PLAYLIST: “Being An Adult,” Kim Nayoung

DOHEE

I learned this new trick from my boyfriend that he advised me to do before I start with whatever I will do at work that requires my mental energy.

One, breathe in and breathe out.

Two, breathe in and breathe out.

Three, breathe in and breathe out.

Well, if I am being honest, it takes me a couple of tries until I eventually get tired of it and I just choose to deal with whatever I am anxious about, despite that I am still heavily anxious about it. I don’t think breathing exercises and meditations work for me. My mind is way too hyperactive to relax. In case the first step doesn’t work, as most of the time, Baekhyun provided me with another way to ease my nerves.

I close my eyes, cross my arms with my palms laying flat against my upper body. I then begin gently patting my own shoulders, as if giving myself a comforting hug. Along with this, I remind myself of the way Baekhyun squeezes me gently whenever he hugs me.

And somehow, I feel so much better now.

I take in a lungful of air once more as I whisper another phrase under my breath. “It’s okay to move slow than not move at all.” I say a couple more times as I step into the building. You’d think I’m about to step onto the stage for the biggest performance of my life.

But I’m just here to do some legal stuff for Kyungsoo in the bank.

Okay, Shim Dohee, just relax. If you don’t understand something, just say it and ask. Don’t be afraid to ask. Remember what Baekhyun told you, really intelligent people are never afraid to ask. You got this, girl. I approach the front desk to tell the staff about my appointment. She asks for my identification and this always gets me nervous for some reason, and I’m not even a criminal. Alright, Dohee, just … put the stuff you’re holding down and then calmly take your wallet out—why are you fumbling like you’re committing fraud right now? Just relax! I finally manage to place the thick folder I was holding before going through my purse in a calmer way again. “Sorry, just one second.” I grinned shyly at the staff.

Okay, calm down, don’t grin like Penny Wise. Just … smile like a lady.

Oh god, how do I even do that without looking like I have explosive diarrhea?

I finally find my wallet and I take out all the identification cards that she asked for. Okay, you’re back on track, girl. Just keep going. The staff leads me to one of their cubicles and I meet up with the same person I’ve met up with from the second appointment here. Yes, this is my third time doing this same crap and I’m still nervous. Do Kyungsoo’s therapy better work fast or I might just lose my mind completely.

Okay, enough with this self-talk, you got this!

The appointment took me about half an hour or a little more than that. There was a lot that the consultant had to go through with me and there were pages of documents I had to thoroughly read first before signing. That part was nerve-wracking, I hate reading stuff while a professional person waits for me to finish. The pressure was real I am a slow reader, okay?! But anyway, I pulled through and did not pass out the entire time. That’s awesome. I hug the folder close to my chest as I bid goodbye to the consultant. “Thank you very much, hav—have a good eveni—wait, no, good afternoon. I mean, have a good day.” I bow more to somewhat mask the train of mistakes I just did. I quickly turn away before rushing out.

It’s a Sunday today and Baekhyun offered again to pick me up from this appointment and then we’ll go have a lunch date after. I have completely forgotten to let him know that I was done. I promised him I’d leave him a text once it’s almost over. But how am I supposed to exactly know the time to—I need not finish my thoughts when I see a familiar figure waiting by his car at the parking lot, right across the bank.

My eyes lit up as I quickly make my way towards him. “I didn’t text you yet, how long have you been waiting? Sorry, I forgot to text you before it finished, but I was okay with waiting for you. The bank isn’t too far from you anyway and—” Baekhyun cups my face before planting the sweetest kiss on my lips. I melt in his touch and a smile automatically drags my lips upwards. Our lips slowly part ways and our eyes meet. “Good job today, love. Let’s go, I bet you’re hungry because I am, so pick a restaurant now.” He opens the car door for me and I just give him a cute glare.

“Oh, I have to think? You’re the one who’s off. I’m technically not off today, see?” I point towards the bank accusingly as I laugh teasingly. He childishly mimics the way I wobble my head before chuckling so adorably at me. “Hey, the last restaurant was my idea—it’s your turn now, don’t glare at me like a puppy, just get in and start searching for a place.” He shakes his head seemingly amused so I just quickly give up before getting in.

This is always the best way to conclude every stressful task I have to pull through.

Knowing that he’s always going to be there giving me that warm loving smile of his.

Byun Baekhyun. My Byun Baekhyun. 

I have a meeting with some investors today so I am coming to the salon for a blowout. I arrive at the place and check-in for my appointment. I was finally able to convince him to allow me to pay for my appointments but he put a 50% off and declared me as a family in their system. The first time he told me that, I had a little freak-out accident because of how sweet it is that I started crying while laughing at the same time.

I’m weird, I know. But he loved every second of it like he was watching the greatest show ever.

I finally see my boyfriend approaching me at the front desk. My smile fades when I see his face looking a bit sour. I don’t say anything as he leads me to the shampoo station. Once we are close enough, I tug him on the arm as I sit down. “You okay?” I mouth softly so only he can hear me. He nods. “Yeah, later, I’ll tell you.” He assures me before starting to wash my hair.

From the way, he looks and all to the way he shampooed my hair felt quite off and it scared me. He’s in a really bad mood and I wonder why. I hope it’s nothing serious. I’ve never seen him be this way before, it’s the first time. It’s not scary though, it’s just very concerning.

He finishes my shampoo and he brings me to his chair. He grabs the blow-dry but before starting, he sits on his swivel chair behind me. I feel his hand on my shoulder so I move my head closer to him, taking that as a gesture to listen. “I had a color fix today that took me three hours and the client still wasn’t happy with it. She was blaming me for not explaining to her well enough what’s the second process going to do to her hair and she got very mad and there was this whole scene in here when she was complaining. In the end, we didn’t have a choice but to do a refund.” My mouth falls open in shock.

Wait—Byun Baekhyun? Not making a client happy?

HOLD MY IMAGINARY BEER. How is this even real? This man literally has magic hands, what the heck? Was that woman crazy? He is literally the Hair Color God, Hair Artist of the Year. I know I am exaggerating, of course, he’s very much allowed to make mistakes as everybody else does but it’s still making me very angry that a client treated my boyfriend like that.

I turn my head completely to look at him with the biggest pout. “Are you okay?” I ask and he finally smiles a little more genuinely. “Yeah, it happens. I’m used to it, I’m just a bit embarrassed about how my client approached the issue very vulgarly. It made the other clients uncomfortable. I just feel really bad.” He explains to me before starting to dry my hair. The noise from the blow dryer doesn’t give me a chance to answer anymore so I just watch him from the mirror. He looks so remorseful; it’s making me angry.

Why do some people do that? I’ve encountered many people in the café doing that to our staff and I always had to face them since I’m the manager—always the worst feeling ever for me, especially when they’re getting mad at me for something I didn’t even do. I wasn’t even in there when whatever it happened!

I decide not to ask further questions while we are in the vicinity of the salon. However, once my hair was done and I have paid, I asked for him to go with me outside first. As soon as we are out of the salon, I jump on him for a comforting hug. I earn a chuckle from the man but I only tighten my hug on his neck. “Don’t be too worried, I did kind of make a mistake. The client had a reason to be upset, I should have explained to her more clearly about the condition of her hair after the process.” I pull away just enough for me to face him.

I nod. “Yes, fine, you made a mistake but it doesn’t mean you deserve to be humiliated in front of everybody like that. I am confident that no one in that salon, including the clients, thoughtless of you because of whatever the witch said.” My boyfriend turns his head away and I see a hint of smile suppressed in his mouth. “I know you. You always try your very best and I think that’s what really matters at the end of the day. No matter how skillful you are at your craft, you’re still human who makes mistakes and people should understand that instead of expecting you to be perfect all the time.” I add.

I make him turn to me again before pressing our lips together.

We suddenly hear a knocking sound making us both turn towards the salon. There’s one of the stylists, I believe his name is Jun, looking at us through the glass while pointing to the left. He had a smirk on his face so I knew he didn’t mean anything bad, he just wanted us to move away from the entrance. Skillfully, we both move more to the left until we are right at the wall where no one in the salon would see us. Baekhyun and I share a chuckle as we hug each other.

Baekhyun nuzzles the tip of his nose on mine. “Thank you.” He mouths softly before giving me another kiss on the lips. “Good luck on the meeting.” He adds after. I throw my head back and he catches me with his forearm on my back. “Ugh, don’t remind me.” I whine making him laugh.

Seriously, I don’t need a reminder that I will be meeting with these creepy-looking obnoxious old men who think they are to be worshipped just because they are business stockholders. Honestly, the more that I meet with these old ogres, the more that I am getting more comfortable. Not the good kind of comfortable though … I’ve just lost some of my respect to them because of how they treat me like a lowlife idiot just because I’m there to proxy Kyungsoo who is, by the way, trying his best to give me occasional calls to guide me into things every time I don’t understand something.

So, if I ever do say something in the meetings just to participate, I am literally just reciting whatever Kyungsoo tells me to say. I find it so funny when those sets of ogres still think my ideas are stupid just because they came out of my mouth. They’re basically saying Kyungsoo is stupid, right?

I don’t know. I really don’t know. All I know