24 ★ Confession? Rejection?
The Star-Crossed Hearts
Some people believed that love could blind us. It sounds silly, doesn't it? But you never know it until you experience it by yourself...
...because, like the others said, love is not something you can describe with words. Not even with a thousand words.
"What wouldn't I do for you?"
It's sent three minutes ago... by Myungsoo.
If people read only that line, they will get a wrong idea. A really wrong one though it's one thing I really want to be real.
I am currently at a Japanese restaurant with colleagues from my department. After work, we came here to have dinner together and that's when I received a message from Myungsoo via SNS. It's been more than a week since the last time we met for a movie with Moon.
At first he asked about the place to repair his phone and the conversation went on to the topic about him buying a new phone. He said that he would buy a new one so I joked around, saying that he must showed it to me the next time we met.
It would be just good if he answered me with 'sure' or 'of course' but instead of those words, he gave me that cheesy words.
I can't help but to smile like an idiot. I read his answer for multiple times, assuring myself that this is not a dream.
Though it's nothing special since he often throws random cheesy words like that to other girls, but since I have feelings for him, it's just impossible not to be happy, right?
Staring at my phone screen, an idea suddenly crosses my mind: what if I give him a hint about me having crush on him?
"Anyway, didn't Haemin ask you about the new movie? Aren't you going to watch it with her?"
"Kekeke. I don't know. We'll see."
I bite my bottom lip, letting the ice cream on my waffle to melt. I type the next question carefully, hesitating for seconds before I hit the send button.
"Can I ask you something? You're really close to Haemin, right? I mean... Don't you have any feeling for her? Even for the slightest?"
To be honest I know the answer already... or at least that's what I want to believe in.
"Nope. Just friends. Why, Hyung?"
I take a deep breath and type letter by letter with caution, as if I'm going to sign a contract for life. I don't even pay attention to others anymore.
"What if I say that there is someone who likes you? Someone who is really close to you?"
Myungsoo doesn't take long time to answer that question. My heart beats like crazy at the moment. I'm really curious to know his answer yet fear gets me as well.
"Eh? Really? Who?"
"It's just a what-if question, Myungsoo! kekeke. What would you do, eh?"
"Ah, wouldn't it be awkward? What if she likes me but I don't feel the same?"
For a second I really hope that I'm dreaming right now. Like usual, he brought me to the heaven of happiness easily and he dropped me to the deepest sadness in a blink.
It's not even a direct confession but I have received the answer for my biggest question, the one that haunted me for months.
"Because you like someone else? kekeke"
I try my best to pretend that I'm just a curious friend when my heart is actually breaking inside. It's really...
How can I even describe it?
"It's not like that. I don't have anyone in mind right now!"
My heart aches as if someone is trying to rip my heart from inside. For the first time ever since I realized that I fell for him, I feel really grateful that I never confess to him.
How would he act towards me if I confessed to him before? Would he still talk to me like this? Would we be good friends that watch movies together again?
"Men think about saving money from future, right? You have a long way to go, Kim Myungsoo!"
"Of course money is important. I need to save a lot for a better future. kekeke"
The conversation stops there. I decide to stop it or my colleagues will notice that my mood has changed. I don't want to ruin the happy night into a gloomy one just because of...
Confession.
Why does it feel so difficult to be honest, to tell someone about our feeling? When I was little, I thought being honest was everything so if I liked something I just needed to say it.
As time passed by and I grew up, I finally learned that it's not that simple. I started to think about how my feeling would affect my friendship, about how it would affect my future life, and about another person's feeling.
"When will you buy your new phone?"
Once I arrive at home, I send the message to him, feeling that I should make everything to look normal, leading the topic to something general.
I don't know why I even try so hard to be like this.
Isn't it easier if I just ignore him? Isn't it just easier if I draw distance from him? Why?
Because I love him.
I guess that's the one and only answer I have to my endless questions.
"Next week perhaps. Have you updated your OS, Hyung?"
"Not yet. I'll update later."
"You are so cool, Hyung!"
"It will be even better if you just by me a new phone, Myungsoo. kekeke"
"You asked me to save money just for a new phone? Seriously?"
My eyes widen in shock when I read his reply. I rub my eyes just to make sure that I don't misread it, word by word.
What is he talking about?
"Who saves for who? What are you talking about? You?"
He doesn't reply it but I manage to figure out his joke... if it's a joke.
"Kim Myungsoo...," I heave a sigh, feeling that my heart starts to beat out of control again, "What are you trying to do with my heart actually?"
Myungsoo doesn't reply it at all. I know that maybe from him it's just a random prank as he tries to be all sweet with words but, for me, it's not just simple words.
Seriously. If he knows that I have a crush on him and he still treats me like this, he is really cruel.
I scroll up and re-read the conversation again. My eyes stop when I read his message, the part where he stated that it would be awkward if someone liked him.
"Is it a rejection?" I clench my fist and close my eyes. My head aches and I'm really confused.
Should I just stop wishing for him to look at me like how I look at him?
"I'm tired...," I murmur to myself. I clutch my shirt as if I'm holding on my dear heart.
"I shouldn't love you, right, Kim Myungsoo?"
__________
Author's Note:
Does everyone understand what Myungsoo was trying to say in his last message?
It took me a while to understand the joke as well. lol
It's kind of difficult for me as an author to write down the scenes since all of them are based on true events.
Please do share your thought about Riah and Myungsoo.
I will be happy to know if you want to share what is good about this story since I actually don't think I have done the best yet with this one.
Drop your opinions at the comment box or through Twitter by mentioning @AFFkyuri91 !
Thank you and hope you enjoy the story. :)
__________
Author's Note:
Does everyone understand what Myungsoo was trying to say in his last message?
It took me a while to understand the joke as well. lol
It's kind of difficult for me as an author to write down the scenes since all of them are based on true events.
Please do share your thought about Riah and Myungsoo.
I will be happy to know if you want to share what is good about this story since I actually don't think I have done the best yet with this one.
Drop your opinions at the comment box or through Twitter by mentioning @AFFkyuri91 !
Thank you and hope you enjoy the story. :)
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