I found entertainment in laying on David’s bed, reading a magazine as a very awake baby Dae laid next to me, cooing and occasionally rattling her fuzzy sunflower rattle-like toy. Times like this I was extremely thankful to have a non-cranky baby.

As I finished the magazine, I put it back on the small pile of magazines on the bed, searching for a next one, which I found easily. The cover page had the word, “DALMATIAN” on the side as one of the articles under interviews. Smiling, I carefully climbed on the bed next to my baby again, flipping through pages until I stumbled onto a two page spread of a photo.

The boys look GOOD. Really, really good. It was definitely a professional photo. There were standing in a white background, posing, Intae and David wearing glasses-WHICH they sported very, very appealingly. They suited glasses, they should stick to glasses. I stared at the spread for awhile, before turning the page and being awed yet again. They boys were now in a more casual attire, the photo setting outside, with the sun behind them emphasizing their masculine silhouette, but probably some sort of lightsource for their front, as you can see their bright faces very well detailed. Still, they looked amazingly good. I made a mental note to find something like this about BEAST. I’d most definitely want to see Dongwoon in this light.

I turned the page to find the left sheet showing off a photo of them working. Examining the photo more, they looked so serious and concentrated. It’s so funny to see them in person and then this.

But soon, I found my attention on the article on the right page. Mostly on a certain passage.

“As we’re ending the year soon, we’ve all had adversaries. What was your biggest accomplishment in relation to overcoming adversity?”

…Which led my eyes to David’s response.

“ ‘Well honestly I haven’t really made any resolutions, but instead, probably became the root of problems (chuckles). A few months ago, things started getting hectic, and extremely stressful-before debuting, and then there’s the factor of nervousness. I had the mindset of the ’now’ person instead of the ‘future’ person. And in this case, everything I did back them was going to affect the future, since we were just debuting, which for me. I guess you can say my ‘adversity’ was my destructive behavior back then. I handled stress the wrong way, when there are so many more healthier alternatives. Now a personal goal is to resolve those problems.’”

Then there was a side note saying he wouldn’t be any more specific than that.

I continued reading when I stumbled upon another interesting topic in the interview.

“Since half of the members are a lot older than most idols, any ideas on family life?”

I smirked, getting ready for answers close to “nonexistent”, but surprised to find more of the members in for it, or somewhat interested. I have to say it really was a pleasant surprise.

“Actually, my cousin recently gave birth to a baby boy, and when I held him, I started thinking to myself about family life. I’m excited for parenthood. Excited and nervous. I want to have a family and spoil my kids-while teaching them properly, and be the best father I can be-just like how my father was to me. My wife, whoever that is to be, and our kids, that would be my number one priority-to have a close relationship to them and never let them go-NO BROKEN FAMILIES. The family aspect is so important to me, and something I feel- as of now- is only a dream.”

I reread that paragraph a few times to make sure what I read was… what I really read.

I sighed putting the magazine down on the bed, opposite side of Dae, closing my eyes and wondering why I felt a weird-butterfly-like feeling in my stomach again. My thoughts went back to the article I just read, and Dae, and then recent events like Dongwoon and his… girl.

My eyes closed, but I was definitely not asleep. I laid my hand gently over Dae as she shuffled, still awake and playing, but gradually her breathing gently lifted my arm a little and dropped my arm a little-she was asleep. I switched my focus to listening to the boys soft laughing and distant chatting, and then the door opened. Still not opening my eyes, I felt my arm gently lifted and then placed next to my body as I felt a small weight lifted from the bed. Judging from the tiny squeak after that, I inferred that Dae was put on her crib.

Opening my eyes, I saw David. He was tucking our baby in, and then turned to dim the lights so I couldn’t see his distinct facial expressions. After that he reached over me to the magazine, and as I had to breathe, I smelt his scent. Masculine, subtle and musky. I closed my eyes remember Dongwoon, but that thought was soon clouded. On opening my eyes, his back was to me. I watched as he threw the magazine into the pile of magazines on the floor and sat on the side of the bed, next to me, his back still facing me. He looked as If he were meditating or praying. In a matter of minutes he turned around to the bottom of the bed, pulling a sheet over me.

“Holy Sh-“ He gasped, clutching his chest after he pulled to sheet to my neck, thus seeing my wide open, staring eyes.

I gave him a small smile.

“You were awake the whole time?” He said looking a little pissed off.

I nodded sheepishly.

“Dang, say something next time,” He sighed.

I stared at him as he put on socks, or something.

“Why aren’t you drinking with the boys?” I asked cautiously.

“I don’t drink anymore,” He answered.

“Hmm?” I mumbled.

“I stopped drinking.” He repeated.

“Well… that’s good,” I said not knowing what else to say. I thought for awhile… and proceeded to say, “By any chance, does it have anything to do with your interview?” I said. I might as well, if he’s willing to put it out there in public…

He turned slowly, looking me in the eyes. Well as much as I could see. In that silence, a roaring man laugh was heard downstairs. He nodded, “Yup,” He said. “Personal reasons, though.” He chuckled a bit after staring at the magazine he threw on the floor, the one I was reading with “DALMATIAN” on the cover.

I sat up. “I think I’m kind of in your personal life now, at least,” I wondered… I was too curious. And it was true. I was in his personal life. “So… why?” I said feeling and sounding like a little girl.

He sighed again.

“When I drink, I get a little out of hand.”

I nodded as he looked at Dae. I guess I won’t push any further…

“You’re sleeping here by the way,” He commented. “Junnie’s been drinking, I just got a text saying he’s passed out on the couch… and if you wanted to ‘join the party’ downstairs.” He said with air quotes. I stared at him and shook my head.  Moments of silence lingered more…

David stood up and left.

I sat there, a bit bewildered by his actions, but ended up watching Baby breathe. I laid there and eventually fell asleep.