Crying Silently

Dongsaeng Saranghae

 

"Are you alright Taemin? I'm so sorry... These are all my fault. I deserve that punch from Minho and not you. I'm sorry..." I told Taemin as I helped him out to stand. With that condition, he still managed to smile at me.
 
"Don't worry Chemi, I'm fine. I know between the two of us, you were the one who's been in so much pain. Are you alright?" He asked me the same question I asked him.
 
I smiled but my tears inevitably flowed again on my cheeks and I just couldn't stop it.
 
"I wanted to say 'Yes, I'm alright.' but I am not.. I don't know what to think anymore.. I just want to go home.."
 
"Okay then, let's go."
 
Taemin drove me back home safely. I'm still worried about him but he assured me that he's fine and that I have nothing to worry about.
 
"Thank you so much Taemin.. I guess I owe you a lot, huh?" I said trying to cheer the both of us up.
 
"Yeah. You sure does Park Chemi. Okay, get inside now and take a long rest. Goodnight my Princess."
 
"Goodnight.. Have a safe trip." I replied then waved him goodbye.
 
Before I open the door to get inside I looked up at the window of the room where Minho stays. It was all dark. No sign of someone being inside at the moment. I can't help it but to wonder where he might be at that late time of the day. After all that hurtful things he said on me back at Bluefire, I admit I'm still worry about him.
 
*Where are you Minho? Wherever you are right now, I hope you are safe.*
 
As I opened our main door, I found unnie and mom having a conversation at the living room. I have this feeling that they were waiting for me. I know I don't have any right to be angry with unnie but at the back of my head, something tells me that she had something to do with what happened. If she just let me be the one to tell 
Minho everything, maybe - just maybe - he might understand and he will not hate me that much.
 
"Chemi, what happened? You look terrible dear.." mom asked.
 
"I know mom I made a promised to you that I will tell everything when I get back but I'm just too tired and exhausted right now." I answered looking at the floor.
 
"We need to talk saeng." unnie said.
 
"Don't you understand? I said I wanted to take a rest now." I answered sarcastically but still looking at the floor.
 
"What?! Don't you ever answer me with that tone Chemi." she said looking so irritated.
 
"Bom... let her go. We'll just discuss this tomorrow. Anyway, it's so late now and I'm sure the two of you are really tired right now." Mom told her calmly.
 
"You may go now Chemi. And Bom I think you should take a rest too. Goodnight dears.." She said before heading to their room of Dad.
 
I immediately ran upstairs to avoid any further confrontations with unnie. When I got into my room, I dove in in my bed and buried my face on my pillows. With that position, I burst into crying. All that hurtful words Minho had told me were pinned on my head.
 
*THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TO BE REAL TO ME IN RETURN BUT I WAS WRONG! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!*
 
*DO I LOOK HAPPY NOW CHEMI?!*
 
*WHY CHEMI? WHY?!*
 
My pillows were all wet when I removed my face on it. I sat on my bed leaning my back on the head board. I was now crying silently..
 
*Why are you crying Chemi? What's the real reason of your mourning?* I asked myself.
 
That made me think.. And it was then I realized that Iwasn't crying because of what Minho had told me. I actually accepted all of it, no matter how painful. Afterall, I deserve it.. I was crying because Minho may not accept me again as his friend.. as his dongsaeng. He might treat me as his enemy. And all our good memories together may turn into a nightmare for him. I can't afford to lose Minho. I don't wanna lose him...
 
*I have to do something. ‎I'll try to talk to him tomorrow morning. I should talk to him and explain myself clearly. Oh, Minho.. please don't hate me..*
 
That was the last words that utter on my lips before tiredness dragged me to sleep.
 
I wasn't aware that on that same moment someone was also still awake and also crying
his heart out..
 
This is a super short chappie but don't worry, I will post the next chappie a bit later.. :D
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nihsayashin
[Dongsaeng Saranghae / 160904] I just realized that I didn't proof read any of the chapters before uploading them before. I'll probably rewrite this. Probably.

Comments

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eyeonyou27
#1
Chapter 3: wrote this story way back 2013. FIVE years after, here I am re-reading it again.. for the nth time. :)
gemmymars #2
Chapter 48: Aww~ the ending's so cute^^
Great job authornim~
gemmymars #3
Chapter 12: Unnie, filipino ka ba??
gemmymars #4
Chapter 9: I should really be in bed right now but I can't stop reading~^^
psxthurism
#5
Chapter 48: e n e"

they they they omg my feels are everywhereeeeeeee
psxthurism
#6
Chapter 47: ERMAGERD. CLIFFY ;; I can't wait for the next chapter c: obviously Minho and Chemi will see each other c:
daggerose
#7
Chapter 33: Uwahh! Filipino ka ba?
blxxocean
#8
Chapter 41: I kindda want Chemi to end up with Taemin . am I the only one feels like this ? xD