7 ★ Strength
The Star-Crossed Hearts
While my lecturer is busy explaining about the new topic, Jieul, Sooeun, and Haemin are busy discussing something else. Both Yoojoon and I are distracted by their voices.
"What are you talking about?" I decide to join their conversation since I'm too curious. They look really deep in their discussion.
"We will go to meet Mrs Yoon today for the consultation about our final project. How about you?" Jieul asks me. "Our deadline is less than three weeks, remember?"
Mrs Yoon is the lecturer who will be our consultant in our final projects. We are the ones who choose the lecturers who suit our final project themes and so on.
New Year has passed and it only means that our final project deadline is coming near. I haven't finished mine either because my groupmates are quite busy lately so I can't finish mine.
"I'll accompany you," I reply her but my eyes are distracted by my other classmate, Yuri, who is giving me a sign that she wnats to talk with me. "Go back to your discussion."
I carefully shift my chair closer to Yuri until we can talk about whatever she wants to talk about, "Riah, have you found job yet?"
Ah, yes, as the student who will graduate soon, we only have two objectives in mind at the moment. First is to finish our final projec and second is to find job.
We will soon say goodbye to our college days and say hello to the world of working days. It feels so strange that I will be working somewhere somehow pretty soon.
Actually I haven't found the passion yet. Let's just say I still want to enjoy the time with my friends yet I know I can't stay like this forever. Perhaps my real reason is because I don't have the confident.
I don't think I have an extra-ordinary skill like my friends. Jieul is really good with public speaking, Haemin is really good in handling many tasks at one time, and Sooeun is smart.
What do I have?
"No, I haven't," I answer, propping my chin on my palm. "Why? Do you have found it, Yuri?"
"There is a vacancy at a company. The location is near from our houses. I want to try and send my CV. Do you want to try, Riah?"
I blink, hoping that I don't misheard her question. She tells me about the details and where I should send my CV through email, "Tell me if you send it, okay?"
"Sure," I answer with a forced smile. I return my gaze to the lecturer but my mind is actually wondering somewhere else.
The job is actually a good one but why do I feel that it's not the one for me? It's not my dream job but it's actually the one people consider as a good one for someone who comes from my major.
My pessimistic side gets over me once again. This always happens whenever a chance appears. I feel that whatever I do will do no good for me so why do I bother to take it?
"Yah, are you alright, Riah?" Jieul asks me when we're walking out from class, heading to Mrs Yoon's office. "You're zoned out for a while now. Is something wrong?"
"No, I'm just... Headache, you know. Lack of sleep," I fake a smile and decide to talk about our final project. I don't think it's a good time to discuss about it because we're busy with our own tasks.
"Oh, Myungsoo!" Haemin sounds excited when we see Myungsoo and his groupmates in front of Mrs Yoon's office. "Are you going to meet Mrs Yoon too?"
"Oh, Minnie," Myungsoo greets her back. "Yes. We have a lot of things to catch up with her. How about you?"
Within just minutes two of them talk about random stuff. Haemin even has Myungsoo's phone in her hand now while Myungsoo keeps talking about his final project.
Instead of taking the empty seat next to Haemin, I step farther and stand at the side of the railing, looking at the ground floor of the building. There is nothing to look actually but I just can't look at them.
Myungsoo just returned from the different country after attending his cousin's wedding party a week ago. There is nothing happened between us except the fact that he once tried to show me his room there via webcam but I was busy that moment.
Our tasks and final projects are diverting my thought from him. Not that I'm saying that I have a special feeling for him but, well, I do feel strange looking at him and Haemin so close now.
"What are you thinking, Riah?" I mumble to myself, smiling sarcastically. "They knew each other even before I knew them."
"Yah, Hyung," Myungsoo suddenly approaches me, leaning to the railing right next to me. "How is your final project?"
My heart beats rapidly because of our close distance. He doesn't even look at me but I can't even control my heartbeat now.
"So so," I answer awkwardly, intertwining my fingers together. "I can't do anything as for now since my groupmates are busy. Looks like you're doing well with yours."
"You bet," he laughs and glances at me, still keeping his playful smile. "I'm actually worrying about my project since I'm with them."
I tilt my head, waiting for him to explain but he changes the topic right away, just like what he always did whenever he wanted, "Have you applied for job yet, Hyung?"
There. The strange feeling of annoyance whenever he calls me 'Hyung'.
"Yuri offered me one in class today but I think I'm not going to take it," I heave a sigh, shoving away my annoyance. "I don't think I'm good enough for that job."
"Hey, you'll never know until you try," he scolds me softly. "Besides it's worth a try. It won't hurt to try, right?"
"I don't know...," I murmur vividly, looking at my hands. I wonder how he can be so optimistic. "I guess I just don't have the courage yet."
There are seconds of silence before he suddenly states, "I'll send my CV too. Let's give it a try, okay?"
I look at him with disbelief but he only gives me a grin, "Who knows that we can work at the same place, right?"
Before I can reply him, his groupmate calls him over to meet with Mrs Yoon because it's their turn now. He excuses himself and steps in Mrs Yoon's office room with his groupmates.
Jieul asks me about what I'm talking and I tell her about the job vacancy that Yuri offered me. I don't tell my friends about how Myungsoo tried to encourage me.
Honestly speaking I don't even have intention to tell about it to anyone.
It's a pretty simple conversation but it's enough to make me feel confident. I send my CV to the company that night without hesitation.
"You gave me strength even when you didn't know."
I click the tweet button and smile when I read my own tweet. It feels strange that Myungsoo is the one who made my mood worse when he was busy talking with Haemin but he is also the one who made me smile again in no time.
Maybe, just maybe... I'm interested with him for being so different from me.
His playful smile. His cheerful attitude. His optimistic mindset.
He is just so different from me that I want to know more about him.
It's not love, isn't it?
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