PLAYLIST: “Baby Baby,” 4MEN

BAEKHYUN

You see, I am not a bad singer.

The amount of CD’s and Vinyl I own is enough proof of my love for music. I love to sing, I sing all the time—but only in the vicinity of my house, specifically my bathroom. I don’t sing in public, definitely not in a baby shower where fifteen vulgar women are watching me like I’m some entertainer they hired for their bachelorette’s party. I’m not even a shy person, I just don’t do it because I was never put in a position where I had to—until today.

I am not quite fond of this set-up, only because I did not come here for that. What am I supposed to do now? It’s Dohee’s family, I really want them to like me. It’s not like I can just say no, right? “You can just say no.” Dohee seemingly reads my mind and whispers in my ear. A nervous smile tugs at my mouth as I turn to her. I wipe the side of her lips that had cream and it off my thumb. “No, it’s okay. I’m only singing for you though; they can’t expect me to look at anybody else but my girlfriend while I sing.” I softly mouth, making every word quiet enough for only her to hear.

She snorts a laugh as she peels her eyes away from me. “I’m not joking.” I make it clear to her, my gaze never faltering.

If there was one person that I would be proud enough to sing to, it’s going to be her. Her relatives might have paved the way for me to do this but I’ve always personally desired to sing for her someday. I want to be that guy who sings his girlfriend to sleep or even just to cheer her up at night. I want to be that kind of boyfriend who serenades his woman until she is as red as a tomato. I want to be … that groom who sings for his beautiful bride on their wedding day.

I mean, having all these women watch along with her wasn’t necessarily what I have envisioned in my head when I finally do it, but it’s fine. It’s feasible.

I throw back a swig and swallow the last of my soda before putting the can down. Although I have purposely eaten my food as slowly as I possibly could just for the sake of stretching the moment until I have to sing, time seems to be playing a trick on me today and it flew by so quickly. A throat clear makes me look up. Across me on the dining table is Hyesoo, smiling at me while her tummy. I awkwardly return the expression before looking at my girlfriend who is busy eating her apple pie.

Well, if I’m singing today, I probably shouldn’t be eating the desserts for the mean time. I know how it works alright. Also, my throat is very sensitive with sweet stuff so if I want to sound good later, I should avoid them until this is over.

I scan the place, some of the guests are already done eating and now they’re looking through the song book. I actually like this way of gathering, very casual. We were fit into two long dining tables and the chairs don’t seem to all match so I assume they had to strategize and find a way to make all the guests be able to eat together somehow. No one is forced to stay on the table even if they’re done eating. It gives me a homey feeling. If it was a gathering with my family, it would be considered rude to be roaming around and chatting loudly while other people are still eating.

“Okay okay! Mr. Dohee Boyfriend, are you ready to sing?” A loud voice from behind jolts me and before I could turn, firm grip lands on my shoulders, tickling me with a sloppy massage. Well, aren’t they … very welcoming? I turn to my girlfriend, embarrassment pinching her face as she watches her aunt touch me so freely. It’s okay, I don’t mind. I tell her with my smile and I feel her squeeze my thigh lightly under the table.

I break free from the older lady’s hold as goosebumps scatter my skin. “Aunty, maybe let him eat dessert first.” Dohee tries to rescue me but I am already yanked off my chair by her aunt. Wow, they’re really … comfortable with me already. I’m not so sure if that’s even a good thing in my case right now? 

Sing for us! Sing for us! Sing for us! Everyone cheers while clapping in sync as one of the guests grabs my hand and wraps my fingers around the microphone. “Uh—right now? I thought Miss Hyesoo is go—going  to open her gifts first?” I nervously laugh while looking at the others who are still singing. I meet eyes with Mrs. Shim and to my surprise, she is looking quite apologetic right now. But still, she doesn’t do anything. I have only met her a few times so I am not to judge but … she has the least energy today from all the other times I have met her.

She’s not looking very happy to be here at all. I guess I can’t really blame her. Neither am I having the best time right now because people keep touching me so recklessly and shouting at my face like I am a meter away from them which I think is absolutely unnecessary. I feel like a celebrity getting stalked and disrespected by some delusional fans, is this how they feel everyday?

The thick song book gets shoved on my chest by an excited guest, whom I believe is one of Dohee’s older cousins. “Aigoo—you’re so handsome up close! You go choose a song now, sweetie.” She exclaims before pinching my cheek. My irises expand in size as I step back out of reflex from the sudden skin-to-skin contact.

At this point, I have no other expression left in me but an awkward smile. I feel drained, very drained. They are literally all my energy out of me. I have never felt this in such a short period of time.

I feel another person throw arms over me and I get dragged closer to the television. “We really enjoy karaoke here, you should get used to it, son!” The woman states with a big grin on her face.

Fine, I don’t mind getting used to karaoke but please, let go of me.

I snort a nervous laugh while nodding. Yet another touch from behind jolts me once again but for some reason, the warmth felt familiar which makes me ease down. “Aunty, I’ll help him choose a song.” I sigh in relief when I realize it’s only Dohee. She makes the woman let go of me before dragging me to the couch. “I’m sorry, you must be so uncomfortable now. Trust me, me too.” I hear her mutter softly while rubbing my back. Again, I smile down to her.  “That’s fine, don’t worry, love.” I assure her. I mean, it’s technically not fine but I am willing to do anything for Dohee and if this is part of me being in her life, then I will do it gladly with a consistent smile on my face.

Anything for her, she’s worth it.

“Seriously, you don’t have to sing. Just ignore them, they will eventually stop if you just ignore them.” She tells me as we flop down the couch together. “But I don’t want to ignore them. I would never do that to your family, just relax. I can do it. I want to sing.” I reply, still smiling. I feel Dohee’s warm palm against my cheek and something melts a little inside of me. It calms me back down from all the unsolicited touches I’ve received so far.

This touch is the only touch that matters to me. I press my hand on the back of hers and I push it down my lap. “I’ll sing for you, I want to.” I let her know before flipping the song book open.

I loud clap makes us look up. “Oh! Sir, you can choose whatever but I think it’s going to be more fitting if you pick a song that has the word baby in the title, does that make sense? Since this is a baby shower.” One younger guest suggests. If I’m not mistaken, she’s only in her early twenties, I think? Since she’s young, her approach and demeanor didn’t bug me as much.

Hm, that’s actually true. I mean that would be easy. There’s a ton of songs that has the word baby in its title. I look at Dohee briefly. “What’s her name? Siwoo, right?” I mouth softly and she nods in approval. I look at the lady and smile. “Oh, Siwoo that’s smart. Thank you, it makes it easier for me to pick, actually.” I chuckle before proceeding to flip through the book.

In no time, everyone is finally all done eating. We go back to our original positions in the beginning and they all scatter around, surrounding me and Dohee at the very middle of the couch. “Okay … so you’re really singing?” My girlfriend asks again and I watch her cover with both hands, as if she couldn’t grasp reality.

Does she still think I’m joking?

Is this too hard to believe?

“Yes.” I nod eagerly while laughing out air. I dart my eyes back to the pages and I don’t hesitate to flip to the songs starting in letter B since they are organized alphabetically. I am actually relieved that I have at least a basis on what song to pick or I would have taken forever—I know myself very well. I can barely pick a restaurant for dates, let alone a song to sing.

Baby by Justin Bieber. God, please, no. I am not going there. That is too childish for me. There’s a few more songs that is straight-up called Baby but I don’t know any of them. I continue to scan down and I stop at one particular song. I recognize the song and singer, that’s awesome. I own a few albums of this ballad group so this one should be easy. I lift my head to look at them. “Okay, I have a song.” I raise my hand like a student and someone throws me something. I catch it out of reflex. Oh, it’s the controller for the Karaoke, I think this is where you punch in the number of the song. “What is it?” Dohee tries to peek but I hide it from her. “It’s a surprise.” I grin while pushing her away from the book.

With the controller flipped to one side away from Dohee’s view, I punch in the number before hitting Select and Start.

Silence fill the cramped up living room, all eyes anticipate towards the television. I, on the other hand, slip a grip on Dohee’s hand setting it on my lap. I stare at our interlaced fingers while I wait for the melody to start. “Ba—baekhyun.” Dohee’s voice falters and I turn to her just in time that the song begins.

Long high-pitched aaaaah’s echoes through the room, some of them I assume recognizing the song. I settle the microphone close to my mouth as I take in a deep breath. I exhale unhurriedly, just in time for the first line.

I didn’t know the reason why I changed.

I thought about it for a long time

I feel my girlfriend’s grip on my fingers tighten which makes me smile a little. Gentle yelps coming from the guests cause me to chuckle in between words.

After I met you, I think I changed … a lot.

As I hear this song

This time, I pull myself up completely. Everyone gasps in anticipation of what I am about to do. I ignore everybody else around me at the moment as I turn my body around to face the couch. I lower myself until one knee is dropped on the floor. I meet eyes with my girlfriend who still had her hand pressed against . I keep holding her hand as I continue singing.

I’m so thankful for you, oh baby

You are so pretty

Her hand finally drops to her side revealing her wide and infectious smile that I adore. I brace myself for the coming line as the pitch will shift higher. I take in a nice deep breath before proceeding.

I can’t take my eyes off of you

In my eyes, I only see you

I nod along the words as I hold my gaze to her only. This song, forget about the suggestion of picking a song that has a Baby on its title, this song is exactly what I’ve always wanted to tell Dohee. I want to shout in the entire world how much I love her. How beautiful she is to me. That she’s the only person I will ever look at. Nobody else matters.

I only want to look at you

Really … ooh baby

I rise up again but this time, I tug her along to stand. I motion her arms up to my neck as I take a few steps back to get to the middle. Dohee keeps her head low to the ground and I know I am making her very shy at the moment. But she deserves, she deserves this attention right now. I don’t care what these other people think of her, of us. I know that they asked me to serenade them and I am probably doing a very bad job at that because all my attention is solely for Shim Dohee. I don’t regret choosing to do this though. Some guests start singing along with me while others continue to squeal in rejoice.

I get to the part of the song and I take another step back but I don’t let go of Dohee’s hand so her arm stretches out towards me. She is now gasping in surprise when I hit a high note effortlessly. I don’t know where the I got that note but it just came out naturally. I’m really feeling this song right now, maybe that’s why.

I get bac