22 ★ I Don't Know
The Star-Crossed Hearts
"Riah, are you going to watch a movie this week with us?"
I'm at office when I receive the text message from Sungyeol. I know there is a new movie and it's a really good one, based on the rating. Of course I also know that my friends will watch it together.
One week has passed since my graduation day and I haven't gathered with my friends since then. It's been longer so I don't really think much about it.
It's Myungsoo. What kind of feeling I will have in heart when I meet him again? Can I hold the urge to have a rapid heartbeat when I see his smile? Should I just avoid him to stop this feeling?
The night of our graduation day, he actually went out with his close friends, including Haemin and Yeorin. I saw their picture together and I felt...
Envy.
Yes, I did take picture with him that day but looking at the picture just made my heart to ached worse, to remember that we would never be together no matter what could possibly happen.
If I confess to him, can it ease my heartache? Is it the best option? What if we'll never be the same anymore? What if I will never see him again because he will avoid me?
I'm scared. I'm afraid of that possibility.
As much as I want him to know my heart, I'm a coward in love to be honest with my feeling.
Is it stupid?
"Pass. I'll watch it with my brother."
I hit the send button and heave a sigh. Maybe I should try to think about him as an ordinary friend instead of doing all attempt to meet him. Maybe that's the best.
How can I forget this feeling if I miss him even just after a week not seeing him?
"Riah," Sumi, who sits right next to me, shifts her chair closer to me. "Do you remember the issue regarding about the new system we just implemented?"
I nod to her, "Of course. The one we haven't solved yet. Why?"
She grins wider and clasps her hands together, "Can you please ask Myungsoo for the solution?"
"Eh?" I react spontaneously. "Why should I ask him?"
"He is smart!" she gives me a simple but a strike one reason. Myungsoo is indeed smart and I can't disagree with it. "Please! We need to solve it immediately!"
I purse my lips with hesitation, torn between my ego to avoid contacting him and my task.
Ordinary friends. Right. Friends will not think too much when asking for help.
"You can do it by yourself," I try fo argue but Sumi raises her eyebrow and I know what she is trying to do. One, because I know Myungsoo better and two, because she is trying to make me closer... which I don't know whether I should be happy or not.
"You can do it by yourself," I try fo argue but Sumi raises her eyebrow and I know what she is trying to do. One, because I know Myungsoo better and two, because she is trying to make me closer... which I don't know whether I should be happy or not.
"Fine," I sigh and glare at Sumi. "I'll send a text message to him. I'll tell you later after he gives me the answer."
Sumi's face beams and she thanks me cheerfully. She then moves closer and whispers, "Please do have a longer conversation with him. I won't mind to wait a little longer."
After that she returns to her seat and give me a teasing grin. Sumi sure knows how to tease me, doesn't she?
Calm down, Riah. It will be alright. It's just a text message. Just like what friends do.
Unfortunately my heart has another desire. When he replies to my text message, the urge to prolong the conversation is stronger than my decision to stop asking for more.
I start asking whether he will take our graduation certificate this week or later, about a new phone he wants to buy, about the movie he hasn't watched.
As usual the conversation stops after my text message. I tell him to check the schedule at our university website and he doesn't reply me after that.
It will be a lie if I say I'm not disappointed. I do want to talk with him, even if it's a random conversation.
As long as it's Myungsoo.
"I just took my certificate. kekeke~"
It's a text message I receive from Myungsoo the next day after our text message conversation. I never expected he would tell me such a simple, unimportant thing.
I mean I didn't ask him either so why would he bother to tell me?
My lips unconsciously turn into a smile when I read his text message.
Now I don't know what I should do with my heart.
One moment he turned me down so easily and, another moment, he made me fell for him harder just with a single text message.
They said some people just can never understand how much they really meant to one person.
"I guess you're one of them, Kim Myungsoo," I put my phone near to my lips. I close my eyes and imagine his smile, the smile that can brighten up my day. "When will you realize my feeling?"
I don't know what I should feel now but I know one thing for sure.
I want to see him...
...and I love him.
__________
Author's Note:
Sorry for the short chapter.
Will update again as soon as possible! :)
__________
Author's Note:
Sorry for the short chapter.
Will update again as soon as possible! :)
Comments