28 ★ Mistake
The Star-Crossed Hearts
To be honest, I'm not a person with great virtue. Frankly speaking, despite the fact that people sometimes tease me and I just laugh upon the jokes, it's not like I don't have the limit of patience.
Today is just another bad day for me. It's starting from the morning and the day turns out to be worse as the time goes by.
Now I have no idea what I should do anymore.
"Aigoo...," I take out my glasses which I don't wear often and wear it to hide my swollen eyes. "It doesn't work this way..."
I'm currently in a bookstore of a mall where I just had lunch with five of my friends. Yes, one of them is Myungsoo and, yes again, I'm the only girl among six of us.
I've asked Haemin to come but she apologized to me right when I just arrived because she had a family business. How could I complaint anyway? Besides we would only have simple, fun lunch today.
Or at least I thought so.
Everything went well until my mood dropped down within a moment. Actually it was quite messed up since the morning when I was still at home.
Let's just say I'm never in a good term with my older brother. For some specific points, we just can't get along and, as the result, we rarely talk to each other even until today.
Since I don't want to make it even worse, I usually ignore whatever he says but, like I said, I'm not a person with great virtue. I just couldn't endure it for today.
So I woke up today and, out of all coincidences, he also woke up at the very same time. However I used the bathroom first so he needed to wait for a while.
His complaint was such a childish act. He kept saying that I always took his precious time, that I took too long inside, and more and more and more. It's so silly that I couldn't help but to scoff in sarcasm.
I really wanted to counter him with words but knowing that my grandmother apparently loves him so much since he is her first grandchildren, I kept silence and let him said whatever.
That's why I chose to go out as soon as possible, hoping that meeting up with my friends would heal my bad mood...
...but I guess it's a wrong decision.
"Ah, Su Riah, you're such a fool...," I wipe the tear that almost escapes my eyes. I heave a sigh and lean to the bookshelf, hiding myself at the corner of the crowded bookstore. "You need your stupid smiling mask right now..."
Around an hour ago I was in rage because of the conversation in the group of social network which I joined since college days. They talked about our juniors, mocking and judging their reckless actions.
Maybe my bad mood clouded my judgement; I mean, well, it's like they're doing better than our juniors! I just couldn't help but to let my mood became worse than ever.
As if it's not enough, my mood swang to the worst state because of my own friends. I know perfectly how easy going they are but I guess I was being childish just now.
Everyone was confused about where we should go so I suggested karaoke time. Myungsoo agree immediately and Sungjong told me to book a room for us.
However when I had booked it and told them to get ready, Sungyeol and Woohyun immediately rejected the idea, saying it's no fun to go to karaoke; they preferred to watch a movie.
Whatever.
At the very moment my emotion got into me because of the word. Whenever I asked them, they gave me the word that I finally snapped at them, raising my voice unintentionally.
I managed to excuse myself to the bathroom since I had the urge to cry. It's not because I was mad at them.
Maybe I was just afraid; too afraid that Myungsoo had seen this side of me who couldn't be an easy going friend. He's too easy going and calm while I always overreact and everything, completely the opposite of him. Plus I hate myself for being so weak against the mood swings.
Now everyone is at the bookstore and I slip away, standing at the corner of the bookstore, hoping that I can calm myself down while they are busy with themselves.
Unfortunately I am wrong. Again.
"Hyung?" a familiar voice almost makes my heart jumps out from my body. I turn to see the concerned eyes, "What's wrong?"
I am too surprised to think with my brain. I quickly turn away and walk as fast as possible from Myungsoo, "N-Nothing!"
"Yah!" he calls out again but I don't even bother to turn and face him. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! Really! Nothing!" I mumble vividly and try to find the others. Inside, I'm cursing myself so badly; I should have just pretended that nothing happened!
My reaction is definitely the opposite of what I just said. I'm such a stupid person ever!
Minutes later we decide to have the final snack time before we separate on our own ways. We bid goodbye to each other and for a split of seconds, I look at Myungsoo's eyes just to have fear overwhelms my heart.
Something is wrong and my heart knows it.
★ ★ ★
I stare at my phone screen with anxiety. My intuition keeps telling me that I made a big mistake. A really big one indeed, judging from Myungsoo's reaction.
One day after my bad mood, I realized that I made a really bad impression between my friends. I was out of control and Sungjong confirmed it but he didn't say anything bad.
He said that it's normal if I was in a bad mood; everyone had those moments. He assured me that I shouldn't mind it at all but he would be happier if I could be my cheerful self, laughing along with them instead of keeping silence.
I guess I'm just being paranoid and, apparently, this caused me a big impact.
"Anyway, I'm sorry. For being so gloomy yesterday. Especially because Sungjong said I was so quiet."
That's the message I typed to Myungsoo after we talked about random topics. My heart beats so fast since I'm nervous about what kind of reaction he will show.
I must admit that I was really surprised when he found me at the bookstore. It's the stationery section where people don't really visit often...
...and he eventually found me there. Is it a coincidence?
"What did Sungjong say?"
"Ah, no, he just asked about what's wrong and so on. That's why I wanted to apologize. kekeke~"
"^^"
That's all. He only replied me with a smile emoticon. Now I know I made a stupid mistake.
"No comment, eh?"
"No comment. kekeke~"
The conversation ends just with that. I'm too speechless to respond again.
I shouldn't let my mood took over my emotion. I shouldn't act like a spoiled child. I shouldn't...
I guess I shouldn't say anything to him.
I'm completely doomed.
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