Setting You Free

I opened my eyes and saw the ray of sunlight coming through the window of my room. I quickly sat down at the edge of my bed as I remember I have to talk to Minho early this morning. I felt a little dizzy for not having enough sleep. I walked through the bathroom and took a bath with a cold shower. That helped me feel much better.

I went downstairs to go to the kitchen. I made myself a glass of hot milk and butter toast bread. As I finished my breakfast, I rushed outside to go Mrs. Choi's house. I was now standing in front of her main door when I felt a bit hesitant knocking.

*Am I really ready for this? What will I say to him? What if he's still mad at me? But I'm running out of time. He will be leaving tomorrow.*

With a hopeful heart, I convinced myself that everything will be alright if I will do it right now. And so, I slowly banged my knuckes unto the door. No one answered from inside. I started calling out on Minho's name.

"Minho?.. Minho?" It was then, the door slowly opened. It was Aunt GaEul.

"Good morning Aunt GaEul. Is Minho now awake? I have something important to tell him.." I murmured as I tiptoed to look inside to search for any sign of Minho from her shoulder and also, avoiding her eyes.

"I think you are too late for that." she frowned at me.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"He just left this morning, even before the dawn breaks in."

I was shocked. I didn't expect it. All the hopes I'm feeling have all gone. Minho left, hating me.. I was speechless, staring at my shoes when Aunt GaEul continued to speak.

"Before he left, he told me what happened. I felt so sorry for my nephew Chemi. If you'd just seen him - how he cried out on me - I'm sure your heart will melt."

"I'm so sorry Aunt GaEul. It was all my fault. That's why I'm here.. I would really want to ask for his forgiveness. But just like you said, I was too late for that."

"I don't blame you at all dear. Believe it or not. I may have my symphathy for Minho but I understand you completely."

"Aunt GaEul.."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, I know how you feel. Both you and Minho were just victims of circumstance you didn't know how to handle well. The two of you are too young to feel these heartaches, especially you dear, you're just fifteen.. But I am not saying that to fall in love is a mistake. You just have to take things slow and easy. And don't worry about Minho, I know my nephew well. He will be alright. We just have to give him time and space to absorb things that happened between the two of you. Do you understand me dear?"

"Yes Aunt GaEul, I understand. Amm, I wanna thank you for your understanding. Minho is so lucky to have an aunt like you. And I'll keep in mind everything you have said. Gomawo Aunt GaEul." I hugged her before I bid goodbye.

I was beginning to lift my heavy feet to walk across back at our house when my eyes glanced at the sopt where Minho and I used have our music jamming. I instantly remembered how it all started, the day I met him. I smiled holding on to what Aunt GaEul had told me a while ago.

I continued to walk and entered at our home. There was no one around at the living room. I was about to go upstairs when I heard unnie's voice.

"I made your favorite waffles! I was thinking.. Hmm, would you like to join me for breaksfast?" she asked as she streched a smile in her lips.

"Err, I'm through and I'm still full. Thanks."

"Please saeng.. let us talk. We need to.. talk." she begged.

Truth is, I don't want to. At least not yet.. not now. I'm not ready. But I saw in unnie's eyes the eagerness and sencerity of fixing things between us and that made me agree.

"Okay."

We headed at the dining area and between eating the waffles she made, we talked.. heart to heart.

"I knew already what happened last night.. from TOP. Taemin told him everything. Are you alright now? How are you feeling?"

"Not good." I answered lifelessly.

"I'm sorry saeng.. Taemin said your were trying to avoid me from revealing it all to Minho but I hung up on your call. I thought you have no plan of telling it at all to him that's why I came up with the decision of doing it and asked TOP to help me out."

"When you agreed to give Minho a chance to court you, I trully believed and trusted you that, that agreement will be kept between the two of us. But you confessed it all to TOP oppa. I knew. I was there. I felt really guilty because I saw the mutual feelings between you and TOP oppa. Right there and then, I came up with the decision of revealing it all to Minho. I just needed enough time to at least gather all my guts when that moment comes. But you blew it off unnie! You screwed all my plans and now you're asking me am I alright?!" I raised a bit of my voice.

Unnie was startled and her eyes began to be teary. I was a bit surprised on myself too. I didn't know I can raise a voice on her. But my mind and heart were telling me that I have to do it; I have to pour it out. All the pain and hurt that I was keeping inside since last night. With a cracking voice and now, eyes that are full of tears, I continued to speak..

"I know something happened back there inside BlueFire. Minho said he was humiliated in front of you and TOP oppa. It must have something to do on why he acted like that towards me and Taemin. You have no idea how it's like to be hated by someone you love. He hates me so much! And you know what's the worst part? I didn't had the chance to explain myself. And now he's gone." I covered my face with my two hands and began to cry out loud. Unnie who were sitting in front of me stood up and hugged me from my back. She was crying too.

"I'm so sorry saeng.. I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I admit, there was this awkward and pissy moment between TOP and Minho during our conversation last night but I didn't do anything to lighten up the atmosphere back there. I knew we were wrong on the way we delivered it to Minho and before I knew it, Minho was already walking away from us. I know TOP also owes you an apology. I hope the two of you could also talk about it."

"I hope too.. But not now." I shook my head.

"I'll help you in making it up to Minho. We could ask Mrs. Choi of his address in Seoul so you can talk to him. To make things clear." she offered.

"Thank you but I don't think so.. I have talked to Aunt GaEul and I have decided to give Minho some time alone. I just hope and pray that time will come when he can finally forgives us all. That's all I wanted to happen." I said as I wiped my tears streaming down my face.

"You saeng, do you forgive me?" she asked, grabbing my hands.

"I wanted to but truth is, I'm not yet ready to give what you're asking unnie.. Jeongmal mianhae."

"Gwenchana. I understand." Bom unnie then smiled and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thanks for the waffles. I'll go ahead then." I stood up as I tucked the strands of my hair that were covering my face behind my ears.

"Okay."

I walked out of the dining area and went out to the porch. I sat on our swing, looking at Mrs. Choi's house where Minho used to stay. I was thinking about what Aunt GaEul had told me. I didn't notice mom came out of the house and occupied the free space beside me.

"Your mind is flying too far dear.." she began.

I blinked as I heard her voice. I immediately shifted my gaze from the house to her, "Oh mom! I didn't.."

"You didn't notice me. That's because you thoughts were not here. It's chasing someone who left."

I looked back to where I was staring a while ago, avoiding her eyes. She put her left arm to my shoulder and began to tap it lightly, "It's okay ttal. You know, all mothers have this thing called 'Mom's Intitiuon' and just by looking at our kids, we somehow knew what's bothering them. I may not know the exact details but I know what you've been through, I can feel it."

I didn't utter anything. I didn't know what to say anyway. Then she continued to speak.

"You know, when I was about your age, your grandma used to tell me that to be able for someone to find happiness or just simply be happy, that someone must let go of the things that made him or her sad. And then, there's this ritual or ceremony he or she must do to seal it."

She caught my interest there on what she said. I stared at her with an asking eyes. She grinned at me and took a glance at the blue sky, "Your grandma said that you have to buy some balloons. It depends on how many sad things you wanted to let go. Then, in each balloon, you will write down those things. For instance in one of the balloons, you will write 'HATE ON MY FRIEND.' or maybe 'NO SELF-CONFIDENCE'. Anything you liked to erase in your mind, you heart, even in your soul. And as the time passes by, you will be amazed with the result."

"Have you tried it mom?" I finally said something.

"Out of curiousness.. yes. And it worked on me. Why don't you try it on you own?" she asked, trying to convince me.

"I'll think about it." I replied, trying to put a smile on my lips.

"Okay. Uhm, Chemi dear, your unnie will be leaving tomorrow for the resume of classes and we will not be with her again until the end of the school year, on her graduation. I don't want to force the two of you to reconcile at the moment, if you're still not ready for that. But I do still hope for the best on both of my daughters." I looked down and closed my eyes.

"I'll let you be alone now. I'll go upstairs to help out Bom pack her things."

I opened my eyes and nodded at her. When mom finally came inside the house, I stood up and decided to take a walk. My feet brought me at the park not far from the neighborhood. There were lots of children playing there, enjoying the last day of spring break. I sat on one of the wooden benches there, staring blankly at the sky. Then my eyes caught a flying pink balloon. I instantly remembered mom's story about sadness and balloons.

*Well, there's nothing wrong if I try it.* I shrugged at my own thought.

I stood up to look where I can buy some balloons and I easily found it. I bought a whole bunch of it. I don't know how many it was. Then, I went to the part of the park where I can freely fly up my balloons. I didn't have any pen on me so I just whisper out the things I wanna set out free in my life.

"Guilt, hate on unnie and TOP oppa, heavy and lonely heart, broken soul, my love for Minho.."

The last part made me sad. Truth is, I don't want it to be part of my list but it all started there; with the love I feel for him. So I guess I have to let it all go. I don't know how but I'll try to set you free my Minho..

Another long chappie guys! Your comments surely makes me happy..

By the way, I'm really glad to tell you that the poster above is my very own work!

I think I've improved alot..

Thanks to my tutors on InDesign! XD

What do you think about my poster?! :3

The quote is from a song.. LOLOLOL~ XD