One step. Two step. Three, four, five… and now we’re downstairs. Where many male voices are heard.

I put on a smile so big, my cheeks hurt, really bad, and as we entered the kitchen-holding hands- half of the room was on us. I looked at the beast members. Dujun was about to put a piece of food into his mouth, but hesitated, Junhyung was just staring at us, so was hyunseung, and yoseob, but he already saw us. Kikwang actually looked slightly pissed, and Dongwoon…was texting… or using his phone…

I bowed at a 90 degree angle, hoping that my respect would make them more ‘soft’. I added a little wave.

“Long time no see,” David started, looking extremely confident, might I add.

“David,” Junhyung and more of the beast members came to him and greeted him, slapping his hand and what not.

I felt awkward but they all casually greeted me.

“You’re not going to kiss me again, right?” Dujun said innocently, and maybe a bit scared.

I shook my head, “Ani, Ani,” I said my,  gaze on the floor. “I’m sorry,” I said, not looking up still.

“Ah, We’re over it, Right guys?” Junhyung added, “Let’s all be friends and hangout again, arraseo?” He added and the guys all cheered. Well I think all of them did.

Dongwoon finally came over, completely ignoring David, which he didn’t seem to notice, and hugged me.

“How are you?” He said looking concerned.

“I’m totally fine!” I said with a huge smile again.

“Good. Well, how’s Dae,” He said, and at the sound of her name I smiled.

“Sleeping,” I said and David squeezed my hand, and I forgot he was there.

“Oh, you know David,” I said turning to my ‘boyfriend’.

Dongwoon slowly turned, and looked down at him. I have to say, that was quite funny. Dongwoon, maybe almost ten years younger, but he’s extremely taller than David, which made me snicker.

David looked at me, but I looked away.

“Please, take good care of them,” Dongwoon said, bowing a little and acting formally to him.

“Don’t worry about it, she’s in good hands,” David answered, Dongwoon opened his mouth, but closed it again, and turned around and away. At this point, the only one that hasn’t talked to me, well, greeted me was Kikwang. I tried to brush of the weird feeling, but it remained there. I didn’t have to guts to walk right up to him, there was something mildly intimidating with him.

David’s and my head looked towards the stairs. A faint cry was heard, and soon, we were automatically running up the stairs as we barged into Dae’s room. She was crying.

“Baby, Baby, ssh, Umma’s here,” I said quickly picking her up. I cradled her as David handed me her binky.

We both shushed her as I sent him downstairs to fill up a bottle.

In a matter of seconds, the door opened and I stretched my arm out for the bottle and quickly exchanged the binky for the bottle as Dae scrunched her face about to cry again.

“Sh, Sh,” I said rocking her and stepping side-to-side, humming.

As I lifted my eyes to the tall figure, I almost jumped back.

“Dongwoon-ah, you scared me,” I said, my chest heaving.

He smiled, “Sorry,” and I just nodded him off. “You look like such an umma now,” He commented.

I smiled goofily. “That’s good, right?”

“Yeah, I can see you making a great mother,” He returned a cute grin.

I couldn’t make myself hum anymore, feeling a bit…unrelaxed.

“Is he treating you right?” Dongwoon said seriously. This was a new side to him.

I looked to him, but he wasn’t looking at me, but paying more attention to the string hanging from his jacket cuff.

“Yeah, just wonderful, why?” I said a little suspicious everytime I lied my stomach felt a pang. I guess the butterflies hate liars.

“Well, the last I heard of him… actually I never heard of him, cause you didn’t know who the father was,” He said, with no hint of… any emotion. Just blank. Just a fact. That was true, it was a fact.

“I know, I didn’t know until Christmas Day, the day I gave birth,” I said watching Dae’s eyes flutter to a close. “It was weird, it was… magical…” I said and bit my lip for my stupid choice of words, “Cause Dari was in the hospital from an injury and I was being rushed in at the same time, and we sort of met,” I said.

Then I sat down on the bed next to him.

“Well as long as your okay,” Dongwoon said, staring at the space ahead of him. “You know I’m always here for you,” He said in a softer tone.

I nodded, feeling warmth from his words, “Dongwoon-ah, you make me feel better,” I said smiling up to him.

He turned to look at me and smiled to me then smiled at the baby.

“Omo! She’s beautiful,” He said and I looked at Dae, who was awake, surprisingly, and staring at him.

“Hi baby Dae,” He said waving at her like a child. Her eyes were round and full of wonder.

He was playing with her a little bit, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. I felt guilty and then sad, and then happy. What am I doing, lying that David and I are a couple, why am I even listening to David?  I feel fine right here.

Dongwoon was holding her hand and coo-ing at her, when I opened my mouth about to confirm truth when David passed by the crack of the door, and my eyes went round with ‘what are you doing?’ as he smiled and gave 2 thumbs up. Oh David…  I rolled my eyes at him.

“So… “ Dongwoon started as he sat up. He looked unfomfortable.

“Bwoh?” I said interested in what he would have to say.

“I want to tell you first, as friends, you know…” He started.  “You and David are cute, and so far, David seems like he’s getting to be a better person than I’d thought.” I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“Well, I met a girl,” He said and blushed slightly. Omo.

“Oh, how cute,” I meant for that to be more excited sounding, but it came out flat. “How?” I said pushing further.

“Well Min’s been acting weird, and Kikwang’s a bit worried about her. YooJoo, one of Min’s and Kikwang’s friend, yeah, that’s her,” Dongwoon said turning a tiny shade pink, while I felt my stomach rumble…with jealously. “They’re both concerned, so basically I met her through hyung.” He said.

Could this be the blonde hair-ed girl?

“I mean I am also worried about Min…” He added. Then I remembered Min. Wow, how can this happen to me. My jealously came before my friend… one of my really good friends whose relationship I had with her was great, until I ruined it… single handedly.

“What’s wrong?” I said quickly shifting to concerned-friend-mode.

“Well, she’s been… dull. Flat. Not exciting and perky as she was before. It’s depressing, that’s what it is-she’s being so depressing. Always pointing out the flaws and cons of everything,” He said with a confused face.

This had to be my fault. It HAS TO. What we’re my last words to her?

…

“…your always optimistic, it’s annoying!”

“Do you know how naïve you are right now? I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you! I’m sick of Dongwoon! I’m sick of partying and seeing girl’s stare at me weird, and the snow, and my aching body. I’m sick of this life, and this baby!”

Oh wow. I was a real . I can’t believe I even said this, oh the misdeeds of impulsiveness.

“Are you okay?” Dongwoon said suddenly.

I looked to him, “Oh, I was thinking,”

He nodded, and then a silence, which was quickly interrupted by Yoseob yelling from downstairs.

“Let’s eat dinner, I’m hungry!!!” 

SORRY READERS WHOM I LOVE DEARLY. i forget if I told you already, but the everyday updates were for the month of january during the lapse of auditioning periods, so theres no more everyday updates. And it's testing months, so I'm focusing on school and it's grad season-lots of people are graduating!!! so fun, sorry readers, I'll try and update as much as I can but I'm sorry if it's not even weekly -_-

thank you, stick with me K?! ^_______________^