Forgive and Forget

I waited till all my balloons faded into my sight. I don't know, but somehow I felt relieved. I left the park with a wishful heart.

I was surprised to see TOP oppa when I got home. They were all busy at the kitchen preparing for an early dinner, I think. Mom greeted me and asked if I could lend some hands on what they've been doing.

"Oh, hi dear! I'm glad you have returned. Your dad and I both agreed on throwing up a small celebration for your unnie's trip back at Seoul tomorrow. It will be a private dinner just for the family,"

I shifted my glance from mom to TOP oppa who's been busy helping out unnie on baking cupcakes. Unnie's really pretty, with those colorful cups and baking stuffs around her and that cute gold crown on her head.

Mom followed my eyes' direction and then continued to speak. "Ahm, TOP here were invited by your unnie of course. I don't see any problem with that especially now that Bom and TOP confessed that they are now officially committed with each other. I just hope that this will be an occassion that will be memorable from all of us. Can I count on you Chemi?"

"I'll try.. I mean, of course mom. Uh, what will I do then to help you out here?" I answered, trying to cheer her up.

"Thank you dear. You can start by arranging all the dinnerware at the table." she said, now smiling.

The preparation lasted for about three hours before we could finally eat. I seated beside mom. Across us were unnie and TOP oppa while dad seated at the mid chair where he normally sits.

After we prayed which had been lead by dad, Bom unnie cleared and started to say her 'speech' for the night.

"Thank you so much mom, dad and of course saeng for all the efforts for this special dinner. Thank you also TOP for always being there for me. I'm gonna miss you mom, dad and Chemi.. Don't worry about me, I'll surely take care of myself there in Seoul and in few months time, we'll be seeing each other again on my graduation. I love you so much guys.." she said with teary eyes.

Mom and dad stood up and embraced her but I remained on my seat, "Shall we eat? The food are starting to get cold." I said, trying to avoid that 'scenario'.

They got back on their seats and we all started to eat. For a moment, I forgot all things that's bothering me. I really enjoyed all the food mom prepared and cooked. I finished my food as fast as I can but I made sure that they won't think that I deliberately did it.

"I'm done and so full. Thanks mom! Can I stay now at the garden?" I politely asked for her permission.

"Yes dear, you may. Anyway, we will all be staying there for some dessert and tea." she replied.

I bowed down to all of them before I left the dining area and headed outside. Soft breeze of wind gently grazed my skin. I gasp it and smiled. It will be summer soon and I will surely miss the spring and the guy it brought to me. I took a deep breth upon remembering him.. again.

Few minutes later, I was being joined by dad, mom, unnie and TOP oppa. They brought the cupcakes unnie baked and cups of lavander tea. I must admit, unnie's cakes were a total knockout. It was so delicious, not too sweet and the chiffon was so fluffy and soft. As expected, that dessert time will be the beginning of a chatty mode for them. I had no choice but to listen and pay attention or else, the night will be ruined by me. But of course, I didn't talk much. The things I just did was to nod, smile, munch some cupcakes, drink my tea then back to nodding, smiling and so on and so forth. It was 8 o'clock when mom and dad decided to come inside to take a rest. I was about to follow them when TOP oppa called me.

"Dongsaeng, can I talk to you?"

I turned my head and looked at him. I could see in his eyes that he really needed and wanted to make things clear with me and so despite of hesitation inside of me, I said, "Yes oppa.." and went back on my seat.

"Thanks Chemi. This means so much to me and of course to your unnie as well. I would like to personally apologize to you with regards on my behavior towards Minho last night. I should have been more considerate to him knowing that it's not easy to accept things the way he was expecting it. And besides, I am much mature than him and so I should've acted like one. I'm sorry.."

"Don't you think Minho should be the one hearing all those things you had said?" I raised my brows a bit.

"Of course saeng. I know I owe him an apology too. Believe me, I really wanna do it but Bom told me a while ago that Minho left this morning and that you didn't get the chance to talk to him and explain everything. Again, I'm sorry." he bowed his head.

"It's okay oppa. I may not fully understand it but I don't want to have any misunderstandings to you either. Let's just try to forget all of it. Um, can I go now?"

He smiled and ruffled my hair. I know somehow he was relieved by talking to me.

"Yes Chemi. Have a good night." he said.

I left the two of them at the garden and headed to my room upstairs. I lay down on my bed, thinking on how to start my day tomorrow now that Minho wasn't here anymore. And Bom unnie will be leaving tomorrow with a heavy heart because I didn't accpet her apology.

*Am I being selfish?* I asked myself.

I didn't know how to answer my own question. All I know was that, I'm still in total pain and confusion but at the back of my mind, something reminds me how I am being loved by my unnie. She loves me so much that she did everything for me. And now, the only thing she ever did was to be true to herself and to her feelings and here I am, having a hard time to understand and accept things.

*I should've understand her the way she understands me. I'm so sorry unnie.. Tomorrow, I'll make sure right things will fall into place. I'll start out by making peace with my beloved unnie.*

I smiled with that thought. I instantly remembered what mom had said to me about the balloons. *As time passes by, you will be amazed with the result.*

I suddenly had goosebumps at the back of my neck.

"Oh! It's true!" I exclaimed happily. But my excitement had been quickly replaced with sadness when it came into my mind the last thing I whispered before letting go of my balloons.

*My love for Minho.* I thought.

Before I went to sleep, I kneeled down on my bed to pray. I needed it so badly. I asked God to give me strength and lead me the way to life He wanted for me. After praying, I lay down and fell asleep.

okay. i am now allowing you to virtually punch me in the face for making you wait this long for an update. *leans towards you* go on now. :)

now, that hurt.

anyways, uh, i was just wondering.. do you guys have tumblr?

if you have, please just be awesome and follow me here. KAMSA A LOT!

and oh, i did an edit fail again. there, above. :D