25 ★ Because

The Star-Crossed Hearts
I glance at the calendar on my phone, staring at the date, still don't believe that eight months have passed since the moment I realized that I have fallen in love with the most unexpected person ever.
 
Mostly people will think that it's nothing out of ordinary. He is smart, handsome, friendly, and really good with guitar and sports. Maybe they will think it's normal for me to fall for him.
 
However I don't feel the same. I just can't.
 
I knew him since three years ago since we were in the same class. It's true that I did think he's handsome but that's that. I never really cared about him since we're not close.
 
Kim Myungsoo is a really easy-going guy who happened to attract me with his cheerful and friendly attitude. Unlike me who prefers to think of the detail, he doesn't like difficult things.
 
Our hobbies are too different either. He loves sport and playing guitar while I love to read books and spending my times with personal development activities.
 
How could we be close again? Right. Because I tried to hook Myungsoo with Haemin and it actually backfired at me.
 
The more I deny it, the more I yearn for him.
 
"Ah, are you going to leave now?" Jieul asks me when I stand up. "Have your friends arrived there?"
 
I visited Yoojoon's house today to meet up with Jieul since she will leave Seoul for days next week. I also made promise with my best friends from junior high school to meet up later since we only meet once a year.
 
"I think so," I button up my jacket and tuck my hands inside of the pockets. "Don't forget to give the suprise present to Sungjong, Jieul."
 
Jieul nods and replies, "But he's outside right now. Haven't I told you?"
 
"No," I shake my head. I head out from Yoojoon's room with Jieul after biding goodbye with Yoojoon. "Where is he?"
 
"The new mall. The one you're going right now," Jieul gives me a sly smile. "He's with Myungsoo, you know."
 
I blink in surprise but I try my best to act cool, "Really? How did you know then?"
 
"Sungjong sent me a message around an hour ago, asking if Myungsoo asked me to go to the mall," Jieul opens the door for me. "I told him I didn't get any message and I have something to do as well."
 
I nod randomly and take out my phone from bag to call my friend. That's when I realize that there are five new SNS messages from five different contacts.
 
"Did Myungsoo ask you to go the new mall?"
 
It's from Sungjong. I smile sadly and reply to him before I check the other messages.
 
"Nope but I'm going there too. Where are you right now?"
 
I scroll to read the last message and my eyes widen in surprise when I see Myungsoo's name.
 
"Yo, Hyung, let's go to the new mall!"
 
"He asked me?" I murmur vividly, loud enough for Jieul to hear me. "He actually asked me to go?"
 
Jieul grins and starts to tease me, "Ah, someone is happy right now! Myungsoo asked you privately! How happy are you, Riah?"
 
Is it even possible to describe how happy I am right now?
 
I quickly reply his message but looks like the connection there is just not good. Even after I arrive at the mall, both Myungsoo and Sungjong still haven't replied my question about where they are.
 
"Riah!" Hain, one of my best friends, waves to me when I just stepped in the restaurant. It's decorated like a garden and we can choose to eat at the indoor or outdoor. "Here! Here! Where have you been?"
 
I apologize to them and quickly order my favorite menu here, the chocolate ice cream waffle. Once in a while I will check my phone, still hoping to receive a notification from them...
 
...and I don't wait in vain this time.
 
Kim Myungsoo. The name flashes on my phone screen, the notification of a phone call.
 
"Myungsoo, where are you?"
 
"Hyung, where are you?"
 
The questions come out from us at the very same time after I accepted the phone call. I hold my laughter and repeat my question, earning the answer that both of them are at the coffee shop which is not too far from the restaurant.
 
I tell him that my friends will leave after this since they have an errand to do later so I ask him if they're going back later too or not.
 
"Ah, I'm going back after this. I have to meet with my old friends," Myungsoo answers honestly, making me to fall in silence of disappointment.
 
Is it too much to expect him to stay longer so we can be together... just for a while?
 
"You're still at the restaurant, right?" Myungsoo breaks the silence. "I'll go there first to meet you then with Sungjong, okay?"
 
"Oh, okay," I reply without full focus anymore. I end the phone call and heave a sigh, making my friends to look at me with confusion.

After a while a question crosses my mind: why does he even need to come here first? If he wants to return, he can return right away.
 
The moment when my waffle comes, my eyes find Myungsoo and Sungjong are waiting for me at the outdoor part of the restaurant. My lips turn into a curve unconsciously.
 
Myungsoo is wearing a black polo shirt, waving to me as if he is calling me to come out. I tell my friends to wait for me as I rush outside as quick as possible.
 
"Hyung!" Myungsoo greets me with a smile that makes my heart to skip uncontrollably. "Ah, you didn't read my message earlier!"
 
I just smile, the only way that I can surpress my overwhelming happiness in front of me. It's becoming a habit, to be like this.
 
Faking a smile, laughing off his tease, pretending that everything is alright when this one guy is actually the center of my world right now.
 
Does he have any idea of that? Even just for the slightest?
 
"Oh, right," Myungsoo suddenly hands over his new phone with a wide grin. "You said you wanted to see it when we met, right?"
 
Blood rushes to my brain in abnormal speed. I give him a childish grin, telling myself that I must pretend that there is nothing special while I already forget about my ice cream waffle.

He remembers.

I know it's just nothing for him or others but, for me, it's something really important.
 
It's such an unfortunate that he needs to return earlier. I really, really want to spend more time wit him yet I can't express it.
 
I want him to know but I'm too afraid.
 
I want to stop this feeling yet I can't.
 
"Riah, if I ask you why do you like Myungsoo, what is your answer?" Jieul asked me when we're alone. Yoojoon was out to buy something for us so both of us were free to talk about anything.
 
I stopped watching the television and looked back at Jieul with confusion, "Eh? Why did you ask me that?"
 
Jieul laughed and rested her back against the sofa, "It's just a random question. It's understandable. He is smart, good-looking, and nice, right?"
 
"He is childish, Jieul." I retorted calmly, thinking about those jokes Myungsoo always threw randomly. "Sometimes he also curses a lot. He is too weird. He is also selfish at some point."
 
Jieul's next question surprised me. I freezed for seconds to think for the answer.
 
"Then why do you like him?"
 
"I...," I opened my mouth just to close it again. Why did I like him? Why did I try so hard to hide my feeling? Why was I afraid that he would stay away from me?
 
I didn't know. I didn't know how to explain why he was so important for me now. I didn't know what the reason of me falling in love with him.
 
"Because it's him," I intertwined my fingers together, locking my gaze at my own hands. "I guess this kind of feeling will not stay this long if it's not him."
 
Jieul frowned upon my answer but I just forced a smile and said, "If only I know the reason, I think I will know how to stop this feeling."
 
I quickly changed the topic by saying that she also needed to give me a reason why she wanted to be with Yoojoon but she was also speechless.
 
What I told Jieul is a honest confession. Since I can't stop myself from loving him, at least this is all I can ask for now.
 
To stay by his side as his good friend.
 
To be with him and see his smile.
 
It's enough as long as he is happy.
 
 
__________
 
 
Author's Note:
 
There are a lot who don't understand the message, right? Same happened to me the first time I read the message. kekeke.
As for Myungsoo's text, yongjunhyoseob and hyunie18 got it right! ;)
 
At least that's what 'Riah' and 'Jieul' told me though. I hope I described it good enough here.
And as for the question whether if Riah confessed in front of her friends, the answer is 'no'.
Myungsoo and Riah had the conversation through SNS (example: KakaoTalk, LINE, Whatsapp)
 
Anyway, the last part of Riah's reason, about why she likes Myungsoo, it's inspired by Reply 1997.
Yes, it's a drama where A Pink's Eunji and INFINITE's Hoya are in. It's a really good drama!
And this came from me who doesn't really like watching K-drama so... well, you know. ;)
 
However it's also what 'Riah' is feeling right now towards 'Myungsoo' so I think it's the best to describe what's in her mind right now.
 
And let's have small discussion here.
What do you think about Myungsoo and Riah actually? What do you think Myungsoo has in mind about Riah?
As for me, I think Myungsoo is just being over friendly but, well, who knows?

I will be honest here,
this story still doesn't have the end yet and I don't know how it will end either.
If you want me to end it with a happy ending, it's not too difficult for me but if you do expect the real ending, please be patience. kekeke ;)

Thank you for reading! ^^


 
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inspirit0712
#1
Chapter 40: This story broke my heart a thousand times. It's because this is similar to mine.., falling in love with someone unconditionally, hurting yourself over and over again yet you find no reason not to love him and even if you've convinced yourself you've move on but the moment you saw that person, all those feelings and memories came rushing back...
I just want to ask question though,,is it your own experience too?
I won't force you to answer if you're uncomfortable.
Anyways,,thanks for writing this story..<3
ajnadin
#2
Chapter 40: i really really feel hurt
blossomblackandwhite #3
Chapter 40: Okay, all i could say 'THIS STORY SOOO PERFECT!' i believe some of people ever encounter this kind situation (sadly, me too). I even can feel riah sincere for myungsoo... hope she could find someone betrer for her, she deserve more ♡ thank you for writing this beautiful story author-nim...^^
everydaechen
#4
Chapter 29: KYAAAAAAAAA MALIQ N D'ESSENTIALS!!! NEVER THOUGHT I'D CAME ACROSS A FIC WITH MALIQ IN IT!!!! /FANGIRLS/
alienjello-dy #5
Chapter 40: i can totally relate myself to Riah's situation in this story
so i kind of understand her pain ...
i cried at the very final chapter though ...
elseiraa-
#6
Chapter 39: hey, your story have touched my heart :')
my eyes teared up on almost every chapter, and I know how painful is the pain that Riah feels. been there, done that :"
Wishing all the best for Riah's love life, may you find your true love :3
timcil
#7
Chapter 38: the ending is so realistic. its great!
blueskypiz #8
Chapter 29: Untitled - maliq n d'essential
inspirit-beauty #9
Chapter 40: just omg this is really a sad one sided love story! dont worry there will be a "someday" for us, its just that myung happens to be ur first step in loving expirience, i know there will be more :) and u really love him, for letting him and minding his own happiness he is one lucky guy and u r one in a million to love.. i hope ur friendship will still remains, better luck next time i guess but until now im still curious if what myung really thinks! haha i hope for ur fast recovery in ur first heartache? ^-^v
watermelon
#10
Chapter 40: It's really heart-wrenching.
I will never be able to do that. Walking in, smiling while seeing him and her together.
The reason you cried for is so pure and kind.
But I guess maybe that's what they call true love, something I haven't experienced before though I've been hurt by a one-sided love before too.
I respect you, and I hope you know that.
One day, you'll meet your destined star too.
And I truly believe he will hold you dearest to him, till infinity and beyond.(':
Just like what I've said before, I really love this story. Because it's true, sincere and lovely.
Simple but yet beautiful. Thank you for sharing.<3
Hope today is a good day for you...(: