PLAYLIST: “Rain Drop,” Standing Egg (With Yeseul)

BAEKHYUN

I wonder if she’s running by now?

I shift my gaze away from the computer. It was a busy Saturday for me, as always. Fortunately, I’m done for the day and I’m just hanging out in the front desk to further check my upcoming schedules. My days off are Sundays and Tuesdays so I’m off tomorrow. Today, I did Dohee’s hair for her date. I believe at one point, she ended up crying on my chair. I do not exactly know how it started but she just did and it scared me like nothing ever has. Three years of knowing this girl and I’ve never seen her shed a tear in front of me.

I knew she had issues but I never knew she’s the one to cry. But what do I know, really? I fear that she does that on a daily basis … all alone. The thought alone makes my chest feel somehow tight.

Yeonji who was seated beside me finished the phone call I instructed her to make. “Sunbae, Miss Bada asked to move her Digital perm and root perm appointment on Monday to Thursday instead, at three o’clock and you’re free from that time on so far, but I know you finish at 4:30 so I wasn’t sure if you still want to take it. She said she will call back later, she’s still at work but I told her I would check on you first to see if you’re okay with it.” She briefly looked over to the computer to adjust the bookings. “Yeah, of course. Book it now, I don’t mind finishing late. Haebin’s working on Thursday, she will help me.” I pat her arm before walking away to finally gather my things.

I see Taewoo and Jun in the staff room, watching a video together on a phone. I briefly look at them as I head to my locker. “You’re bouncing, hyung?” Jun asked and I simply nod. “I think I’m gonna go too, Jaebom, and I have plans tonight.” Taewoo stood up, rubbing Jun’s back before turning to me. “You mind dropping me off at the station, buddy?” He asked me. I sling my pouch on my shoulder before nodding. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go.” I walk ahead first, letting him gather his own things.

Bomi, the senior director and the owner of Elite Hair Studio is in the office talking to Soyoung, our salon manager. The door is fully open so I peek in, knocking on the door twice to get their attention. “I’m leaving, have a good night everyone.” I bow politely. Bomi stood up, heading over to me. “Baekhyun, do you want to attend a hair show in L.A. with me next month? I know your family lives there, so I thought to ask you, in case you have plans to visit them.” I take a brief moment to take in her invitation but I already know I don’t want to. I just don’t want to decline her right away. She’s still my boss, although she’s only three years older and we talk like friends.

“Uh, I’ll think about it, noona. I’ll see my schedule and I’ll let you know.” I nod before politely bowing once more. I glance over to Soyoung. “Bye now. I’m heading off.” I wave a hand before walking away. Just then, Taewoo comes out of the staff room. He does the same and bids goodbye in the office and to the main floor before taking off.

We get to my car and drove off, the station is on the same way, fortunately. “You have any plans today too? I mean, I know you’re a homebody but there must be something that you enjoy doing outside sometimes, right?” He asked me. “Jaebum and I have been golfing in our free time. Do you want to try? I think you’ll like it. It’s not some crazy wild activity so I think you’d enjoy doing it.” He then offers.

Golfing? No, I don’t think so. “No, thank you. I don’t really enjoy sports that much. I do Pilates and I go for a hike sometimes.” I answer. I don’t usually chat about personal stuff to my co-workers but since he’s in my car and we’re basically off work now, I let him in a little bit as a friend. Taewoo nods in interest. “Oh, that’s great. I hear a lot about Pilates, they said it’s really good and calming. Maybe I should try it sometime. And who do you hike with?” He asks next. How much more does he want to know? I glue my eyes to the road, contemplating if I should further the conversation or not. But I don’t want to be rude. “I like to hike alone,” I answer.

As I’ve expected, he now gives me a saddened but thoughtful nod. I enjoy nature as it is. Walking or hiking alone is something I do to clear my head. I don’t know what’s so wrong with it. He’s looking at me as if I’m the loneliest person he’d met.

I’m not lonely at all. Being alone is different from being lonely. You could have hundreds of friends, go to parties every night and still be lonely. “Do you date at all? When’s the last time you had a girlfriend, man? I remember the time I just started in Elite, you had a girl that time, right?” He asked, traveling back to a time I have long forgotten. That was like seven years ago.

Her name is Nayoung and we met in hair school. We dated for four years. We broke up on good terms. I believe we both gradually fell out of love and we had very different perspectives in life. After hair school, she changed her mind and decided she wanted to do something else. It was different for me. I was serious and passionate about what I wanted to do and I always felt that it frustrated her that I didn’t end up giving up hairstyling as she did.

At first, she supported me and we lived together. As time passed by, however, she couldn’t appreciate my concentration in my art and my desire to have alone time once in a while—she found that to be very insensible of me to even want space for a little bit since we already lived together. She had her own back story, her own issues and so she was very insecure about my nature as a person. I understand every emotion she required from me. I never blame her for whatever she felt and had said about why we didn’t work out. She felt attacked that I didn’t revolve my world around her and she needed someone who could fulfill that … or someone who could make her realize otherwise and help her heal from her issues for her own good.

Unfortunately, that just wasn’t me, I admit that. It wasn’t meant to be and I only wish her well, until now. I believe she’s married already. I’m very happy for her. “You still haven’t moved on from her? What’s her name again?” Taewoo asked, distracting me back to reality. I smile a bit. “Nayoung, Lee Nayoung. I’ve moved on, of course. I just don’t have time right now. I’m not in any rush since I’m hoping for someone to settle down with, not just to date. I don’t see the point of dating around if not for marriage.” I answer truthfully.

I really have moved on from Nayoung. If I hadn’t … I wouldn’t be sick worried about Dohee right now. Like every single time, she goes on dates. Of course, Taewoo doesn’t know that.

“I get that, I get that.” He nodded approvingly, even patting my shoulder. “Good for you, man. Not a lot of men our age say the same thing. They only like to have fun, to play the field until they’re sick of it.” He laughs. “I’m lucky I have Jaebum now. He has the same perspective; he was never the type to play around. I admit, I was before meeting him but I’m past that phase.” I nod in acknowledgment. I’m happy for him. I believe he’s been with Jaebum for almost two years.

In no time, we arrived at the station. “I must say, it’s always much better to chat with you than Jun or Sara. I