I was looking back to him speechless. After a few silent minutes he started walking back to his room again and said with a surrendered voice: “Just lock the door when you get out”.

I stood there looking at his room’s closed door. My head almost exploding with thoughts and my heart beating so furiously, threatening to get out of my chest.

And then I realized my true feelings and made a decision.

I walked into his room. He got up from his bed in surprise.

“Please just leave.” He said with the saddest voice. I couldn’t even calm myself enough to say anything. He then started to shout while begging: “PLEASE, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING, IT’S ONLY GONNA HURT ME MORE. JUST LEA…”

I grabbed his waist, pulled him against the wall and shut him up with a kiss.

He was surprise and tense at first but then his lips started moving according to mine, a perfect match for mine.

My body pressed against his.

His hands eagerly pulling me closer to him while mine travelled through his chest and pulled him to me by his waist.

He was trapped between me and the wall and didn’t want to leave.

Everything felt so right all my body was trembling from excitement. I couldn´t even believe what was happening, I couldn’t even believe how much I wanted that.

And without me even noticing tears started rolling down my face. Junsu noticed and gently, so softly it didn’t seem true, he broke the kiss, leaned his forehead against mine and cleaned my tears with one hand while the other rested on my neck.

I just kept looking into his eyes and holding him tight by his waist without even believing that that person, that amazing person was there with me, feeling the same I did. Tears continued rolling down my face.

“Woe⁴?” he asked with the softest voice.

“I was angry because you said you wouldn’t repeat that kind of things. I was angry because I wanted you to, I wanted so much for those things you said to the waitress to be true.”

He smiled gently: “But they are. I really can’t stand the thought of not having you in my life anymore. It really hurt all those fights we had because I fell in love with you a long time ago, the first time I saw you, a silly drunk Yoochun that said to me: "You are so pretty that if the person that gets you doesn’t treat you right I’m gonna chase her for the rest of her life” and then fell asleep on my arms” he giggled.

“I said that?” he smiled and nodded affirmatively. “Looks like even drunk I have a good judgment.” We both smiled. Looking into his eyes I felt so safe and warm… “I thought I would never have anything like this again”. I admitted and my sobs became more violent.

He hugged me tightly, led me into the bed and made me lay down next to him. He covered me with so much care and then hugged me again. I got has close to him as I could and put my head on his chest. He kept my hair making me feel more relaxed and on the verge of falling asleep.

“Now you have me and I have you. None of us has to feel that alone anymore. I will always take care of you.” Were the last words I heard along with a kiss in the forehead before I fell asleep.

My cute Junsu was the one taking care of me now. I felt like I had just found a part of me that I had been looking for for so long.

¹- 팥빙수 = Patbingsu. It’s a fresh desert with ice chips, ice cream and toppings. To know more about this delicious desert see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqMofC3g4DQ.

²- 자갸 = Jagya means “honey”, “sweetheart”, “darlin”. It’s a romantic cute way of calling your partner.

³-맛있다 =maa means “delicious”, “yummy” =)

⁴- 왜= Woe means “why?” but it can be used as a form of asking “what?”, “what’s wrong?” “what’s happening?”

⁵- 미안합니다 = Mianhamnida means “I’m sorry” and it’s used in a formal way to someone older, someone you don’t know or to s superior at work, school…

⁶-형= hyung it’s a way of a younger guy calling a older one.

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Hi guys

Oh my god i'm so sorry for the long wait. my life is upside down right now and i havent ha dthe time or the concentracion needed to right.

But coming back to write after sucj a long time i remember how relaxing it feels and how much i enjoy it, it's a great therapy actually so i'll try my best to bring you good chapters as soon as possible.

I loved writing this chapter. Finally our babies are together =).  And at the end of the chapter Junsu was the manly one taking care of Yoochun. I love that about those two: both of them can be serious and take care of the other when needed but both of them have a cute and sensible side to them. Don´t you just love them?

Hoppe everyone is doing well and that i haven´t lost that many readers =(.

Thank you all for getting the time to follow my litle story =)

DriBSK