PLAYLIST: “You And Me,” Lifehouse

BAEKHYUN

I reminisce the day of my biggest practical examination that was part of obtaining my license many years ago. Professional mentors watching every move you make; scrutinizing glares, unsmiling faces, animated eyebrows—

This specific moment is giving me the same feeling that I ached as an ambitious newbie back then. Relax, Byun Baekhyun. You need to relax and just be yourself. You did so well in Dohee’s apartment earlier and you need to keep it up. I take a deep breath, undoing my grip on the steering wheel. I already saw my girlfriend and her mother waiting in front of the salon when I drove by to get to the parking lot. I’m petrified. I was so confident that it was only going to take me ten minutes to get everything ready but I went hysterical once I got home. I took the fastest shower I have ever done in my entire life, made myself as look presentable as possible and lastly, searched for those goddamn roller sets that I have long forgotten about.

It was buried deep within my storage room. I didn’t even have the time to clear up the things that I had to take out just to get to what I needed. My apartment is presently in a massive clutter and it makes me cringe just by thinking about it. But I had no choice, I had to leave because I promised Mrs. Shim that I was going to take ten minutes.

I took fifteen instead. That’s … not too bad, right? What if she’s mad at me now?

I blow air in my cheeks a few times, as if I’m in labor. I technically am, not that I’ve gone through it but I’d like to assume that this is what it feels like. “Okay, relax. You’re not new to this. You’re just going to style hair, that’s it.” I recite in the back of my head, over and over again. I finally manage to get out of my car and run out to the front. I quickly lower my head to a bow as soon as I meet eyes with them. “I’m so sorry, it took me longer. I’m sorry.” I apologize repeatedly.

“Why are you apologizing?” Mrs. Shim peers down her watch with a surly smile.

I turn to my girlfriend, her telling smiling tightening my breath. , I’m being uptight again. I guess she doesn’t mind the extra five minutes? I huff a laugh that’s all air. Well, that’s embarrassing. Dohee hops beside me and rubs my back for sympathy. “Relax.” I read her lips mouth to me. I take the initiative to open the door for them and let them in first. “Oh? Good morning, sunbae.” The part-time receptionist, Jieun, greets me with respect. “Are you working today, sunbae?” The kid also bows to my company with a bright smile on her face.

I see the other three stylists that are working today. Sara, Jun and Woori. “Hi, Jieun. No, I’m just here for a special client.” I tell her and she immediately braces herself to look into the system. “No no no, you don’t have to do anything—you know, just block it as model in my schedule, so Bomi noona knows I came today. Okay?” I turn to my special guests once again who are both waiting patiently behind me. “After you?” I motion them to walk ahead of me towards the work floor.

As soon as we get there, the three stylists who were working on their clients on their stations all bow at the same time. “Sunbae! You came.” They all say in chorus, out of habit. I give them a simple nod before leading Mrs. Shim straight to the shampoo station. Dohee on the other hand goes near my station. “Let me put your bag on my station so you’re comfortable, ma’am.” I offer to take her purse and she hands it to me right away. Dohee takes a seat on the chair beside where I am working on, which is usually Bomi noona’s station but she’s not here today so it doesn’t matter. My girlfriend giggles prettily, the sound of it settling in my ears like windchimes and it eases my nerves right away. “Yah, she’s really going to like your massage.” She coos with confidence.

I humbly shrug before rushing back to the shampoo station. I motion Mrs. Shim to lay back on the slanted chair and I place a small blanket over her since she’s wearing a long skirt. “Thank you.” She half-heartedly says while holding onto it. I give her a light nod before settling behind the sink. I gently position her head, making sure her neck is comfortable on the groove of the bowl. “Is your neck alright?” I ask and she only gives me a curt nod.

Before I could even turn the faucet on, Jun approaches my direction while holding his two empty color bowls. “Sunbae, aren’t you off today? You had a crazy day yesterday; I saw the schedule. How’d you fit in that much people? You must be exhausted. Sara noona said you didn’t even have the chance to sit and or eat. How are you now?” He clumsily tells me. Oh god damn it, don’t say that in front of my girlfriend’s mother. I widen my eyes at him to shut him up as silently as possible.

It’s not only about my current client being Dohee’s mother. It’s just plain rude to say that in front of a client and possibly guilt-trip them for coming. This guy is going to get in trouble with me later on. He seems to get what my eyes are telling him and he folds his lips in a tight line. He bows apologetically before running into the color bar behind me.

“Is that true? You were that busy yesterday?” Mrs. Shim asks. I turn the water on and wait for it to heat up a bit. “Ah, no ma’am. I was just fully booked, he’s exaggerating. Aigoo, he wasn’t even in yesterday.” I try to laugh it off to assure her that she’s not being a burden at all. Oh my god, Jun is going to hear it from me later. “Is the water okay for you?” I gently point the nozzle on the crown of her head. She approves of the temperature so I go on and wet her hair down. “Do you have a lot of male stylists here?” Her question makes me tense up again.

She’s going there. Okay, I need to relax and not be triggered.

I smile. “At the moment we have four, including me.” I should have seen it coming that this question may eventually come up again, the gender thing in my industry. I lean forward to the sink and lather a generous amount of shampoo to her hair. “In my days, only barbers were male. So, you do everything?” She proceeds with another question and I take a moment to try and process what to answer. “Yes, I do, including barbering. My main focus is color though. I’m a master colourist which allows me to teach too.” I answer and as if on cue, Jun comes back out to stand beside me while he holds a huge color book.

Oh my god, this kid cannot be bothering me right now.  

“Sunbae, you see my client over there? I was able to lift her up to a level eight but she had a box color around the ends so it’s kind of over-processed there and I’m just concerned that it’s not going to take the color as much as the other parts would. Can I just use this one tone to make lavender or do I need to mix two different formulas?” He asks, while pointing to some color swatches.

You see, he’s a Level II Stylist which is under a Senior stylist which is under Associate Director Stylist which is under Director Stylist—that’s me.  I get that he’s still learning and he must be happy that I am here when he needs help but … I’m in quite a tough position right now to be dealing with this. “Can I finish this first? I’ll come check later, okay, Jun?” I couldn’t hide the slight irritation on my tone which I think he felt.

His expression stiffens up and he bows quickly before running away again.

I proceed to my work and, my fingers starting to work their way into her scalp, giving her a firm scrub. “So, you’re one of the seniors, huh?” Mrs. Shim asks. This is a good thing, right? She’s actually curious about me, about my job. My mother has never even asked me about anything at all. I doubt if she even knows the name of my salon at the moment. “Yeah, kind of. My level at the moment is right under the Senior Director who’s the owner.” I answer.

I catch her eyebrows twitching in acknowledgment. “So, I guess your pricing varies to the level? Your price must be big then. How much is your price for a simple haircut?”

Well, she’s not wrong. But I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging if I answer. I’m uncomfortable with these types of questions. “Uh, well, it depends. Since I’m a Director Stylist, I actually have the privilege to adjust my price based on the client. Like if they’ve been my client for a long time, I can choose to lessen the price. That’s what I did for your daughter too. Although now, obviously, I don’t charge her anymore.” I answer, avoiding the need to specify a number. I really don’t like to talk about my income. I start rinsing her hair and she tells me that she only wants one shampoo. That’s too bad, I wanted to give her the full experience but that’s fine, her hair isn’t that dirty to begin with.

I move on to the conditioner and I only put very little amount because she needs volume and I don’t want to weigh her hair down. I start with my scalp massage and I see her closing her eyes, her brows relaxing. I smile in satisfaction as I continue. I hope she’s liking it. I doubt I’m going to hear any compliment but as long as she actually enjoys it, that’s what matters to me.

I see Dohee peeking into the shampoo bar with a big grin on her face. She throws me two thumbs up before skipping back to the station. My massage seemed to have made her completely silent. I wonder if she’s even awake? If she has fallen asleep, I think I just hit the right spot. This is what I’m talking about. I just need to—

“Sunbae.” Jun’s voice behind me echoes and my eyes quickly darken with irritation. I lift one hand at him and point my index finger up. He quickly gets the signal and walks away again. Wow, I am glad I don’t work on Sundays. I unhurriedly finish the scalp massage and I feel her move a bit when I begin rinsing her hair off. “I hope you enjoyed that, ma’am.” I say with a smile. She sighs a bit before nodding, a hint of smile peeking through her lips.

YES! I did it again. I made her smile.

Once I am finished, I wrap her hair with a towel and motion her to my station. “Eomma, good, right?” Dohee asks her right away as she flops down the chair. “I’ll be right back; I’m just going to give my co-worker some advice about his client. Sorry.” I tap the chair lightly before walking away. I walk into the color bar and Jun looks at me with a nervous smile. “Jun.” I call him as I approach. “That was my girlfriend’s mom and this is the first time I’m doing her hair so I am trying to do well. Okay? So, what help do you need? Tell me now because I won’t have time later. I’m not going to stay here all day.” I simply tell him and he tenses up right away. “No—nothing, sunbae. Thank you. I’m sorry!” He gives me a full bow before turning back to the shelves, avoiding my gaze. I glance down at the color book he was looking into and a small piece of paper that he was writing his formulas on. I take a quick peek at his client from afar. “Mix twenty grams of Dusty Purple and ten grams Crystal Clear on the second formula. It should neutralize it a little bit but do it when you’re done applying the first formula all over the crown to the midshaft. The cuticles on her ends are very open and she has a lot of baby hair so apply it the last on the ends and hairline because they will grip on the color faster and it will look darker. Maybe you can even dampen the hair a little bit it may help a little bit. She has a lot of unevenness because of the previous box color and who knows what so be careful on making the demarcation lines obvious.” I advice and pat him firmly on the shoulder. “Alright, I know you can do it so stop bothering for the mean time because I have my own dilemma here, okay buddy?” I kindly say before walki