PLAYLIST: “You Give Me Something,” James Morrison

DOHEE

It’s another day at work. I honestly didn’t even feel like coming today but thankfully, nobody really asked me about what happened at the seminar. Obviously, I don’t have any clue. I can’t even make it up for the life of me because that would require intense knowledge in business—which I don’t currently have in me, I believe. One thing is for sure though, am over my crush on Do Kyungsoo. I don’t think I can keep up with it anymore. How he acted against me yesterday, I could forgive it but … I can’t forget. The way he made me feel about myself is something that’s not easy to forget because up to this second, I am still suffering the effect of it. You just don’t do something like that someone you could care or potentially care about. I understand his feelings towards the situation but that’s not an excuse to take advantage of anyone like that for such a petty move and he’s thirty-five for God’s sake. I never thought he could go that low for an ex-lover. My image of him for all these years changed in just one single day.

I think it’s safe to say … that I am turned off by him.

I still greatly admire him for his great efforts and work for Bean Hub but … I feel like it’s going to be strictly business between us now, well not that it went over that anyway. I feel like I wasted my time crushing on him. I liked him better when he was still with Jihyun and I can’t even believe I am saying that right now. It’s scary how different heartbreak works for people. In Kyungsoo’s case, it definitely didn’t do him any good.

My worst nightmare as of this morning, however, bites me in the when Kyungsoo came to the café. Okay, what am I supposed to do now? This should be easy. Strictly-business, Shim Dohee. I bow at him politely, along with the other staff, as he walks into the counter. “Good morning guys.” His eyes search mine and surprisingly, I do not waver to look back. I guess … I have lost my personal respect towards him. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or if that’s going to make me lose my job.

I don’t want to burst at him like how I burst at the ogre—remember the ogre? Yeah, I just don’t find myself timid towards bad people, for some reason. I don’t take crap from them once I have read who they really are. However, I need to keep my job; I can’t act recklessly. “Dohee, a word?” He requests kindly so I follow him into his office. I keep my head lowered the whole time. He walks to his table and I just stood there near the door so it’s easy for me to leave later. He leans on the table like he usually does and looks up at me. “Look, I lost control last night because it’s my first time seeing her after the breakup.” He begins.

Alright, keep going. He starts with excuses, sure. I don’t mind.

I look up while nodding. “I understand, sir. No worries, it’s like nothing happened at all.” I simply reply. He looks away while scratching his neck. “Okay, let’s just be honest here then.” He lets out a worn-out chuckle while throwing his arms in the air. “Dohee, I know you like me. I’ve known for a while.” He admits and I am surprised for a while but then … he looks at me with those knowing laser eyes that it almost bothers me. I don’t say anything because I literally have nothing to say about that. He shrugs. “So … I just thought you’d help me out, more than anyone. You know, we could have at least … gone into the seminar and not look like complete cowards to her because we left. Do you know what I mean? I was just very disappointed that it didn’t make a change because you ended up crying and we had to go. I was hoping to change her mind if she sees me with another girl but that didn’t work.” He explains.

I tilt my head to the side and I control the urge to scoff. What? What the heck is he even talking about? He knows I like him … so he used me … to make Jihyun jealous? So, it’s not even about moral support anymore. A part of me refused to go to that path since I really don’t see myself as a threat to any woman but … he just confirmed it to me and it’s unbelievable. “Uhm … okay, sir.” I slowly nod, not really knowing what he wants from me at this point. Does he want to apologize for crying? I don’t understand. “Like, you know? It’s not really a big deal if we help each other like that, right? I’d probably do the same too if you really need my help in that way. We’ve known each other for a long time so I thought it was possible. Sorry if the situation made you a little sensitive, I should have just been honest with you at the beginning of how I would like things to happen. I know I confused you.” He continues to speak.

Eh? Sorry if the situation made you a little sensitive? I mean … there’s sorry in there but why do I feel attacked? How does he do that? How am I—wait, hold up—how am I the sensitive one now? Oh my god?! What is this conversation? I am so confused but not in the way he’s making it seem like.  

He stands up straight again. “You see, there’s going to be more instances of me having to meet her in the future. Our families’ businesses are still somewhat tied together and so … I need you. And this time, I’m not trying to hide anything from you. Just help me try to make her realize that things don’t have to end between us. I will thank you for the rest of my life if you just help me out. You care about me, right? Please, Dohee. I will give you a raise if you help me out.” He pleads and my mouth just hung open in disbelief.

Is this man asking me what I think he’s asking me? This is like an actual K-drama deal except, I’m not liking it, nor is it exciting me. “Oh … like Full House.” I nod with a growing smile. He frowns at me. “Full Ho—what?” He asks, obviously confused. “Never mind, sir. I’m going to have to say no and I’m sorry but … I don’t think I like you that way. I’m sorry, sir. I’d like to get back to my work if that’s alright.” I timidly answer, rejecting his proposal. I know I might have just humiliated my boss and I might just lose my job but … I can’t deal with that kind of arrangement.

I mean … I technically did that with Baekhyun in Busan but it didn’t feel weird.

This feels weird even if I am hearing it from a man I used to have a crush on.

I don’t know what it is.

“Excuse me? What do you mean you don’t like me? You obviously do, it’s always been way too obvious.” He chuckles in disbelief. Oh, he can’t believe I’m not crying in joy right now? Wow, for a while, I even thought he’d genuinely regret everything that happened yesterday. It turned him into a full-on beast—and not the y kind of beast. This is just turning me off more and more as this conversation goes on. “Uhm, are we done, sir? Cause I still need to help them outside.” I ask politely before turning around to leave but to my surprise, I feel a firm hand grab my wrist. “Okay—Dohee, no, wait.” A huff comes out of him as he twirled me around. He rubs the tip of his nose while scoffing arrogantly. “No one’s going to know about this, okay? This is between us. Do you promise me, Dohee? Because I don’t want us to have problems, you’re a good employee. I don’t want to have to fire you if you spread rumors. Okay?” He asks sweetly yet viciously at the same time.

His voice is deeper, like in a threatening tone. Just as his face moves closer to mine, I finally smell alcohol from his breath. Oh my god, he’s drunk! When I don’t answer right away, I feel his hand tightening around my wrist. Oh my god—is he really like this behind closed doors? Now it makes even more sense why Jihyun left him! Is he calling this a rumor already? I have never heard someone deny something so fast, it’s not even done yet. I’m not even out of this office and he’s already calling it a rumor.

This is not good, he seems very drunk right now. I don’t know what to do. “Sir—can you remove your ha—sir, it really hurts now.” I wince when he pins me against the closed door. “Dohee, all I’m asking is for you to help me and it’s not even a free favor, you’re getting a raise. Don’t you want that?” I tremble against him as I shake my head viciously in fear. “If a raise isn’t enough for you, I can give you more. I’m sure you’re dying to have it anyway.” He adds before leaning in. My shoulders jolt up in fear when I feel his lips touch mine. “No, stop!” I push him off the chest and he stumbled on the floor. “Dohee, it’s just a ing peck on the lips—seriously? Why are you freaking out? What the do you think I was gonna do to you?” He asks in disbelief as he struggles to get back up. “Don’t tell me it’s your first kiss? Aren’t you, like, thirty?” He manages to chuckle it out like it’s the most ridiculous thought ever.

Tears quickly fall on my cheeks as I stare at him in terror. “I’m—I’m sorry, sir.” I cry before getting out of that hell as soon as I can. Some employees see me run into my office on the other side. I ne